Today, of course, I got one without a single apostrophe - so aside from the usual "your" for "you're", it was littered with "Im" and "Ill" and "shes" and so on, suggested that he is looking for a girl who is not a liar or a cheater (going on to say that he had himself been cheated on, and could never make someone feel like that - which didn't follow logically, if you ask me, but never mind, it gets worse) but that if she's not "into affection" or if she's "frigid" they probably wouldn't be a good fit - I know, I'm shocked that this kid is still single at the ripe old age of 29 - and (and!) identifies himself as a man in the same sentence as he identifies the woman he hopes to end up with as a girl.

F MINUS, grasshopper. Jesus.