icon rather depends on the brain behaving itself, you know?

[fox]

I cannot tell you how fervently I hope the neurologist has something clever to say tomorrow, I tell you what. Not because I'm scared (though I'm gratified by the messages suggesting that people are nervous on my behalf? - only I think that level of anxiety isn't indicated, but it is flattering all the same), but because I am monumentally frustrated. I'll have almost entire days of feeling pretty good and normal, and start thinking I must be overselling it in my own head, you know, like how the first day of a sore throat you think you'll never be able to speak or swallow anything but soup ever again, and then of course it gets better; and then out of nowhere I'll get a wave of ~yikes~ and by now it's like brain hiccups, in a way, where just when you think they're gone another one comes. (Only it's obviously a bigger deal than hiccups.)

I was saying to my mother yesterday how I have this worry that the neuro is going to come up with a ridiculously simple solution like taking a different vitamin or avoiding cheese or something, and then I'll just feel too stupid for words, having taken it to so many doctors and worried so much - except then I remind myself that simple is not at all the same as obvious, and I feel a little better.