how to annoy a woman with a headache:

[fox]

send her reams and reams of credit-card offers. this is especially effective if you're a company that treated her badly in the past.

capital one keeps sending me all kinds of crap. actually, they keep sending it to my father, but at my address, which is a big ol' mystery. "Dear Mr. Fox," this one says. "In light of your established credit history," blah blah blah.

i'm sending the whole package back to them in their pre-paid Business Reply Mail envelope, with the following cover (in all caps, which i'll spare you):

Four years ago you bait-and-switched me on a Platinum Visa application. My credit history has nothing to do with you. I have never responded to anything you've sent me, and I don't know where you got the idea that my father's name should be on mail coming to my address. I require you to remove me from your mailing list immediately. There should be no mail coming to any Fox at [four-year-old address], [three-year-old address], [two-year-old address], or [current address], until the next time one of us requests that you send something -- and I don't see that happening soon.

Leave me alone.
Fox

felt good. i recommend it.