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"more an Elinor than a Marianne"
Some years ago, almost exactly halfway through the year of my father's final illness, I was (in addition to my dad being terminally ill) having a Difficult Time at Work that basically boiled down to the fact that, especially given how little I was paid at that job, it was pretty upsetting how little of a shit anyone seemed to give whether the work I was doing even got done. The Difficult Time culminated in my dissolving into sobs in a meeting with two bosses and a third person senior to me and being unable to stop for more than an hour. I did eventually cry myself out and make my apologies to my colleagues, and part of the reason I stayed at that job another year and a half (until I was laid off - I don't know if, in a world where they had the faintest idea how to manage funds, I'd be there still, but I wouldn't have left when I did if I hadn't had to) is that my main boss replied to my note to say "I suspect you are like me: more an Elinor than a Marianne, which means it is particularly surprising for us when life makes it hard to hold things together."
At my present job, we've been hanging in there for the first three weeks of the present government shutdown, but we're being stop-worked at the close of business today. I have enough vacation time - which we're being required to use, though not allowed to use sick time - to get me to the end of the pay period, so the check that comes on January 25 will be normal, but starting next Wednesday I'll be on LWOP until (unless) we come back to work. And there's no back pay for contractors, of course. My salary is a smaller share of our total household income than some people's who are affected by this nonsense, but although Himself is the majority breadwinner it's not like I just work for fun money; we're going to have to make some spending adjustments while I'm not getting paid. We are not right up against the limit of our means, but change is hard and uncertainty is even harder.
The level of eff-it (a coinage that I'm actually pretty pleased with as a modification of "level of effort") on my team is pretty high. We're all at work today, wrapping things up, but the impulse to take a sick day - because saving it wouldn't hold off the LWOP at all - was pretty high. Only none of us did. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, I had two main reasons for not calling out today. First, the feds I work with and for are just as upset about being required to cut us loose as we are, and in the week they'll survive without us (that is: they're going to run out of money this time next week, so it's not like they're keeping themselves essential at our expense), our work won't get done, which they also aren't crazy about. Likewise my actual employer, the contracting company, doesn't like having to bench us; they don't make money when we're not working, either. So a sickout wouldn't hurt anyone who actually deserves it. And second, taking a sick day today would feel pouty and petulant. As I said to Himself in the car this morning, the only thing I can actually control in all of this is my own behavior, so I'd like that to be exemplary.
And then I immediately thought of the Dashwoods. "Do you compare your conduct with his?" - "No. I compare it with what it ought to have been; I compare it with yours."
At my present job, we've been hanging in there for the first three weeks of the present government shutdown, but we're being stop-worked at the close of business today. I have enough vacation time - which we're being required to use, though not allowed to use sick time - to get me to the end of the pay period, so the check that comes on January 25 will be normal, but starting next Wednesday I'll be on LWOP until (unless) we come back to work. And there's no back pay for contractors, of course. My salary is a smaller share of our total household income than some people's who are affected by this nonsense, but although Himself is the majority breadwinner it's not like I just work for fun money; we're going to have to make some spending adjustments while I'm not getting paid. We are not right up against the limit of our means, but change is hard and uncertainty is even harder.
The level of eff-it (a coinage that I'm actually pretty pleased with as a modification of "level of effort") on my team is pretty high. We're all at work today, wrapping things up, but the impulse to take a sick day - because saving it wouldn't hold off the LWOP at all - was pretty high. Only none of us did. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, I had two main reasons for not calling out today. First, the feds I work with and for are just as upset about being required to cut us loose as we are, and in the week they'll survive without us (that is: they're going to run out of money this time next week, so it's not like they're keeping themselves essential at our expense), our work won't get done, which they also aren't crazy about. Likewise my actual employer, the contracting company, doesn't like having to bench us; they don't make money when we're not working, either. So a sickout wouldn't hurt anyone who actually deserves it. And second, taking a sick day today would feel pouty and petulant. As I said to Himself in the car this morning, the only thing I can actually control in all of this is my own behavior, so I'd like that to be exemplary.
And then I immediately thought of the Dashwoods. "Do you compare your conduct with his?" - "No. I compare it with what it ought to have been; I compare it with yours."