dear yuletide author

[fox]

Hello, new friend! I'm so happy you're here!

I love Yuletide, and you will have an easy time pleasing me and a hard time disappointing me. Fear not. Let's have a great time together.

The fellow fan and Yuletider who knows me best is ellen_fremedon (fremedon), who has agreed that you can ping her if you need insider info.

My general DNWs as I listed them in my signup are these:

• character bashing, which I define more or less as giving characters negative traits that are not evident in the text—making nice people mean, mainly, because all the rest is just variations on that (making thoughtful people selfish, for example; it's all the same) (I used to say "making smart people stupid" as another example, but the older I get, the more I leave that kind of thinking behind, I think.)
• 2016+ U.S. politics, because I am here for escapism

That's it. Those are the DNWs. Other than that, I don't have a lot to add to my requests:

Nescafé Gold Blend commercials
Since my childhood when I saw one or more of these commercials in the Taster's Choice version, all I can wonder is how on earth these people are so up themselves about instant coffee. Seriously. Granted this was a time before (a) Starbucks, never mind anything better available in mass market, and (b) Keurig, but if I were out of coffee and in desperation asked a neighbor if I could borrow some and they gave me a jar of instant? I genuinely think I would have said "Oh - no, it's okay if you don't have any, thanks," because what I meant was coffee. (Actually I probably would have taken the jar of instant, thanked the neighbor, and then simply not served coffee.) I don't actually think there's anything wrong with liking instant coffee, but I think it's funny that people who are going to be coffee snobs are being snobs about instant coffee. Like, snobs are normally way snobbier, aren't they? And yet this couple meet over both preferring the same brand of instant coffee, which is a ridiculous thing to be a snob about, and it's like a love story for the ages. How can that be? How can we all be so sympathetic to and invested in the happiness of a couple of snobs? I love it. (I understand that the characters are named Tony and Sharon because the actors are named Tony and Sharon, but I would prefer you write about the characters in the fictitious Gold Blend world rather than the actors making the commercial in our world. If this is the only request we match on and you can't not write RPF, can you please give them made-up last names? Thanks and happy new year. :-D)

• fandom-specific DNW: RPF.

Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse
I would adore a zany madcap caper in Wodehouse style. Bertie getting into scrapes and being a lovable idiot, and Jeeves quietly but brilliantly managing his extrication. I should note that I don't especially ship Bertie and Jeeves - though if you do and you can't avoid it that's fine - and I never really got next to the Fry and Laurie TV series, which is why I request the books rather than the show when both are in the tagset. For me, Fry's Jeeves has his snark a little too close to the surface - maybe not more so than the books, but the books are in such tight Bertie POV that Jeeves never appears snarky at all.

• fandom-specific DNW: TV-level snarky!Jeeves

Fiber Arts (anthropomorphic)
I myself am a knitter and have recently begun to crochet as well. I don't spin; my grandmother did, but I never got the hang of it. I work so tight when I knit and crochet that maybe my hands are too pinchy to spin well? I also don't weave, though I like the idea of picking it up if I had the space for a loom of any kind. Anyway, I don't have a lot of specific ideas about anthropomorfic, but I'm really interested in seeing what you come up with if you do.

• fandom-specific DNW: none

Murder, She Wrote
My sainted dad used to love this show, and it was fun to watch it with him. It's fun to look at the reruns and boggle at (a) the costumes and (b) the way it was always obvious in the first five minutes who the murder victim was going to be, because there was always one person who was awful to every single other person. (I was not alert enough at the time to notice whether the famousness of the guest stars ever had anything to do with anything, the way it eventually did on Law & Order, for example.) To say nothing of wondering why on earth people kept moving to or even visiting Cabot Cove, Maine; did they not know how dangerous it was? I suppose they must have figured it couldn't possibly happen to them. Anyway, this year as we have just lost Dame Angela I will specify that I prefer you not make Jessica the villain of the piece. Otherwise, have at.

• fandom-specific DNW: villain!Jessica

If I have further thoughts, I will return and post them here, but like I said, you can also approach Ellen if the signup/this letter leaves you stumped and you need insight.

Apparently we're now being asked to affirm that treats are also welcome, so let me assure you: Treats are also welcome!

Have a great time and happy Yuletide!