oh, they're not. it just feels that way sometimes -- not that they're closer to her specifically, but to her family, if you see what i mean. they live in the same town as her mother, which goes a long way toward it, i guess. it's the fact that i feel (and as i said, i know this is just in my head and not what people are really doing) included out of pity or something that drives me crazy. grar. (i do feel a little better this morning, though. so there's that.)