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how to get not-served in a bar
[ETA: heh heh heh.]
piss off the bartender.
them: [making strange noises, repeatedly, and throwing change at the pakistan-earthquake donation jar as though it were a wishing well]
me: i'm going to ask you to knock that off, guys.
them: [knock off the coin-throwing, but still making annoying boop-beep-whoop noises]
me: [as i serve other people] listen, way i see it, you can keep doing that, or i can serve you, but probably not both.
them: okay, okay, we'll stop. [they order]
five minutes later
them: [resume fucking pissing me off]
me: okay, they are so cut off.
them: excuse me, how late is the bar open tonight?
me: well, i'll be here until 1am, but you guys are done.
them: what, we're banned from the bar?
me: no, but you're cut off for tonight, because clearly you've had enough.
them: no, no, we'll be good! honest!
me: that's nice. we're not serving you any more to drink tonight. [going about my business]
them: [grumble grumble, blah blah, etc. etc., look how she's pretending not to listen to us, like a kid, like a teenager, all adolescent silent treatment, we'll just get someone else to serve us, then.]
me: [to manager, when he pops back in to see how everything's going] not bad, but those two guys are cut off.
manager: probably a good idea.
piss off the bartender.
them: [making strange noises, repeatedly, and throwing change at the pakistan-earthquake donation jar as though it were a wishing well]
me: i'm going to ask you to knock that off, guys.
them: [knock off the coin-throwing, but still making annoying boop-beep-whoop noises]
me: [as i serve other people] listen, way i see it, you can keep doing that, or i can serve you, but probably not both.
them: okay, okay, we'll stop. [they order]
five minutes later
them: [resume fucking pissing me off]
me: okay, they are so cut off.
them: excuse me, how late is the bar open tonight?
me: well, i'll be here until 1am, but you guys are done.
them: what, we're banned from the bar?
me: no, but you're cut off for tonight, because clearly you've had enough.
them: no, no, we'll be good! honest!
me: that's nice. we're not serving you any more to drink tonight. [going about my business]
them: [grumble grumble, blah blah, etc. etc., look how she's pretending not to listen to us, like a kid, like a teenager, all adolescent silent treatment, we'll just get someone else to serve us, then.]
me: [to manager, when he pops back in to see how everything's going] not bad, but those two guys are cut off.
manager: probably a good idea.