answers to the Pop Culture meme

[fox]

I keep forgetting to post the answers, and it seems a lot of you needed them. So.

1. "When you say orphan ..."

The Pirates of Penzance.

MAJOR-GENERAL: Have you ever known what it is to be an orphan?
PIRATE KING: Oh, here we go again! Often.
MAJOR-GENERAL: Yes, orphan. Have you ever known what it is to be one?
PIRATE KING: And I say, often.
PIRATES: Often!
MAJOR-GENERAL: I don't think we understand one another. I ask you if you've ever known what it is to be an orphan, and you say often. As I understand it, you are merely repeating the word 'orphan' to show that you understand me.
PIRATE KING: I didn't repeat the word often.
MAJOR-GENERAL: Pardon me, indeed you did.
PIRATE KING: I only repeated it once.
MAJOR-GENERAL: True, but you repeated it.
PIRATE KING: Yes, but not often!
MAJOR-GENERAL: Stop, stop. I think I see where we're getting confused. When you say orphan, do you mean 'orphan', a person who has lost his parents, or 'often', frequently?
PIRATE KING: Oh, I beg your pardon, I see what you mean. Frequently.
MAJOR-GENERAL: Oh, so you said 'often', frequently!
PIRATE KING: No, only once.
MAJOR-GENERAL: Exactly. You said 'often', frequently -- only once.

This depends entirely on the accents, of course.

2. "I don't mind if people talk rot in my presence, but it must not be utter rot."

Bertie Wooster says this -- I'm positive it's in The Code of the Woosters, probably with reference to Gussie (or Stiffy. or Sir Watkyn Basset. Or anyone, really), but I can't find a specific cite. It's very frustrating.

3. "Things would be so different if they were not as they are." (This usually goes hand-in-hand with "But if there was one thing circumstances weren't, it was different from what they were ...")

The main quote is from Anna Russell's Gilbert & Sullivan routine, in which she points out that a G&S hero always sings an aria in 6/8 time*, accompanying himself on a banjo or a mandolin or some other portable stringed instrument. Then she picks up a guitar and sings:

If you want to woo a fair maid,
You must concentrate on her papa,
If he doesn't like you,
Your chances are not worth a cent.
Things would be so different
If they were not as they are;
If I were more demanding
Or she were less obedient.

The subsidiary quote is from The Code of the Woosters; it's Bertie, in the car on the way to Totleigh Towers.

4. "You know, you got spunk. I hate spunk."

This is Lou Grant on the pilot episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show. It's the end of Mary's job interview; there's actually a sort of pause in there, long enough for Mary to start to say "Well, thank you, Mr. Grant," and then he interrupts her.

5. "It's plot exposition. It has to go in somewhere."

[horrified glances at jgesteve et al.] Dame Diana Rigg as Lady Holliday in The Great Muppet Caper -- admittedly the weakest of the original three Muppet movies, but how can you not love it?

LADY HOLLIDAY: [rambly monologue about her brother being a good-for-nothing]
MISS PIGGY: Why are you telling me all this?
LADY HOLLIDAY: It's plot exposition. It has to go in somewhere.

6. "We're not going to have enough road to get up to 88."

Chistopher Lloyd as Doc Brown in Back to the Future.

7. "Six thousand dollars? It's not even leather!"

Joan Cusack as Cynthia in Working Girl.

8. "I said no camels! That's four camels! Can't you count?"

Hee! Indiana Jones to Sallah in Last Crusade.

9. "No, just the pie, but then not heated."*

Ah. Meg Ryan as Sally in When Harry Met Sally ..., one of the best scripts ever. See below.

10. "I never wear shoes, because they make me fall down."

Hank Azaria as Agador(-Spartacus) in The Birdcage.

11. "Are you nuts? Are you some nutty nut-girl who's nuts?"

Josh Charles as Dan Rydell in Sports Night ("Eli's Coming", I think.)

*Also:

"You made a woman meow?" (Bruno Kirby as Jess)

"Look, if you ask me what a person looks like and I say she's got a good personality, that means she's not that attractive. But just because I happen to mention she's got a good personality, it could be either. She could be attractive with a good personality, or not attractive with a good personality."
"So which is it?"
"Attractive."
"But not beautiful, right?" (Billy Crystal as Harry and Bruno Kirby as Jess)

"Of course, when I asked her where she was when Kennedy was shot, she said, 'Ted Kennedy was shot?!'" (Billy Crystal as Harry)

"I want you to know that I will never want that wagon-wheel coffee table." (Carrie Fisher as Marie)

and, of course,

"I'll have what she's having." (Rob Reiner's mother as the lady in the diner [g])