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Ask a Manager: 2. My husband’s boss wants him to hire the boss’s girlfriend

This one was recently reposted but unfortunately I can't find the post. ( Read more... )

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Like a Luminous Girl - Mike Doughty (ha!)

Entry tags:

then i met you at the station in Ronkonkoma

Work today was a lot, but I got done everything I needed to get done and got out. There are stories I could tell but I'm too tired right now to rehash some of the nonsense my coworkers get up to.

Tomorrow, I am heading out to the island for Thanksgiving, and also to see Baby Miss L. She turns three on Monday! THREE! How is that even possible!? (I'm sure I will be posting the same exact thing on Monday.) But they are not having a family party for her, just a friends party, since she has so many friends now! She is quite the social butterfly! So I've packed up the books and clothes that are her birthday gift (and 1 toy - a magnetic tile thing she can build things with), and tomorrow she can open her presents! They go to my niece's in-laws for Thanksgiving (so they spend Christmas day with us), so I might not see her on the day itself, but that's okay I guess, especially if I get some time tomorrow. Plus, middle niece is going to stop by since she is working on Thursday (she's a nurse), so I will get to see her as well. All in all a good time, I hope!

If I don't get a chance to post tomorrow, I hope everyone celebrating has a Happy Thanksgiving! And everyone else has a great Friday Eve, also known as Thursday.

*

When the Moon Hits Your Eye in the Final Round for the 2025 Goodreads Choice Awards in Science Ficti

Posted by John Scalzi

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/25/when-the-moon-hits-your-eye-in-the-final-round-for-the-2025-goodreads-choice-awards-in-science-fiction-go-vote/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=58371

Well, this is lovely: When the Moon Hits Your Eye made it into the final round of this year’s Goodreads Choice Awards, in the category of science fiction, along with the other works you see here. This is a very nice peer group to have, I have to say.

If you feel like voting for Moon, or, indeed any other book in this finalist group, here is the link for you to do so. If you vote for Moon, hey, thanks! If you choose something else, that’s cool too.

I’m actually very happy with Moon making the final cut here. It’s an unusual sort of book, both structurally and in subject matter, and it wasn’t 100% clear to me that readers would take to it. Getting to this round is encouraging. Let’s see where it goes from here.

In any event: Go vote!

— JS

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/25/when-the-moon-hits-your-eye-in-the-final-round-for-the-2025-goodreads-choice-awards-in-science-fiction-go-vote/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=58371

Bolted! BACK TO LIFE on Kickstarter

Posted by David Malki !

https://wondermark.com/bolted-back-to-life-on-kickstarter/

https://wondermark.com/?p=18481

While my card game Bolted! is being prepped at the factory, there’s a little window of time here for an additional round of pre-orders!

If you missed the first round of preorders earlier this year, Bolted! is available again for a limited time. Reserve your copy now:

Bolted! on Kickstarter

I spent a ton of time on the promo video and I had a lot of fun! I hope you like it.

A couple of things worth highlighting:

Want this to be a holiday gift? The game won’t ship to backers until the spring, but all backers WILL get a downloadable certificate that you can wrap as a present, if you like!
I’ll be doing livestreams all month long, playing the game with some of my creative friends! The first one already happened – with Ryan North, Gillian Goerz, and Pat Race – and you can watch it here:

Upcoming scheduled livestreams include:

Wed Nov 26 • 5:15pm Pacific • Good As Hell Block
Sara McHenry (Your McHenries, Hey Pais)
Tom McHenry (Your McHenries, Horse Master)
Jess Fink (Chester 5000 XYV)
Eric Colossal (Rutabega the Adventure Chef)
Add event to your calendar
Mon Dec 1 • 12:15pm Pacific • Sickos Block
KC Green (Gunshow, Greatures)
Mattie Lubchansky (Boys Weekend, Simplicity)
Tom Harrison (Anime Sickos)
Add event to your calendar
Wed Dec 3 • 12:15pm Pacific • Webcomics Weekly Block
Dave Kellett (Sheldon, Drive)
Brad Guigar (Evil Inc, The Webcomics Handbook)
Kris Straub (Chainsawsuit, Local58)
Add event to your calendar

All livestreams will be at: twitch.tv/davidmalki

More are still TBD! I’ll be posting schedule updates on Bluesky!

If you have backed any of my previous Kickstarter projects, be sure to send me a DM and I’ll include a bonus card with your pledge for free!

(If you backed Bolted! on BackerKit earlier this year, the same offer applies! We should already have your details on file from that one!)

https://wondermark.com/bolted-back-to-life-on-kickstarter/

https://wondermark.com/?p=18481

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: nothing now

Narrative.

In folding laundry, I found I'd lost a wash cloth. In going down to the laundry room to check, I found the woman who only had bills, no quarters, hadn't seen it either. In talking her through my decision making process and to not waste an elevator trip, I take her up to my apartment with me to trade her a roll of quarters for the appropriate amount in small bills.

In checking what I'd already put away, I found the missing wash cloth.

One of those strings of events where I can't find it in myself to be upset about the inciting inconvenience.

Current Mood: tired

you kids get off my lawn

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DO NOT DISTURB THE POND WITCH

Posted by John Scalzi

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/24/do-not-disturb-the-pond-witch/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=58368

Man, the things you see at local parks.

— JS

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/24/do-not-disturb-the-pond-witch/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=58368

pumpkin basque cheesecake

Posted by deb

https://smittenkitchen.com/2025/11/pumpkin-basque-cheesecake/

https://smittenkitchen.com/?p=91810

It’s been 17 months since I first questioned whether anyone even needed another recipe for a basque cheesecake — the burnished, custardy and uncluttered kind that hails from San Sebastián, Spain — and concluded that in fact, I did.

I wanted one that was smaller, because I didn’t want to make a 2- to 3-pound commitment to cheese [which, honestly, sounds like a beautiful thing otherwise] every time the craving struck. A loaf pan was ideal for efficiency, portability, and easy slicing. A food processor allowed us to make the batter in just minutes, even if the cream cheese was cold from the fridge. A little cornstarch instead of flour enabled the cheesecake to be gluten-free, always a win.

https://smittenkitchen.com/2025/11/pumpkin-basque-cheesecake/

https://smittenkitchen.com/?p=91810

Fifteen Years

https://xkcd.com/3172/

https://xkcd.com/3172/

What the Department of Education’s ‘Professional Degree’ Proposal Really Means for Employers

Posted by Evil HR Lady

https://www.evilhrlady.org/2025/11/what-the-department-of-educations-professional-degree-proposal-really-means-for-employers.html

https://www.evilhrlady.org/?p=8012

There is a panic spreading across social media about the reclassification of many graduate degrees as non-professional, and how that could affect pay scales, as well as the amount people can borrow to pay for those degrees). If you’re an employer, the two questions you actually need answered are: “Do I have to reclassify anyone?” (no), and ‘Will this make it harder or more expensive to hire in certain professions?” Probably.

What the proposed change in ‘professional degree status’ means

The proposed changes to the U.S. Department of Education’s regulation on how graduate degrees are classified can be found here, if you’re inclined to read them. The thing people are concerned about is the split between “professional” degrees and regular “graduate” degrees. The One Big Beautiful Bill capped federal unsubsidized loans for both groups, but at different levels. These are the proposed regulatory rulings on how these changes will be implemented. The jobs themselves are not reclassified, as the DEO is using an old definition. The change is in the amount you can borrow.

In a press release, the Department of Education explained:

To keep reading, click here: What the Department of Education’s ‘Professional Degree’ Proposal Really Means for Employers

The post What the Department of Education’s ‘Professional Degree’ Proposal Really Means for Employers appeared first on Improve Your HR.

https://www.evilhrlady.org/2025/11/what-the-department-of-educations-professional-degree-proposal-really-means-for-employers.html

https://www.evilhrlady.org/?p=8012

(no subject)

Watch on YouTube

(no subject)

Dear Care and Feeding,

I’m 19 and in university. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, “Jason.” He’d been acting weird for a few weeks, but when I ended things, he completely flipped out.

It escalated to the point where he slipped into my family’s home, stole our cat, “Flibble,” and tried to hold him for ransom. We did get Flibble back, and Jason is now facing charges. I just want to put this all behind me.

My parents, however, are furious. They keep telling me I should “have better judgment” and promise I’m going to get an earful this Thanksgiving about “choosing appropriate partners.” I get it, this got bad. But Jason wasn’t showing signs of being unhinged when we first started dating, and I did break up with him as soon as he started acting erratically. Still, my parents chew me out every time we talk and have started calling two or three times a week specifically to lecture me.

It’s driving me crazy. I don’t want to block them or cut them out of my life, but I also don’t want to deal with this anymore. What can I do to get them to lay off?

—Stepped In It

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(no subject)

Dear Meghan: I have an 8-year-old daughter. She does not have a mother (my husband and I are both men). She doesn’t particularly like shopping for clothes, but she has a relative who keeps her very well stocked with jumpsuits, dresses and girly outfits of all kinds, which is the type of clothing she typically likes. In general, I let her decide for herself how to mix and match the various clothes she has each morning and will only step in if something is really inappropriate.

My mother, however, feels the need to criticize her clothing choices nearly every time she sees her. “Oh dear, you should never mix prints!” or “Why didn’t you wear a different shirt under that jumpsuit — it really doesn’t match at all!” My mother blames me for what she sees as my inability to teach a girl about girls’ fashion.

I told her that I had indeed talked about some of these rules, but I thought my daughter should also be able to make her own choices about how to dress. She then accused me of being a bad parent and suggested that I would also “give up” if faced with a child who stole or cheated on a test. Is it really so wrong to refuse to have a daily struggle because my daughter went to school with shorts that lightly clashed with her shirt?

— Grandma’s Criticisms

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(no subject)

Dear Meghan: My sons (5 and 6 years old, both mildly autistic) tend to wake up in the morning and as fast as they can dive into my husband’s and my bed for cuddles. They seem to get a lot of sensory satisfaction and a lot of comfort from this ritual. Their preference would be to cuddle with me or both of us for about 15 minutes until they’re all the way awake, then run off and do their own thing. I don’t mind this at all — I enjoy it somewhat, and I find that (as primary caretaker) their days and thus mine go much smoother if they have this cuddle in bed to start the day.

The problem is that my husband says it ruins his day to have his kids in his bed at all.

I have tried to be a physical barrier between him and them — doesn’t work. I’ve tried to not let them in until he’s already up and showering — doesn’t work. I’ve tried to go to their beds and cuddle them there — doesn’t work. I’m out of ideas.

What should I do?

( Read more... )

Current Mood: excited

Entry tags:

ficathon: dragon age poly exchange

Dragon Age Poly Exchange

The Dragon Age Poly Exchange went live today, and I got not one, not two, not three, not even four, but five amazing gifts this year. 💕

Moving in general chronological order...

First up is Guide me through the blackest nights, a DA:O fic focused on Jowan/Lily/Female Surana. 8,941 words. It's a canon divergence AU and, no spoilers, but the end is brilliant. "When the time came, Lily refused to take his hand. How could she after what he had done?"

Then there's Not Long Now, a DA:I time travel fic focused on Ameridan/Female Lavellan, Ameridan/Telana, and Female Lavellan/Solas. 764 words. "Mihris Lavellan already knows how this story ends..."

There's there's Not Too Late, a DA:V fic focused on Ashur/Nonbinary Mercar/Tarquin. 2,298 words. "The world is ending, Rook is dying, and Ashur, Tarquin, and Rook are forced to face their feelings for each other."

After that is An Innocent Start, a DA:V fic focused on Emmrich/Lucanis/Spite. 500 words. "Lucanis buys Emmrich a gift and contemplates the future with Spite."

And last but not least is psychopomp, a DA:V fic focused on Emmrich/Lucanis/Spite. Warning: Major Character Death. 1,175 words. "Emmrich passes but is not alone. Lucanis and Spite keep him company until the end."

Current Mood: tired

Adventures in bureaucracy

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Inlaws....

1. When I say goodbye to my mother-in-law, she frequently traps me in extended hugs. They often last longer than 15 seconds! During these hugs, she rattles off compliments that are probably well-meaning, but which I take as insults: She’s grateful that I’m a good cook for my husband, for instance, and that I keep our house so clean. My husband and I are both working professionals. We split the housework evenly, and I’m proud of that. My husband says that his mother’s comments are just her way of trying to connect with me. But is there a way to dodge her hugs? That’s when the so-called compliments begin.

DAUGHTER-IN-LAW

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2. Dear Carolyn: We are a very small family — just me, my older sister and my parents. Five years ago, my sister married into a very large family, and her in-laws host all the holidays. We’re always invited, but it’s never any fun for us. There are 20 of them together, talking and laughing, and me and my parents in the corner by ourselves.

I’ve honestly tried to join in, but they’re always talking among themselves about people I don’t know. I ask them about their lives, and they go on and on, but when it’s time for me to talk, I get either cut off or ignored. They try to be nice, but after the third or fourth attempt to answer a question, you can tell they don’t care about the answer.

So I’ve decided I’m not going for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. On Thanksgiving, some of my friends are meeting up for a hike in the morning, and then there’s a pub crawl later in the evening, and that’s enough holiday for me. I can order a pizza for dinner. For Christmas, I plan to have breakfast with my parents, open gifts and then kick back for the rest of the day while they go off to my sister’s in-laws’ house.

Even though my parents agree about the in-laws, they are telling me to suck it up and go for their sake. They and my sister are really upset with me, saying I’m going to ruin their holidays, hurt my brother-in-law’s feelings and not see my niece. I say there will be so many people around that my brother-in-law and niece won’t miss me, and I’ll see them both on Black Friday and then again on Christmas Eve, so it’s not like I’m missing out entirely.

Am I being selfish like they say? Don’t I have a right to enjoy my holidays, or do I have to suffer in silence?
— Anonymous

( Read more... )

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3. Dear Annie: My son got married about eight months ago, and while I truly do love his new wife, I admit I'm scratching my head over a few things. Maybe it's the times changing, or maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but it feels like I got a fourth child instead of a daughter-in-law.

When they come over for dinner, I do what I've always done: make a nice meal, fix everyone a plate and pass the rolls. I'll serve my husband, my boys and even the dog if he looks hungry enough. But my new daughter-in-law? She piles food on her own plate, sits down and tells my son to get it himself. My jaw nearly hit the mashed potatoes. He works all day to provide for her, and the least she could do is hand him a pork chop! Instead, I find myself jumping up to fix his plate while she's scrolling through her phone.

And the laundry, don't even get me started. Because they don't have a washer and dryer, she brings her clothes over, and somehow, I end up doing them. It's like my son got married, and I gained another load of towels.

Should I speak up, or just keep folding her laundry and praying she buys a washing machine? -- Lost For Words in Georgia

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4. Dear Annie: Hoping you can offer some advice! My son has been married for six years to a beautiful girl who rarely speaks to us and acts as though we don't exist. Her distance has gotten much worse over time, and we have no idea why. We love her and are just as kind to her as we are to our other kids and their wives. My husband and I are so sad. This has broken our hearts.

We haven't said anything because we don't want to upset our son, but lately even he appears unhappy with her attitude toward us. When we've referred to her as our daughter -- as we do our other daughter-in-law, who loves the title -- she'll say, "No, thank you. I already have a mom and dad." We've always felt as parents ourselves that you can NEVER have too many people to love your child, so we were quite hurt by that.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. She's so cold and distant toward us that even our friends and family have noticed and commented. We are good people, we stay out of our kids' business and we keep our opinions to ourselves. Our motto is, "If you want our thoughts, you'll have to ask for them." We don't meddle or cause waves ever, yet she continues to find ways to fault us for things. It's completely unsubstantiated, but it persists!

It's to the point I have so much anxiety that I've considered seeking out a therapist. This DIL is so unapproachable, so to avoid conflict, we just sweep EVERYTHING under the rug to avoid causing our sweet son any grief.

Please let us know if you have any advice. Our hearts are broken! -- Boy Momma

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Well, this is a new solution to the sandwich conundrum...

Everybody knows a hot dog is not a sandwich... it's a taco.

(Taken from the comments here.)

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(no subject)

My mother-in-law is always on a diet. Her house also happens to be where the family gathers monthly for meals. Lately, she has been serving lighter fare and no dessert so that she can eat more healthfully. We are fine with the lighter meals, but when we pushed back on dessert, she got upset and said we weren’t being supportive of her. These meals represent a tiny fraction of what she eats in a year, and I am frustrated that I have to compromise on dessert. (It doesn’t help that her diets are usually fads and not based in science.) Advice?

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I had the most amazing idea the other night

Just picture it: Tres leches... confetti cake.

(It turns out I'm not the only person with this idea, which just shows how brilliant it is!)

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( Read more... )