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I know my mother means well.
But damn, she can be discouraging.
In the world of floating-possible-ideas-for-what-to-do-if-grad-school-is-a-no-go, when I said "Or I might just chuck it all and move to New York and try to make a go of it as an actor," she didn't believe I really meant it. And the reason she didn't believe I really meant it was that she knows how much I hate waiting tables, and she knows how unlikely it is that any given out-of-work actor will suddenly be able to support herself as an actor, and she would have assumed I'd choose something more stable that involved at least health insurance, and she just doesn't want to see me go through what my father's best friend went through for ten years before giving up and getting a job in PR, and -- my god, the woman is the voice of doom!
And it's just a mark of how much I am her child that this conversation set me back as far as it did. Other naysayers, I can brush [edit -- shrug] off. Not Mom. Goddammit.
In the world of floating-possible-ideas-for-what-to-do-if-grad-school-is-a-no-go, when I said "Or I might just chuck it all and move to New York and try to make a go of it as an actor," she didn't believe I really meant it. And the reason she didn't believe I really meant it was that she knows how much I hate waiting tables, and she knows how unlikely it is that any given out-of-work actor will suddenly be able to support herself as an actor, and she would have assumed I'd choose something more stable that involved at least health insurance, and she just doesn't want to see me go through what my father's best friend went through for ten years before giving up and getting a job in PR, and -- my god, the woman is the voice of doom!
And it's just a mark of how much I am her child that this conversation set me back as far as it did. Other naysayers, I can brush [edit -- shrug] off. Not Mom. Goddammit.
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Seriously, Mothers are just wired to want their babies to have nice, safe, sane, sensible jobs, with regular paychecks and health insurance. Its a Mum's job.
On the other hand, *you* know what is going to work best for you. I, personally, think you'd be great in the theatre (I think all the hanging about on a movie set would drive you nuts, except maybe on an indie where the lag time is shorter, though the budgets are way smaller). You don't have to wait tables, you could work in a bookstore, freelance as a professional, design web sites, well, lots of things. Some even involving health insurance. And still be able to go to auditions.
Looking back from the age I am now, I wish I'd gone out on a limb more often. I don't know if that's right for you, but if you really want to try acting and/or directing professionally, for heaven's sake - go for it.
N
thanks. [hug.]
Poor Mom. It's true, what you say, that it's her job to Want What's Best For Us. Trouble is, when she gets in that groove and I get upset, then she's all sad because she made her baby cry. No way to win. And it just gives me a headache. [poking at poor sinuses]
This, on the other hand, is what I need to hear. Yes. Thanks.
Off to muse on (a) how Nansi, whom I've never met, can believe I'd be great in the theatre; (b) the prejudice that makes mom find one low-paying, unstable career Noble and Worthy, and the other Not So Much That Way (that's academia vs. theatre, both of which are career options that appeal to me).
Re: thanks. [hug.]
Well, I extrapolate. Your writing is extremely vivid and the dialogue rich, in a way that says to me, anyway, here is someone who has an artist's eye and ear. Also, very necessary traits in an actor or a director. Second, you have mentioned vocal training, working in theatre in college, and from Mrs. H, I know you continue to direct and be involved in the arts. Third, you have legal training and an attorney's mind - and anybody who says law isn't 2/3 theatre has never worked in the field.
Finally, you come from the kind of stable, loving home background that breed self-confidence in people, which is something else an actor needs in abundance. If for no other reason, than to be able to realize that casting decisions are often made on nothing more than drinking the wrong coffee before that person's audition or what shape somebody's nose is, but almsot never *personal* in the sense of actively disliking a hopeful.
As to the career thing, well - in our society there academia (well, at the college and post grad level anyhow) have a certain parental bragging cachet. "Oh, my daughter? Well, she's waiting to hear about tenure at Princeton," vs. "Oh, my daughter? Well, she had an audition the other day for one of the Shapes in the Tempest." Both Noble and Worthy, but the first one has health insurance and a certain snob appeal. The second has that potential, but only if you can say "Oh, my daughter? Well, Sir Richard Eyre wants her to do some Coward revival with Liam Neeson, but really - it isn't as though he's with the National any longer."
.