Heh. I appreciate how they look in some fonts and loathe how they look in others, including the default AO3 font as it appears on my phone. But APA says some screen readers may read straight quotes as "inch" and "foot" rather than as quotation marks (though other style guides are silent on the subject), and my colleague who handles accessibility for our documents at work says even as a sighted reader she appreciates the visual cue of the beginning and end of a quote, so I went ahead and smartened the quotes for the fic I am posting today at last - and I'll figure out how to skin the archive on my phone so I don't have to look at the font I don't like. Seems to be the best solution. :-)
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