general gymmy kind of stuff

[fox]

i don't think it's ever going to change: i don't like going, but i hate not having gone. so i have to get myself into that extra-stubborn frame of mind where damn it, i'm the one deciding whether i'm going or not, not my mood.

today wasn't bad. 20 minutes on the bike, 2.41 miles; three sets of 20 triceps pushdown thingies; two sets each of ten back extensions and sideways sit-up-type things on that thing where you drape yourself over it and brace your feet and raise your upper body using your lower back; 20 low and 20 high actual sit-ups; three sets of ten on a machine whose name i don't know, but i hadn't realized it was there -- it too involves pushing things down, because i'm all about the backs of my arms; and 1000 meters on the erg, with a 500m split of 2:33.4 (i think).

i'm getting to where i'm going to have to kick some of that up a notch, i think. i don't feel very tired, and -- especially after this weekend, which was quite the upper-body and cardio workout with all the sweeping -- i'm not especially sore. the thing is that i don't feel the need to be a lot stronger (well, i could use the upper body strength, but i'll come back to that in a minute); i just want to be fitter. if i go to a higher gear on the bike, will i be burning more calories and whatnot, or bulking up my quads (which are plenty bulky, thank you)? if i move up to more weight on the lifty things (actually the pushing-down things), won't the muscles get bigger? i don't want that. stronger is okay, but if they're going to change size i want my arms to be smaller. is the solution to stay at the same weight and just do more repetitions?

the thing is that i'm not unhappy, in general, with the way i look. i'm not delerious, because who is, but i'm doing okay. i'm reasonably healthy and well-proportioned, just on a slightly larger scale than some other well-proportioned people. and for that reason, i'm not awfully unhappy with my weight, either, even though for my height it's a little -- okay, probably quite a bit -- high.

i was discussing this with a friend last week, and it was revealed that i outweigh her by close to 50 pounds. we're the same height, and i'm at least a size smaller than she is -- two on the bottom, but possibly just one on the top. dudes. this makes me (as she said) a black hole.

and i'm not too concerned about that, except this: i can see it having consequences down the road for, like, my knees and my hips -- and (this is where i come back to the upper body strength) i can't, literally i can't, pull my weight. it was a good thing that ankle sprain wasn't worse than it was, last month, because holding myself up on the crutches was just not happening for more than an afternoon. the size my arms and shoulders would have to be to be able to handle the weight of the rest of my body -- i'd never be able to wear anything with sleeves ever again.

and that's emphatically not what i want. there are three specific areas i'd like to be less squishy than they are, and given +sleek/solid and -squishy i don't much care what size they turn out to be: the backs of my upper arms; the general circumfrence at hip level; and the insides of my thighs. in the hip region, i might just be doomed. the rest, i ought to be able to succeed with; but at the same time, see above, i feel like besides what there is of me being sleeker, more toned, whatever, it wouldn't be a bad thing if there were less of me all around.

i remember hearing once that the thing about dieting was that you lose muscle mass, which is (i guess) a bad thing. but for me it wouldn't be a bad thing at all -- i've got at least 70 pounds of muscle mass that i'd be delighted to lose -- but i don't want to convert the muscle mass into fat, is the thing. i just want to get rid of it. and that's what i don't know how to do, based on what i've learned from (a) the sports teams i've been on here and there and (b) being an american woman in the late 20th century.

so these are my thoughts on the walk home from the gym. (and now i'm late for my office hours.) in the meantime, though, i can tell that my metabolism is speeding up, which when you're me is always a good thing; and i can't quite tell for sure, but it seems that my clothes are fitting just a fraction of a shade looser than they were a little bit ago. (of course, the other thing is that my subconscious has it in its head that i'm going to keep going to the gym and not seeing much result one way or the other, and then one day i'm going to wake up and all my pants are going to be too big. yyyeah.) i'll have to settle for that, and think happy thoughts about how i'll turn handsprings if i can manage, ever ever ever, to fit into a size 10.

it won't happen. this rack (38D) will never fit in a 10. who am i kidding. but 12 could happen.

Comments

[wholenother.livejournal.com]

1. Body composition tests=good idea. However, they can mess with your head too (see item 2). And they're extremely interesting. I mean, the processes.
   
   
2. I know what you mean about the joints, being at the top of my ideal weight range according to the underwater and the other two tests (although I'm sure I've lost enough lean mass that I'm just out of the range) and over 20 pounds overweight according to height-weight charts/BMI "calculated" by comparing height and weight (what a joke!). When I had those tests done, my lean mass was actually around the bottom of my ideal weight by height-weight, which means I'd be just about dead if I got down to the bottom of the ideal weight for my height without losing lots more muscle than I ever want to lose. Now I'm an 8/10 pant with a gut that's the only thing keeping me from a 6 and, well, need to lose some, but not that much. So, like, which do you go for, the body comp number or the one the government suggests? I don't believe in listening to the government, but I keep thinking about the joints, too.... They don't care all that much (they do care some) about whether that extra weight is muscle or fat. So, anything you come up with, I'd love to hear.
   
   
3. That said, I can't imagine wanting to lose muscle. What's that like? I always want more muscles! Ooh! I want the arms of that woman in whichever Terminator movie it is where she's doing pull-ups. By the way, one of my coaches (who was trying to get us to do assisted pull-ups) pointed out to us that only a small percentage of people (and a smaller percentage of women than men) can do them unassisted. Likewise, crutches are difficult for just about everyone. So don't get too carried away with worrying about pulling (or lifting) your weight. Of course, if you have to be on crutches, it doesn't really matter if other people can't do it....
   
   
4. Also related to item 2 (it's all about item 2, apparently): please make sure you work on the sorts of muscles that help the joints do their job. You know, the things physical therapists give for rehab: they can help you avoid having to do the rehab.
   
   
5. Sleeves are overrated.
   
   
6. Triceps are the best! If you ever take up swimming, I'll show you some of the exercises we do for them (water exercises; I do my best to avoid drylands). One of my coaches recently pointed out that they aren't much used in regular life but they're essential to swimming, so we work on them pretty hard. Ouch. But, yeah!, that's one of the few things I'm good at! Ish. Whee! Speed!