so here i go again ...

[fox]

... unhappy.

not like the twenty or so hours i spent really mysteriously depressed in the spring (and yes, right out of the gate, this is me counting my blessings where i'm Noticeably Down so briefly and infrequently) -- this is more of a snarly-based unhappiness. also unlike the spring episode, i can put my finger on a number of causes for this, to wit:

PMS.

this is the first time i've had really unpleasant crankiness-inducing physical symptoms in years, and it's pissing me off. however, i do know (or i have no reason not to suspect) it will pass.

the toasting i took for having the gall to suggest that the dislike of RPF as a genre does not, ipso facto, make one a bad person.

have spent afternoon consoling self with the thought that i know i'm right, and thus those determined to deliberately misunderstand me are not worth worrying about -- but it's only been working about 70% of the time. fortunately, the kerfuffle seems to have died, or at least be dying, down. it was really more along the lines of being defrosted or caramelized than actually pan-fried or slow-roasted, but it's still not fun to be yelled at, particularly when some of those doing the yelling are people you consider (a) rational and (b) your friends.

the car.

have been living without AC in the car for four weeks. when i'm not in the car, this doesn't seem like a serious issue or a long time; when i'm in the car, it seems like the only serious issue, and eternity. finally took him in for surgery yesterday morning (nice of them to tell me when the parts came in, eh? NOT), and had to take a loaner for the night. no, check that: a dealership-subsidized rental, since their loaners were out or broken or who knows what.

i drive a volkswagen. he has a five-speed manual transmission, weighs a ton, and runs -- well, like you'd expect a german car to run. i've had him in the shop a few times, but this is the first actual mechanical problem he's had since i've owned him. the dealership, when they don't have loaners for people who deserve them, has an arrangement with the enterprise rental agency down the hill, which supplied me with a hyundai elantra. automatic transmission, no pickup, utterly devoid of personality, and the thing was "gold" (which is car for "tan or beige") with tan interior. i could feel this car sucking happiness out of me. being in it was just depressing -- and worse than driving it was the grim prospect of having to own such a car in the future, when i'll someday have to replace my present car and an automatic p.o.s. with no soul is all i can afford.

[eta: cmshaw drives an elantra, and she must have gotten one of the good ones. the difference between her maggie and this rental heap cannot be described in words.]

the latest newsweek has a short article with pictures from the set of harry potter y tu mama tambien --

-- and while the new dumbledore looks convincing, i'm beginning to despair for the intelligence of emma watson (bless her heart), and what i saw of the guy playing remus lupin looks downright ugly. i'm sure the girl isn't that dumb (and equally sure it doesn't matter), and i'm sure the guy is better looking when he's not in three-quarter profile six feet behind gary oldman in a photograph maybe two inches square -- but it didn't improve my mood.

etc.

actually, detailing it all has made me feel a lot better. maybe there's something in this journalling thing ...

Comments

[gloriana.livejournal.com]

Ooops. I hope therefore (having read this late - must have missed it on my friends list ??) that I haven't double-stirred it for you.

But yeah, in case you need an extra fillip, your post was utterly reasonable, polite and not at all worthy of the level of upset some people took from it.

Re the car - wanna swap for a manual Mazda? :) Oh, I love parking the damned thing, but I hate that all I think about when I'm driving is what gear I'm in and changing it, instead of all the other roady things I ought to be thinking of. Good luck with the repairs, though.

Per the pms, isn't old age weird? I think I've started pmsing a bit, after having spend years without the slightest hint of it. Luckily, this tends to take the form of complete inactivity and mild depression, rather than any physical symptoms or grouchiness.

And per Thewliss, yes, he's not pretty. But then, neither are Rickman or Oldman. And damn, Rickman is sexy (though ymmv), and if I remember rightly, Thewliss *can* act, although he'd have to be pretty good to hit either Rickman or Oldman's level. Do they have to be pretty to slash them? Often I look at some of the slash pairings, and know that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder :) At least he should have what it takes to bring the character alive, which is all I'm hoping to see.

But then, I'm an HP/SS shipper :)

Hope you're feeling better soon...