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okay, it has to be done.
The Pope is dying, and Frank Perdue is dead, so the stars are aligned and I must tell this joke I heard from my uncle when I was about eleven.
Frank Perdue goes to Rome for an audience with the Pope. "Your Holiness," he says, "I have a proposition for you. I will give the Roman Catholic Church one million US dollars if you have the world's Catholics say Give us this day our daily chicken instead of our daily bread."
"Are you crazy?" says the Pope. "I can't just change the words of the Lord's Prayer."
"A billion dollars," says Frank Perdue.
"It's not a matter of money," says the Pope.
"A billion dollars annually," says Frank Perdue.
"Well," says the Pope, "let me speak to the College of Cardinals and see what we can work out."
So the Pope goes to meet with the College of Cardinals. "Boys," he says (and my uncle especially loved that bit, the concept of the Pope speaking to the Cardinals like a board of directors in the back room in some film noir type setting) -- "Boys," he says, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is, Frank Perdue is going to give the Church a billion US dollars a year to change the words of the Lord's Prayer to Give us this day our daily chicken."
"But that's wonderful news," say the Cardinals.
"But," says the Pope, "the bad news is ... we lose the Wonder Bread account."
Frank Perdue goes to Rome for an audience with the Pope. "Your Holiness," he says, "I have a proposition for you. I will give the Roman Catholic Church one million US dollars if you have the world's Catholics say Give us this day our daily chicken instead of our daily bread."
"Are you crazy?" says the Pope. "I can't just change the words of the Lord's Prayer."
"A billion dollars," says Frank Perdue.
"It's not a matter of money," says the Pope.
"A billion dollars annually," says Frank Perdue.
"Well," says the Pope, "let me speak to the College of Cardinals and see what we can work out."
So the Pope goes to meet with the College of Cardinals. "Boys," he says (and my uncle especially loved that bit, the concept of the Pope speaking to the Cardinals like a board of directors in the back room in some film noir type setting) -- "Boys," he says, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is, Frank Perdue is going to give the Church a billion US dollars a year to change the words of the Lord's Prayer to Give us this day our daily chicken."
"But that's wonderful news," say the Cardinals.
"But," says the Pope, "the bad news is ... we lose the Wonder Bread account."
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((HUGS))
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That is priceless...wonder bread heeee...