a million canadian dollars?

[fox]

so this is something we were talking about the other night, and the song just came up on iTunes, so i was thinking of it again.

if the guy had a million dollars, he says, he'd buy the girl:

• a house
  
• some furniture (chesterfield or ottoman)
  
• K-car
  
• her love (x3)
  
• tree fort in yard
  
• little tiny fridge
  • which will be filled with pre-wrapped sausages, etc.
• fur coat (fake)
  
• exotic pet (llama or emu)
  
• John Merrick's remains
  
• limousine and driver (for trips to the store)
  
• lots of Kraft dinners
  • and fancy "dijon" ketchups
• green dress (also fake)
  
• some art (picasso or garfunkel)
  
• a monkey

now, correct me if i'm wrong, but all that stuff is going to run into more money than just a million dollars, yeah?  i mean, more than a million US dollars, so for sure more than U$850K.

maybe what he means is that he'll buy her one item from the list.  or that if he had a million dollars, he'd invest wisely and after some appropriate interval would be in a position to provide this inventory.

Comments

[parsnip.livejournal.com]

I'm sure it can be done, with just a few thrifty changes:

* a council flat
* some furniture (from Ikea)
* Go-cart
* her love (yeah, wtf?)
* wendy house in yard
* little tiny desktop fridge
o which will be filled with Tesco value reconstituted ham "slices"
* fake fur coat (from charity shop)
* exotic pet (stick insect)
* an unknown criminal from China's remains
* a mini-cab (for trips to the store)
* lots of Tesco value microwave dinners
o and HP ketchups
* green dress (by George at Asda)
* some studenty posters
* some sea monkeys

[tangleofthorns.livejournal.com]

Hee hee hee. You ought to price this stuff and see what it comes out to be.

[theferrett.livejournal.com]

I'll use my "The Price is right" vibe and claim that he probably could buy them all for less than a million dollars, except for the John Merrick's remains, which are probably unpurchaseable.

[thalia]

Depends where the house is, I think. If the house was, say, $200,000 US, everything else could probably be squeezed in. I don't know how much her love would cost, though. And I think he'd have to settle for something painted by Art Garfunkel.

[darthrami.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Given how their musical careers have gone since Simon & Garfunkel broke up, I'd bet he could get Art Garfunkel on the cheap.

But, yeah. Assuming a house in the 2-300,000 range, I think it's probably doable.

[anariel-di-gaia.livejournal.com]

Yay, I love the barenaked ladies, I want them to buy me a monkey!

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Now this has also been of concern to me. My view would be that the only way he could buy all of those things would be to move to Tasmania. Houses there are incredibly cheap (nice three bedroom home for less than 10K).

Now, when I was in San Francisco last time, I saw a nice Renoir sketch for 60K, so perhaps he could pick up a picasso sketch for less than 100K? He doesn't specify it's going to be a painting. Or, if he wants a Garfunkle, he could probably get an original sheet music for less than 20K.

John Merrick's remains were destroyed a long time ago, so again, he'd have to go fake with those (like the fur coat and the green dress), which would be cheap.

In Tasmania, an Emu, you could get for next to nothing.

Now I think once you've reduced those big ticket items thus, you can still get everything for less than a million dollars.

As long as her love is cheap, of course.

These are the important questions in life.

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm with everyone on the "Depends on how cheap the house is, and the cost of John Merrick's remains".

The love, of course, is different.

[decarnin.livejournal.com]

Depends on where you shop. It doesn't say *original* Picasso; her love would be free, presumably; so might John Merrick, and the Kraft dinners are pretty cheap... Get you a $350 house like they advertise on those foreclosure come-ons on tv and hey. You're halfway there.