to clarify

[fox]

The more I think about it (which is to say, when I can't help it), the more I blame my supervisor.  If I'd tanked the exams, fine, that'd be my own fault, although I'd have had a decent case to make that I should be allowed to resit them because of the whole dead-grandfather thing.  But the thesis, man, how do we have meeting after meeting and report after report to my college and I never get the impression that he thinks it's dangerously weak?  Is this not why we have supervisors?

If the other examiners overruled him, then -- well, then I'll still think he's fallen down on his job, but less in a screwing-me kind of way.  But tomorrow when I go to see him, I sure hope he realizes he's got some 'splaining to do.

(For the record:  this is not the second stage of grief, although I previously didn't want to talk about it and am now angry.  I base this assessment on the fact that when they told me, I was intially shocked and almost disbelieving, and then I was angry and upset, and then I asked if there was any way I could redo, rewrite, etc., etc., anything to change their decision, and then I came away.  In short:  had them all while I was still in the room.  I've bought sturdier boxes to pack in, because what is sufficient for storage is not sufficient for shipping.  I am, in short, fine.)

Comments

[ccr1138.livejournal.com]

You're so right. This should NOT have come as a surprise. I'll be interested to hear what he has to say for himself.

And grief is not a linear process, unfortunately.

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

As recently as three weeks ago or so, he told me he was saying in rec letters for jobs I was applying for that he had every confidence I'd be here in the fall (which was a reasonable thing for him to reassure the hiring people on, since I was about to finish a degree so would they necessarily want to hire someone who might not be around to take the gig), so there's a very real chance that he didn't agree. I mean, the options as I see them are (a) that he's out of touch, (b) that he's angry on my behalf, or (c) that he lied to me or in some other way let me down. I prefer to go to sleep tonight thinking (b), knowwhatImean?

[ccr1138.livejournal.com]

Yeah, totally.