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Entry tags:
imbalance
Something may be really wrong with me, y'all. You've seen the rotten mood I've been in the past couple of days -- not like there's much that's new about that, I guess, except that I normally just don't like people very much; I don't normally have this kind of hatred in my heart. (I have recently described myself as a "friendly misanthrope", and I think that's actually shockingly accurate.)
And then today I really thought I was doing better. The thing at work wasn't my fault when it wasn't going well, and it got done anyway, and there weren't too many people around, and that was fine. I made a miscalculation w/r/t when the paycheck was coming in vs. when the visa bill was going out, but I can take one day of red ink as a reminder not to get above myself. That didn't ruin my mood at all. I even left a little early and smiled at everyone on the way out.
So I was kind of surprised when, having arrived at Whole Foods for the half of my errands I didn't do yesterday, and having gone in through the in door, to be met by a woman with a cart coming out through the in door, she physically stopped me as I was scooting by her and scolded me not to break her flowers, which I pointed out I was nowhere near, and she said yes I was, and all I could do was push past her (not so much as touching her flowers) and point out that this was the in door -- actually, none of this is the surprising thing. The surprising thing was that it was half an hour ago, and it cost me about fifteen seconds, which I had to spare so wtf, and I am still FUMING. I wouldn't actually ever follow her through the parking lot and deliberately throw her flowers on the ground and stomp on them, or even rip their little flower heads off, but I would, and I'm a little sorry I didn't, say WELL IF YOU ARE GOING TO INSIST ON EXITING THROUGH THE ONLY DOOR THAT OPENS FROM THE OUTSIDE, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO GET OUT OF THE WAY OF PEOPLE USING IT AS AN ENTRANCE, AND THEN YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR UGLY FUCKING FLOWERS, AND GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
I broke out a square of the chocolate I'd just bought when I got to the car, because I felt sure a little instant blood sugar couldn't hurt, and I felt a little better, but I was still angry all the way home and hit the horn unreasonably hard at the IDIOT in front of me who started to go when our light turned green and then stopped again, so it's not the thing where we get impatient with people who take longer than we'd like to get their foot off the brake and onto the gas -- not that he didn't deserve the horn, mind, but I should have done the "ahem" horn and not, you know, hurt my hand smacking the thing.
A little better now, but honest to god, where did the extreme spike of fury come from? I'm not actually joking about something possibly being wrong. Not ready to call someone yet, but I do want to have all this written down in case the mood doesn't even out when the holidays are over (or it doesn't turn out to be because![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ellen_fremedon isn't here to act as a foil, because normally she is here, and next to her I'm a ray of bloody sunshine).
And then today I really thought I was doing better. The thing at work wasn't my fault when it wasn't going well, and it got done anyway, and there weren't too many people around, and that was fine. I made a miscalculation w/r/t when the paycheck was coming in vs. when the visa bill was going out, but I can take one day of red ink as a reminder not to get above myself. That didn't ruin my mood at all. I even left a little early and smiled at everyone on the way out.
So I was kind of surprised when, having arrived at Whole Foods for the half of my errands I didn't do yesterday, and having gone in through the in door, to be met by a woman with a cart coming out through the in door, she physically stopped me as I was scooting by her and scolded me not to break her flowers, which I pointed out I was nowhere near, and she said yes I was, and all I could do was push past her (not so much as touching her flowers) and point out that this was the in door -- actually, none of this is the surprising thing. The surprising thing was that it was half an hour ago, and it cost me about fifteen seconds, which I had to spare so wtf, and I am still FUMING. I wouldn't actually ever follow her through the parking lot and deliberately throw her flowers on the ground and stomp on them, or even rip their little flower heads off, but I would, and I'm a little sorry I didn't, say WELL IF YOU ARE GOING TO INSIST ON EXITING THROUGH THE ONLY DOOR THAT OPENS FROM THE OUTSIDE, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO GET OUT OF THE WAY OF PEOPLE USING IT AS AN ENTRANCE, AND THEN YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR UGLY FUCKING FLOWERS, AND GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
I broke out a square of the chocolate I'd just bought when I got to the car, because I felt sure a little instant blood sugar couldn't hurt, and I felt a little better, but I was still angry all the way home and hit the horn unreasonably hard at the IDIOT in front of me who started to go when our light turned green and then stopped again, so it's not the thing where we get impatient with people who take longer than we'd like to get their foot off the brake and onto the gas -- not that he didn't deserve the horn, mind, but I should have done the "ahem" horn and not, you know, hurt my hand smacking the thing.
A little better now, but honest to god, where did the extreme spike of fury come from? I'm not actually joking about something possibly being wrong. Not ready to call someone yet, but I do want to have all this written down in case the mood doesn't even out when the holidays are over (or it doesn't turn out to be because
ellen_fremedon isn't here to act as a foil, because normally she is here, and next to her I'm a ray of bloody sunshine).
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[takes pity]
Re: [takes pity]
Thanks for the link! Those look amazing!
Re: [takes pity]
So I've baked the other two in a 15x9 cookie sheet with a waxed paper barricade built up two inches from the edge-- they turned out fine-- and crumbled up the pieces of the third layer and mixed them with all of the jam (warmed but not strained). The crumbs and jam merged into something that ought to be a decent filling between the other two layers, once it's had time to set. I hope. *crosses fingers*