first parenting dilemma

[fox]

I have the opportunity to go to China for two weeks in March.

Himself can't really come with—he wouldn't be able to work—and in any event Blanziflor won't be fully vaccinated by then, at the age of not quite four months.

Part of me really wants to go. Another part doesn't know if I'll be okay being away from my four-month-old for two weeks. Your thoughts welcome.

Comments

[kass]

Do you yet have a sense for whether you plan to try nursing, or to bottle-feed with formula? Most kids aren't eating food yet by four months (I don't think we tried Z on solids until at least 4 months, possibly closer to 6), so your ability to be apart from Blanziflor may have something to do with whether or not you are the sole food source.

If you are the sole food source, you will want to ensure that B learns how to eat from a bottle as well so that your absence doesn't mean the food stops altogether. :-) I went to Vividcon when Z was about 9 months old and although I pumped assiduously while away, he got miffed with me and when I got home he refused to nurse. Fortunately by then he was eating lots of other things.

At four months in, I think we were still sleeping in 90-minute bursts. Granted, we had a particularly rough go of it, given Zaphod's colic and my postpartum depression, so our experience is probably not typical! But when Z was four months old it was all I could do to drive three hours to Boston; I would not have been capable of international travel. That said, you may have an entirely different experience. :-)

For what it's worth, in general I am in favor of moms taking time away, whether for work travel or for fun travel. Because if we are not happy and engaged and sane, then we cannot parent. But I would also say: give yourself permission to say no, either now, or right before the trip happens, if you need to. You will have just gotten through the "fourth trimester" and there is no telling what life will look like then.