return to Due South: season 1 episode 6 "Chinatown"

[fox]

Chinatown
air date October 27, 1994

Scene 1

Fraser, Vecchio, and Diefenbaker are walking in Chinatown.

VECCHIO: You want your soggy chop suey, go to the 'burbs. Down here, it's the real deal. Fish heads, bird's nest soup, shark fins so fresh they're still swimming in the bowl. But you gotta act like a regular, otherwise they stick you with yesterday's mu shu.
FRASER: Well, I'll just follow your lead, then.
VECCHIO: Yeah, just try not to hold the menu upside down.

They are about to go into a restaurant when Fraser sees a sign on the door.

FRASER: Oh, dear. Ah, you see that sign? That includes you. [Diefenbaker growls.] No, no, no. You can't take that attitude. It's a health regulation. There's a very good reason for it.
VECCHIO: Yeah, you stink.
FRASER: Ray, please. He's already feeling excluded.
VECCHIO: Well, he should feel excluded. He's an animal. [Diefenbaker whines.]
FRASER: Well, there you go, now you've done it. Satisfied?
VECCHIO: Strangely, yes. [Fraser opens the door and holds it for him.] Thank you.
FRASER: You're welcome.

Diefenbaker whimpers and lies down on the pavement in front of the restaurant.

Sixty-seven words of dialogue and Vecchio has managed to be rude to people who live in the suburbs, people who operate Chinese restaurants in the suburbs, people who operate Chinese restaurants downtown, Fraser, and Diefenbaker. Nice work, buddy.

Scene 2

In the restaurant. Fraser and Vecchio are the only patrons.

VECCHIO: How could you be out of bird's nest soup? There's gotta be one in every tree.
RESTAURATEUR: The won ton soup is excellent.
KITCHEN GUY: I'm going to take a break, Dad. [He nods.]
VECCHIO: All right, look, just give us a couple of orders of mandarin duck, willya?
RESTAURATEUR: Sorry. No duck.
VECCHIO: How about a chili dog?
FRASER: Uh, Ray, may I?
VECCHIO: Yeah, go ahead, Benny, but it's in Chinese.
FRASER: Yes, so I see.
VECCHIO: And try not to order anything with internal organs, willya?
FRASER: Uh . . . [speaks Cantonese].
RESTAURATEUR: [delighted] [speaks Cantonese].
FRASER: [speaks Cantonese].
VECCHIO: How did you do that?
FRASER: I just went with the specials.

I do not speak Cantonese; I can't make even a reasonable stab at transliterating what they are saying here. My sister-in-law and her mother supply the following:

FRASER: 第一, 第四, 和菜, 白飯, 豆豉醬
daih6 yat1, daih6 sei3, woh4 choi3, baahk6 faahn6, dauh6 sih6 jeung3
Number one, number four, special set menu, white rice, bean paste

RESTAURATEUR: 多谢哂, 多谢哂
do1 jeh6, jeh6
Thank you very much

That's not as many syllables as either of them says, but I'm going to assume (a) Fraser's accent was so atrocious they couldn't work out what he was trying to say after the bean paste thing and (b) the restaurateur's "sai" was a sentence-ending particle. Anyway, I think the last thing Fraser says is 唔該, m4 goi1, which is a please/thank you hybrid as I understand it.

Meanwhile, Vecchio continues to cover himself in Orientalist glory. Internal organs? One in every tree? Oy vey.

Scene 3

In the restaurant kitchen. The kitchen guy, the restaurateur's son, is speaking to a woman.

KITCHEN GUY (RESTAURATEUR'S SON): [speaks Cantonese].
WOMAN: [angry] [speaks Cantonese].
RESTAURATEUR'S SON: [appealing to his father] [speaks Cantonese].
WOMAN: [even angrier] [speaks Cantonese].
RESTAURATEUR: [trying to make peace] [speaks Cantonese]. [The son walks away. He passes another kitchen buddy, who looks up at the restaurateur.] [speaks Cantonese].

The kitchen buddy nods and follows the son. They go down the stairs into the alley behind the restaurant.

RESTAURATEUR'S SON: No, he, ah, worries too much.
KITCHEN BUDDY: [speaks Cantonese].
RESTAURATEUR'S SON: I know, I know.

In-laws to the rescue:

YOUNG MAN: Ma, 我出去. 我担心佢地
Ma, ngoh5 cheut1 heui3, ngoh5 daam1 sam1 keuih5 deih6
Ma, I'm going out. I'm worried about them.

MOTHER: 唔准去, 問過你爸爸先
mhhun4 jeun2 heui3, mahn6 gwo3 neih5 bah4ba1 sin1
You're not allowed to go out, ask your father first.

YOUNG MAN: [Even my native-speaker source couldn't catch this, but I believe I can confirm he calls his father "Baba," which is about the extent of my knowledge of this language]

FATHER: (to mother) 由得佢去; (to kitchen guy) 你跟住佢出去
yauh4 dak1 keuih5 heui3; neih5 gan1 jyuh6 keuih5 cheut1 heui3
Let him go; you follow him out

They said the kitchen guy's line at the bottom of the stairs was unintelligible.

Scene 4

FRASER: My grandparents helped set up an English language library in China before the revolution. And they taught me the Cantonese and Mandarin dialects when I was little. But I'm afraid I've forgotten almost all of the Fuchow and Amoy-Swatow that I knew.
VECCHIO: Oh, yeah, I hate when that happens.
FRASER: You think he's all right?
VECCHIO: Who?
FRASER: Diefenbaker.
VECCHIO: He's a wild animal!
FRASER: He didn't look all right.

Fraser's use of dialect to describe Cantonese and Mandarin is a little problematic. The varieties of language represented by written Chinese are generally not mutually intelligible. They are often called dialects, even by native speakers, possibly for political reasons—in my limited experience of diaspora native and heritage speakers, a Mandarin speaker is more likely (a) to use "Chinese" to mean "Mandarin" and (b) to refer to Cantonese, Taiwanese, etc. as "dialects" than a Cantonese speaker is to do either of those things; make of that what you will—but/so many linguists, including the ones who taught me, believe it is more correct to classify them as languages even though China is one country. (Insert the comment here often attributed to Max Weinreich: A shprakh iz a dyalekt mit an armey un flot—a language is a dialect with an army and a navy.)

But it is probably accurate to have Fraser use dialect, because he'll have learned from his grandparents in the 1960s, and they will have learned in China in or before the early 1940s; the revolution in question is probably the Chinese Communist Revolution, so "before the revolution" could have been any time from about 1920 to about 1945, depending how you count. We don't know if these grandparents were Bob Fraser's parents or Ben Fraser's mother's parents; we don't actually know anything at all about Ben's mother except that she was gone from Ben's life before Bob died. Bob was born around 1932, though, so whether Ben was raised by his paternal or maternal grandparents, let's figure they will have left China by around 1930. And before that they lived there long enough to learn Mandarin, Cantonese, Fuzhou, and Swatow well enough to teach it to their grandson in some sort of meaningful way more than 30 years later? Impressive.

Scene 5

On the street, the restaurateur's son and his kitchen buddy pass by a random person being nice to Diefenbaker.

RANDOM PERSON: Now who would go off and leave a nice dog like you? [gives him a treat] Ooh, a nice cookie?

In the dining room, the restaurateur and an employee are putting plates of food in front of Fraser and Vecchio.

RESTAURATEUR: [speaks Cantonese].
EMPLOYEE: [speaks Cantonese].
RESTAURATEUR: [speaks Cantonese].
EMPLOYEE: [speaks Cantonese].
RESTAURATEUR: [speaks Cantonese].

The dishes are apparently 四 (sei3) ho (didn't get the character for that), 炒飯 chaau2 faahn6, 豆豉醬 dauh6 sih6 jeung3: the fourth one, fried rice (noodles), bean paste. So evidently they had already put down "number one" and this sequence begins with "number four," which they are calling "fourth one"—and there are two more things after the bean paste that we don't know what they're talking about.

Scene 6

The restaurateur's son and his kitchen buddy are still walking. The kitchen buddy stops to talk to a girl and the son carries on alone. A fancy car drives up, and the guy in the passenger seat rolls down his window.

GUY IN THE PASSENGER SEAT: Got a light?
RESTAURATEUR'S SON: Sure.

He hands him a book of matches. The guy in the passenger seat lights his cigarette and then deliberately drops the matches out the window rather than handing them back.

GUY IN THE PASSENGER SEAT: Oops. Sorry.
RESTAURATEUR'S SON: [unimpressed] No problem.

He bends down to pick up the matches, and the guy in the passenger seat opens the door hard into his head. He falls back onto the sidewalk, and the guy in the passenger seat and a guy from the back seat hop out, grab him, and load him into the back of the car. As it pulls away, we can see that its license plate is obscured.

GUY IN THE PASSENGER SEAT: Go, go.
RESTAURATEUR'S SON: Let go of me!

He continues to struggle; he kicks out the rear passenger window of the car.

In the restaurant, Fraser hears the glass breaking and hears someone scream.

FRASER: Glass.
EMPLOYEE: Certainly. [puts a drinking glass in front of him]
FRASER: Excuse me. [He leaves the table, puts on his hat, and goes to the window.]
VECCHIO: Oh, no, Benny, not the window! I don't think they have doors in Canada. [grabs his coat]

In the street, the speeding car is blocked by a delivery truck. It does a massive K-turn and speeds back the other way. Fraser climbs out the window. Diefenbaker jumps at his new friend and knocks him out of the way before the car hits him. Fraser climbs down awnings and lands on the sidewalk, rolling one way and immediately rolling the other way before the car can hit him. Vecchio and the restaurateur have come down the stairs and out the front door of the restaurant.

FRASER: Ray! Kidnapping! Call for assistance!

He takes off running. The car speeds down an alley and around a corner and gets away, so naturally Fraser climbs a fence to get to a rooftop.

VECCHIO: Unit three-four-two requesting backup.

Fraser climbs a fire escape, takes off his hat, closes his eyes, and cups his ear to listen carefully. He hears, or remembers hearing, some sounds of the car getting away: the wheels going over seams in the road, a splash in a puddle, the squeal of tires. He considers this and puts his hat back on before coming down again.

Back in front of the restaurant, the restaurateur, the woman, and the kitchen buddy are talking amongst themselves.

VECCHIO: English. Speak English.
FRASER: Who was it?
VECCHIO: Nobody saw anything.

The restaurant folk all go back inside.

Among the restaurant folk's dialogue is 我都話叫你 ngoh5 dou1 wah6 giu3 neih5 "I already told you . . ."

The "glass" gag is sort of amusing. I'm not sure why we needed Diefenbaker's new friend. And I'm with Vecchio: I don't know why Fraser had to jump out the window rather than run down the stairs.

Credits roll.

Paul Gross
David Marciano
Beau Starr
Daniel Kash
Tony Craig
Catherine Bruhier

(plus Lincoln the dog)

Lu Yu, Joel de la Fuente, Alex Carter, and Tsai Chin

That "and" credit is on account of Tsai Chin was a big deal—from being the first Chinese student ever to study at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in the 1950s to starring in The Joy Luck Club in 1993.

Scene 7

In front of the restaurant, Gardino is examining unfamiliar fruit at a produce stand.

GARDINO: So you were sitting up there when this supposed crime took place . . . where?
FRASER: Approximately thirty-five meters south-southwest.
HUEY: And you saw this from across the room, through the pagoda, and around the corner, right?
FRASER: No, I heard it.
HUEY: You heard it.
GARDINO: You heard it.
HUEY: Tell me, Fraser, what exactly does a kidnapping sound like?
FRASER: Well, in this case, there was the sound of a foot breaking glass. This was followed by the scream of a female bystander and then the squeal of tires as the vehicle pulled away from the curb.
HUEY: And did you happen to hear a license plate number, too?
FRASER: No, no. The license was obscured by mud.
GARDINO: You know what we have here, Jack? Another case of speeding with a dirty license plate.
HUEY: Damn! This city's going to hell.
FRASER: I did find this. Whoever it was who was kidnapped must have tried to escape through the rear window. I believe you'll find that's human blood.
HUEY: Ah, someone nicked themselves while driving.
GARDINO: This case keeps getting worse and worse.
FRASER: Mm-hmm.
VECCHIO: Okay, the owner says he didn't get out in time to see anything. Likewise everyone else on the block.
HUEY: So: No witnesses, no victims, no evidence. You know what this sounds like, Louis?
GARDINO: A UFO sighting?
HUEY: I'm afraid so. It's all yours, Vecchio.
VECCHIO: You guys going back to the doughnut shop so soon? Yeah, thanks for your fine police work.
HUEY: Thank you, Vecchio.
VECCHIO: Okay, have you humiliated me enough for one night, or do we need to cruise the neighborhood so you can smell out a robbery?
FRASER: No, I think we're still needed here, Ray. The kidnappers are bound to make contact sooner or later.
VECCHIO: With who? We don't even know who was kidnapped.
FRASER: No, but I will wager that Mr. Lee does.

They go back inside the restaurant.

FRASER: Did you notice the restaurant next door?
VECCHIO: Yeah, it was packed, so what?
FRASER: Well, based on the menus displayed in the window, Mr. Lee's prices are cheaper by half, and yet his restaurant sits empty on a Saturday night.
VECCHIO: Yeah, well, if he stocked up a little better, he'd have a fighting chance.
FRASER: But no restaurateur would allow his key ingredients to be depleted, at least not willingly.
VECCHIO: So you think he's being squeezed.
FRASER: Yes, I do.
VECCHIO: Look, it's a mom-and-pop establishment. There's no money here. Who would bother?
FRASER: Well, I don't know. But whoever it is, I think they just raised the stakes.

Scene 8

The restaurateur, Mr. Lee, is in the kitchen on the phone.

RESTAURATEUR (MR. LEE): Where's my son?
BAD MAN (ON THE PHONE): My people tell me he has been kidnapped. I was shocked, certainly, but not surprised. For some time now there has been talk of drugs, of gambling debts unpaid —
MR. LEE: Those are lies.
BAD MAN: Of course, but let us keep to the issue at hand. As you know, I have the resources to find your son. I offer to do this and return him to you. [He is pacing around a room in the background of which Mr. Lee's son is restrained, his mouth duct taped.] In return, I would ask a similar favor. You will stop the lies you are spreading about me in the community, and you will demonstrate your respect for us by accepting the reasonable and generous business offer we have made to you in the past. Do this and I will find your son for you. [hangs up]
WOMAN: Will you please give him what he wants?
NEIGHBOR: You cannot do that.
MR. LEE: He has my son.
SECOND NEIGHBOR: He'll come for ours next. If you give in to him —
NEIGHBOR: You are the one who told us to stand together when the Tong came to our neighborhood. If you give in, we all go down.

They all look up at the knock on the door.

FRASER: Mr. Lee? I'm terribly sorry to intrude.
MR. LEE: Excuse me?
FRASER: It was your son they took, wasn't it?
MR. LEE: [to the neighbors] We will speak later, my friends. Good night. [The neighbors leave.]
FRASER: I wasn't able to see the occupants clearly, but one of them was wearing kitchen whites.
VECCHIO: Your son — he never came back from his break.
MR. LEE: Thank you for your concern, but whoever this unfortunate boy is, there is nothing you can do for him. You do not realize what will happen to him if the police get involved. The Tong makes the law down here.
FRASER: I don't think you believe that, Mr. Lee. And if you give them what they want, they'll take it, and they'll still betray you.
MR. LEE: Perhaps. But this boy's father may not have any choice but to trust they will keep their word.
FRASER: There's a wise Chinese expression: "Under the fragrant bait you will find a hooked fish."
MR. LEE: I cannot help you. Please, go. [Fraser and Vecchio leave the kitchen.]
VECCHIO: "Under the fragrant bait you will find a hooked fish?" Do you have any idea what you're saying? You sound like a fortune cookie.

Vecchio does a 180 and objects to Fraser telling a Chinese man about Chinese wisdom. Well observed, Vecchio.

Scene 9

Fraser and Vecchio are on their way down the stairs and out of the restaurant.

VECCHIO: What did I tell you? Talking nice gets you nowhere. These people come from a culture that only responds to strength.
FRASER: That's a cultural stereotype, Ray.
VECCHIO: Yeah, look who's talking.
FRASER: Mr. Lee heard what I had to say. Now he'll make his choice.
VECCHIO: Yep, and that's the last you'll see of him.

Aaand he immediately skids back the other way. I'm not sure there's any good way to end a sentence that begins "These people come from a culture that only . . .". (I'm not sure there's any good way to end a sentence that begins "These people . . .".) As it happens, I'm not sure "only responds to strength" is a cultural stereotype I've heard about China? But that's entirely beside the point.

However, "That's a cultural stereotype"/"Yeah, look who's talking" is very funny.

Scene 10

At the police station. Mr. Lee is in an interrogation room with Fraser and Vecchio.

FRASER: It's all right, Mr. Lee. Just take your time.
MR. LEE: For years, the Tong ignored our neighborhood, concentrating on the more prosperous merchants of Chinatown. Then Charlie Wong came to town.
VECCHIO: Heard of him. Heard he's hungry.
MR. LEE: He wanted to make a name for himself. I told him to get lost, and I encouraged my neighbors to do the same. That's why he took David.
FRASER: He didn't actually say he has your son, did he?
MR. LEE: He's not a stupid man.
FRASER: Well, you did the right thing in coming to us, Mr. Lee. We will find your son.
MR. LEE: Yes.
VECCHIO: Okay, now I want you to tell us as close as you can remember exactly what he said to you on the phone. [Huey and Gardino come in without knocking.]
HUEY: Gentlemen. I hear Mr. Lee is prepared to make a statement.
VECCHIO: Good going, Jack. See what happens when you take the doughnut holes out of your ears?
GARDINO: Pack it up, Vecchio. [He tosses Vecchio his dictaphone.] You called us in. It's our case. [to Fraser] You — out. [to Mr. Lee] You — stay put. [He sets down his own dictaphone.]
VECCHIO: No, [to Huey and Gardino] you out, [to Fraser] you stay put. [shoves Gardino his dictaphone, puts his own on the table]
GARDINO: Touch this again, I'll toss you out.
FRASER: Perhaps we should all step out.
NEW GUY: Good idea. [Two more guys have come in without knocking.] Agents Ford and Dieter, FBI. We're taking over the case. [Dieter shows everyone his FBI badge, knocks Gardino's dictaphone off the table, and puts down a bigger tape recorder.]
GARDINO: Hey! I just bought that.

Scene 11

In Welsh's office. Vecchio, Huey, Gardino, Ford, and Dieter are all yelling.

WELSH: All right — one at a time.
NEW GUY (FORD): Kidnapping is a federal offense. There is no discussion here.
HUEY: Lieutenant, they just can't walk in and kick us off our case.
VECCHIO: It's not your case, it's my case.
HUEY: Yeah, right, Ray.
FRASER: Ah, sir, perhaps I can be of assistance.
FORD: Who's he?
WELSH: He's a Mountie.
FORD: What's he doing here?
WELSH: I'm never entirely sure.
FRASER: Lieutenant, I understand your dilemma. In Canada, we have more than a passing familiarity with confusion. We're comprised of ten provinces and two territories communicating across six time zones in two official languages. The English don't understand the French, the French don't understand the English, and the Inuit quite frankly couldn't give a damn about either of them. Added to the equation is the Assembly of First Nations, with a total of six hundred and thirty-three separate Indian bands speaking one hundred and eighty subdialects among their fifty linguistic groups. And as if that weren't enough, there are some fisherman on the east coast with a remarkably whimsical accent —
WELSH: There is a point to this, I assume?
FRASER: Oh, yes, sir, I believe so. The key that we have found is in compromise. I would suggest we devise a plan that would use everyone to the best of their abilities.
FORD: This man knows nothing about police work. Get him out of here.
WELSH: Ray, please?
FRASER: I thank you for your time.

Fraser and Vecchio go back out to the bullpen.

MR. LEE: It is settled now. You will help my son.
FRASER: The FBI is on the case now, Mr. Lee. They'll help you.
MR. LEE: But I don't know those men. Can I trust them?
FORD: [coming out of Welsh's office] I want wire taps on the restaurant and on the home phones. And I want background checks on everyone in the restaurant, including the victim. Oh, and I want two of our best people undercover in Chinatown. Get McClusky and O'Hara.
DIETER: Roger.
FORD: [to Mr. Lee] You the kid's father? In here.
FRASER: [as Mr. Lee heads toward Welsh's office] Put your trust in the law.

So in the grand tradition of TV local law enforcement, in come the feds and they're way worse than anyone you don't get along with in your own department. Definitely the best people to put undercover in Chinatown are likely to be named McClusky and O'Hara, right? Although there we go again with the cultural stereotypes. We assume McClusky and O'Hara are Irish guys or at least of Irish extraction and therefore probably pasty white, maybe with red hair and freckles, is that it? No chance either of them could have an Irish father and an Asian mother? Or be Asian guys adopted by Irish-American families? (I admit I am thinking here of Kal Penn's character on House, and the time he was talking to House or Thirteen or someone about his bio family. "I'm an Indian guy named Kutner. Ever wonder what happened to my parents?") Let's not leap to conclusions. . . . But it's not a great look for the feds.

Mr. Lee is pretty concerned that he doesn't know the feds for a guy who's only known Fraser for an hour and a half. Of course Fraser came in and spoke his language to him (with a terrible accent, but still), which probably helped a lot.

I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping is a federal offense if you cross state lines. If they've taken David Lee to Gary, Indiana, fine, but there is in fact a crime of kidnapping in the Illinois statutes, and Agent Ford is full of crap.

Because Fraser brought it up, here are the Canadian time zones.

Zone 1, which includes the Yukon and British Columbia, is Pacific time (GMT-8). Zone 2, which includes the Northwest Territories, Alberta, and parts of Nunavut and Saskatchewan, is Mountain time (GMT-7). Zone 3, which includes parts of Nunavut, all of Manitoba, and a slice of Ontario, is Central time (GMT-6). Zone 4, which includes parts of Nunavut, most of Ontario, and most of Quebec, is Eastern time (GMT-5). Zone 5, which includes Newfoundland (but not most of Labrador), New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island, and Nova Scotia, is Atlantic time (GMT-4). Zone 6, which includes the Labrador peninsula and a slice of the mainland, is GMT-3.5. (I don't know these half-hour time zones, man.) Depending how you prefer to consider them, zone 1A either has year-round daylight saving or is in Mountain time but does not observe daylight saving; Saskatchewan, except for that little carve-out two-fifths of the way up on the left, either has year-round daylight saving or is in Central time but does not observe daylight saving; zone 3A and apparently two cities in western Ontario either have year-round daylight saving or are in Eastern time and do not observe daylight saving; and zone 5A either has year-round daylight saving or is in Atlantic time and does not observe daylight saving. . . . I don't know about you, but I make that 10 time zones, not six.

It looks like the Assembly of First Nations is one of at least two organizations of Indigenous Canadians, the other being the Congress of Aboriginal Peoples, and the question of who is represented by which (or both or neither) is much more complicated than I'm going to attempt to address.

I am an editor, so I'm entirely qualified to tell you that Fraser should have said "our country comprises ten provinces" etc. or "our country is composed of ten provinces" etc. rather than "our country is comprised of". Tsk.

Scene 12

VECCHIO: Are you nuts? The kid is done for. The FBI guys couldn't find Waldo if they took the book home for the weekend.
FRASER: I said trust in the law, Ray. That doesn't mean we can't give the law a leg up.
VECCHIO: Attaboy, Benny, now you're talking. So where do we start?
FRASER: In here. [He goes in a door. Vecchio follows him.]
VECCHIO: Benny? This is a closet.
FRASER: I know.
VECCHIO: How long we sitting here? Well, you see, I have this thing about the dark. I mean, I mean I've dealt with it. I'm comfortable with it. I mean I mean it's not like I'm afraid of the dark. [Diefenbaker barks.] Hey! No, no. Three in a closet is where I draw the line.
FRASER: Would everyone please settle down? I'm trying to listen.
VECCHIO: To what?
FRASER: Shh. [He remembers some swishing sounds.] I'm not certain, but it sounds like dooshh, dooshh. What does that sound like to you?
VECCHIO: How about the sound of my job going down the toilet? I'm sitting in a dark closet with a Mountie being licked by a deaf wolf. . . . That was the wolf, wasn't it?
FRASER: Yes, Ray.
VECCHIO: Oh, thank God. So what the hell are we doing in here anyway?
FRASER: I'm re-creating the sounds of the kidnapping in my mind. The noises the limo made after it sped out of sight. If I can piece these noises together, it should lead us to David Lee. [He remembers some more sounds.] There. There we go.
VECCHIO: What is it?
VECCHIO: I think it's a clunk. No, no, wait a minute. [remembers sounds more carefully] It's a thud. Definitely a thud.
FRASER: But what does it mean?
FRASER: It doesn't matter what it means. All that matters now is to remember.

Elaine opens the closet door. Diefenbaker runs out.

ELAINE: Hi.
VECCHIO: Hi.
FRASER: Hi.
ELAINE: I saw you guys come in here.
FRASER: Ah, well, we were just, um . . . have you ever heard of a sound that goes dooshh, dooshh?

Elaine leaves without another word. Fraser and Vecchio come out into the hallway.

VECCHIO: No more listening in closets, okay?
FRASER: I'm sorry, Ray.
VECCHIO: Is it strictly necessary to humiliate me every step of the way? I mean, is it necessary?
FRASER: Ray. Ray. Please. I can't have the both of you sulking. [turns to Diefenbaker] Well, are you coming? [Diefenbaker turns and goes the other way.] You know — you, you let a wolf save your life, they make you pay and pay and pay . . .
VECCHIO: That's why I don't own a wolf.

Again with the internalized homophobia from Vecchio, but I think it is fair for Elaine to wonder what the two of them are doing in a literal closet. I think she probably should have knocked, though; it was clear she was opening the door to see what they were up to rather than because she actually needed any supplies. Meanwhile, Fraser being in a pissy snit with Diefenbaker is hilarious.

Scene 13

Huey and Gardino are walking down the hallway.

GARDINO: I don't like this, Jack. I feel dirty.
HUEY: There's no time for scruples, Louis. We've got to get back on this case.
GARDINO: I hate these FBI guys. Why would I want to help them?
HUEY: Because that's how it works. We scratch their backs, they scratch ours.
GARDINO: They broke my tape recorder.
HUEY: Louis, try to grasp this concept. A Mountie and a badly dressed Italian are solving more cases than we are. Our image is tarnished, our caseload had slipped, and I spend more time plucking out gray hairs than I do with my tailor. We need a break.
GARDINO: I know that, Jack. I've got a tailor, too, you know.
HUEY: So think. We need in with the feds here. What's the one thing they want most in this case?
GARDINO: To get the credit?
HUEY: Exactly. So we help them get the credit and we keep some for ourselves. All right?
GARDINO: All right.
HUEY: You cool?
GARDINO: Yeah.
HUEY: Good.
GARDINO: Yeah, I'm cool.

Interestingly, it's usually Gardino who's the hothead and Huey who's a little calmer and more reasonable. I'm a little surprised that Gardino is the one who feels like working with the feds is crossing a line (although it is true he's nursing a grudge about his dictaphone). Bold of Huey to identify Vecchio as "a badly dressed Italian" right in Gardino's face, though, isn't it? As if Gardino were some sort of fashion plate himself?

Scene 14

Fraser and Vecchio are headed to Vecchio's car.

FRASER: Well, the car that was used in the kidnapping. What was it?
VECCHIO: Lincoln Town Car. Late model.
FRASER: Is that a common car to Chicago?
VECCHIO: Nah. There couldn't be more than five thousand of them.
FRASER: Do you think we can get a manual?
VECCHIO: Yeah.

They get in the car. Fraser puts his hat on the dashboard and very carefully locks the door as Vecchio starts the car and drives off.

Locking the car door is a tiny detail that amuses the hell out of me for some reason.

Scene 15

In an interrogation room. There is a knock at the door and the feds let Huey and Gardino in.

FORD: Do you know what this is?
HUEY: No.
FORD: It's a bug. You know how to plant one?
GARDINO: What do you think?
FORD: I think you're morons. But do it right and we'll bring you in for the kill.

Gardino takes the bug, and he and Huey leave the room.

HUEY: Louis. He just called you a moron.

Scene 16

Vecchio is driving slowly through Chinatown alleys while Fraser walks.

VECCHIO: This is exactly what I was afraid would happen.
FRASER: Ray, please.
VECCHIO: You cannot track a Lincoln Town Car through the streets of Chicago. It's not like a beaver. It doesn't leave nice little tail tracks in the tundra. [The wheel of his car splashes in a puddle in a pothole.]
FRASER: Wait.
VECCHIO: What is it?
FRASER: [remembers the sound of the kidnappers' car wheels splashing in a puddle in a pothole] We've picked up their trail.
VECCHIO: Why do I feel more and more like Dale Evans? Hey, Roy, wait for me! [He follows Fraser in the car.]

Dale Evans was married to Roy Rogers (another classic TV reference from Vecchio), which is a surprising parallel to draw given Vecchio's wiggins about having spent time with Fraser in the supply closet and his refusal to exchange body heat to save their lives in the industrial freezer. I've never watched The Roy Rogers Show; did Roy solve crimes? Was Dale his sidekick?

Scene 17

Fraser and Vecchio are still tracking the Lincoln Town Car.

VECCHIO: I thought you said it was a clunk.
FRASER: No, it was more like a thud, accompanied by a kh-kh-kh-kh and followed by a tschhhhh.
VECCHIO: Spend a lot of time alone as a child, Fraser?
FRASER: Yes. What is this?

Bird's-eye view: it is another pothole with scrape marks around it.

VECCHIO: It's a pothole.
FRASER: [remembering more kidnappers'-car noises] This is it.
VECCHIO: How do you know?
FRASER: Look at this.
VECCHIO: Yeah, it looks like where a tailpipe might have hit.
FRASER: And these?
VECCHIO: Two tire tracks. But if this is the Lincoln, it doesn't look like it laid much rubber.
FRASER: Well, maybe the tire didn't have that much left. What does the manual say about the wheel base?
VECCHIO: [checks the manual] Seventy inches.
FRASER: [wields a tape measure] What's the distance from the tailpipe to the left rear wheel?
VECCHIO: Thirty-three inches.
FRASER: This is the car. And they turned right.
VECCHIO: Oh, great, so now we know the Lincoln turned right before it disappeared into thin air. Is this what you call a hot trail up in the north country?
FRASER: Look at this.
VECCHIO: What is it?
FRASER: Mud.
VECCHIO: Mud. You found mud. Now that is something amazing.
FRASER: The license plate was intentionally obscured. Now, this piece must have fallen off when they hit that bump. You see this? This could be the negative image of a three.
VECCHIO: Yeah, or a five, or an eight. In other words, we're nowhere, the trail is over, and we got zip.
FRASER: Not necessarily. What does it smell like?
VECCHIO: Mud.
FRASER: But what else?
VECCHIO: Mud and fresh towels?
FRASER: Exactly.
VECCHIO: What are you doing? [Fraser is breaking up the mud in the puddle.] That's the only piece of physical evidence we have, and you're destroying it.
FRASER: Well, the mud isn't the evidence we need, Ray. This is. Do you see these white flecks?
VECCHIO: Yeah, so?
FRASER: Watch this. [He swishes his hand in the water; suds come up.]
VECCHIO: Soap!
FRASER: How many laundries are there in this area?
VECCHIO: Fraser, this is Chinatown.
FRASER: And how many laundries are there directly on the river?
VECCHIO: The river?
FRASER: This is fine-grained, alluvial mud. It's only found close to a river bank. Do you have your phone?
VECCHIO: Yeah. [He dials.]
ELAINE: Hello?
VECCHIO: Elaine.
ELAINE: Uh-huh.
VECCHIO: Yeah, Vecchio. How many Chinese laundries are there right on the river bank?
ELAINE: Why? You two having trouble squeezing into a booth?
VECCHIO: Elaine.
ELAINE: You know, occasionally, just occasionally, you might want to consider doing your own grunt work instead of foisting it off on me without so much as a word of appreciation.
VECCHIO: Okay, I appreciate you, Elaine.
ELAINE: Eh, who cares.
VECCHIO: Elaine, we really appreciate you.
ELAINE: Really?
VECCHIO: The laundry, Elaine?
ELAINE: Yeah, here we go. Looks like there's only one. Two-one-nine-three-A China Place. Sho Ma Laundry.
VECCHIO: Thanks, Elaine.

In the interrogation room, Huey, Gardino, and the feds are listening to this bugged conversation.

GARDINO: [to Huey] And they called you a moron.

Huey and both feds look at Gardino in disbelief.

Oh, Elaine. Fraser has not been interested, which is all the information you need; it doesn't matter why! Whether he'd rather go out with another woman, a man, his dog, or no one at all, the important thing is that he does not want to go out with you. There's no sense being mad that you found him and Vecchio in the closet. Jealousy is never a good look. I'd also say your whole job appears to be to do the detectives' grunt work, so no, making them do it themselves Just Occasionally doesn't make a lot of sense; but (a) she's right that she does deserve to be appreciated, and (b) she does immediately get the white pages down and start doing what Vecchio asked even as she's snarking at him, so.

Huey and the feds seem to be looking at Gardino like he's an idiot because they think they called him, Gardino, a moron; but in fact they called both of them morons.

I don't think my car manual specifies its dimensions to quite the precise degree this one apparently does. Wheel base, sure; distance from tailpipe to left rear wheel, no.

Look how matter-of-factly Fraser acknowledges that he spent a lot of time alone as a child. He doesn't react as if it's a surprising question, but he also straightarms it right back at Vecchio; it's not important to him whether Vecchio was trying to tease him or what, because he absolutely did spend a lot of time alone as a child, and what of it?

Scene 18

Fraser and Vecchio arrive at the Sho Ma Laundry.

VECCHIO: You know what we're going to find in there? Six old ladies playing mah-jongg.
FRASER: Maybe. [He stops to be interested in some spilled white powder on the ground.] Maybe not.
VECCHIO: Soap.

They go in the unlocked back door. Vecchio has his gun drawn. They rush through another interior door.

VECCHIO: Police! Freeze! [No one is there. They move through some more empty areas.] So much for your mud and soap theory.

They come to a table littered with abandoned Chinese food cartons.

FRASER: Whoever kidnapped David Lee was here last night. At least four of them. And they bound him in duct tape. [He looks up at the ceiling.]
VECCHIO: What is it?
FRASER: Listen.
VECCHIO: Oh, Benny, not again.
FRASER: Shh-shh-shh. [Now they both hear something.]
VECCHIO: Back! [They move toward the back of the building and see someone running outside.] Front door! [They look out the front of the building. Guys are moving around a truck.]
FRASER: Across the street.
VECCHIO: Since when do thugs start wearing flak jackets? [Some of those thugs are armed.] Oh, no!

There is a burst of an incendiary device and lots of automatic gunfire. Fraser and Vecchio dive behind crates. The place gets shot up for a wee while.

FORD: This is the FBI. You are surrounded. Throw down your weapons.
VECCHIO: Oh, great!

Scene 19

In the bullpen at the police station.

VECCHIO: What kind of idiot are you? You eavesdrop on my phone call, you blast in there with assault weapons. Everyone in Chinatown knows we're on the case.
FORD: Whose fault is that, Detective? This is a federal investigation. You were specifically instructed not to interfere.
FRASER: Lieutenant, David Lee and his kidnappers were in that building. The tire tracks in the alley confirm this, and there's more evidence inside. Now if we can just gain access to —
FORD: No! This is a crime scene. I will not have unauthorized personnel entering that —

Mr. Lee and the woman from the restaurant rush in.

MR. LEE: Where is he? My son? You have found him?
FRASER: No, I'm afraid not, Mr. Lee.
MR. LEE: But all the police. The shooting.
FORD: Look, uh, Mr. Lee, we're sorry to disappoint you, but things like this happen in the course of an investigation. So if you'll just take your wife and go home, please?
MR. LEE: I see. Nothing to be concerned about. My son is in the hands of the killers, and I should go home and wait for you to shoot up some other places.
FORD: We're doing everything we can, sir. He's hysterical, get him out of here.
DIETER: He's on his way in.
FORD: Good. Take him up to interrogation.
VECCHIO: Who? Take up who?
MR. LEE: You come into Chinatown. You bring the police, FBI. What do you think will happen when Charlie Wong hears of this? What do you think he will do to my son?
FORD: We will deal with Mr. Wong.

The bad man who spoke to Mr. Lee on the phone goes by the squad room on his way up to interrogation. The woman (Mrs. Lee) sees him and is horrified.

WOMAN (MRS. LEE): No! No!
VECCHIO: Charlie Wong? Are you crazy? The victim's still out there and you bring in his kidnapper?
FORD: As you pointed out, Detective, all of Chinatown already knows we're involved. It's time to take the bull by the horns.
WELSH: He's right. You're an idiot. [Ford leaves the squad room.]
MR. LEE: [angry at Fraser] You've done this to me. You've killed my son. [He and his wife leave.]
VECCHIO: This is what you get for trying to help someone?
FRASER: No, he's right.
VECCHIO: You didn't blow up Chinatown. The feds did.
FRASER: But I led them there. I did this. [He leaves guiltily.]
VECCHIO: [goes into Welsh's office] I need this one, sir.
WELSH: Come on, Detective. You know I can't do that.
VECCHIO: The fed's a horse's ass. He's gonna blow this.
WELSH: It's his investigation. Look, maybe I can make a call, maybe we'll have him replaced —
VECCHIO: The kid'll be dead by then, sir. I need this one.

Vecchio slams his hand on Welsh's desk and then slams out of the office.

Vecchio has previously gone off-piste with Fraser on cases nobody else wanted or that Welsh didn't want investigated at all. (Vecchio himself didn't actually want the Willie Lambert case.) I think this is the first time he's specifically asked Welsh to take a case away from someone else and give it to him.

Scene 20

Vecchio finds Fraser in the hallway looking out a window.

VECCHIO: Come on.
FRASER: Where?
VECCHIO: I have this room I go to when I need to close my eyes and listen. [It is the men's room. Someone is in there flossing.] Out.
FLOSSER: But I was, I was just —
VECCHIO: Trust me. There are things a lot more painful than gum disease.
FRASER: That's not very polite, Ray.
VECCHIO: You like that? You're going to love this. [He knocks a pipe loose, and they can hear Agent Ford speaking to Charlie Wong in the interrogation rom.]
FRASER: We're eavesdropping, aren't we?
VECCHIO: I'll make sure they take your merit badge away later.

They listen to the conversation taking place in the interrogation room.

BAD MAN (CHARLIE WONG): [clipping his nails] The police cannot distinguish between Chinese and Japanese, let alone an honest Chinese from a dishonest one.
DIETER: I don't think there's much doubt which category you fall into, Charlie. Where is David Lee?
CHARLIE WONG: I hear he's been abducted.

In the men's room, Fraser hears something.

FRASER: What's that?
VECCHIO: What?
FRASER: It sounds like, uh, tck tck —
VECCHIO: Will you stop that?

Back in the interrogation room.

CHARLIE WONG: I offered to help his family in any way I could. Unfortunately, the situation appears to be out of my control.
FORD: I think you underestimate yourself, Mr. Wong. I think you know exactly where David Lee is. And I think you're just the guy to tell us.
CHARLIE WONG: Why do you think that, Agent Ford?
FORD: Because if you don't, we're going to invoke the RICO Act, raid your place of business, seize your assets, and shut you down.
CHARLIE WONG: So I should be frightened. Even though you have absolutely no evidence which would connect me to the unfortunate disappearance of this young man.
FORD: Kidnapping is gravy. All we need is evidence of racketeering and threats of extortion, and we can take every penny you've made since kindergarten.
CHARLIE WONG: I don't doubt your zeal, Agent Ford, but if you had such evidence I don't think you'd be sitting here explaining the RICO Act to me. You would have acted.
FORD: You've given us our evidence, Mr. Wong. You laid it right in our laps. You threatened the wrong shopkeeper, Charlie.

In the men's room, Fraser is skeptical.

FRASER: He can't do this.

In the interrogation room, Ford is still speaking.

FORD: He was just downstairs. What do you think he was doing, huh? Mr. Lee's willing to testify to your conversation, and racketeering puts you away for twenty. Now, you kill his son, and it only makes him a stronger witness.
CHARLIE WONG: You have no witness.

Another federal employee rushes into the interrogation room.

FED: Mr. Wong's lawyer.
WONG'S LAWYER: This is a writ of habeas corpus ordering you to release Mr. Wong immediately. Let's go, Charlie.
CHARLIE WONG: Gentlemen.

In the men's room, Fraser is anxious.

FRASER: He just killed them both. [He rushes out. Vecchio replaces the pipe before following him.]

I am, as I have said, not a lawyer. Neither, I think, is Agent Ford, so he's not the one who decides whether Charlie Wong is indicted under RICO, but never mind. Based on my extremely inexpert understanding of the RICO Act, I thiiink the rest of what Ford says is not bullshit? Except that Charlie Wong is almost certainly right that if they had any evidence they wouldn't talk about it, they'd just do it.

I don't know what expertise with U.S. federal law prompts Fraser to claim "He can't do this" w/r/t Ford threatening Charlie Wong with Mr. Lee's testimony. I believe FBI agents are totally allowed to lie to witnesses and suspects whenever they damn please. So Ford can indeed do this. Of course if Fraser means "He will ruin everything if he does this," that's a ballgame of a different sort.

I'm pretty sure you don't need a writ of habeas corpus to get your client out of a police station if he's not under arrest. Again, not a lawyer! But I'm pretty sure that if you're not under arrest then you're not under arrest and you're free to go whenever you please. And that a writ of habeas corpus gets you out of prison if you've been imprisoned unjustly. Unlawful arrest and detention isn't covered, but in any event, Charlie Wong hasn't been arrested, so the habeas corpus thing is just silly.

Scene 21

Mr. Lee sees Charlie Wong, his lawyer, and one of his toughs leaving the police station.

MR. LEE: I'll give you what you want. Give me back my son.
CHARLIE WONG: [to his lieutenant] [speaks Cantonese]. [The lieutenant pats down Mr. Lee for weapons and nods. Charlie Wong nods to him and the lawyer, and they step away.]
MR. LEE: Please.
CHARLIE WONG: I don't understand, Mr. Lee. Yesterday you were prepared to sacrifice your son for your pride. I offered you my protection, my help. I extended my hand in friendship, and you spit on it. And now you betray me to the police.
MR. LEE: Forgive me. I'll give you anything you ask.
CHARLIE WONG: Too late.
MR. LEE: No.
CHARLIE WONG: Where is your pride now, old man? You want to do something for your son?
MR. LEE: Yes.
CHARLIE WONG: Give me what I deserve. A simple show of respect.
MR. LEE: Anything.
CHARLIE WONG: My office. One hour. [He goes to get in his car and then does a Columbo.] And Mr. Lee — be sure to walk. All of your neighbors must see you pay respect to the man who will save your son.

Charlie Wong gets in the back seat, his lieutenant in the front. Mr. Lee is scared but determined. Mrs. Lee is by the door to the building, having seen all this happen.

In-laws to the rescue:

CHARLIE WONG: 即刻睇下有無位
jik1 hak1 tai2 hah6 yauh5 mouh4 wai2
Immediately go and see if there are empty seats

They weren't sure about this without the context—I only sent the tiny clip with the single line of dialogue—so I'm going to gloss that as "Make sure he doesn't have anything in his pockets."

That Charlie Wong, what an asshole.

Scene 22

Vecchio and Fraser are in the interrogation room where the feds were talking to Charlie Wong. Fraser is on the floor with a piece of paper and some tweezers.

VECCHIO: Fraser, what are you doing? Fraser! Will you get off the floor? Fraser! Okay, that's it. I'm not going to stand here and watch while you eat hairballs off the floor.
FRASER: Oh, it's not those, Ray. It's these. Nail clippings. That's the sound Charlie Wong was making.
VECCHIO: Oh, that's too bad, 'cause I though you had something really incriminating, like his nose hairs.
FRASER: It's not the nails we're interested in, Ray. It's what's underneath them.
VECCHIO: Fraser, this guy wears two thousand–dollar suits, okay? He's not going to walk around with dirt under his nails.
FRASER: Well, exactly. Which means anything we find had to have been collected since he showered this morning. [He starts tasting the nail clippings.]
VECCHIO: No, no, oh, don't do that! Don't, don't, don't! [He turns away and puts his hands up to block his view.]
FRASER: Just close your eyes, it won't bother you.
VECCHIO: Okay, just hurry up, willya? [Fraser tastes. Vecchio peeks through his fingers like a kid watching a horror movie.] Well?
FRASER: Potassium nitrate and a touch of sulfur.
VECCHIO: That's gunpowder.
FRASER: Not ordinary gunpowder. It's very low grade. It's not like anything I've ever tasted.
VECCHIO: Do you do this a lot? Try to solve cases by gnawing on ammunition?
FRASER: Well, I admit, it is a calculated risk, Ray, but — I am a professional. This is not for amateurs.

They leave the interrogation room. Diefenbaker walks by with a uniformed officer.

FRASER: Hello. [Diefenbaker ignores him.] Hello? Hello? [He can't believe it.] You pay and you pay and you pay . . .

Mrs. Lee is waiting outside the squad room.

MRS. LEE: Charlie Wong. My husband is planning on going to him. To humble himself. To get the release of our son. I love my son. He's all we have. But I trust a snake not to bite before I trust Charlie Wong.
VECCHIO: Where are they meeting?
MRS. LEE: There's a club near the end of our street. Wong and his people use it as if it is theirs. One hour from now.
FRASER: Thank you.
MRS. LEE: I want my family back.

Well: If Fraser wasn't already on your side, telling him "I want my family back" is a good way to get him there, am I right? Mrs. Lee wanted her husband to give Charlie Wong what he wanted, a night or two ago. I guess her calculus changed when the police got involved, as his did.

I like that Fraser is starting to lose patience with Vecchio's squeamishness about his tasting things. In the pilot it was "I'm sorry, Ray," and in "Manhunt" it was licking the gum wrapper and ignoring Vecchio's discomfort, and here we are with Fraser telling him just don't look, then. Progress! And then absolutely deadpanning at him with "I am a professional." Love it.

Scene 23

Fraser and Vecchio are on the way to Vecchio's car.

VECCHIO: Are we gonna stop him?
FRASER: If he doesn't show up, Charlie will kill his son.
VECCHIO: And if he does, he'll kill them both.
FRASER: Yes. So that gives us forty-five minutes to find David.
VECCHIO: How? We don't even know where the hell we're going.
FRASER: I think we do.

They get in the car and are driving through Chinatown.

VECCHIO: Firecrackers? Sorry, Fraser, not good enough.
FRASER: Why not? It's gunpowder, it's low grade.
VECCHIO: In case you didn't realize, Mr. Mountie, you cannot buy, sell, or manufacture fireworks anywhere in the city of Chicago.
FRASER: That is, unless you have a license to exhibit. City ordinance section fifteen-dash-twenty.
VECCHIO: You read that?
FRASER: There's a world of information at your local library, Ray. You still there, Elaine?
ELAINE: Three. Quan Liu and Yellow Dragon Fireworks, both on the south side, and Lucky Day Pyrotechnics on Barrington.
FRASER: Thank you kindly, Elaine.
VECCHIO: Yeah, thanks, Elaine.
ELAINE: Uh-huh.
VECCHIO: Your call.
FRASER: We'll try the one on Barrington.
VECCHIO: That's right in Charlie Wong's backyard. You actually think he's going to keep the kid there?
FRASER: He's there. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
VECCHIO: Another wise Chinese guy?
FRASER: No. Robert Fraser, my father.

See, I feel like if Fraser were deadpanning this, he'd be looking at Ray when he said it. There's something different about the line delivery; I feel like he's sincere. Which means Bob Fraser did say "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer" (although look where that got him), and Ben Fraser has somehow never learned that that line wasn't his. But how can he not have heard of Sun Tzu, given (a) the world of information at his local library and the fact that his grandparents (b) were librarians and (c) taught him no fewer than four Chinese languages? I'm pretty tore up about this one.

Scene 24

Huey, Gardino, and the feds are listening to the bug in Vecchio's car.

VECCHIO: Barrington. It's just ahead on the left.
GARDINO: Got him.

They head out to do whatever it is they're going to do. Diefenbaker sees them go and hurries out himself.

Why, oh, why did Vecchio not comb his car and debug it after scene 19?

Scene 25

Mr. Lee is getting ready for his meeting with Charlie Wong. Music cue: "Prospero's Speech" by Loreena McKennitt (and Shakespeare).

Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
And what strength I have's mine own.

Mr. Lee is sitting at his desk. He opens a beautiful carved rosewood box, then opens his desk drawer.

Which is most faint; now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you.

Mr. Lee takes out a gun wrapped in fabric. He looks at it for a moment, makes sure it is loaded, and then puts it in the box.

But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails,

Mr. Lee leaves his restaurant, carrying the box in both hands like an offering. His neighbors see him and one by one go inside.

Which was to please.
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,

Fraser and Vecchio are driving toward the fireworks place.

And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,

Mr. Lee is still walking toward his meeting.

Which pierces so that it assaults

Fraser and Vecchio arrive at the warehouse.

Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free.

One of Lee's thugs is leaning against a motorcycle reading a newspaper. Fraser and Vecchio come up behind him; Vecchio puts a gun to the back of his head.

VECCHIO: Where's the kid?
THUG: You're a cop. You won't shoot me.
VECCHIO: I'm not that good a cop.
THUG: Upstairs. At the back.
VECCHIO: How many?
THUG: Two. [Vecchio digs with his gun.] Three.
VECCHIO: [pushing the thug ahead of him] Ladies first.

The three of them go up the fire escape.

Mr. Lee arrives at Charlie Wong's office and knocks on the door.

As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free.

Inside the club office, Charlie Wong is on the phone with someone at the fireworks warehouse.

CHARLIE WONG: Give me five minutes, then come down and get him. Leave the bodies in the alley. I want them found.
GUY GUARDING DAVID: You got it. [to David] You want to start smoking, now would be a good time.

There is a knock at the door. The guard guy looks at Charlie Wong's lieutenant and the third dude up there with them and moves to the door. The thug speaks to him from outside.

THUG: [speaks Cantonese].

Fraser and Vecchio bust in the door with the thug and knock him down. The other three guys get behind things and start shooting. Fraser and Vecchio rush in and knock over a table to shield behind. Vecchio returns fire; Fraser untapes David's mouth and starts freeing his hands.

FRASER: Ray — gunpowder.
VECCHIO: Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
FRASER: [to David] You all right?
DAVID: Where's my father?
VECCHIO: One crisis at a time, kid. [to Fraser] I think they're reloading.
FRASER: You sure?
VECCHIO: [pops up; the bad guys shoot some more; he ducks down again] Not entirely. [pause in the gunfire]
FRASER: Now they're reloading.
VECCHIO: Go!

They jump out from behind their table. The third guy comes at Fraser; they fight. The guy who had been guarding David comes at Vecchio.

VECCHIO: Freeze —

The guard guy kicks his gun out of his hands. They fight. Fraser punches out the third guy. The lieutenant runs.

FRASER: [to Vecchio] You all right?
VECCHIO: Fine.

The guard guy comes at Vecchio again and they fight some more. Vecchio gets the upper hand, knocks the guy down, picks up his gun, holds the guy at gunpoint.

Mr. Lee is still knocking on the door at Charlie Wong's office. Charlie Wong answers.

CHARLIE WONG: You've made a wise choice. Come in.
MR. LEE: Where is my son?
CHARLIE WONG: Where is my tribute?

Mr. Lee starts to open the box; Charlie Wong knocks him down to the sidewalk.

The lieutenant is running down the fire escape at the fireworks warehouse and down the alley. Fraser is chasing him. The lieutenant is about to climb a fence when Diefenbaker comes over it from the other direction.

CHARLIE WONG: You stupid old man. Do you know what you've done to your son? Do you?
MR. LEE: No, please, I beg you.
CHARLIE WONG: No. No more.

Charlie Wong pulls a gun. Mr. Lee reaches for his own gun. A gun fires: It is Vecchio, who has shot Charlie Wong's gun out of his hand. David Lee is with him and rushes to his father.

VECCHIO: Don't move, Wong. Up against the wall. Up against the wall!

Vecchio handcuffs Charlie Wong. Mr. Lee embraces David.

Fraser hauls the lieutenant to his feet.

FRASER: [to Diefenbaker] Thank you. [Diefenbaker's ears perk up.] If you're expecting an apology, you got another thing coming, mister. [Diefenbaker runs past him.] You pay and you pay and you pay . . .

The fireworks warehouse is empty.

FORD: This is the FBI. You are surrounded. Throw down your weapons!

They kick in the doors and start shooting, setting off every firework in the place.

The thug speaking Cantonese, we don't have characters for, but he seems to be saying "wai Jimmy ah"—"Hey Jimmy, you there?" Which, if the inside guy's name is Jimmy, sure.

The music does a great job of setting the mood of the tribute-and-hurrying-to-save-David scene. I like that the neighbors go inside rather than watch Mr. Lee walk to Charlie Wong's; it's possible they are turning their backs on him because they feel he's letting them down, but I think it's more likely (and much more satisfying to contemplate) that they are doing him the honor of not watching him humiliate himself.

I love Vecchio's line "I'm not that good a cop." I'm not wild about Fraser saying "you got another thing coming;" I think it is almost a mortal lock that he would say "you've got another think coming," and they should have done ADR until they had a take where that's what he did say. Ah well.

The incompetence of the feds, of course, continues uninterrupted.

Scene 26

Everyone in Chinatown is appreciating the fireworks display.

VECCHIO: Well, you have to admire their timing.

Mrs. Lee runs up and flings her arms around David. Mr. Lee and Fraser nod to each other. Mrs. Lee looks at Fraser and Vecchio and goes back to hugging her son. Fraser and Vecchio walk away.

FRASER: Shouldn't we stay and fill out some reports?
VECCHIO: Well, no, we have to leave them something to do.
FRASER: Nice shot, by the way . . . knocking it out of the guy's hand.
VECCHIO: Oh, you liked that?
FRASER: Well, I was impressed.
VECCHIO: I thought you would be.
FRASER: You were aiming for . . .
VECCHIO: His chest.
FRASER: Oh. I think I should adjust your sights.
VECCHIO: I'd appreciate that. [They walk for a bit.] You hungry?
FRASER: Mm-hmm.
VECCHIO: I know a nice little place right around the corner.

I will never not cry when the parents and their children are reunited safely.

Scene 27

Elaine is at her desk in the squad room, eating a quart of ice cream out of the carton with a spoon.

ELAINE: I know what it is. I'm an idiot. I meet this guy, he's like no one I've ever met before, you know? Warm, caring, sensitive. The kind that really rips your guts out. And right there, right there, I should have known. There should have been this big neon sign flashing in ten-foot-high letters: Elaine, you're about to make a complete fool of yourself! I mean, just who the hell does he think he is? [It turns out she's talking to Diefenbaker.] Coming around here with that dopey-looking grin, saying things like, "Good morning, Elaine." "How are you today, Elaine?" "Thank you kindly for your time, Elaine." Like I'm supposed to just take that? [Diefenbaker whines.] And the minute you let him get to you, you can't sleep, your skin starts to break out, and the next thing you know you're wandering around supermarkets humming tunes by the Carpenters at the top of your lungs! Do you have any idea what that feels like? [Diefenbaker wants the ice cream. He comes and eats the spoonful she's holding and then trots away.] Well, at least I won't be the only one who breaks out. [She tosses the carton, puts on her jacket, and leaves the squad room.]

Oh, Elaine.

Okay first of all: If this is "breaking out," how the hell clear is her skin when she's not breaking out? I ask you. Also, Elaine is supposed to be a Chicago local, but in this monologue her accent gives her away: rips your guts out and break(s) out are Canadian down to the ground. Sorry, Catherine Bruhier.

Anyway. It sounds like Elaine is maybe over her crush on Fraser and also over the feeling that the detectives don't appreciate her enough? Also, Diefenbaker may be over his snit at Fraser, because he doesn't really want to hear Elaine dissing him—just wants to eat her ice cream and then buzz off? (That may not be indicative of Diefenbaker's mood where Fraser is concerned, I admit.)

What Carpenters tunes do we think Elaine was humming at the supermarket? "(They Long to Be) Close to You" for sure. What else?

I'm fairly sure the title of the episode is simply on the nose and not meant to be a reference to the 1974 film Chinatown, in which there are shenanigans and murders regarding a dam project, which sounds more like the pilot than this episode, doesn't it?

Cumulative confirmed body count: 5
Red uniform: Out to dinner

Previous | Index of annotated transcripts | Next

Comments

[conuly]

Although there we go again with the cultural stereotypes. We assume McClusky and O'Hara are Irish guys or at least of Irish extraction and therefore probably pasty white, maybe with red hair and freckles, is that it?

There aren't quite as many Irish-Chinese descendents as there are Irish-German or Irish-Italian, but in the crowded melting pot that was turn-of-the-century immigrant neighborhoods it happened a lot more often than many people think... especially when you consider the effect of the anti-Chinese immigration laws that kept out most Chinese women.

Similarly, California had a small but thriving Mexican-Sikh community at one point....

[boxofdelights]

Top of the World.