return to Due South: season 1 episode 7 "Chicago Holiday, part 1"

[fox]

Chicago Holiday part 1
air date November 10, 1994

Scene 1

In his apartment, Fraser is ironing his boots and talking to Diefenbaker.

FRASER: Now, let's pretend that you're a sixteen-year-old girl and this is your first time in Chicago. What would you most like to see on your first evening? How about La Bohème? [Diefenbaker whines and snorts.] No, you have to give opera more than one chance. That was the Yukon Light Opera, and I thought they did their very best under extraordinarily difficult circumstances. In fact, it's a miracle that poor woman was able to sing at all, after having been dragged out of that snowdrift. [Diefenbaker barks. Fraser looks at a newspaper.] Oh, now, here's an idea. A modern dress production of Gilbert and Sullivan's Ivanhoe. [Diefenbaker rumbles.] No, you're right. And she is sixteen. I mean, perhaps I'm being a bit conservative. Mind you, she's the daughter of a very important Canadian trade diplomat. I can hardly invite her to a sock hop. [He puts his boots on.] I've got the museums and the galleries scheduled for tomorrow, I just have to find something that she would enjoy doing tonight. [looking at the paper again] Oh, look, the Bee Gees are reuniting. [Diefenbaker whines and lies down. Fraser takes his hat off a form that is pressing the brim flat.] You know, I don't even know why I bother talking to you when you're in these kinds of moods. May I be frank? I only started talking with you on the ice floe out of sheer boredom. Now you've got an opinion on virtually everything. Well, from now on, you can keep your opinions to yourself. Oh — how do I look? [Diefenbaker stares at him but does not reply.] Well, thank you.

The opera Ivanhoe is Sullivan, but not Gilbert and Sullivan. The librettist was Julian Sturgis, whom Gilbert recommended after turning down the gig himself. I suspect a modern-dress production of anyone's "Ivanhoe" in 1994 would have been excruciating.

"Perhaps I'm being a bit conservative," Fraser says. YEAH THAT COULD BE. And then one of the next phrases out of his mouth is "sock hop." Bless him.

I'm with Diefenbaker on all of it in this scene, honestly. Fraser's pretty salty at him to start with, and it's rich to tell him to keep his opinions to himself and immediately ask for his opinion on anything at all. Who knows what sort of mood Fraser thinks Diefenbaker is in; it seems to be Fraser himself who's in a snit, am I right?

Scene 2

A man goes out into an alley and lights a cigarette. He is stabbed in the back; as the killer is folding up the knife, the man falls to the ground, still holding his matchbook ("SMOKING KILLS") in a very nicely manicured hand. The killer, wearing a couple of big rings, carefully takes the matchbook out of the dead man's hand.

Scene 3

MAN: Hi, honey, I'm home! I had a very hard day at the office. [We still haven't seen him, but he puts down the knife we just saw being folded up after the smoker was killed.] Guess what? I got the promotion. Heh heh heh heh. [He puts down a money clip; the bill on the outside is a hundred.] And I'm in the mood to celebrate. [He puts down the "SMOKING KILLS" matchbook. It has handwriting on the inside.] Come out, come out, wherever you — [Glass smashes.]
WOMAN: Think you can treat me like that, Eddie? Hmm? You make me wait here all day, and you think you can walk in and talk to me like that? [She looks in the mirror, using the corner of the matchbook to pick her teeth.] Think again, jerk. [She drops the matchbook in her bag and goes out.]

So smoking has killed both the smoker and possibly also the killer. Let's hear it for clean living, I guess?

Credits roll.

Paul Gross
David Marciano
Beau Starr
Daniel Kash
Tony Craig
Catherine Bruhier

(plus Lincoln the dog)

Lisa Jakub, Stacey Haiduk, Ron Lea, Deborah Rennard, Peter Williams, and Stephen Shellen

Stephen Shellen was apparently the third lead on a show called Counterstrike for a couple of years, which I haven't heard of, and he was the alcoholic brother-in-law in A River Runs Through It in 1992, which I guess is enough for an "and" credit.

Scene 4

In the alley, the police are investigating the death of the smoker from scene 2. Welsh is in black tie.

WELSH: Who called it in?
HUEY: One of the broken nose guys in the bar found him when he came out for his car.
WELSH: We have cause of death?
MEDICAL EXAMINER: Judging from the hole in his back, I'm going to rule out asphyxiation.
VECCHIO: [comes from inside the building] All right, they all tell the same story. They were playing cards, Frank was up. He stepped out. He never came back. They figured he went home a winner.
WELSH: Who do we like for this?
VECCHIO: It's gotta be Eddie Beets.
HUEY: No, Eddie's a soldier. This took too much initiative.
VECCHIO: Word is Eddie's been getting itchy, talking Frankie down. Money says somebody was putting big thoughts in Eddie's head.
GARDINO: Eddie didn't have the brains for big thoughts.
VECCHIO: You got the list, you don't need a brain.
GARDINO: That list is a fairy tale.
VECCHIO: Frankie's a very hands-on kind of guy. He kept a very meticulous record of every distributor and dealer he ever knew. You own Frankie's list, you own the entire west side.
GARDINO: We checked the body. There is no list.
WELSH: All right, everybody's on this.
VECCHIO: Aw, come on. I don't want to work with Screwy and Louis.
WELSH: Half the city is up for grabs right now. Nobody sleeps. You find me the doer and you find me the list. [Vecchio's phone rings.]
VECCHIO: Vecchio. Fraser, I'm sorta busy right now.
WELSH: Are you otherwise engaged, Detective?
VECCHIO: Uh, no, sir.
WELSH: Good. [to the medical examiner] Ready to go?
MEDICAL EXAMINER: You think we can still make it?
WELSH: Absolutely.
MEDICAL EXAMINER: You sure? I thought the curtain was at seven.
WELSH: We'll take my car. I have a flashing light on top. I'll sing the opening aria on the way. [He walks her to his car. All three detectives watch them go.]
VECCHIO: [into the phone] This better be an emergency.

So Welsh is on a date with the medical examiner. (What happened to the putative Mrs. Welsh who shops at Petit's Food Town, huh? Told you he wasn't wearing a ring. Do we think he made his own meatloaf?) Are they on their way to see La Bohème or Ivanhoe? Answers on a postcard.

Normally we get the guest appearances in the first scene after the credits, but not this time; they actually run over the beginning of the next scene.

Scene 5

Candlelight, live jazz. Music cue: "Neon Blue" by the Holly Cole Trio.

HOLLY COLE TRIO: ♫ Streetlights on the corner splash their colors on the night; tape decks blare and kids compare stories of their flight into everywhere riding the wires, reaching for the moon. ♫ [Instrumental break. People are dancing. A teenage girl is dancing with a boy and not enjoying herself at all.] ♫ Streetlights on the corner splash their colors on the night; the men drive by so slowly. The deal is always red for gold. Midnight in the city is always neon blue. ♫ [Fraser, in the red uniform, is lurking out of the way of the music and dancing. He checks his watch.] ♫ The men drive by so slowly. The deal is always red for gold. Midnight in the city is always neon blue, neon blue, neon blue. ♫

Fraser is peering through a potted plant. Vecchio comes up behind him with a paper bag.

FRASER: Oh, thank goodness.
VECCHIO: Okay, I got it. I don't know what's in there, I didn't look, I know how you are about your stuff, but this better be important.
FRASER: [unbuttons his epaulettes] I can't thank you enough, Ray.
VECCHIO: So, what's the emergency?
FRASER: Well, I've been assigned to escort the daughter of Canada's senior trade negotiator.
VECCHIO: The one in the green dress dancing with the doofus?
FRASER: He's the American ambassador's son.
VECCHIO: Looks like a very painful experience.
FRASER: Well, dancing with the Americans often is, Ray. [undoes his lanyard, unthreads the crossbody belt] Speaking politically, of course, not personally.
VECCHIO: Yeah, right. So what was the emergency?
FRASER: You'll never believe this, but I didn't realize that this was a formal event. [undoes the leather belt at his waist]
VECCHIO: You got me off the biggest case of my career to bring you a pair of gloves?
FRASER: And I can't thank you enough, Ray. [fastening a blue and gold belt with no crossbody strap]
VECCHIO: I'm suppose to be on a stake-out right now. I got a tip where I can find Eddie Beets, the guy suspected of offing his boss and trying to take over the entire west side, and I'm delivering formal accessories?
FRASER: [tucking a pair of white gloves into his belt] Well, if it wasn't urgently important, I wouldn't have called you. You'll never know how much this means to me, Ray.
VECCHIO: You're right, I won't. [Someone has noticed them.] Uh-oh. I know that look. This guy's going to want to see my ticket. I'm out of here.
FRASER: [rebuttoning his epaulettes] Thanks, Ray. Oh, uh, Ray, could you, um . . . [He hands Ray the paper bag now containing his lanyard and leather belts.]
VECCHIO: I've got to find new friends. [takes the bag and goes]

The person who noticed them has come over to the plant Fraser was hiding behind.

PARTY GUY: Your boss at the consulate said I couldn't miss you. He was right.
FRASER: [emerges from behind the potted plant] Constable Fraser, sir. Pleased to meet you.
PARTY GUY: Pleased to meet you. Well, it shouldn't be too tough an assignment, eh, Constable?
FRASER: I'll take good care of your daughter, sir.
PARTY GUY (CANADA'S SENIOR TRADE NEGOTIATOR): I wish I had more time to take her around myself. Her mother used to take care of her on these trips. It's been two years, I haven't gotten the hang of it. I guess I'm not much of a substitute. Ah, can I get you anything?
FRASER: Oh, thank you, no, sir. I'm on duty.
CANADA'S SENIOR TRADE NEGOTIATOR: So are you up for it?
FRASER: Well, I've drawn up a short itinerary, but it would be helpful if I had a, a better idea of her particular interests.
CANADA'S SENIOR TRADE NEGOTIATOR: Oh, you know, a little sightseeing, shopping. I gave her some money. If she needs more make a call. Just make sure that she has a good time and shows up at the ball tomorrow night. [watches his daughter dancing, bored, with the American ambassador's son] Isn't she beautiful? Well, ah, duty calls. I have to get these Americans to sell less and buy more.
FRASER: I understand, sir.
CANADA'S SENIOR TRADE NEGOTIATOR: You, ah — [He shakes Fraser's hand, passing him a tip.] — take very good care of her.
FRASER: I will.

He biffs off. Fraser isn't sure what to do with the cash in his hand now. The song ends, and the girl smiles politely to the American ambassador's son and comes over to Fraser.

DAUGHTER: So, you must be Chicago.
FRASER: Ah. Constable Fraser, ma'am. And I will be your escort until tomorrow night. Now, I've given some thought to the itinerary, but not knowing your tastes —
DAUGHTER: Well, I'm sure whatever you picked will be just fine. I'll be right back. [She ducks off to the ladies' room.]
FRASER: Well, I'll just, uh. I'll wait right here.

The American ambassador's son joins him.

AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: She go in there?
FRASER: Yes.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: So.
FRASER: So.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: So . . . you, like, uh, her boyfriend?
FRASER: Me? No.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: She said she didn't want to dance any more 'cause her boyfriend might get bent out of shape.
FRASER: Ah.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: You seen him around here?
FRASER: Her boyfriend? No.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: You think she was lying to me?
FRASER: The truth?
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: Yeah.
FRASER: Yes.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: Women can be cold.
FRASER: You know, when I was your age, I couldn't dance very well either.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: Really?
FRASER: Really.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: You're like, what, the valet?
FRASER: Something like that.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: That's cool.
FRASER: Well, thank you.

A young woman in a headscarf and sunglasses comes out of the ladies' room and goes by them on her way out.

FRASER: Good evening, miss.
YOUNG WOMAN: It's gonna be.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: That was a babe.
FRASER: Well, yes, now that you mention it, she does look quite . . . she . . . excuse me. [He opens the ladies' room door.] Excuse me. [Shocked voices of women. He covers his eyes.] I, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm looking for a — oh dear. [He retreats and hurries out the way the young woman went.] Excuse me. Excuse me, sir.

AMERICAN AMBASSADOR'S SON: [to another young man who has just come up] You'll never believe it, man. The valet's a perv.

Whoo, a lot going on here. First of all, Fraser isn't a guest at the party, so it's probably actually okay that he was wearing his regular dress uniform rather than his formal dress uniform. It's not like he rocked up in work clothes, am I right? I'm with Vecchio that probably bringing him this fancy belt and a pair of gloves and taking away the lanyard and leather is not more important than doing a stake-out trying to catch Eddie Beets. So Fraser needs to sort out his priorities a bit, right? Police work, then dress code?

The American ambassador's son is kind of a dweeb. (And why is there an American ambassador on the premises anyway? I'm pretty sure the United States does not have, nor need, diplomatic relations with Chicago.) Fraser stopped himself from saying anything appreciative about the young woman who had gone by them as soon as he realized that she was in fact the sixteen-year-old child he was supposed to be looking after. Opening the ladies' room door was a giant goof, of course. Like he's never heard of knocking?

And in between those things, the actual conversation with Canada's Senior Trade Negotiator, about whom what can be said? His wife either left him or died two years ago. I'm assuming she died, because if they'd divorced, unless he got 100% custody and the mom couldn't have unsupervised visits, wouldn't the daughter be with her rather than tagging along on her dad's business trip? He appears to believe money solves everything—as if Fraser can be motivated by a cash tip?, not that the guy knows that, and as if the only thing that could go wrong with his daughter's visit to Chicago would be if she needed more money. Sigh. "I guess I'm not much of a substitute," he said. For his daughter's mother. NO. NO YOU ARE NOT. YOU ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR HER MOTHER. YOU ARE HER FATHER. The idea that fathers are incompetent bumbling Associate Parents, especially of daughters, is so tiresome and disappointing. (Big up for Charlie Pike, who was presented as neither of those things! . . . Also, side note, here we are in episode 7 and the family situations are something, aren't they. Let me get out of these parens and we'll do a rundown.)

• Pilot: Fraser, an adult, loses his father; he has no other family. (Vecchio has a large family: widowed mother, two sisters, a brother-in-law, and some number of other relations, some of whom are children and some of whom are older adults.)
• Free Willie: Willie, age 13, has no mother and apparently no father; his sister is his guardian (but we never see her either).
• Diefenbaker's Day Off: Lucy, age 6, has a dead mother and a single father.
• Manhunt: Julie Frobisher, an adult, is divorced from her child's father; her own father is apparently widowed.
• They Eat Horses, Don't They?: Mrs. Gamez has four children, and their father is not in the picture.
• Pizzas and Promises: Lenny is a juvenile offender with a driving job, so he's 16 or 17; his parents are never so much as mentioned, so we may assume he's on his own.
• Chinatown: David Lee, an adult, is the son of parents who are still married to each other! Make a note!
• Chicago Holiday: And here we are.

So what's going on, eh? Anyway, he bumbles about it, but it is not at all charming or amusing that Canada's Senior Trade Negotiator has no idea how to parent his daughter.

Scene 6

The young woman in the headscarf comes out the door. The red-coated doorman puts her in a taxi; she pulls the scarf off her head, and surprise! it is Canada's Senior Trade Negotiator's daughter.

GROOVY CAB DRIVER: Well, well, well, don't we look pretty tonight.
DAUGHTER: Thank you. Drive.
GROOVY CAB DRIVER: Where you want to go?
DAUGHTER: What's the wildest club in town?
GROOVY CAB DRIVER: The wildest club? No, no. No, no, you don't want to go there, darlin'.
DAUGHTER: [offers him cash] Yes, I do.
GROOVY CAB DRIVER: [takes it] You're going to love the place.

Fraser comes running out the door as the cab pulls away.

FRASER: Miss Nichols?
DAUGHTER (MISS NICHOLS): See ya, Chicago!
FRASER: Ah . . . [realizes he can't go back inside; goes to doorman] I need a cab.
DOORMAN: Do you work here?

The girl gives the cabbie green money, so at least her dad has more sense than Fraser about what kind of cash to carry in the United States. Hard to see what it is that she gives him, but it may be a hundred.

This is the second time someone has assumed Fraser was the doorman, but at least last time it wasn't a doorman doing the assuming.

Scene 7

Miss Nichols is preening in the back seat of the taxi. The groovy cab driver turns the radio on.

GROOVY CAB DRIVER: So how come a pretty little thing like yourself is out all by her lonesome tonight?
MISS NICHOLS: Just looking for some fun, Jerome. Looking for some fun.

Another cab pulls up level with hers and keeps pace in the next lane. Fraser speaks to her through the open window.

FRASER: In a hurry to see the sights, are you? Well, I can understand that.
GROOVY CAB DRIVER (JEROME): You know this guy?
MISS NICHOLS: Go away. Just leave me alone.
FRASER: Well, I can't do that, you see, because I have the itinerary.
JEROME: What is he, some kind of nut?
MISS NICHOLS: Yes. Go faster.
JEROME: Hey, I'm already going the speed lim—
MISS NICHOLS: [shoving him another Benjamin] Lose him!
JEROME: All right! [takes the money and floors it]
FRASER: [to his cab driver] I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to break the speed limit.
CAB DRIVER: How much?
FRASER: By as little as necessary.
CAB DRIVER: How much money?
FRASER: Oh. Um — [pulls cash out of his hat] — here.
CAB DRIVER: It's red.
FRASER: It's Canadian.
CAB DRIVER: It's got your picture on it.
FRASER: No, that's the RCMP Musical Ride.
CAB DRIVER: It's not a good likeness at all.
FRASER: Well, uh — here. [He gives the cab driver the tip Canada's Senior Trade Negotiator (Mr. Nichols) gave him.]
CAB DRIVER: Now, this guy I know. [floors it]
FRASER: [pulling level with the other cab again] I'm afraid there's been some kind of misunderstanding.
MISS NICHOLS: Why are you doing this to me?
FRASER: Because I am your escort. Your father has entrusted you to my care.
MISS NICHOLS: My father doesn't give a damn about me.
FRASER: Well, now, that that's not true. As a matter of fact, he gave me twenty dollars so I could take you someplace nice. [to cab driver] Could you show it to her, please? [cab driver waves the tip] You see?
MISS NICHOLS: I don't need his money and I don't need a babysitter.
JEROME: Hey, I need his money.
MISS NICHOLS: Here.
JEROME: All right. We gone now. Hold on. [He speeds up again. Miss Nichols cheers and claps.]
CAB DRIVER: I need more too.
FRASER: Well, all I have left is Canadian.
CAB DRIVER: Fine, then I'll drive thirty percent slower.
FRASER: All right. Just keep it steady. Hold this, would you? [gives the cab driver his hat and opens the car door]
CAB DRIVER: Hey, what? What the hell are you doing?

Fraser climbs onto the roof of the car, closing the door behind him, and then takes his hat back from the driver.

FRASER: Thank you! [He jumps from the roof of his cab to the roof of Jerome and Miss Nichols's cab and lies down on it, leaning over to speak to her through her window.] Would you consider discussing this over coffee?
JEROME: This man is seriously crazy.
MISS NICHOLS: Go away.
FRASER: You're being a bit childish.
MISS NICHOLS: Childish? I just turned sixteen years old. Do you know what my father gave me for my birthday? A porcelain doll.
FRASER: How nice.
MISS NICHOLS: Do I look like I play with dolls?
JEROME: Uh-uh, you look very fine.
MISS NICHOLS: Thank you.
FRASER: You know, you really should take this up with your father, because I'm sure he'd understand you have very valid concerns.
MISS NICHOLS: You want to hear my concerns, Chicago?
FRASER: Well, I'm not sure this is the most appropriate venue.
JEROME: Well, I want to hear them.
MISS NICHOLS: Okay, here's one. When do I get my own life? When do I get to do what I want to do? When do I get to stop being the perfect little princess and go skinny dipping?
JEROME: Public pool, coming up.
FRASER: You keep driving.
MISS NICHOLS: I want to go out all night and come home when the sun comes up, and I want to fall in love with someone I just met, and I want to kiss someone who's not related to me.
JEROME: I could pull over right here.
FRASER: Keep driving.
MISS NICHOLS: I want to do all these things I've never done before, and I want to do them all tonight.
FRASER: Well, you know, there is the most fantastic exhibit at the, uh, Museum of Science.
MISS NICHOLS: [gives Jerome some more cash] U-turn.

Jerome does a 180. Fraser swings around on top of the cab, holding onto the "taxi" sign. He speaks to Miss Nichols through the rear windshield.

FRASER: The Textile Museum?
MISS NICHOLS: All right, I'll make you a deal. We go one place I choose. Then I'll go back to the hotel.
FRASER: Well, now, I'm afraid I can't agree to that.
MISS NICHOLS: All right, where's this pool?

Jerome floors it. Fraser leans down and speaks to Miss Nichols through the back window on the other side of the car.

FRASER: One place and that's it?
MISS NICHOLS: We got a deal? Or do you want to see my backstroke?
FRASER: All right, we got a deal.
JEROME: Here we are.
FRASER: Oh, dear.

Jerome stops the cab. Fraser rolls off the top, taking the taxi sign with him, and rolls to his feet. People waiting in line at the club are unmoved.

FRASER: Let me get that. [He opens the car door for Miss Nichols. She heads for the front of the line. Fraser gives Jerome the sign from the top of his cab.]
JEROME: Man, you're one freaky red dude, you know that? You're gonna fit right into that place.

Fraser realizes he doesn't have his hat. Jerome drives off, running over it where it's still in the street. While Fraser goes to get it, Miss Nichols pays the bouncer to let her in without waiting in line. Fraser picks up his crushed hat and punches it back into shape. He goes to the bouncer himself. A woman in a police costume comes out leading a man on a chain.

FRASER: Ah! A costume party, is it? Well, it sounds like good clean fun.

He takes a whip or a belt or some such thing from one of the bouncers as he goes in.

The Musical Ride was on the reverse of the Canadian $50 for ten years (when the obverse had William Lyon Mackenzie King).

I have no idea whether there are S&M clubs in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, but if there are, it is likely Fraser visited none of them in the five weeks he was stationed there.

Jerome does not seem creepy or predatory toward Miss Nichols at all. Even "pretty little thing" seems appreciative rather than icky, and he offers to take her skinny dipping or to pull over and kiss her only after she brings it up (and doesn't argue at all when Fraser says "keep driving"). So well done Jerome.

Scene 8

The detectives are staking out the club.

GARDINO: Unit five in position.
ANOTHER COP: Unit four in position.
STILL ANOTHER COP: Unit two in position.
VECCHIO: [in the back seat of Gardino and Huey's car] Nobody moves till I give the word.

My entire life, I will never understand why numbered units don't count off in order. Red Squadron did this in the first Star Wars as well:

RED LEADER: All wings report in.
RED TEN: Red Ten standing by.
RED SEVEN: Red Seven standing by.
BIGGS: Red Three standing by.
PORKINS: Red Six standing by.
RED NINE: Red Nine standing by.
WEDGE: Red Two standing by.
RED ELEVEN: Red Eleven standing by.
LUKE: Red Five standing by.
RED LEADER: Lock S-foils in attack position.

Was that everyone? I have to go back and make sure! Leader(1), 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11—so where are Reds Four and Eight? Are they already dead? Leader would already know that, sure, but wouldn't it be easier to keep track of everyone if they counted off in the same order every time? Maybe Red Squadron is doing it in wing pairs, because Biggs and Porkins were apparently wingmates, so if the pairs are 10 & 7, 3 & 6, 9 & 2, and 11 & 5, okay, but there's still no rhyme or reason to what order the wings count off in, and in any case, back here in Chicago, WE HEAR FROM UNITS FIVE, FOUR, AND TWO and it's not like these guys have been in battles with TIE fighters lately, this case is only a few hours old, so WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO UNITS ONE AND THREE and why on earth are we not calling in in numerical order?!

I apologize for shouting, but I've been wondering that about Red Squadron for at least 30 years and having the Chicago Police Department do the same damn thing apparently activated something in me.

Scene 9

The cops are still staking out the place. Gardino is chain smoking, and the car is hazy.

HUEY: There's no sign of Beets.
VECCHIO: How can you see anything? I can't even see the hand in front of my face.
HUEY: I hope we're not wasting our time.
GARDINO: My source says he'll be here, he'll be here.
VECCHIO: Yeah, the only problem is I'll be dead by then from second-hand smoke. [Gardino lights another cigarette off the butt of his last one.] Oh, yeah, that's it, light up another one. God forbid you should consider somebody else's lungs. [to Huey] How do you put up with this guy? [Huey lights a cigar.] Oh, great.

Scene 10

Inside the club. It is loud and smoky with flashing lights. Fraser is tipping his hat to the various leather-clad people he passes by. There are also bird costumes, sailor suits, a woman dressed like Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch; place has all kinds. Music cue: "Butterfly Wings" by Machines of Loving Grace.

MUSIC: ♫ Well you can't place faith in material things, material things will fail you. A hurricane triggered by a butterfly's wings, your conspirators betray you. Don't place faith in human beings; human beings are unreliable things. Don't place faith in human beings — human beings or butterflies' wings. ♫
FRASER: Good evening.
LEATHER SUB: I've been bad. I've been very bad. Please punish me.
FRASER: There's nothing so bad that it can't be forgiven, son. [He claps the young man on the bare shoulder and moves on.] MUSIC: ♫ You can't place faith in a new regime, that fascist faith will kill you. A hurricane triggered by a butterfly's wings, your conspirators betray you. ♫

Miss Nichols sits down at the bar.

MISS NICHOLS: Long Island Iced Tea. Keep 'em coming.
BARTENDER: How old are you?
MISS NICHOLS: [cash] How old do I look?
BARTENDER: Just the right age. [takes the cash, starts mixing drinks]

Fraser is moving through heaving crowds of people dancing.

MUSIC: ♫ Don't place faith in human beings; human beings are unreliable things. Don't place faith in human beings — human beings or butterflies' wings. ♫
FRASER: Excuse me. Bonjour, monsieur, ça va? [He spots Miss Nichols at the bar.] Here you are. [to an old woman in a sailor hat] Hello, ma'am. [The old woman in the sailor hat winks at him.] Thank you. [Miss Nichols raises her glass to toast him.] Ah-ah. [He takes the glass from her and takes a sip.] I'm afraid there's been a mistake. There's liquor in this. Quite a large quantity, too.
MISS NICHOLS: [raises the second glass, which the bartender has just put in front of her] Cheers.
FRASER: [takes that one too] No. No, I don't think so.
MISS NICHOLS: You're such a drag.

She stomps off. He follows her, but a couple of identically dressed women in pigtails and pinafores block him. He gives them the Long Island Iced Teas.

FRASER: Would you, uh . . .
TWINS: [in unison] Any time.

He is a bit nonplused, but goes between them to follow Miss Nichols. The twins turn to watch him go and lick brightly colored lollipops in unison. Miss Nichols goes to the ladies' room, passing a woman in a red wig lighting a cigarette off a match from the "SMOKING KILLS" matchbook from scenes 2 and 3. In the ladies' room, Miss Nichols is frustrated to see that she won't be able to sneak out the window. She goes to the mirror. Back out in the club, Fraser is moving through crowds of dancers again. He sees another Mountie.

MUSIC: ♫ Don't place faith, don't place faith. When I decide to live in the mind, the heart dies. Mother superior in the sky, the heart dies, the heart dies. ♫
FRASER: Ah. Have you seen a . . . [He suddenly realizes the Mountie's tunic is red leather. He looks the fellow up and down and is shocked practically speechless.] . . . oh. Oh. [He moves along.]
MUSIC: ♫ Don't place faith in human beings; human beings are unreliable things. Don't place faith in human beings — human beings or butterflies' wings. ♫

The man who killed the smoker in scene 2 comes up to the smoking woman in the red wig.

MAN: Look what you did do me, huh? Look what you did to my eye. Not smart. You are one stupid girl. Tell me something.
WOMAN: Okay.
MAN: What'd you plan to do with it, huh?
WOMAN: Mm-hmm. What do you want, Eddie? Hmm?
MAN (EDDIE): You don't take from me.
WOMAN: Nah.
EDDIE: No. [He kisses her.] Nobody ever takes from me.
WOMAN: I'm a giver, Eddie.

She smashes a bottle on his head and runs to the ladies' room. She has no better luck with the window there than Miss Nichols had. She, too, goes to the mirror and starts digging in her bag.

MISS NICHOLS: [offers her lipstick] Want to borrow mine?
WOMAN: Oh — no, thanks. Thanks anyway. [Eddie busts the door down.] Eddie!
EDDIE: Get out of here. [starts shooing other women out of the ladies' room]
WOMAN: Eddie! [She drops the "SMOKING KILLS" matchbook into Miss Nichols's bag.] You stay away from me, you son of a bitch.

She ducks into a stall. Eddie pushes Miss Nichols out of the way. Miss Nichols grabs her bag and flees.

EDDIE: You're dead, Janice.

Miss Nichols is running through the club. Eddie is kicking at the stall door in the ladies' room.

EDDIE: You know how long you have to live? Start counting, honey.
MUSIC: ♫ Don't place faith in human beings; human beings are unreliable things. Don't place faith in human beings — human beings or butterfly wings. ♫

Fraser is still looking around the club. Miss Nichols drops her bag; she is trying to get through the crowd, but she is hemmed in.

MISS NICHOLS: Chicago!

Eddie is still kicking at the door.

EDDIE: Come on, Janice!
MUSIC: ♫ You can't place faith in a new regime, that fascist faith will kill you. A hurricane triggered by a butterfly's wings, your conspirators betray you. ♫

Just as he breaks the door down, the woman (Janice) ducks under the partition and runs out from the next stall over. Eddie follows her back out into the club, pushing another woman out of the way as she comes into the ladies' room. Janice is pushing people out of her way as well.

WOMAN (JANICE): Move it!

Eddie is chasing her with his folding knife drawn. Someone grabs at him to stop him chasing Janice; he slashes at them.

MUSIC: ♫ Don't place faith in human beings; human beings are unreliable things. Don't place faith in human beings — human beings or butterfly wings. ♫
LEATHER MOUNTIE: [into his wrist] Something's going down.
VECCHIO: Let's go! [Vecchio, Huey, and Gardino start getting out of the car.]
GARDINO: We're moving in.

In the club, Eddie catches up with Janice. There's a standoff; he slashes toward her with his knife a couple of times. Miss Nichols ducks and crawls between people's legs and hides near someone's leather-clad knee with a whip hanging from their belt. Eddie and Janice struggle a bit more. Miss Nichols sees her bag and retrieves it. Eddie has caught Janice; she is holding his knife arm away from her with both hands.

EDDIE: You used to have such a pretty face.

Fraser grabs Eddie's knife hand and shakes the knife to the ground. He throws Eddie into some bar stools, which collapse into kindling. Eddie falls to the floor. Janice runs. Fraser hauls Eddie up by the scruff of the neck.

FRASER: Would anyone here happen to have a pair of handcuffs? [Everyone does, of course.] Thank you. [He cuffs Eddie to a dance pole and takes Miss Nichols by the hand.] Now let's get you out of here. [They start to leave the club.]
VECCHIO: This is a raid. Nobody move. This is a raid.
FRASER: [leading Miss Nichols out of the club] Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me.
LEATHER MOUNTIE: Freeze, Red, you're under arrest.
VECCHIO: Who you got?
FRASER: [peeking out from behind the leather Mountie] Hello, Ray.
VECCHIO: Fraser!

Eddie lifts his hands over the top of the dance pole, which is not connected to the ceiling, and runs off.

I have this memory that Long Island Iced Tea sounds like the drinkiest drink of all when you don't have a lot of experience of drinking, because it has a lot of kinds of alcohol in it. But of course a single spirit with a single mixer can have a lot of alcohol in it; it's not the variety that makes a drink strong, it's the quantity. And the variety makes Long Island Iced Tea not at all delicious, if you ask me.

Fraser's tendency to take things at face value suggests that he is actually being sincere with the guy who asks to be punished; he doesn't start to feel like something is strange here until the two pigtails-and-lollipops women basically proposition him, and then he realizes he's not in Kansas anymore when he gets an eyeful of the leather Mountie, whose costume we never see below the waist, so we should probably draw our own conclusions. (I adore that the leather Mountie is actually a real cop.) Poor Fraser, the number of things that have apparently never even occurred to him before. Nice recovery by the time he needs handcuffs, though.

Scene 11

Outside the club, everyone who got caught in the raid is filing into a police van.

FRASER: Ray! Ray! There's a very simple explanation for all of this.
VECCHIO: Don't talk to me, all right? I don't even know you.
LEATHER SUB: These aren't tight enough.
VECCHIO: Just get in there, all right? Get out of my face.

Fraser is standing aside letting everyone else get in the van before him and Miss Nichols.

FRASER: After you, ma'am. No, please, after you.

Vecchio looks more disappointed and betrayed than he did when Fraser got stabbed in the leg. Meanwhile, Fraser is treating the police van like a taxi stand or an elevator, which is sure to end well.

Scene 12

Janice is running in the alley behind the club. She peeks around the corner at the police van, and then Eddie is behind her. They struggle; he pulls the red wig off her head. She screams. He grabs her by the throat and pushes her against the wall, flicking his knife open.

EDDIE: I'm beginning to reassess our relationship.
JANICE: Please don't. Don't, Eddie. Eddie!
EDDIE: [He's going to cut her face.] Where are the matches, honey?
JANICE: I don't, I dropped them. Please don't.
EDDIE: You lied to me.
JANICE: No.
EDDIE: You never used to lie to me.
JANICE: I swear, I dropped them. [points] She has them. The girl.
EDDIE: Show me. [He drags her to the corner by her throat and her hair.]
JANICE: That one. Her.
EDDIE: The little one.
JANICE: Uh-huh.

Eddie throws Janice to the ground. Back at the wagon, Fraser is ushering more people in before him.

FRASER: After you, ma'am. After you, sir. After you.
VECCHIO: Will you get in the truck? Just get in there, okay?
FRASER: Ah. I'm sorry, Ray. [to Miss Nichols] After you. [as he climbs in] Hello everyone. How are you?

Eddie glares at the van.

So Eddie is a lot worse of a bad guy than Huey and Gardino were giving him credit for back in scene 4. This him-and-Janice threatening-and-being-scared stuff is pretty convincingly frightening.

Scene 13

Back at the police station.

GARDINO: Name?
DOMME: Madame Defarge.
GARDINO: [typing] D-A-F-A-
HUEY: Louis. [Shakes his head, mouths "no."]
GARDINO: . . . Name?
DOMME: Marat-Sade.
GARDINO: [typing] M-A-R-A-
LEATHER SUB: [to Huey] You sure we haven't met somewhere before?
HUEY: I'm sure.
LEATHER SUB: Because you look very familiar.
HUEY: I need you to look at this picture and tell me if you saw this man at the club.
WELSH: [His black tie is untied.] Gentlemen. Would you join me? [Huey and Gardino go to his office.] So you have no idea if Eddie Beets was even at the club.
GARDINO: We were working on a tip from a very reliable source, sir.
HUEY: We're squeezing the patrons, sir, but most of them won't even give us their real names.
GARDINO: Sir, this club is a very well known hangout for the people who run in these circles. If there is a list, which I sincerely doubt, and a person wanted to sell it or parlay it, this is the place they'd go.
WELSH: So you're telling me these are all underworld figures we have out here?
GARDINO: Well, they're mostly hangers-on and wannabes, sir.
HUEY: This was a very reliable source, sir.
GARDINO: Very reliable.
WELSH: Look, Detective, let's say the list exists. If Eddie Beets has it, he controls everything coming to the west side. Now, Detective Gardino, if you had just seized control of the entire west side, would your first act be to go dance in leather underwear?
VECCHIO: Perhaps Detective Gardino's the wrong person to ask, sir.
WELSH: Did you search Beets's apartment?
GARDINO: Yeah, head to toe. There's no list.
WELSH: Good. Do it again.
GARDINO: What? Are you serious?
WELSH: And get these perverts out of my squad room.
VECCHIO: Uh, a moment of your time, sir? Of a personal nature?
WELSH: If this has to do with people smoking in the men's room, I don't want to hear it.
VECCHIO: It's a little more delicate than that, sir. You see, I have this friend, who, through a, uh, unfortunate set of circumstances happened to be in the club at the time of the raid.
WELSH: And you want to bounce him. May I ask who this friend is? [They look through the office blinds. Fraser waves. He is handcuffed to Miss Nichols.] Really.
VECCHIO: Ah, yes, sir.
WELSH: Who's the girl with him?
VECCHIO: The daughter of a Canadian diplomat.
WELSH: No kidding.

There's a knock at Welsh's office door.

CANADA'S SENIOR TRADE NEGOTIATOR (MR. NICHOLS): I'm looking for Lieutenant Welsh.

So I didn't ask when they were all getting into the police van, but I'll ask here: What is it that all these people have been arrested for? Was dancing in leather underwear illegal in Chicago in 1994? Surely not. In fact based on what we see on the screen, the only people who have done anything illegal in that club are the following:

• Eddie, who threatened Janice with a knife
• Janice, who hit Eddie with a bottle
• the bartender, who served Miss Nichols alcoholic drinks
• Miss Nichols, who bought them
• Fraser, who assaulted Eddie, destroyed club property, and arguably contributed to the delinquency of a minor

I don't blame Mme. Defarge for not cooperating. She was blameless and she should say it.

Scene 14

Club patrons in handcuffs are being led through the station. Mr. Nichols is leading his daughter down the stairs. He puts his suit jacket over her shoulders to cover her club dress.

MR. NICHOLS: You have no idea, do you? You have no idea what could have happened to you.
MISS NICHOLS: I'm okay, Dad.
MR. NICHOLS: You're okay? Then why did I leave an American commercial attaché sitting in a restaurant to come down to a police department to get you out. I'm surprised the damn press isn't here yet.
FRASER: Excuse me, Mr. Nichols.
MR. NICHOLS: If I have anything to say to you, Constable, you'll hear it from your supervising officer after he hears about it from his commanding officer. And trust me, you will hear.
FRASER: This is a copy of my report, sir, stating that my gross negligence endangered the security of your daughter.
MR. NICHOLS: You're damn right it did.
FRASER: Miss Nichols just wanted to see some of the city's night life. If I'd done my homework, I would have known that that club was completely inappropriate, and I never would have taken her there.
MR. NICHOLS: So this was your idea.
FRASER: I'm truly sorry for the anxiety this must have caused you, sir.
MR. NICHOLS: Caused me? What about her? My daughter is fifteen years old. My God, man, did you see the people in there?
MISS NICHOLS: I'm sixteen. I turned sixteen two months ago, Daddy.
MR. NICHOLS: I know, sweetie, I know. It's just that my mind has been filled with so much junk from these trade talks. And I come here, I find you — I mean, what would your mother say if she saw you in these clothes?
MISS NICHOLS: [to Fraser] Can you take me back to the hotel, please?
MR. NICHOLS: I'll take you. I just need to make a phone call. I don't even know the number. The poor man is sitting in the restaurant.
MISS NICHOLS: I can take a cab.
MR. NICHOLS: We'll just be there for a few minutes.
MISS NICHOLS: I'm not a child. I have taken a cab before.
FRASER: I'll make sure that she gets home, sir.
MR. NICHOLS: I can trust you to do that?
FRASER: You have my word.
MR. NICHOLS: Okay. [to his daughter] You okay? I'll see you at the ball, all right? We'll talk. [He turns to go.] Damn. [turns back] Honey, I, um — I need my jacket. [She gives him his suit jacket.] Love you. [to Fraser] Make sure.
FRASER: I will, sir.
MISS NICHOLS: Thanks a lot.
FRASER: I'm sorry?
MISS NICHOLS: Why didn't you tell him it was my idea?
FRASER: Well, I, I was just trying to —
MISS NICHOLS: Protect me? I am so sick of everyone trying to protect me from living my life. [She storms out.]
FRASER: [follows her, scooting past a drag queen] Excuse me, ma'am.

So on the one hand: It's probably true that the girl has no idea what could have happened to her. On the other hand, it's likely her dad has no idea either, and he's not thinking of her as any type of young adult. She's wearing a close-fitting dress, but nothing so revealing it has to be covered up or would (or should) shock her (late?) mother. And he's disproportionately stressed about having broken up his business meeting; like, if he's really scared for his daughter's safety, he shouldn't give a shit about the American commercial attaché, and if he's that embarrassed about the American commercial attaché, he's upset because his daughter embarrassed him, not because he was scared for her safety. My kid is only five and a half, but his father and I have recently agreed that when he is old enough to be able to call us on the phone by himself, our official position will be No matter where you are, if you need me to come and get you, I will do it, and I will not be mad at you for asking. (And that goes for your friends, too, so if you've got a friend who needs us to keep them safe, you bring them on over.) I am disappointed in Mr. Nichols's parenting.

Scene 15

Fraser and Miss Nichols are walking down the hotel corridor. She is wiping off her lipstick with a tissue.

MISS NICHOLS: You're walking me right to my door?
FRASER: Well, I promised your father I'd see you home safely.
MISS NICHOLS: Ah, I bet you always do everything you're told to do, right?
FRASER: Well, actually, no.
MISS NICHOLS: Really? Well, I do. I always do everything I've been told to do.
FRASER: You don't seem very happy about that.
MISS NICHOLS: Like I have a choice.
FRASER: You know, Christina, you may not believe this, but whether you're sixteen or sixty, no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. Ultimately, no matter what the situation, the choice is always in your hands. You just think it isn't. [They are stopped outside the Illinois Suite.]
MISS NICHOLS (CHRISTINA): Okay, maybe you're right. It's time I made a decision. Here it is. You know that ball my father really wants me to go to tomorrow night?
FRASER: Uh-huh.
CHRISTINA: I'm not going.
FRASER: Well, there. A decision. Now. As to tonight?
CHRISTINA: Don't worry about it. I'm not going anywhere.
FRASER: You'll be all right by yourself?
CHRISTINA: I've been left in hotel rooms all over the world, Chicago. It's the one thing I know how to do. [She goes into the room, where the housekeeper is cleaning up.] Good night.
HOUSEKEEPER: I'll be finished in a wink, darling.
CHRISTINA: Oh, no trouble. [She kicks off her shoes and dumps out her bag to sort through her crap. She takes her keys and some cash; a tissue and the matchbook fall to the floor.]
HOUSEKEEPER: Good night, then.
CHRISTINA: [going into the next room of the suite] Good night.

Just as she's leaving, the housekeeper sees the tissues and stuff Christina left when she dumped out her bag. She picks them up and tosses them, including the matchbook, in the trash bag on her cart before she leaves the room.

Fraser, lurking down the hall and around the corner, hears the room door open and pops his head around to be sure Christina isn't leaving again. He sees the housekeeper come out with her cart and is momentarily reassured. The housekeeper goes into another room across the hall.

Christina has changed into another outfit and is loading her cash, lip gloss, keys, etc. into another bag. Fraser gets on an elevator in which a small boy has already pressed the button for almost every floor.

FRASER: Ah. Thank you.

As Fraser's elevator door closes, Christina leaves her room and passes by the housekeeper and her cart. Christina gets on another elevator by herself. The housekeeper throws the trash, including the matchbook, down the chute and turns to leave. Another housekeeper gets off the service elevator.

ANOTHER HOUSEKEEPER: Good night, Mrs. MacGuffin.
HOUSEKEEPER (MRS. MACGUFFIN): Good night, dearie.

In the basement, the janitor throws the trash in the incinerator, but he sees that the matchbook has fallen out. He picks it up and puts it in his pocket, grabs a pack of smokes, and changes his status on the in/out board from "IN" to "OUT". (His name is Duff, but the D on his name plate has been scuffed and retaped a couple of times, and it's in the Maintenance column next to someone in the Housekeeping column named Mac: [blank] MAC GUFF IN/OUT.) He grabs his jacket and leaves.

Christina's elevator reaches the lobby. She leaves. Eddie, who has been lurking by a flower arrangement, sees her go and follows her.

I feel like it's pretty shitty of Christina—for that is her name—to blame Fraser for taking the rap for her, then promise him she's in for the night, and then sneak out again. I know she's only 16, but maybe two out of three, right? Of course she wants to get in trouble; the fact that he might be blamed for her choices is extra tiresome for her because her whole point is that she's making her own decisions. (In which case she could have just told him she wasn't going to stay in. But never mind.)

Name for me please a hotel where housekeeping comes around to make up the rooms this late in the evening? I've never heard of such a thing. Anyway: Obviously the thing here is the hat the show is hanging on the MacGuffin. Oy vey.

Scene 16

Fraser is stepping out the front door of the hotel. He sees an open-topped double decker tour bus go by and is pretty sure he sees Christina on it.

FRASER: Christina?

He runs after the bus and is almost run over by DuffGuff, the hotel maintenance man, who bangs his cigarette into his steering wheel and is so annoyed he throws it and his matches out the car window. The "SMOKING KILLS" matchbook lands on the sidewalk. A little girl picks it up and skips along with her mom.

LITTLE GIRL'S MOM: Okay, ready? Let's go. Let Mommy just open the door.

She opens a car door. The tour bus drives by. Fraser runs by in traffic, following it.

Is there nothing that man will not chase on foot?

Scene 17

The detectives are searching Eddie's apartment. Huey is looking at a sort of hypnotic perpetual motion office desk sculpture.

GARDINO: Hey, you see this guy's bathroom? He's got a marble toilet seat.
HUEY: Italian marble, huh? For a psycho, Eddie's got good taste.
GARDINO: Yeah, but in the winter, isn't it a bit cold? [Vecchio arrives.]
VECCHIO: Oh, hello, boys. Ain't it past your bedtime?
HUEY: There's no list, Vecchio. You wasted my evening.
GARDINO: Yeah, you wasted our evening.
VECCHIO: Well, I don't think I wasted your entire evening. I mean, Chuck E. Cheese is open till midnight, isn't it?

Huey and Gardino leave. Vecchio continues searching. Janice arrives; Vecchio hides. She starts loading jewelry into her bag, mainly watches and necklaces. She picks up one item, bites it, and decides not to take it.

VECCHIO: [aiming his gun at her] Mistake. That was platinum.
JANICE: Oh, really? So how much was it worth?
VECCHIO: About six months.
JANICE: Hey, come on. I'm his sister.
VECCHIO: Dump it out. Come on, empty it. [She dumps out her bag.] Sister, huh?
JANICE: Okay, I'm not his sister. I'm his housekeeper. [Behind her back, she grabs an empty whiskey bottle.]
VECCHIO: Done a fine job of tidying up.
JANICE: Thank you.
VECCHIO: Got a license, Hazel?
JANICE: Oh, God, you know what? I left it in my apron.
VECCHIO: Uch, I hate when that happens. Get it out.

She tosses him a clutch purse, and while he's trying to catch it, hits him in the head with the bottle and knocks him out. She loads the jewelry back into her back, steps over him, picks up her clutch purse, and is about to leave—but she comes back and takes his watch, too.

I don't know why they all think either (a) they will find the list somewhere in the apartment or (b) the fact that they can't find the list means there is no list. Assuming there is a list, isn't it valuable enough not to leave lying around?

I'm not a lawyer, but it looks from my preliminary research like if Janice would only get six months for stealing that platinum watch (from Eddie's home rather than from his person), it must be worth less than $500, which seems unlikely to me?

Scene 18

Christina is on the tour bus. Fraser is running after it.

GUIDE: Coming up on your left, Chicago's famous Water Tower, built in eighteen-sixty-nine and one of the only buildings to survive the great fire of eighteen-seventy-one, which destroyed four square miles of Chicago, killing over three hundred and leaving ninety thousand homeless.

Fraser is running. He is more or less keeping up with the bus.

GUIDE: . . . now toward Grant Park. If you look quickly to your right, you might catch a glimpse of the State of Illinois Center. . . .

A young man on the bus is looking at a guidebook and seeming confused.

CHRISTINA: What are you looking for?
YOUNG MAN: [with a heavy accent] The . . . uh, Tower, Water?
CHRISTINA: Oh, we just passed the Tower Water.
YOUNG MAN: You are from, uh . . . ?
CHRISTINA: Chicago. Born and raised.
YOUNG MAN: Chicago is, um, my kind of town.
GUIDE: . . . next year, the museum will be moving to its new larger home . . .

Fraser is still running.

GUIDE: . . . look out the windows on either side of the bus. Now, if you visit in March, you may notice the river is . . .
CHRISTINA: Do you need some help?
YOUNG MAN: Yeah, would you . . . ?
CHRISTINA: Yeah!

She scoots over and he sits next to her. Fraser jumps over a sawhorse blocking a manhole rather than just dodging around it. He keeps running.

GUIDE: . . . Grant Park, which is just over a mile . . .
CHRISTINA: Oh, look.
YOUNG MAN: What is it?
CHRISTINA: The moon.
YOUNG MAN: Moon? [He looks in his guidebook.] Is not in book.
CHRISTINA: No. Look. [They look at the moon.]
GUIDE: . . . originally known as Lake Park, the land was given to the city with the provision that it would remain public ground.

Eddie is lurking at the back of the top level, watching Christina and the young man look at the moon. Fraser is still running. He catches up with the bus and manages to grab it and jump on the back, where he is promptly blinded by the flashbulbs of pictures being taken by a half-dozen tourists and falls off the back of the bus. He grabs his hat and jumps on the front of a truck that stops rather than run over him.

FRASER: Could you follow that bus, please? Thank you.

Fraser hops up to sit on the nose of the truck like a figurehead on the prow of a ship. On the bus, Eddie is creeping closer to Christina and the young man.

GUIDE: . . . many battles have been fought over the years by industry and government to build on this land.
CHRISTINA: You want to hear something funny? I thought I was going to meet someone like you tonight.
YOUNG MAN: Latvian?
CHRISTINA: Yeah.
YOUNG MAN: Is it so?

Eddie slowly gets out his knife.

GUIDE: Thank you for traveling with Windy City Tours.
YOUNG MAN: It was, uh, very nice to meet you. I must go.
CHRISTINA: You too.

He gets off the bus. Christina watches him leave. A moment later, she gets off the bus herself. Eddie follows her.

The bus carries on driving. Fraser hops onto the bus from the prow of the truck.

GUIDE: For those staying on . . .

Fraser climbs up the back of the bus and interrupts a couple making out on the back seat of the upper deck.

FRASER: Please continue.

They do. He moves through the bus looking for Christina. Christina is walking on a crowded sidewalk. Fraser goes down to the lower deck of the bus and tips his hat to the tourists who took his picture before. He goes back up to the top deck. A car pulls up at a light in front of a department store. The little girl in the car has the "SMOKING KILLS" matchbook.

LITTLE GIRL'S MOM: Don't put those in your mouth, honey. Where'd you get those, huh?

She tosses the matchbook out the car window. Someone passing by steps on it, and it sticks to the bottom of their shoe as they head into a department store. Christina goes into the same store. Eddie flips his knife open and follows her.

Fraser is still on the top deck of the tour bus. He calls out to the whole city of Chicago.

FRASER: Christina!

Caption: To be continued . . .

This Latvian kid knows his Sinatra, eh? I've always liked "My Kind of Town"; I think it's what Sinatra's "New York, New York" is trying to be but only Liza Minnelli's "New York, New York" actually achieves. "My Kind of Town" is a love song to Chicago, and so is Minnelli's "New York, New York"; Sinatra's "New York, New York" already has New York in its pocket. It's smug and smarmy. There's no question whether he can make it there, so the song doesn't work. I don't hear any of that oiliness in "My Kind of Town", and it works a lot better for me.

Cumulative confirmed body count: 6
Red uniform: The whole episode, because this was a formal event (so it's minus the crossbody accessories, as well)

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