return to Due South: season 1 episode 12 "A Hawk and a Handsaw"
A Hawk and A Handsaw
air date January 19, 1995
Scene 1
Fraser and Vecchio are walking in a mental hospital hallway.
VECCHIO: You know, I have to do this every two years, and I still get the jitters.
FRASER: Trust your own judgment, Ray. Be honest with them.
VECCHIO: This is a psych review, Benny, not a confessional. Now, if you tell them what's really on your mind, you're gonna spend the rest of your career filling out traffic reports. Now, if I say "mother" to you, what's the first thing that pops into your mind?
FRASER: Father.
VECCHIO: "Brother"?
FRASER: Sister.
VECCHIO: Okay, that's good, because it's the easy ones they can trip you up on. [counts these on his fingers] Mother, father, brother, sister. Mother, father, brother, sister.
FRASER: Ray, these people are professionals. Won't they know if you've rehearsed your answers?
VECCHIO: Ah, they may suspect, but they won't be able to prove it. Now, I go in there unprepared and they say "brother" and I say "naked," I'm gonna be explaining myself away for the next two weeks.
FRASER: You'd say "naked"?
VECCHIO: Well, I'm talking hypothetically.
FRASER: Well, I'm sorry, Ray, it just sounds as though you were drawing upon personal experience.
VECCHIO: Well, you know, me and my brother, we used to take baths together when we were younger, but what's wrong with that?
FRASER: Well, nothing. It just seemed like an odd response.
VECCHIO: You see? You see? Even you're reading stuff into this. You say something innocent like that and the next thing you know they're trying to convince you that you have dreams of seeing your mother naked.
FRASER: You have dreams of your mother naked?
VECCHIO: I said "brother".
FRASER: You said "mother".
VECCHIO: I know what I said. I said "brother". It's my dream, I should know who's in it.
FRASER: Well, how long you been having this dream?
VECCHIO: There is no dream. I made it up.
FRASER: I'm sure it doesn't mean anything, Ray.
VOICE ON P.A. SYSTEM: All staff on fifth floor unit. All staff on fifth floor unit. Emergency.
Staff are running toward a window. Fraser turns back and watches where they're going.
FIRST NURSE: How did he get out of the ward?
SECOND NURSE: I don't know.
SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, NOT SPEAKING INTO A MICROPHONE: What happened?
FIRST NURSE: Jumper.
FRASER: What's his name?
FIRST NURSE: He's a John Doe.
Fraser goes and leans out an open window to talk to a bearded guy pacing on the ledge outside.
FRASER: Hi. [climbs out onto the ledge] How we doing today?
JUMPER: I can't find him!
FRASER: Who's that?
JUMPER: Oh, man, I gotta stop him. He's really gonna hurt himself.
FRASER: There's no one else out here.
JUMPER: Yes, there is. I saw him. He was out here. I saw him out here.
FRASER: Well, maybe I can help.
VECCHIO: [from the window] Don't go near him, Benny. He'll take you down with him.
JUMPER: Oh, how, how? How you gonna help?
FRASER: Well, I'm a Mountie.
JUMPER: A Mountie? Yeah, you don't look like a Mountie.
FRASER: Well, you know, the, the red uniform, it's really mostly for special occasions. Although they seem to insist that I wear mine more than —
JUMPER: You, that, you always get your man, then.
FRASER: You know, that's, that's a popular misconception. It really isn't our motto. It was invented by a writer of an early black-and-white movie. Our actual motto is "Maintain the Right," which, admittedly, may not be as —
VECCHIO: Benny!
FRASER: — ah, yes. Yes, we do often get our man.
JUMPER: Okay. He told me to meet him at the house. He wasn't there, and it's not my fault. It's not my fault that I was late, that I missed the bridge.
FRASER: No, that can happen.
JUMPER: That's right.
FRASER: Yeah.
JUMPER: So do you know where he is?
VECCHIO: Fraser, just tell him what he wants to hear.
FRASER: No, I don't.
JUMPER: Well, then, I am too late. [He goes to step off the ledge. Fraser catches his jacket and holds onto a drainpipe.] He's down there. He's down there, isn't he?
FRASER: No. He's inside. I saw him inside.
JUMPER: You saw Ty?
FRASER: Yes.
Vecchio gets the other window open and grabs the guy's leg. Together they manage to drag him inside. He loses one shoe, which falls to the ground. Inside, everyone is regrouping in the hallway.
SECOND NURSE: Where the hell is a doctor? Are they never around?
FIRST NURSE: Let's get you back to your ward, okay, bud?
JUMPER: Where is he? Where is Ty? Hey, he's not here. [to Fraser] Hey, where is Ty?
FRASER: I'm sorry.
JUMPER: Hey, you lied to me. Ty's not here! You lied to me.
FIRST NURSE: Come on.
JUMPER: [struggling] Why did you lie to me? Look, you've got to stop him for me. Ya gotta find him for me, please!
VECCHIO: What are you gonna do, huh?
FRASER: Find Ty.
News item: Apparently in addition to the two sisters who, like him, live with their mother, Vecchio has (or at any rate had) a brother. Also, I guess he's just ditching his biennial psych eval?
So Fraser has attempted to work undercover, which involved a certain amount of dishonesty that he didn't care for, and he has made promises that have turned out not to be true, but I think "He's inside, I saw him inside" is the first time we've seen him actually straight-up lie to someone's face, isn't it?
Credits roll.
Paul Gross
David Marciano
Beau Starr
Daniel Kash
Tony Craig
Catherine Bruhier
(plus Lincoln the dog)
Michael Riley, Kate Trotter, Terri Hanauer, Deborah Rennard, Shay Duffin
Scene 2
Vecchio's 1971 Riviera is driving around Chicago and eventually fetches up at the transit authority's headquarters.
VECCHIO: Oh, come on, Fraser, he said he was looking for Ty. For all we know, he could be looking for an article of clothing.
FRASER: Well, we start with what we know, Ray. We know from Elaine that John Doe was taken to the hospital after having been turned in by a bus driver.
VECCHIO: Yeah, five years ago.
I can't tell if the plaque on the outside of that building says Ita or lta, but whatever the first word is, either it's sufficiently greeked or it goes by sufficiently quickly that I can't see what it's supposed to be. The first letter isn't C and the first word isn't Chicago, so I conclude CTA didn't care to have their name used in this episode.
Scene 3
TRANSIT PROFESSIONAL: It's been almost that long since I was behind the wheel.
FRASER: You remember him?
TRANSIT PROFESSIONAL: Hard to forget. Poor guy. He rode my bus for weeks. Kept wanting me to take him to some house.
FRASER: Did you always drive the same route?
TRANSIT PROFESSIONAL: Route number nine. Never understood what he meant, though. Seemed harmless enough. He in some kind of trouble?
VECCHIO: No.
FRASER: Yes. What did he do?
TRANSIT PROFESSIONAL: Just ride it. One end to the other, looking out the window. I never made him pay. It didn't seem quite right, seeing as I was never actually taking him anywhere. Anyway, my shift ends and he wouldn't get off. Ah, kept saying I had to take him there now. I reached over to take his arm and he took a swing at me. He wouldn't get off no matter what. What could I do? I called the cops.
VECCHIO: Well, we don't have a record of any charges filed.
TRANSIT PROFESSIONAL: Nah. I didn't have the heart to lock him up. Cops said they'd take him to the psych ward for seventy-two hours, check him out. I figured, couple-three days with some doctors probably do him some good.
VECCHIO: Well he's been in there ever since. No ID, no name, no home, and possibly violent. He's one of the few they didn't dump back on the streets.
TRANSIT PROFESSIONAL: Jeez.
FRASER: Do you remember where he wanted to go?
TRANSIT PROFESSIONAL: No, uh, I don't know, uh, Mark's house, Marty's house, uh . . . it's been five years.
FRASER: Well, we appreciate your time.
TRANSIT PROFESSIONAL: Listen, fellas, if I knew they were gonna lock him up, I never would've made that call, you know? I mean, I might have just — Mike's house. That's it. He wanted to go to Mike's house. I can't believe I remembered that. Human mind, pretty wild thing, huh?
FRASER: Yes, it is.
Redirect police funding to other necessary social services, and do it 27 years ago.
Scene 4
Fraser and Vecchio are leaving the ?TA building. Fraser has a bus route map.
VECCHIO: Why are you doing this to me, Fraser?
FRASER: Well, I told him I'd help.
VECCHIO: You tell that to everybody.
Vecchio is not wrong! (The camera is still on the building for a lot longer than it was in scene 2, and I still can't make out the first word of the transit authority's name, so my conclusion is: Greeking it is.)
Scene 5
Fraser and Vecchio are on a bus.
VECCHIO: So what are we going to do? Sit on this bus until Ty gets on?
FRASER: You know, I looked into that man's eyes when I was on that ledge, Ray, and I saw a man who was lost. You can lose your job, you can lose your home, and it can be devastating, but if you lose yourself, you have nothing.
VECCHIO: Fraser, the guy was looking for Mike's house on a bus that travels a twelve-mile circuit. Do you have any idea how many Mikes live on this bus route? No. And neither do I, and neither does anybody.
FRASER: We're on the wrong bus.
VECCHIO: This is the number nine.
FRASER: No, he couldn't find the house again because he was on the wrong bus. He needed to make a transfer.
VECCHIO: Oh, is that what it says there? Transfer here to Mike's house?
FRASER: No. He told us. He said he was late because he missed the bridge.
They get off the bus near a drawbridge and wait at the stop. It is snowing.
VECCHIO: Okay, so let's say he transfers here. Seven bus routes pass over this bridge. How are we going to know which bus he took?
A bus pulls up. Its door opens.
FRASER: Excuse me. Ah, can you take us to Mike's house, please?
The bus door closes in their faces.
VECCHIO: [as the bus drives away] Don't you think you're being a wee bit desperate?
FRASER: Well, since he asked the bus driver to take him to Mike's house, he must have had reason to think that the bus driver knew where Mike's house was.
VECCHIO: Fraser, there's a guy on my corner who asks me every morning if I've seen God. Do you think he really expects me to point him out?
FRASER: Well, you know, if you did, Ray, perhaps he'd stop asking. [Vecchio considers this. Another bus drives up.] Ah, excuse me. Could you take us to Mike's house, please? [The bus door closes in their faces.] He didn't seem to know where it was. Ah, here comes another one.
They are sitting down on a bus.
FRASER: Well, it did take seven tries, Ray.
VECCHIO: I'm telling you, the guy's taking us for a ride. He has no idea where Mike's house is. He's probably gonna drop us off in the middle of nowhere and laugh himself sick all the way back downtown.
FRASER: I wonder what Ty was doing that Mr. Doe felt he needed to stop.
VECCHIO: Fraser, the guy's insane. He could be talking about Ty Cobb or Tai Babilonia. Maybe he wants her to stop figure skating, which by the way I prefer all men to stop doing immediately.
BUS DRIVER: This is your stop. Around the corner, first house on the right, you can't miss it.
FRASER: Thank you kindly.
VECCHIO: Yep, I can hear him laughing already. [They go around the corner, where the first lot on the right is vacant.] What did I tell you? [He runs after the bus.] Stop! Stop, police! Stop! Police! Stop! I'm going to bust this guy for something.
BUS DRIVER: [stops the bus and opens the door] What's the problem?
VECCHIO: There's nothing there, Chuckles.
BUS DRIVER: They must have moved. Explains why nobody's asked to go there in years.
FRASER: Do you know where Mike is?
BUS DRIVER: I think he was killed in the fourteenth century.
VECCHIO: Oh, great, at least now we got a murder investigation on our hands.
BUS DRIVER: Sit down, sit down, I'll take you to the church.
Aha, a church, so we're talking about Saint Michael, of whom there are nine in addition to St. Michael the Archangel (plus a Saint Miguel, 14 Blessed Michaels, two Blessed Michels, a Blessed Michele, and four Blessed Miguels)—not one of whom died in the 14th century, but never mind. Joan of Arc heard the Archangel Michael speak to her, which I feel like there's a connection there with the guy who asks Vecchio if he's seen God.
Meanwhile, Ty Cobb was an early baseball player whose bad reputation may be undeserved, and Tai Babilonia was a figure skater in the late 70s (and I don't know why mentioning her would lead Vecchio to assert that all men should stop figure skating, unless it was because she was a pairs skater).
Scene 6
Fraser and Vecchio are in St. Michael's Catholic Cathedral talking to an Irish priest.
PRIEST: St. Michael's Halfway House for Troubled Juveniles. I thought that a little stuffy. Apparently so did the rest of the kids. Now they just call it Mike's House. The first one burnt down about four years ago. We couldn't afford to rebuild, so we just rented a place and opened up again. Too many of our young people are turning to crime. We try to subtly put a little bit of spirituality back into them. If they don't see it coming, they may not know it happened. I just wish it had happened for Ty.
VECCHIO: Was he a bad kid?
PRIEST: No, just took to drugs. Showed great promise. Natural athlete. Looked after his brother Walter. Now, Walter made all city. Now, there was a nice boy. [showing Fraser a photo album]
FRASER: May I? Ray? [shows it to Ray]
PRIEST: You know him?
FRASER: Yes. Do you know where we could find Ty?
PRIEST: He died about five years ago.
FRASER: I'm sorry. [He and Ray look at the pictures for a moment.] Well, thank you, Father, you've been a great help.
PRIEST: You're welcome.
VECCHIO: [does a Columbo] Oh — so, ah, how did he die?
PRIEST: Suicide. Climbed out on the ledge of his apartment. Jumped. Walter took it very hard. Blamed himself.
FRASER: He was late.
PRIEST: Yes. Got home from work a few minutes after it happened. Poor lad, I haven't seen him in years. I hope he's doing well. If you see him, tell him to drop by.
FRASER: I will. Thank you, Father.
PRIEST: God bless.
I am not qualified to judge the authenticity of Irish accents, so I'm here to tell you that Uncle Wiki says the actor playing the priest, Shay Duffin (1931–2010), was legit from Dublin.
Scene 7
Fraser and Vecchio are returning to the mental hospital.
VECCHIO: So what are you gonna tell him?
FRASER: Well, I don't know if he'll hear it, but I owe him the truth: that his brother died five years ago, and there never was anyone on that ledge. [He is distracted by a patch of sidewalk under where the jumper—Walter—was about to jump.] This concrete is white.
VECCHIO: Well, it's a color we like to use for sidewalks in America.
FRASER: You know, the Inuit have sixty words to describe snow, Ray. One-third of them concern the color.
VECCHIO: Eskimos don't have a lot to do in the winter, huh?
FRASER: You compare this patch with the rest, I think you'll discover this area has been bleached. [sniffs the concrete] And recently. Someone was on that ledge, Ray. And they ended up here.
Credit for singular they; demerits for the words-for-snow myth.
Scene 8
Fraser and Vecchio (and Diefenbaker) are in the Riviera.
VECCHIO: Look, just let it go, okay, Fraser? His brother killed himself, and then he went nuts. Now, I feel for the guy, but overly clean cement is not enough evidence to open —
FRASER: I think he saw someone on that ledge, Ray. The similarity between the incidents made him believe that it was his brother —
VECCHIO: This guy is crazy.
FRASER: Delusional people don't simply make things up.
VECCHIO: Yes, they do. That's the unique quality that makes them delusional.
FRASER: No, no, what I mean is that their delusions are usually grounded in something drawn from the real world. They may be distorted, they may be exaggerated, they may be joggled, they may be romanticized —
VECCHIO: All right, all right. If somebody jumped, where's the body?
FRASER: Well, I'm sure it'll show up.
ELAINE: [on the radio] Vecchio, they just fished a body out of the Chicago River near Michigan. Lieutenant says he'll meet you down there.
VECCHIO: On the way. [to Fraser] Look, that doesn't prove anything, okay? Bodies turn up every day in this city.
FRASER: No, I'm sure that's the case.
VECCHIO: Oh, all right, what's your theory? The guy jumped from the fifth floor of the hospital, caught a thermal updraft, and flew the sixteen blocks to the river?
FRASER: Well, that's just silly, Ray.
VECCHIO: It's a joke.
Vecchio's frustration with Fraser is visible here. He's spent a while indulging him, but now he's had it.
Scene 9
At the river bank, police are policing, bystanders are standing by, etc. Welsh is behind the caution tape.
WELSH: Morning, Detective.
VECCHIO: Ah, morning, Lieutenant.
WELSH: You know, I was trying to figure out why I missed you so much yesterday afternoon. Then I realized, you weren't there. Now perhaps you can explain, Detective, how an entire working day can go by without you doing any actual police work.
VECCHIO: A missing person, sir.
WELSH: Who?
VECCHIO: Ty.
WELSH: Ty.
VECCHIO: Yes, sir.
WELSH: Babilonia?
VECCHIO: Uh, no, sir.
WELSH: Ah, it's too bad. We don't see enough of her anymore.
VECCHIO: Ah, no, we don't, sir.
WELSH: You are aware we have a naked corpse over there?
VECCHIO: Uh, yes, I am, sir. Oh — I'll, uh, I'll go check that out, sir.
WELSH: Good thinking.
Vecchio goes over to where the medical examiner is examining the body.
VECCHIO: Got a cause of death?
MEDICAL EXAMINER: You want to know before tomorrow? Talk to a Gypsy.
VECCHIO: All right, look, see the Mountie over there? Tell him he drowned.
MEDICAL EXAMINER: Forget it.
VECCHIO: Come on, there's no law against lying to Canadians. I'd owe you one.
MEDICAL EXAMINER: Like you'd ever have something I'd want.
FRASER: It would appear he was dead before he hit the water.
VECCHIO: You haven't even looked at the body yet.
FRASER: Good morning, Dr. Pearson. Am I right?
VECCHIO: The Ice Maiden ain't talking.
MEDICAL EXAMINER (DR. PEARSON): You're right.
VECCHIO: Now, look, I'm saying he jumped off the bridge and died on impact.
FRASER: Although I doubt that he'd take off all his clothes before jumping. Multiple fractures, twenty, twenty-one, possibly twenty-three broken bones.
DR. PEARSON: You hit water from high enough and it's like landing on pavement.
FRASER: By high enough, you mean . . . ?
DR. PEARSON: A lot higher than that bridge.
FRASER: And if he did land on concrete?
DR. PEARSON: Maybe fifty feet?
FRASER: Five stories. [to Vecchio] It's the exact height of that ledge. Thank you. [to Diefenbaker] Diefenbaker. [Diefenbaker whines.] Diefenbaker, come. [Diefenbaker whines again.] I'm terribly sorry about this, but you see, in the village where he grew up, there were very few people with blonde hair, and as a result, ever since we've come to Chicago he's been . . . how shall I put this . . . transfixed. Anyway, that's not the problem. The problem is that he has a tendency to take advantage of situations. [to Diefenbaker] You cannot expect her to give you a lift home just because the others did. Dr. Pearson's a very busy person.
DR. PEARSON: Oh, no, I'd be glad to.
FRASER: No, although it's very kind of you, but you see, that would play right into his tendency to manipulate. [Diefenbaker grumbles.]
DR. PEARSON: It's no problem.
FRASER: Well, thank you, Dr. Pearson.
DR. PEARSON: Esther. [Diefenbaker barks.]
FRASER: Esther Pearson? You wouldn't in any way be related to —
DR. PEARSON: No.
FRASER: No, of course you wouldn't. Thank you kindly. [He goes back to Vecchio.] Ray. Whoever dumped that body didn't want us to know who he was or where he came from.
VECCHIO: Ah, Fraser, I'm begging you, please.
FRASER: There's something going on inside that hospital, Ray.
VECCHIO: You're crazy!
FRASER: That's a good idea.
Lester Pearson (1897–1972) was an important Canadian prime minister in the 1960s and a Nobel laureate for his role in ending the 1956 Suez crisis. The Toronto airport is named after him. Neither his daughter nor any of his granddaughters was named Esther. After the Mackenzie King business (and the fact that his dog is named Diefenbaker), one is forced to conclude that Fraser is hung up on prime ministers. Or, put another way:
FOZZIE: [on stage, bombing]
KERMIT: This guy's lost.
BARTENDER: Maybe he should try Hare Krishna.
KERMIT: Good grief, it's a running gag.
(The Muppet Movie, 1979)I would prefer that Esther Pearson had not used that particular G-word, which has been officially dispreferred by the Romani people since 1971 (and of course probably unofficially since long before that). If she meant a dark-skinned itinerant, she could have said Roma; if she meant a fortune teller, she could have said fortune teller. Vecchio's use of "Eskimo" in scene 7 was not great, but it's arguably less problematic than this.
Scene 10
Fraser is back at the mental hospital having an intake interview. The psychologist smiles encouragingly at him.
PSYCHOLOGIST: So you're a Mountie, are you?
FRASER: Constable. Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Yes.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Here in Chicago.
FRASER: Well, you see, I used to live in the Yukon, but I uncovered a plot that involved drowning caribou, and then some men who were dressed in white came after me with homicidal intentions. It's a rather long story — it takes exactly two hours to tell — but the upshot of it is that I was sent here. [leans across the table; confidentally] I think I embarrassed some people in the government.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Do you have anyone who can vouch for you here?
FRASER: Well, yes, there's my wolf. Although I'm not sure he would vouch for me. If you know anything about lupine behavior, you know how moody they are, and on top of that, he's deaf.
PSYCHOLOGIST: [She surreptitiously presses a button under her table.] Name?
FRASER: I'd rather not say. [A nurse comes and takes Fraser by the shoulders.] Ah.
He picks up his hat and goes quietly. The psychologist fills in his name as "John Doe."
I . . . am now trying to think of other films or TV shows whose premises could be described exactly truthfully in such a way as to get a person admitted to a psych ward for observation.
Scene 11
The jumper (Walter) is in a therapy appointment. He is fussing with his watch. The doctor is sitting at the window looking at a file.
JUMPER (WALTER): I couldn't stop him. And, uh — I should have been there.
DOCTOR: John, you couldn't stop something from happening that didn't happen.
WALTER: No, no. He was there. I, I saw him out there.
DOCTOR: [comes back to the table where Walter is sitting] John, do you remember when you first came here? Do you remember what you said?
WALTER: See, I think I've got to do something.
DOCTOR: This is your file, John. Take a look at it. You see what it says there? Says you were looking for Ty. You wanted to stop him.
WALTER: Yes, but, you see, I saw him, uh, oh, it was yesterday. I saw him yesterday.
DOCTOR: Look at the file, John. That was five years ago. He couldn't have been out there, not yesterday, not the day before.
WALTER: [looking at the file] Yeah. It's very clear.
DOCTOR: You've been getting a lot better lately, John. A lot better, you know that? You don't want to go back to the way you were, I know that.
WALTER: No, no, I really don't.
DOCTOR: So. [sits in the chair, faces Walter, smiles pleasantly] What did you see on the ledge?
WALTER: Uh . . . nothing.
DOCTOR: You're doing just fine.
Ugh, is this how this sort of mental condition is handled? I have no experience of it, but this scene is wildly uncomfortable. I just want Walter to shout THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!.
Scene 12
In another office, the doctor who was speaking to Walter and a professional woman in a suit are watching Walter's session on a videotape.
WOMAN: Is he in the test group?
DOCTOR: Yes. You won't have any problems with him. Our problem is with your drug. Five suicides now. That's totally unacceptable in a sample of fifty.
WOMAN (DRUG REP): Forty-five patients with marked improvement. I prefer to see the glass as half full.
DOCTOR: Do you think this is a joke?
DRUG REP: Ah, no, Will. What I think is that you're overreacting.
DOCTOR (WILL): Overreacting? We have a body dumped in the river and that — how the hell did I let this happen?
DRUG REP: How many manic depressants are in this country?
WILL: I don't want to hear this speech again.
DRUG REP: You know as well as I do that nothing, not a drug out there, can help them as much as this one has helped those people in there.
WILL: But it's killing them for God's sakes. Five people have taken their lives!
DRUG REP: Five people who had suicidal tendencies before you even put them on this drug. You know that. There is nothing in the material that links eighty-forty with —
WILL: Oh, come on, we're writing the material. And we keep sanitizing it. Every death is just swept under the rug.
DRUG REP: The trials will be over soon. In two weeks we'll go to the FDA, and it'll be out of your hands.
WILL: Sure, and you'll go on to kill how many more people?
DRUG REP: You know damn well that even if they approve it tomorrow, this thing won't hit the market for another two years. And by then we'll reduce the risk factor to acceptable levels. But if we have to start over again, my company can't afford another five years of testing. We'll go under. And with us will go a drug that could have done a hell of a lot of people a hell of a lot of good, and your stock won't be worth a damn thing. Who knows about the jumper?
WILL: Just one of the psychiatric assistants.
DRUG REP: Danny?
WILL: Yeah.
DRUG REP: He's a good man. I'll take care of him. Okay, he was a John Doe right?
WILL: Yes.
DRUG REP: Then find another one. Give him the same patient number. Fifty patients need to come through this test, Will. Fifty living patients. It's only two more weeks. You find me a John Doe.
The drug company representative comes out of the doctor's office into the hallway; his door is labeled "Dr. Martins." As she walks down the hall, Fraser and the nurse who brought him out of the intake interview are coming the other way. The nurse hands Fraser's file to Will (Dr. Martins), who looks in it and sees that Fraser himself has been named John Doe. Fraser looks back from the other side of the locked door into the ward and tips his hat.
Well, this sure the hell isn't how drug tests are supposed to be run. I mean, obviously, because the noir-y lighting and the fact that she's fine with 10% of her sample group killing themselves shows us that the show knows she's filthy. But for crying out loud. N=50 is not a good sample size for the last stage of trials before FDA approval. It seems like it might be an acceptable size for phase 1 trials, where they determine whether the drug is safe for humans in the first place? But that doesn't seem to be what's happening here? Why on earth do the doctors know who's in the test group and who's in the control group? Where is the control group? What about informed consent from the test subjects?! I have a lot of notes, and I'm not even an expert.
Scene 13
In the hospital hallway. Some patients are queuing; others are wandering about. A nurse is corralling them kindly. Fraser and the post-intake nurse come along.
POST-INTAKE: You get in line here, and they'll give you your medicine.
FRASER: Thank you kindly.
POST-INTAKE: Now, you behave, and we're gonna get along just fine. You act up, we gonna have to take away your privileges.
FRASER: What privileges might those be?
POST-INTAKE: You want to keep wearing that hat?
FRASER: I prefer to.
POST-INTAKE: Then you be a good boy and take all your medicine.
FRASER: Oh. So I shall. [He gets in line behind Walter, who is reading a book. A patient in a ski hat comes and joins him.]
SKI HAT: Psst. Don't take your feet off the ground.
FRASER: Okay.
SKI HAT: If you take your feet off the ground, they can kill you.
FRASER: Really?
SKI HAT: They've been trying to kill me for years. But I sleep with my feet on the ground. Rubber soles, they insulate against electricity.
FRASER: You're absolutely correct.
SKI HAT: I know.
FRASER: [to Walter] Hi.
WALTER: Hi. You're the guy from the ledge.
FRASER: Yes. I would prefer that no one else knew.
WALTER: So you're, you're a patient here?
FRASER: I was admitted for evaluation.
WALTER: Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
FRASER: Who was it you saw on that ledge? [Walter doesn't answer.] You'd rather not talk about it.
WALTER: Listen, you just got here, okay, so you don't know anything, believe me. I've been here a long time, man. I just want to get better and get out.
FRASER: Are you?
WALTER: Are I what?
FRASER: Getting better.
WALTER: It doesn't matter what I think.
FRASER: I would've thought that's the only thing that matters.
SKI HAT: Don't worry about him. Doesn't know what he knows.
The patient behind Ski Hat, a young guy with sideburns, notices Fraser.
SIDEBURNS: Yeah, you don't look like Winston.
FRASER: Well, I'm not.
SIDEBURNS: You're on his spot. That — that is Winston's spot.
FRASER: What happened to Winston?
SIDEBURNS: He wouldn't tell them his name. They killed him.
SKI HAT: Took his feet off the ground.
SIDEBURNS: You standing in his spot, they take you to the Blue Room.
WALTER: There's no blue room. But don't listen to me, I don't know what I know.
SIDEBURNS: Actually, I don't know what I know, neither. [The line moves forward.]
SKI HAT: Shuffle.
FRASER: Oh, right.
I'm choosing to believe the guy in the ski hat is a nod to Jack Nicholson's character on the poster for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Meanwhile, Fraser is wearing white hospital jammies and a white robe (and his Mountie hat), with covers over his shoes, but the other guys are in street clothes and their own shoes. Wonder what that's about.
The nurse who is kindly guiding patients hither and thither appears to be played by the same background/atmosphere extra who was getting her picture taken with Fraser in "Manhunt" scene 17—a very tall woman with dark hair and the same smile.
Scene 14
A nurse in a cabled sweater is giving the patients medicine and water in dosing cups.
CABLED SWEATER: [to Walter] Here you go, John. All right. [to Fraser, who is next in line] Hi, who are you?
FRASER: I'd rather not say.
POST-INTAKE: It's John Doe.
CABLED SWEATER: No, there must be a mistake here.
POST-INTAKE: No, no, no, no, no, it's right here. Number thirty-six.
CABLED SWEATER: [She goes into the office and looks on a computer screen. Fraser watches this and then smiles pleasantly. She comes back and gives him a dosing cup and a cup of water.] Nobody tells me anything.
FRASER: Can you tell me where the Blue Room is?
CABLED SWEATER: Oh, sorry, there's no blue rooms on this ward. Only beige. It's supposed to be calming.
FRASER: Ah. [He tips the pill from the dosing cup into his mouth and starts to walk away.]
POST-INTAKE: Yo, whoa, whoa, whoa. [Fraser stops.] Drink your water. [Fraser takes a sip of water.] The whole thing. [Fraser looks him in the eye and drinks the whole cup of water, then turns and walks off.]
Cabled Sweater remembers a different patient #36. But also, she has a tray of identical dose cups, which is bad and wrong. Shouldn't she have sealed packets labeled with each patient's name or patient number or something individually identifiable? When my mom was in residential rehab they had to scan her meds into her room, verbally confirm her name and date of birth and what medications she was expecting, and then scan them again before opening the packet and giving them to her. I'm frothing with rage over here at how this place is being run.
Scene 15
Vecchio is waiting in the visiting room. Cabled Sweater brings Fraser out to see him.
VECCHIO: Your friend the Ice Maiden finally served up an autopsy report on the John Doe by the river.
FRASER: Cause of death?
VECCHIO: He was struck by a blunt object. Probably a sidewalk. And the pharmacology report turned up something interesting in his system. The M.E. called it some kind of MAO inhibitor. No buzz, so no street value.
FRASER: Prescription?
VECCHIO: FDA has no record of it. Completely unregistered.
FRASER: I think I know what it is. [He reaches down his throat and pulls out his pill.]
VECCHIO: Ew! How long has that been in there?
FRASER: Two and a half hours. [He cracks his neck.]
VECCHIO: Don't those things dissolve?
FRASER: The key is to control your saliva ducts. They've been giving this to every patient on the ward. [He tries to hand the pill to Vecchio, who wigs a bit.]
VECCHIO: Just put it in there. [He holds open his shirt pocket. Fraser drops the pill in.] I'll check it out. [They sit side by side for a moment.] Well, so, how's the food? [Fraser gives Vecchio a Look.]
The shot where they're sitting on the sofa in the visiting room, framed by the doorway into the hall, reminds me of something and I can't think what. I am having further flail-hands reactions at the concept of testing MAOIs on human subjects without their consent and without additional monitoring.
Meanwhile,
resonant points out that if Fraser can control his saliva ducts, there is nothing you can write about him that would be unrealistic by canon standards. 🤨
Scene 16
In the day room, the patients are watching The Adventures of Rin-Tin-Tin. Well. It is playing. The patients are variously watching it, rocking, staring into space, etc. Fraser goes into the room under the watchful eye of Cabled Sweater. He goes and sits at a card table with Ski Hat and Walter.
FRASER: Hi. Hi. How we doing today?
WALTER: Some days are better than others.
FRASER: Can I ask you a question? Do you know how long you've been in here?
WALTER: I'm insane, not stupid.
FRASER: Sorry.
WALTER: Yeah, today I know.
FRASER: Can we talk about Ty? [Walter shakes his head.] What was Winston like?
SKI HAT: Quiet. He never talked. Paranoid.
FRASER: Oh, so what happened to him? [Sideburns realizes Fraser is there and comes over to join them.]
WALTER: Why are you asking us all these things?
FRASER: You were here. You see things.
SIDEBURNS: I know where it is.
FRASER: What's that?
SIDEBURNS: Kramer. He went to the Blue Room.
WALTER: You don't know anything.
SIDEBURNS: So where's Kramer, then?
SKI HAT: Don't go to the Blue Room.
FRASER: Is that where Winston went?
SKI HAT: I told him not to take his feet off the floor.
WALTER: There is no blue room.
SIDEBURNS: What do you know? You're delusional.
FRASER: Can you show me where it is?
SIDEBURNS: You believe me?
FRASER: Yes.
SIDEBURNS: You're scaring me.
SKI HAT: I'll go with you. Come on, come on. Feet on the floor.
FRASER: Right. [Fraser, Ski Hat, and Sideburns get up to go.]
WALTER: You guys are wasting your time.
Scene 17
Sideburns opens a door and shows Fraser a room. Music cue: "Akua Tuta" by Kashtin. Nothing about this room is blue.
FRASER: This is the Blue Room? [Sideburns nods. Ski Hat shakes his head.]
SKI HAT: Come here, come here.
Ski Hat leads Fraser and Sideburns down the hall. A woman in a floral house dress shuffles after them. Ski Hat shows them a windowed door to a stairwell.
FRASER: This is it?
SKI HAT: That's right.
Floral Dress flaps her hands and does not agree. She leads them somewhere else.
Akua tuta, akua tuta
Akua tuta tshekuan kaminekuin
Akua tuta
The group opens a door to a linen closet. A small crowd has gathered behind Fraser.
FRASER: The Blue Room?
SOMEONE IN THE BACK: Yeah, that's it.
Floral Dress shakes her head violently.
Naketuenta kiei tshin tshekuan
Kanetaunekuin
The group is growing. They open the door to the patients' washroom.
FLORAL DRESS: Don't ever go in there.
SKI HAT: Unless you really have to.
Other patients are pointing down the hall, wanting to show Fraser more blue rooms. They go past Cabled Sweater's office; she is interested in this field trip he seems to be leading.
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
(Instrumental bridge.)
A PATIENT AT THE BACK OF THE CROWD: Which way did he go?
HIS BUDDY, WHO MAY HAVE A COMPASS: North by northwest.
WILL (DR. MARTINS): [coming out of the office] What was that all about?
CABLED SWEATER: I think they're tracking something.
DR. MARTINS: Huh.
Fraser leans over from another corridor and waves to the group.
FRASER: Hello! This way. [They all turn and follow him.]
Akua tuta
Akua tuta tshekuan kakunuene mekuin
DR. MARTINS: Well, keep an eye on the new one, willya? Could be dangerous.
Akua tuta
Naketuanta kiei tshin tshekuan kauitshikuin
The group has led Fraser to the window that leads to the ledge where he first met Walter.
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
FRASER: The Blue Room.
SOMEONE (VO): Yeah. This is the Blue Room.
The song lyrics are in Innu-aimun, and LyricsMode says the translation is "Be careful what you do/ Be careful what you do with the thing that has given to you/ Be careful what you do/ Be careful what you do, the way you were raised// Be careful what you do/ Be careful what you do with the thing you protect/ Be careful what you do/ Be careful what you do with the thing which has helped you." (The montage ends before the last verse, Akua tshe tessinnu/ Akua tuta nete kiei tshin kanetaunekuin/ Akua tshe mushumenut/ Akua kiei tshukumenut eshei/ Akua tshe tuassimenut/ Akua kiei tsheshimenut eshei, "Take care of our land/ Be careful what you do, the way you were raised/ Take care of our grandfathers/ Take care of our grandmothers too/ Take care of your children and your brother and sister's children too".
The image of all the patients joining Fraser's group is so lovely and so sad. Every one of them has a blue room to show him, and they're so desperate for someone to listen.
Scene 18
Fraser is in his room writing on a very small piece of paper. Walter goes by his door a couple of times.
FRASER: Hi.
WALTER: Hi.
FRASER: Come on in. One of the patients said something, and I was just trying to remember where I heard it. My father used to quote it. It's from Hamlet. "I am but mad north-northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know the difference between a hawk and a handsaw."
WALTER: You're not helping them, you know. People see things. Sometimes they do, but that doesn't mean that they're real. That doesn't mean that it happened.
FRASER: Well, I'm not sure about that. Quite often I see things that nobody else seems to.
WALTER: Well, that's why you're here.
FRASER: [chuckling] Yes, I suppose so. [Walter looks out the window.] It's a curious thing, reality, isn't it?
WALTER: Yup.
FRASER: So much of the time it just seems to be a matter of what you believe. If a lot of people believe in something, then that becomes reality, at least for them. And then some people find it easier to make a new reality. Especially if the truth is too painful. But I think you know that, don't you, Walter?
WALTER: That who I am?
FRASER: No. That's just your name. Walter Sparks. But I don't need to know your name to know who you are.
WALTER: Well, I'm not who you think I am.
FRASER: It wasn't your fault.
WALTER: Yes, it was. I was late.
FRASER: Ty made his own decision.
WALTER: Yeah, sometimes that's clear. Sometimes it is. But sometimes I think, uh, it probably would have been easier if I'd killed myself.
FRASER: Maybe it would have been. [Walter starts to leave.] You know, my mother died when I was very young. I don't remember a lot about that time except . . . except my father's beard. I don't remember him crying or talking about her. I just woke up one morning and I noticed he had a beard, and it kept getting longer and longer, and he got thinner, and he stopped going to work . . . my mother died, and my father stopped living. And then one morning I woke up, and there was a breakfast waiting for me at the table. Oatmeal and, ah — sliced banana. And he was clean-shaven, and he was crying. [He looks out the window.]
WALTER: Well, your dad was a very strong man.
FRASER: [shakes his head a bit] He just woke up, and the wind was from the south. And he found he still knew the difference between a hawk and a handsaw.
First of all, the line from Hamlet is "I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw." Which I carp on only because I don't believe the grandson of librarians Benton "World of Information at your Local Library, Ray" Fraser would (a) have to try to remember where he'd heard a line of Shakespeare or (b) misquote it.
Anyway. Fraser is right to tell Walter that Ty made his own decision. It's the hardest thing, isn't it, for people who love someone who dies by suicide, to accept that they couldn't have stopped it. (I read an article once about Beachy Head (I think), a cliff in England from which people often jump to their deaths. I remember an anecdote where someone had told his friend he was going to jump, and the friend tried to stop him—caught him by the arm or maybe just by the sleeve—and the jumping friend said if you don't let go, you'll fall with me . . . and the grabbing friend let go. I read that 34 years ago and I can still practically see the words on the page, is how it haunts me. I'm almost sure it will have been in the weekend magazine attached to The Independent in 1988 or early 1989, but I haven't been able to find it, despite the miraculous internet.) Fraser's agreeing with Walter that it might have been easier if he had subsequently killed himself may be true, but it is a breathtakingly shitty thing to say.
And then we have the tale of Bob Fraser's beard. So okay: Ben's mother did die, and it was when he was "very young," which is nonspecific but I'm going to say puts him younger than nine or ten. But old enough to have memories of the event, so older than about . . . four? I mean that could easily be his earliest memory, and a trauma like losing your mother would likely stick even if it happened at an earlier age than kids normally have earliest memories. I have some clear memories from when I turned three, because that's when my brother was born—a big event, if not a traumatic one—but not a lot. So let's say Ben was between four or five and about nine when his mother died. [eta: As
That's young enough, of course, to still be entirely dependent on his other parent. But Bob apparently entirely quit parenting (quit living entirely, the way Ben describes it) for at least several weeks—long enough for a young kid to see his beard growing longer and to be able to tell he was losing weight. I mean, look, I think I get it: Widowhood is a terrible thing, whether you're expecting it or not (we don't know how she died, whether it was following an illness or in an accident or what), and if Ben was younger than 10 then Bob was younger than about 40, which means probably so was his wife. A terrible shock. But he still had a young child that he was responsible for. Unless Ben was already living with his grandparents by then (but why would he have been? That only makes sense if the whole family were living with the grandparents) so at least there'd have been two other adults capable of making sure this kid got fed and bathed and schooled while his father was in this fugue state. (Two adults who'd also just lost either their daughter or their daughter-in-law, but with three adults in the house, it seems like the kid has a fighting chance of not being completely forgotten.) Fraser describes his father's grief very sympathetically for someone who was apparently so overlooked during that time. The only indication otherwise is when Walter says "your dad was a very strong man" and he shakes his head just ever so slightly (not really, no he wasn't). I'm going to choose to believe that what Bob was crying about, after he shaved his beard and sliced that banana into that bowl of oatmeal, was both the loss of his wife and the way he had been neglecting his son.
Also, I can never see this scene without thinking about Hawkeye Pierce in M*A*S*H season 10 episode 19 "Sons and Bowlers," when his father is having surgery back home in Maine:
One morning when I was ten, my dad made me breakfast. A bowl of cornflakes. And I—I asked him why Mom wasn't making breakfast that morning. And he said she wasn't feeling well, but it was nothing. And a few days later, he made me scrambled eggs and bacon and said that Mom was in the hospital, but it was nothing to worry about. By the time Dad was up to French toast and sausages, Mom was gone. He never wanted to worry me. Nothing's changed since I was ten. This is just another fancy breakfast.
(And, later in the same episode, here's Charles Winchester:
Pierce, you should be grateful that only distance is separating you. My father and I have been twelve thousand miles apart in the same room. . . . The most intimate and personal communication at the Winchester household took place at the evening meal. Every night, promptly at seven-fifteen, we would gather at the dinner table. The soup would be served, and my father would begin with, "Tell us what you did today, Charles." As the elder of the two children, I was given the privilege of speaking first. I would then have until the salad to report the highlights of my day. Even now, the sight of lettuce makes me talk faster. I always assumed that that's how it was in every family. But when I see the warmth, the closeness, the fun of your relationship—my father's a good man. He always wanted the best for me. But where I have a father, you have a dad.)
I don't know, TV heroes and their (in two out of three cases) single fathers. I'm going to have to think more about it.
Scene 19
The post-intake nurse shows Fraser into a room where Vecchio is waiting for him.
POST-INTAKE: Visiting room's being painted. You can meet in here.
VECCHIO: [as soon as he's gone] Got the lab results back on those pills. You were right. It's the same drug.
FRASER: They must be conducting clinical tests here. The man you pulled out of the river, his name was Winston. The drug was connected to his death, and I think they are covering it up in order to falsify test results. Now what I haven't been able to figure out is where the Blue Room is. Somehow, it's associated with the deaths.
VECCHIO: Okay, only one problem with your theory. The lab says no way the drug is lethal. Worst case, it may cause some depression.
FRASER: I didn't listen to what they were telling me. Well, I did, but I, I, I, I listened with my eyeballs.
VECCHIO: You know, you're really beginning to scare me.
FRASER: You know, Ray, all communication is a code of one kind or another. If you don't understand the language, well, it makes no sense. They weren't talking about the color blue, they were talking about the emotion. The drug causes depression. They went into the blue room. They killed themselves.
VECCHIO: Okay, I'll be back in twenty with a warrant. [He opens the door to go out. Fraser sees that the wall next to the door has a peephole.]
FRASER: Ray. Who did you tell that you were coming here?
VECCHIO: Uh, nobody, why? [The post-intake nurse grabs him and holds a gun to his throat.] I misunderstood the question. I told everybody I know. I told the state's attorney, I told the sheriff, I even told my mother.
POST-INTAKE: [to Dr. Martins] Another John Doe? [Dr. Martins nods.] All right.
You listened with your retinas, Fraser, but okay, I'll allow it.
Scene 20
Post-Intake throws Fraser and Vecchio into a padded cell. They are both bound up in straitjackets.
VECCHIO: I don't think they're really painting the visiting room, Fraser.
A little later. Fraser is lying still. Vecchio is struggling.
VECCHIO: Will you take a look at this room? It looks like something out of the Dark Ages. They'll probably give us shock treatment. I don't react well to shock treatment.
FRASER: Calm down, Ray. They're not going to do anything like that. They're going to kill us.
VECCHIO: Yeah, well, to most people those would be contradictory thoughts. [He struggles some more, then lies back and yells.] HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL —
It is a soundproof room, so from his office Dr. Martins can't hear a thing. He is on the phone.
DR. MARTINS: He's a real Mountie. And his pal's a real cop. Yes. Yes, they're under control. No. No, I'm not going to do that. Covering up suicides I can some how rationalize, but not murder, no. You have to think of something else. Yes. I'll be waiting.
DRUG REP: [hangs up her cell and drops it on the passenger seat of her car] Coward.
Back in the padded cell.
VECCHIO: — EEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!
FRASER: It would appear to be a soundproof room.
VECCHIO: You got a better plan?
FRASER: Yes. Relax.
VECCHIO: That's a plan?
FRASER: The more you struggle, Ray, the tighter it becomes. All you have to do is relax completely, dislocate your shoulder, and pull your arm out of the sleeve.
VECCHIO: Yeah, or you could help me out.
FRASER: Well, yeah. That would work too. Hang on one second. [He gets up, presumably pops his shoulder back into place, and shrugs out of the straitjacket, then starts unbuckling Vecchio's as he looked around the room.] It's a deadbolt, keyless entry, sealed frame, hinged from the outside.
VECCHIO: There's no windows in the sealed door. You might as well just leave my straitjacket on.
FRASER: Well, if something got in with the door being locked, we should be able to get outside.
VECCHIO: Oh, did something get in?
FRASER: Yes. Air. [He licks his finger and starts walking around the room feeling for a breeze.] In spite of being in a hermetically sealed room, we haven't suffocated.
VECCHIO: You know, there's only one problem with that. We're a lot bigger than air.
FRASER: The air's flowing through the padding. [He takes the belt off his hat and starts slicing; he turns to Vecchio and taps his nose.] I sharpened my buckle.
VECCHIO: You anticipated cutting your way out of a rubber room?
He didn't say when he sharpened that buckle.
Scene 21
Drug Rep storms into the hospital. Dr. Martins and Post-Intake are waiting for her.
DRUG REP: You've got to learn to finish what you've started, Martins.
In the cell, Fraser and Vecchio are tearing down one of the panels of padding. They uncover a vent.
VECCHIO: Bolted shut.
FRASER: Well, Archimedes said, "Give me a fulcrum and a lever long enough, and I can move the world."
He unthreads the metal tubing that was holding up the wall padding. In the hallway, the bad guys are arguing.
DR. MARTINS: I want nothing to do with this.
DRUG REP: Oh, you're in, Doc. The appropriate time to have a battle with your conscience has long since passed you by.
In the cell, Vecchio is on his knees with the metal tube over his back while Fraser tries to pry the vent cover loose.
VECCHIO: Why do I always have to be the fulcrum?
FRASER: Stop moving, Ray. You're dispersing the energy.
The vent cover comes loose. They look into the duct. Dr. Martins badges into the cell and finds it empty.
DR. MARTINS: Well — they were here! They were locked in!
DRUG REP: [points to duct] Where does that go?
Fraser and Vecchio crawl out of the other end of the air duct in a hallway.
VECCHIO: Fraser, I don't think this is the way out of here.
FRASER: They'll discover we're missing in a matter of minutes. Maybe less. By the time we got back with a warrant, there'd be no evidence left to seize. Come on.
"Why do I always have to be the fulcrum" is peak sidekick content for sure. (And why does he have to do it with his ass facing the camera? I ask you.)
Scene 22
Fraser and Vecchio sneak through the hallways and break into the office where Cabled Sweater was working at her computer earlier. Fraser sits at the desk, closes his eyes, and starts going through typing motions.
VECCHIO: I bet if you opened your eyes you wouldn't miss the keyboard.
FRASER: Well, although I saw the nurse type in the password, I didn't actually see it.
VECCHIO: Watching with your ears, were you?
FRASER: Well, yes. You see, each finger applies a different pressure to the key, so each sounds slightly different. Of course, that varies from person to person.
VECCHIO: What did this one sound like?
FRASER: Something like the tune to "I've been working on the railroad."
He hums—"♫ I've been working on the railroad ♫"— then types—tap, tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap, tap. Access denied. He hums, and Vecchio joins him—"♫ all the live-long day ♫"— then types—tap, tap-tap, tap, tap. Access denied.
Drug Rep is looking in every room she passes. So is Post-Intake.
Fraser and Vecchio are still trying passwords. Access denied.
VECCHIO: Last chance, Dinah.
FRASER: Perhaps it was the refrain. [They both hum, and then Fraser types: tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Welcome to MSQ Software.] It was "Dinah blow your horn."
Drug Rep and Post-Intake meet Dr. Martins in the hall. Patients are hanging around their doorways.
DR. MARTINS: Security says they haven't left the building. I had them post an extra man on each exit.
POST-INTAKE: Okay, we got this.
DR. MARTINS: [to the patients] All right, people, back in your rooms.
A PATIENT AT THE BACK OF THE CROWD: [in a doorway] Which way are they going?
HIS BUDDY, WHO MAY HAVE A COMPASS: North by northwest.
Drug Rep and Post-Intake barge into Walter's room. Dr. Martins joins them a moment later.
WALTER: Hey, what's going on?
POST-INTAKE: They aren't here.
WALTER: Who you looking for?
DR. MARTINS: No one.
Back in the office, Fraser and Vecchio are waiting for printouts.
FRASER: All right, that's the last of them. All five of the deceased and their medical histories.
VECCHIO: Good, now we can get out of here. [Post-Intake catches him in the door.] Maybe not.
POST-INTAKE: You boys just got yourselves a trip to the Blue Room.
Dr. Martins presses some keys on the computer and deletes the records Fraser and Vecchio were looking at. Drug Rep takes the printed pages and lights them on fire.
Cabled Sweater sees Drug Rep putting the burning pages in a trash can and ducks into another office to make a phone call.
Dr. Martins is leading his party around a corner—Drug Rep has Vecchio, Post-Intake has Fraser, both with their hands restrained—and sees a hallway full of patients.
DR. MARTINS: Don't worry. All right, people, step aside.
POST-INTAKE: [whispering to Fraser] There's a lot of other people who'll get hurt here.
DR. MARTINS: All right, come on, step aside, people, step aside. Now, nothing's happening here. Nothing's happening here. Get back to your beds. [The patients move aside as the group passes through.]
VECCHIO: Hey, I'm a cop! Do something.
DR. MARTINS: Back to your beds.
VECCHIO: They want to kill us!
SKI HAT: Me too!
VECCHIO: Come on, do something!
FRASER: They're confused, Ray.
DR. MARTINS: Back to your beds. All right, step aside, people. [Walter does not step aside.]
WALTER: Where are you taking them?
DR. MARTINS: Nowhere. Now, just step aside.
WALTER: No, you're taking them somewhere.
DR. MARTINS: Look, nothing is happening here. Now, you're getting better, John. Don't start imagining things again. Trust me.
FRASER: Trust what you see, Walter.
DR. MARTINS: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in here? [Walter slowly moves out of the way.] All right, come on, people, back to your beds.
As the group passes by, Walter sees that Drug Rep is holding a hypodermic needle to the back of Vecchio's neck. He sees that Fraser's hands are restrained. He changes his mind and charges Post-Intake, yelling. Fraser, Vecchio, and Drug Rep go down like bowling pins. Fraser pulls his legs up and back through his restrained hands, and now his hands are in front of him. Dr. Martins runs. With his bound hands, Fraser punches out Post-Intake. Patients are screaming. Fraser runs after Dr. Martins. Ski Hat and Sideburns grab hold of Drug Rep.
Dr. Martins is badging out of the secure ward when he sees Cabled Sweater showing the cops she called which way the action is. He runs back the other way and ducks down another hallway. Fraser runs up to the secure door and meets Cabled Sweater and the cops. He has got the restraints off his wrists.
FRASER: Did anyone else come through here?
COP: Not past us.
FRASER: All right, south hallway. Farmer and an orderly. [to Vecchio, arriving, someone having unbound his hands] Check all the offices.
VECCHIO: [gives something to the cops] Here.
Dr. Martins is on the ledge. Vecchio spots him and leans out the window.
DR. MARTINS: Don't come out here. Not unless you want them scraping us both off the pavement.
VECCHIO: Am I wearing a funny hat? Do I look like a Mountie? Jump. What do I care?
DR. MARTINS: I have a medical degree, officer. Your high school reverse psychology isn't going to work on me.
VECCHIO: What psychology? I ain't going out on that ledge.
DR. MARTINS: Goodbye, Detective.
VECCHIO: Okay! Okay, I'm coming out, don't jump! [He starts climbing out.]
DR. MARTINS: Sorry. [He starts to step off the ledge.]
VECCHIO: Fraser! [to Dr. Martins] Just one second.
DR. MARTINS: Fact is, Detective, that I know what I did, and I know what's going to happen to me.
VECCHIO: [desperate] Fraser!
Dr. Martins leans forward to dive off the ledge. Fraser breaks through the window behind him and grabs his legs. Vecchio sags against the building in relief.
FRASER: Know your Shakespeare, doctor?
DR. MARTINS: [hanging upside down by his ankles] I don't get much chance to read.
FRASER: Well, you will. [to Vecchio] Ray, you want to give me a, a hand here?
VECCHIO: Coming. I'm coming. [He inches along the ledge to meet Fraser.]
Apparently Drug Rep is named Farmer. Probably Fraser knows that because he read it on the medical records they were printing out. But mainly: Yay, Cabled Sweater! (The anti-Ratched.) Yay, Walter! Boo, Dr. Martins. It's Gaslight up in here, also, isn't it. Yay, Vecchio! It's vaguely amusing that Martins's reverse psychology works on him less than one second after he insists he's not using reverse psychology on Martins. But he does manage to delay long enough to save the guy. Huzzah.
Scene 23
Fraser and Vecchio are at St. Michael's church. The priest is coming down from upstairs.
PRIEST: He's finishing up. You can go on down.
FRASER: Thank you, Father. [He goes down the stairs. Vecchio stays looking at the bulletin board.]
PRIEST: Vecchio, huh? [Vecchio nods.] You Catholic? [Vecchio sighs, gets out his wallet, and hands the priest a bill whose denomination is not visible.]
Downstairs, Walter is on a ladder cleaning a stained glass window.
FRASER: Father Behan says this place has never been so clean.
WALTER: Yeah, I guess I'm a little bit compulsive. [He comes down the ladder.]
FRASER: How are you?
WALTER: Good. I'm doing okay. I miss Ty. And for the first time, I really miss Ty.
FRASER: I'm sorry.
WALTER: No, it's okay. It's good. Funny way, it means I kinda have him back again. I'd rather miss him than forget him, anyway. Yeah.
Location note: There is a "MAXIMUM 40" sign in front of this church, so we are totally filming in Canada.
Meanwhile: Yes, yes, there's a weeping angel next to the window Walter is cleaning, and yes, it's objectively hilarious that Vecchio's response to the question "are you Catholic?" is to give the priest cash money, but what I really want to note here is that in the final scene, Walter is clean-shaven. WALTER IS CLEAN-SHAVEN. 💔
I don't need to talk about the title, right? Because it was explained right there in scene 18?
Cumulative body count: 9
Red uniform: At the intake interview
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Supernatural uses exactly the same technique in one episode, but of course it's much easier for a show with overt magical elements. Fraser doesn't even bring up seeing the ghost of his dead father. ("I see things that nobody else seems to" could have been a subtle not-causing-problems-in-syndication reference to that, but it's also perfectly true without reference to the paranormal.)
So let's say Ben was between four or five and about nine when his mother died.
The Due South wiki says he was six, but I can't find an actual source for that, and it doesn't seem to be in the existing transcripts. Maybe it's prop canon. Fraser does say that he and his grandparents moved to Alert when he was eight, so sometime before that.
It would certainly be plausible that Fraser's grandparents temporarily moved in with Fraser and his dad (or vice versa) during this period, and Fraser doesn't mention it because he's talking about his dad, but the way he describes waking up and finding breakfast made seems pretty clear that whoever was around hadn't been doing that.
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