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return to Due South: season 2 episode 17 "Red, White, or Blue"
Red, White or Blue
air date May 23, 1996
Scene 1
KENNETH WELSH'S VOICE: Previously on due South . . .
A CP train carrying the RCMP Musical Ride is traveling across Illinois. The film crew run up the aisle between the rows of unconscious Mounties and past the restroom. From underneath the train, Fraser speaks to Buck Frobisher through the commode.
FRASER: It is my belief, ah, that this train has been taken over by terrorists.
Bolt is in the communications car with two of his crew members and Fraser and Thatcher.
BOLT: Ten million dollars to be delivered by Detective First Grade Raymond Vecchio of the Chicago Police Department —
Vecchio and Diefenbaker and the station manager are waiting by the mail pole. As the train comes by, the sound guy leans out with a mail hook and snags it. Vecchio watches the train go. A train full of spent uranium rods is coming along the track in the other direction. Bolt is standing on the platform of the caboose with the camera girl, one other crew member, and Thatcher, whom he is holding at gunpoint.
BOLT: This train is now the trigger mechanism for an imminent nuclear meltdown.
The timer on Bolt's bomb in the engine compartment turns on. Frobisher is in the engine compartment with Bob Fraser.
FROBISHER: This train is a runaway.
BOB FRASER: This train is a runaway.
The camera girl comes running up the aisle toward Bolt.
CAMERA GIRL: I can't find Brex.
Fraser and the sound guy (Brex) are fighting on the roof of the train. Fraser thumps Brex on the back of the neck, knocking him down on all fours. Vecchio is standing on an overpass, holding Diefenbaker. He jumps off the overpass onto the top of the oncoming train. Bolt is in the caboose with Thatcher and his two crew members.
BOLT: Well, it turns out I'm kinda greedy, so you won't be coming along. [He shoots the camera girl and the other crew member dead.] Just you and me now, Inspector Thatcher.
VECCHIO: They got the Dragon Lady.
Having tricked the bomb sensor into believing it's moving by aiming an electric fan at it, Vecchio claps the clapboard.
VECCHIO: Hit the brakes!
Fraser pulls the brake lever. Just as the trains would have collided, the Musical Ride train goes off onto the runoff shunt (thanks to Frobisher) and begins to slow down (thanks to Fraser) but does not explode (thanks to Vecchio). The uranium train passes by it without stopping. Bolt and Thatcher jump off the stopped caboose and run for his ATV.
BOLT: Our chariot awaits!
The ramp sides of the train cars fall open. At the Cook County Department of Corrections Division IX Maximum Security Dormitory, Bolt is sleeping fitfully, dreaming of his defeat.
BOLT: [talking in his sleep] Oh, no. No, no! [The Musical Ride, each horse of which has presumably one HP, gains on Bolt's ATV, which probably has about a 30HP engine. 🤷] On, you huskies. [Fraser and Frobisher are in the lead.] Ah, ah! [They both throw their lances, spearing the ATV's engine. It sputters to a halt.] No, uh! No. [Fraser turns around and heads back to it. Bolt has drawn his pistol, but Thatcher throws him off the ATV and stands up on the seat so she can swing up into the saddle behind Fraser. They and Frobisher ride out to safety while the rest of the Ride circles the grounded Bolt and all lower their lances to point at him. The music is nightmarish and menacing.] Oh, no, wait, wait! No, no, no, no, Mommy! Mommy! [The cell door opens. Bolt wakes and sits up, raising his fists, ready to fight.] Ah.
JAIL GUARD: You've got a visitor.
BOLT: Well, then, there, now. I'm handling my own defense. [starts brushing his teeth] So. If it's that no account lawyer, you can feed him to the pigs while his bones are still soft. [spits]
JAIL GUARD: It's your brother.
BOLT: Ah. Different story, Morning Glory.
He blows the guard a kiss and breathes in his face.
It's not a bad "previously on," although it shows a lot of things well out of the order they occurred in.
Scene 2
Bolt is led out to the visiting room and flashes a peace sign at the person waiting for him. A guard stays in there with him, and Bolt picks up the phone. The visitor, his brother, is a sort of dweeby tweedy older dude, fussy and prim everywhere Bolt is shaggy and rough.
BOLT'S BROTHER: You need a haircut, Randal.
BOLT: Well, at least I still got most of mine, bro.
BOLT'S BROTHER: Don't start.
BOLT: Look, my hairdo is the least of my problems.
BOLT'S BROTHER: Don't let hygiene take a back seat.
BOLT: I'm incarcerated here, Francis.
BOLT'S BROTHER (FRANCIS): It's important, Randal.
BOLT: I could be facing lethal injections. [turns to the guard] Isn't that right?
FRANCIS: Oh, I don't think so.
BOLT: You don't think so, huh? I've got a hanging judge out there. You don't think he's filling up that big needle right now, getting ready to send me off to my final reward?
FRANCIS: No. No, I don't.
BOLT: What? And why is that, Francis?
FRANCIS: Because the family would never permit it.
BOLT: The family?
FRANCIS: As you know, the family is dedicated to your cause. Even now, we're preparing a care package for the day of your trial. [A military vehicle moves through a garage.] Planning for the possibility that there might be some waiting involved.
BOLT: [looks around, inexplicably, as if to see whether anyone can overhear him] What about the cousins? Are they still behind me?
FRANCIS: As they always have been. You recall the games we used to play in Uncle Jimmy's mortuary?
BOLT: [overcome with emotion] Those weren't games, Francis. You pickled my dogs.
FRANCIS: Let the dogs go, Randal.
BOLT: [sobs] They weren't dead.
FRANCIS: Let them go, I say. Think instead of Dracula.
BOLT: [still crying] Dracula?
FRANCIS: Exactly.
BOLT: You mean — you mean the time the, the time the cousins hid themselves in the coffin? [Now he's laughing. The military truck reaches a stack of crates labeled "contents explosive handle with care."]
FRANCIS: And, and Vernon suffered his first asthma attack.
BOLT: [laughing] How is his asthma, by the way?
FRANCIS: Well, he still suffers, but he's discovered the attacks are bearable if he has a knife in his hand. [A man in army fatigues pries himself out of one of the explosive crates with a knife. He drives the knife into the crate and takes a puff off an inhaler he has in his breast pocket. This must be Vernon.]
BOLT: What about, what about Gabe? Are he and Vern still close?
FRANCIS: Like peas in a pod. [Vernon cocks his head, and another man stands up next to him from inside the same crate.] 'Course Gabe still has his problems. It seems that on occasion he finds himself incapable of resisting the urge to get loaded — [The second man, who must be Gabe, is moving a couple of pallets of ordinance across the base on a hand truck. He starts handing them to someone else, one by one.] — and lately he's developed the taste for things that are somewhat more explosive.
BOLT: Uh-huh. Well, uh — [He chuckles.] — This news about the family is, uh, it's very encouraging, Francis. Very encouraging. [The military truck pulls out of the garage.] Encouragement is what I need right now. I mean, 'cause I have been having a devil of a time in here. Right, fellas? [He laughs at the guards again.]
FRANCIS: It's interesting that you should mention the devil. Our father was at the pulpit last Sunday? God decided to show him a vision. He showed him the face of Satan.
BOLT: And what does Satan look like?
FRANCIS: Well, the curious thing is, from a theological standpoint, Satan has two faces. [He shows him two surveillance shots of Fraser and Vecchio.]
BOLT: Well. We all have to reconcile our past, don't we?
FRANCIS: Prison has made you something of a philosopher, Randal.
BOLT: A man cannot be free, Francis, until he erases his mistakes.
He spits at both of the photos and leaves the visiting room.
I get sort of a Mycroft Holmes vibe from the brother, or specifically from the differences in demeanor between the brother and Randal Bolt. Meanwhile, "You pickled my dogs" feels like the sort of line that someone would come up with if it hadn't been scripted and the instruction was "Say something traumatic from your past, something totally absurd about how evil this dude was and is." I am strongly reminded of the "herring war" scene from Golden Girls:
DOROTHY: Oh, girls, let's face facts. The three of us just can't agree on anything. I mean, it is obvious we were not meant to live together.
BLANCHE: I hate to agree with you, but I think you're right.
ROSE: I think so, too. In fact, I know so. This is exactly what happened during the Great Herring War.
BLANCHE: The Great Herring War?
ROSE: Yes! Between the Lindstroms and the Johanssens.
DOROTHY: Oh, that Great Herring War.
ROSE: The two families controlled the most fertile herring waters off the coast of Norway, so naturally it seemed like it would be in their best interest to band together. Boy, was that a mistake! You see, they couldn't agree on what to do with the herring.
DOROTHY: Oh, well, that's understandable. I mean, the possibilities are overwhelming.
ROSE: Exactly! The Johanssens wanted to pickle the herring, and the Lindstroms wanted to train them for the circus.The audience laughs. Bea Arthur as Dorothy and Rue McClanahan as Blanche hang in there.
BLANCHE: Weren't they kinda hard to see riding on the elephants?
At this point Bea Arthur starts to chuckle.
ROSE: Oh, not that kind of circus. A herring circus. Sort of like Sea World. [Rue McClanahan starts to laugh and hangs her head.] Only smaller. Much, much smaller. But bigger than a flea circus.
BLANCHE: Mm-hmm.
DOROTHY: Ah, tell me, Rose, um — [she chuckles helplessly] — did they ever shoot a herring out of a cannon? [She bites her lip.]Betty White as Rose thinks about this. Rue McClanahan is covering her eyes to try to stop laughing. Bea Arthur puts a hand on Rue McClanahan's arm and turns her own face away from Betty White and the audience to try to get a grip on herself. Betty White remains stone cold.
ROSE: Only once. [Rue McClanahan guffaws. Bea Arthur looks back at her, incredulous.] But they shot him into a tree. [Rue McClanahan gasps and laughs even harder. She puts her head down on the table.] After that, no other herring would do it. [Rue McClanahan and Bea Arthur give up and throw back their heads and laugh.]
BLANCHE: You're making this up!
ROSE: I am not! My grandfather told me that story! [Rue McClanahan and Bea Arthur are beginning to pull themselves together. Betty White has not cracked.] 'Course, he also used to call me by my sister's name. [Rue McClanahan laughs. Rose laughs a little, remembering her grandfather.] And sometimes he'd wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. [Bea Arthur is done for. She slaps the table and puts her head down. Rue McClanahan pounds the table with her fists.] I guess he wasn't a very reliable source!Rue McClanahan shakes her head. Rose chuckles fondly. Bea Arthur sits up, recovering. Rue McClanahan catches her breath.
Legend has it that Betty White improvised that herring circus stuff, although the cinematographer Tweeted pictures (which I have also saved and can reupload in case the collapse of Twitter becomes complete) that seem to show it was all in the script. Still, I maintain there's a difference between "DOROTHY LAUGHS" and "Bea Arthur can't look at the audience or she'll break up completely" and between "BLANCHE LAUGHS" and "Rue McClanahan is in tears and has to take a beat to recover before she can say her next line."
Anyway, it looks like Francis is bad news, huh?, and he and these younger cousins, Vernon and Gabe, are planning something nefarious for Fraser and Vecchio on the day of Randal Bolt's trial.
Credits roll.
Paul Gross
David Marciano
Beau Starr
Tony Craig
Catherine Bruhier
(plus Lincoln the dog)
Camilla Scott, Kenneth Welsh, Raye Birk, Alex Carter, Gary Reineke
Scene 3
At the Canadian consulate. Fraser is standing next to a flag and in front of an RCMP seal, being interviewed (or interrogated).
A WOMAN: Constable Fraser. You're on a train loaded with explosives, full of Royal Canadian Mounted Policemen, and you're headed toward a nuclear disaster. And you avert that disaster. [Fraser gives a tiny polite nod.] How does that make you feel?
FRASER: [surprised by the question] Feel?
A WOMAN: Feel.
FRASER: [thinks about it for a moment] Fine.
A WOMAN: Cut. [She comes over to him. Fraser looks over at Thatcher, who is sitting quietly at the other end of a conference table.] Constable. I'd like you to imagine a spotlight. A big spotlight. Seventy-two thousand watts of a spotlight. And it is focused on you. You are the center of a media frenzy, which we are trying to capitalize on. [The woman has led Fraser to the conference room door. She opens it.] Take a look at these people.
The hallway outside has a ton of reporters waiting for a chance to talk to Fraser.
REPORTER: Uh, Constable Fraser —
A WOMAN: [closing the door again right in their faces] You're already on their television sets and on the covers of their magazines, but they want more. They want your inner soul. So let's think Roseanne. Show them your scars.
FRASER: With respect, ma'am — [He clears his throat.] — I thought it was our unstated protocol to avoid the appearance of currying favor with the media.
A WOMAN: We sold out to Disney, Fraser. That is about as curried as it gets. Now, you're going to have to trust me on this. I am an RCMP media relations expert, and I'd like us to focus on the details. Now I want you to tell us how you got from the horse car to the engine room.
FRASER: Ah. Well. Um. [He clears his throat. Flashback: Fraser and Thatcher are running along the roof of the train.] I followed Inspector Thatcher up the ladder. We then ran along the top of the train. [Flashback: Thatcher telling Fraser actually she is upset.] Inspector Thatcher stopped, turned, we engaged in a conversation that led to us discovering ourselves in some — [Flashback: He leans in to kiss her.] —
THATCHER: [standing up suddenly] Ah, Constable! That was terrific, Constable. Marked improvement. But could I have a quick word with you?
FRASER: Ah. Excuse me. [The media relations expert steps away.]
THATCHER: Fraser, our, um . . . what would be the word for it?
FRASER: Contact?
THATCHER: Contact. Yes. That's a good word. Our contact, in my opinion, is not something that is needing to be publicly aired.
FRASER: Since it had no bearing on the outcome of the event, I agree. Ah, furthermore, sir, I've followed your instructions and I've tried to, ah, erase the . . . contact . . . from my memory.
THATCHER: You have.
FRASER: Yes.
THATCHER: And have you succeeded?
FRASER: [Flashback: He kisses her. They are kissing. They're standing on top of the train in each other's arms, kissing, and it's all he can think about. He opens his eyes and looks at her.] No.
The conference room door opens and a very young Mountie comes in with a couple of coffee pots on a tray.
FRASER AND THATCHER: Ah.
THATCHER: Uh, we were just —
VERY YOUNG MOUNTIE: Sorry to interrupt, but I have the coffee, and I also have the java, and — holy moly, I've forgotten the sweetener. If you could give me a couple ticks, I'll be right back.
The kiss is more compelling in the flashback than I thought it was in the moment, so that's some good editing, I suppose. The main thing I get from this scene is that that is one Jackie Kennedy pink suit Thatcher is wearing, what's up? This is the first time we've seen her wear a color except when she was in uniform, and it's a soft one at that. (It's actually a paler pink than the famous bouclé Chanel that Jackie was wearing when JFK was shot, but tell me you don't see a dark-haired woman in a pink skirt suit and make mental connections.)
Scene 4
The very young Mountie goes back out into the throng of reporters, taking the tray with him.
REPORTER: Constable, if I could ask you just one question —
VERY YOUNG MOUNTIE: I'm sorry. I forgot the sweetener.
REPORTER: Constable, just one question —
VERY YOUNG MOUNTIE: I have no comment. No comment at all.
He fights his way out as Vecchio is fighting his way in.
VECCHIO: Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
REPORTER: Who are you with?
VECCHIO: Who am I with? I'm with me, Ray Vecchio, the guy who saved Illinois. Who are you with?
REPORTER: Are you the detective who was on the train?
VECCHIO: I just wasn't on the train, baby, I stopped the train. [He is about to go into the conference room.]
REPORTER: Ah — can I please? Just a few words?
VECCHIO: Sure.
REPORTER: Thank you. You rolling?
CAMERAMAN: Rolling.
REPORTER: I'm standing now with somebody who was actually on the train. Detective Vecchio, answer me just one question.
VECCHIO: [big TV smile] Go ahead.
REPORTER: What's the Mountie like? [Vecchio's smile disappears; he turns and leaves.] Detective Vecchio?!
This is nice. It's a distillation down to the essence of the difference between Canadians and Americans. Vecchio and Fraser played approximately equal roles in stopping the train and averting the disaster, so it's not like Vecchio is pretending to have done something he didn't do, but Fraser's instinct is not to understand why this is a news story about him, and Vecchio's is to say "yeah, of course I'm awesome."
Scene 5
Fraser and Vecchio are in the car.
FRASER: You're not talking?
VECCHIO: No.
FRASER: You're really not talking?
VECCHIO: That's right, Fraser. I'm really not talking.
FRASER: Just so I can be really clear in my own mind, Ray, other than telling me that you're not talking, you're in fact, not talking.
VECCHIO: That's about the size of it.
FRASER: I see. Is there something I should know?
VECCHIO: You should.
FRASER: Well, this thing that I should know. Do you think you could perhaps provide me with a hint as to what it might be? [Vecchio sighs and hands Fraser a magazine. It is the Chicago Guardian, a weekly, with a big picture of Fraser on the cover. The headline is "Fathers of Confederation Face Trial This Week." and the caption on the inset photo of Bolt is "Terrorist Randal K. Bolt faces lethal injection".] Oh. I see. Well, um. I suppose I should probably just, um —
VECCHIO: Get out of my car.
FRASER: Understood. [Fraser gets out of the car. Vecchio throws the magazine through the window at him.] Ah. Thanks, Ray.
Vecchio drives off. Across the street, Francis Bolt is sitting in a van and watches him go.
Hey, the Guardian is apparently where Mackenzie King works, although it sure seemed like she was writing for a newspaper rather than a magazine.
We haven't read the article, of course, but I guess it's safe to assume it doesn't mention Vecchio? Meaning Fraser is doing the not-just-about-me of it all in the wrong way. Presumably he's trying to talk about the whole event as little as possible in his attempt to avoid currying favor with the press, and because he's talking about it as little as possible, he's not mentioning Vecchio at all. Where what he could be doing is saying something like "I did what anyone in my position would have done, and I wasn't alone, because Detective Vecchio and Sergeant Frobisher and Inspector Thatcher all made contributions that were at least as essential as mine if not more so."
It's not really fair of Vecchio to be angry at Fraser for the fact that the press wants to talk to him rather than to both of them, any more than it was fair of Dan Rydell to be angry at Casey McCall in "Celebrities" and "It Can't Rain at Indian Wells" for being 92nd on the list of the 100 most influential people in sports when he wasn't on it at all. Or, to take a real-world example of doing it properly, as I recall every profile I read of Captain Sullenberger after that time the plane had to land in the river, when the press tried to make him the sole hero of the piece he always said No, but the whole crew.
Doesn't this seem like much too soon for Bolt to be going to trial? I know a speedy trial is a constitutional guarantee, but it's been like five weeks. I think it usually, maybe always, takes longer than that. I was recently summoned for jury duty in a case where the alleged crime had been committed in the autumn (I can't remember the exact month) of 2020, a solid two years before the jury was being seated. Granted there was a pandemic backlog from when trials weren't being held in person for a wee while, so maybe if everything had been moving more smoothly that whole time we'd have been doing our voir dire more like, what, six or eight months after the incident? (Mind you I don't know when the defendant was arrested or indicted, which may not have been immediately.) Still. This is awfully quick.
Scene 6
Vecchio drives away from Fraser's building. In Fraser's apartment, Diefenbaker whines.
FRASER: What do you want?
Fraser opens the refrigerator. In Vecchio's house, Vecchio looks into his refrigerator and sighs.
VECCHIO: Nothing. Every time I open this box, I'm full of hope, but all I get is a choice between dill pickles and Asiago cheese.
VECCHIO AND FRASER: It's like having your knees cut out from under you.
In Fraser's apartment, Fraser is slicing a lemon.
FRASER: He's feeling slighted, and not without justification. After all, if you go to extreme lengths, and your efforts are ignored —
In Vecchio's house, Vecchio walks into the den and sits down on the couch.
VECCHIO: — it only makes a guy feel like . . . awww. What do I feel like? Am I angry? Am I depressed? Am I just jealous?
VECCHIO AND FRASER: I'm talking to myself.
VECCHIO: It's ridiculous.
Vecchio is talking to the empty seat next to him on the couch. Fraser is talking to an empty chair.
FRASER: It's ridiculous.
FRASER AND VECCHIO: Nevertheless, we really have to try —
FRASER: — to talk this out.
VECCHIO: We put that guy behind bars. He's ready to go to trial. Now, I walk into that room today, this little bouncy reporter comes up to me, and I'm thinking, All right, Ray, here's your chance. Here's a little reward for putting yourself in harm's way one more time. And what's the first question she asks me? "So what's the Mountie like?" [He does a scoffing laugh.] So what's the Mountie like. He's Superman, all right? What do you expect me to say, he's a moron? He dresses up in that damn red suit every single day of his life like a signpost.
FRASER: Come on, Ray, that's not fair. I don't wear it all the time. The truth is, there are times I wish I didn't have to wear it. I mean, the thing itches. It itches three hundred and sixty-five days of the year. Unless, of course, it's a leap year, in which case it itches for three hundred and sixty-six days. But the point is, I don't wear it intentionally. It's part of my obligation.
VECCHIO: We are not talking about clothes here, Fraser, okay, we are talking about you, the most irritating man in the world.
FRASER: Ray, I know I irritate you, but you have to believe me. I'm not trying to irritate you. It's not part of some sort of master plan. You know, the fact of the matter is, I often try to imagine how you would handle a given situation. Well, just the other day, for instance, I saw this woman who was in a wheelchair, and she was having difficulty with a set of doors. And so I was just about to help her, when all of a sudden I have your voice in my head — [He imitates Vecchio's voice and accent here.] "Hey, Fraser, what the hell's wrong with you? You gotta help every cripple in the greater Chicago area? I mean, what the hell you think they have those handicap buttons for?"
VECCHIO: So they can feel good about themselves. So they can do something on their own without some do-gooder's help. But, no, what do you do? You help her through anyway. You wheel her out and you help her into a cab.
FRASER: Which promptly ran over my foot. But the point of the anecdote is this: that while I was helping her, I knew that you would be irritated with me, and I'm sorry, but I seem — I seem to be powerless to prevent that. I don't know, I don't know if it is some sort of flaw in my upbringing, or it's some genetic abnormality, or perhaps it's just some aberrant property of the Tuktoyaktuk water system —
VECCHIO: Don't put this on the water, Fraser, this is a conscious thing that you do, okay? You cover everything up. You squash it down. It's like that time with Frobisher, when that guy, Counter, he stabbed you in the shoulder?
FRASER: Geiger.
VECCHIO: What?
FRASER: The man's name was Geiger.
VECCHIO: His name is Geiger Counter?
FRASER: No, just Geiger. No Counter. And he stabbed me in the leg.
VECCHIO: Leg, shoulder. What difference does it make?
FRASER: Well, Ray, when you're the one being stabbed, the difference is remarkable.
VECCHIO: The point is, Fraser, he stabbed you. And were you angry?
FRASER: I was in pain.
VECCHIO: We are talking about anger here, Fraser, a human emotion. Are you human? Because if you are, human beings feel things, okay? They feel anger. They feel love. They feel lust and fear, and sometimes, and I know you don't want to hear this, sometimes? They even cry.
There is a knock at Fraser's door. Vecchio's doorbell rings. They both go to answer their respective doors.
FRASER: [pleased to see Vecchio] Ray!
VECCHIO: [surprised to see Fraser] Fraser?
At Vecchio's house, Fraser punches Vecchio in the face. At Fraser's apartment, Vecchio punches Fraser in the face. Both punchers pull off latex masks; Fraser is Vernon and Vecchio is Gabe.
That is not why they have those automatic door opening buttons, of course. It is good if a person with a disability feels good about being able to do something without relying on "some do-gooder" to help them, but people's self-esteem is not what the ADA is about as much as people's actual access to places and services that other people take for granted. Like, Vecchio isn't wrong that there may well be people whom Fraser "helps" without asking first who may be thinking Thanks, Red, I've got this, please take your hands off my chair before you break it or knock me out of it etc., but the way he makes his point, "So they can feel good about themselves," is not any less patronizing than Fraser's assumption that people need help in the first place, and I'm disappointed in them both.
But I don't see what that has to do with Fraser's emotional reticence, which is what Vecchio pivots to when he starts talking about Geiger stabbing Fraser in the leg, and Fraser did admit that it hurt and he wasn't wild about it, didn't he? I mean we've seen him angry, we've seen him in love, we've seen him in lust, we've seen him afraid, and we've seen him cry. So what does Vecchio actually want from him here?
Scene 7
Fraser is unconscious, tied to the previously empty chair in his living room. Francis Bolt is finishing a crossword puzzle (in pen); Vernon and Gabe are making a bomb at Fraser's dinner table. Diefenbaker is lying unconscious on the floor. There is a rolled-up rug there as well. Francis Bolt checks his watch and then gets up and dumps a bucket of cold water on the back of Fraser's neck. Fraser comes to with a grunty shout.
FRANCIS: That's a fine animal you have. Fifty percent wolf, if I'm not mistaken.
FRASER: What have you done to him?
FRANCIS: He's all right. He'll wake up soon. Please, answer the question. [Fraser does not speak.]
In Fraser's defense, Francis Bolt has not actually asked a question.
FRANCIS: Perhaps you're missing a full appreciation of your situation. You're tied up. [He chambers a round in a handgun.] This is a gun. Ergo, you are my prisoner. So if I ask a question, I expect an answer without hesitation. Now, where did you get the animal?
FRASER: It's rather a long story.
FRANCIS: I have time.
FRASER: I've forgotten most of it.
FRANCIS: Well, that's unfortunate. It's an interesting story and bears repeating. Mid-May. Two hundred and twelve miles northwest of Whitehorse in the Yukon Territories. Is — wait, is that territories or territory?
FRASER: Territory.
FRANCIS: Thank you. I crave accuracy. So, you'd been dispatched to track down big game poachers that were coming across the border from Alaska. [Flashback: Fraser is walking in the snow. This is a scene from the pilot that was used in the closing credits of season 1, but we're not flashing back to that time but a time some years earlier.] Despite your training, you could not have foreseen that the poachers would convert a mine shaft into a bear trap. [Flashback: Fraser falls through the snow into a mine shaft that has been converted into a bear trap and is knocked out.] You have no idea how long you lay there. When you came to, you discovered you were not alone. [Flashback: Fraser wakes up to a wolf pup licking his face.] Now, your first thought was to save the animal. That's admirable — [Francis Bolt lights a cigarette.] — but not without certain drawbacks. [Flashback: Fraser hucks the wolf pup up out of the mine shaft, causing a piece of wood or a block of ice or something to fall and land on his head and knock him out again.] When you came to, you were alone without any visible means of escape. So you sat down to collect your thoughts, but how could you have thought that the animal would be so grateful as to come back and try and repay the favor? [Flashback: The wolf pup kicks a piece of wood down into the shaft, where it hits Fraser in the head and knocks him out.] You were knocked out for a third time, but despite the gaffe, a bond was formed, and you've been together ever since. [Flashback: The wolf pup jumps down into the mine shaft to help Fraser.] You're wondering, of course, how I know the details of this story. Suffice to say, I know many things, and it's no accident that you were on board that train. Can you guess who I am now?
FRASER: Yes, I think I can. Your name would be Francis Bolt. You were born in Oregon in nineteen-forty-nine —
FRANCIS: Nineteen-fifty.
FRASER: — nineteen-fifty. You are a theoretical mathematician by training and a recluse by choice. You have a younger brother named Randal —
FRANCIS: Who you arrested. That was a mistake.
FRASER: He broke the law. I would arrest him again in a heartbeat.
FRANCIS: You would? Well, let's see what your friend has to say about that, shall we? [He kicks the rug to unroll it, and Vecchio tumbles out, bound and gagged.] Detective Vecchio, I'd like it if you could talk your friend over there into apologizing. [He pulls the gag out of Vecchio's mouth.]
VECCHIO: Well, you're out of luck, pal, 'cause I'm not talking to him.
FRANCIS: My brother's problem is the same problem that plagues all geniuses. [In his prison cells, Randal Bolt is looking at his pictures of Fraser and Vecchio and pretending to squash their heads between his fingers.]
VECCHIO: Can't get a date?
FRANCIS: You are a wiseacre, Detective, whereas I am a mathematician. I look for symmetry, for order within chaos. Let us take the charter train coded five-six-oh-two-three for example. You are here to account for your part in thwarting my plan.
Flashback: The trains are converging. Vecchio claps the clapboard.
VECCHIO: Hit the brakes!
Fraser pulls the brake lever.
FRANCIS: A plan rigorous in its detail. And as a wise man once said, God is in the details. So. It is to God that you both now will answer. Oh, by the way, have either of you ever worn a Mexican poncho?
Fraser and Vecchio look at each other.
Aw, it's the Fraser and Diefenbaker origin story!
It's tough to do flashbacks when your actors have aged visibly even in the time you've been filming. Recall that in "One Good Man" they stuck Vecchio in a hat so they wouldn't have to deal with the fact that his hairstyle changed between season 1 and season 2 (or in fact with whether he was thinning as much "five years ago" as he is now or what). In this case, although he's aging well, it can't be denied that Paul Gross has got slightly fleshier in the face and jowls in season 2 than he was in season 1—which is no doubt why that whole flashback is shot in dim light and with him slumped against the wall of the mine shaft. Handy that for Diefenbaker they could just use a whole other dog.Anyway, the number of the train as Francis relates it is 56023, but as Fraser read it over the radio I didn't hear a five at all; I could have been wrong about "two-Dakota," as Francis fairly clearly said "coded," but the rest of what Fraser said was "26023." Continuity note.
Scene 8
Randal Bolt's trial is beginning.
SHERIFF'S DEPUTY OR STATE TROOPER: In the matter of the State of Illinois versus Randal K. Bolt, the accused is herein charged with two counts of murder in the first degree, one count of attempted murder, one count of possession of a controlled or illegal substance —
Bolt is alone at the defense table, counting these charges on his fingers. Out in the hall, someone is scanned at security and goes into the courtroom. Other people coming in are lining up to be scanned.
SECURITY GUARD: Thank you. Would you raise your arm, please.
Thatcher is waiting outside the courtroom in red uniform. A young guy in a suit comes up to her.
YOUNG GUY IN A SUIT: Where is he?
THATCHER: I don't know.
YOUNG GUY IN A SUIT: We are getting down to the wire here, Inspector.
They move away from the courtroom door and down the hall, passing the security guy, who turns out to be Gabe. Back in the courtroom, the deputy or trooper or whoever he is is still reading charges, and Bolt is still counting them on his fingers and nodding.
SHERIFF'S DEPUTY OR STATE TROOPER: — one count of possession and transportation of explosives with intent to commit a felony, one count of grand theft —
In the hall, Vernon passes through "security." Thatcher is on a pay phone.
THATCHER: No, Mr. Mustafi, it's not dangerous. I just want you to knock on Constable Fraser's door.
In the courtroom, the charging continues to continue.
SHERIFF'S DEPUTY OR STATE TROOPER: — one count of hijacking, thirty-two counts of assault, and one count of advocacy of the overthrow of the government of the United States of America by force or violence.
JUDGE (BROCK): Do you understand these charges?
BOLT: [grabs the microphone, which feeds back] Could you, uh — could you, like, repeat those, just so they're real clear in my head?
In the hallway, the young guy in the suit comes up to where Thatcher is still on the phone.
YOUNG GUY IN A SUIT: We're, ah, we're in the middle of openings, for God's sakes.
THATCHER: [on the phone] All right, Lieutenant, I appreciate it.
She hangs up and the two of them go back toward the courtroom. Francis Bolt passes through "security." In the courtroom, the case is beginning. Bolt is drawing lightning bolts on his legal pad.
BROCK: Let it be duly noted that the defense waives its right to an opening statement. The State will call its first witness, please.
PROSECUTOR: Thank you, your honor. The State calls Constable Benton Fraser.
Bolt checks his watch. Thatcher and the young guy in the suit come into the courtroom through a side door.
YOUNG GUY IN A SUIT: Your honor. [He goes over to the prosecutor and whispers in her ear.] Uh, the thing, the phone, we, we've tried, but we couldn't get hold of —
BROCK: Is there a problem, Ms. Sheldrake?
PROSECUTOR (SHELDRAKE): It would appear, your honor, that Constable Fraser has been delayed. Perhaps I could, maybe —
BROCK: Perhaps you could what? We barely got our toes in the pond and you've lost your first witness? This does not inspire confidence on the bench, counselor.
SHELDRAKE: I understand that, your honor. However, I'd anticipated that this witness's testimony would cover the bulk of today's —
BROCK: You should invest in a calendar, counselor. You'd be surprised how much time you've had to prepare for this case.
SHELDRAKE: I'm aware of the time I've had to prepare —
BROCK: If your witness does not appear, pronto —
Vecchio and Fraser come in the back of the courtroom, rigged in a double-wide poncho. Bolt is delighted.
SHELDRAKE: My witness is here, your honor.
BROCK: So glad you could join us, Constable Fraser. This trial was about to go south. Would you mind taking the stand?
FRASER: Not at all, your honor, but I'm not sure it would benefit the court. [He nods to the side door.]
BROCK: Are you pleading the fifth, son? Is that what you're doing?
FRASER: No, your honor, but I don't think that my taking the stand would benefit this trial. [He nods to the side door again.]
VECCHIO: I think what he's trying to say, your honor, is that now might be a good time for a short recess.
BROCK: Who the hell are you?
VECCHIO: Detective Ray Vecchio, Chicago PD.
BROCK: Are you two joined at the hip?
VECCHIO: In a manner of speaking, yes.
FRASER: I think what the detective is suggesting, your honor, is that perhaps now is a . . . well, perhaps, your honor would feel the urge to say . . . I don't know, uh . . . step out. [Both Fraser and Vecchio nod to the side door.]
BROCK: Are you telling me I have to go to the bathroom?
FRASER: Well, that's an idea. Perhaps, uh, the members of the jury would feel the need to relieve, relieve themselves. [Juror #5 raises her hand timidly.] As a matter of fact, one does now. [Both Fraser and Vecchio nod to the side door.]
BROCK: Do you two suffer from Tourette's?
FRASER AND VECCHIO: Uh, not that we're aware of.
BROCK: Then what's with the tics? Now, unless you want to get hit with a contempt charge, you'd better have a good reason why you're not sitting in that box right now.
FRANCIS: [from the back of the courtroom, in police uniform] Excuse me, but uh, he does have a reason, your honor.
BROCK: Who the hell are you?
FRANCIS: A friend of justice. [Randal Bolt does a big thumbs up.]
BROCK: What the hell is going on here?
FRANCIS: May I remove this poncho?
Francis Bolt pulls the poncho off Fraser and Vecchio to reveal that they are strapped to a couple of bombs. Spectators gasp and scream. Vernon and Gabe burst in through the side doors, armed, and give a gun to Randal as well. Thatcher is dismayed. Randal Bolt hops up onto his chair.
BOLT: Different story, Morning Glory.
FRANCIS: This courtroom is ours.
BOLT: Bang, bang, your honor.
The Bolts laugh. Everyone else in the courtroom is, of course, less amused.
I'm not sure how Fraser and Vecchio thought getting the judge to call a recess was going to work. Wouldn't Francis Bolt just have pressed the button and blown them all up at that point? (Also, though, wouldn't the Bolts themselves be killed in that explosion? So how would that be a win for them? Not for their cause: for them specifically?)
Tourette's is a syndrome characterized by rapid involuntary physical movements or vocal sounds. It was named for Georges Gilles de la Tourette, who first studied patients with similar conditions; I believe in modern times it is among those "disorders" being reanalyzed as neurodivergences and (hopefully) destigmatized.
Scene 9
Across the street, Agent Ford has a command center set up.
FORD: Anything?
AN AGENT: No, nothing.
FORD: What's the count?
ANOTHER AGENT: We have twenty in the building.
FORD: Communications?
A THIRD AGENT: Still nothing. The hard lines have been severed.
FORD: Where are the response teams?
DIETER: They'll be here in five.
FORD: All right, till they get here, we're gonna — [The phone rings; he goes and answers it.] Ford.
BOLT: Good morning, Glory. I need you to bring something to me. Yes, and that something would be a helicopter. Do you, do you happen to have a Bell Star? [He is sitting in the jury box with his arm around the juror who had to pee. He speaks to her.] That would be nice, wouldn't it? A Bell Star? [He makes helicopter noises, laughs, and turns back to the phone.] I mean, after all, I've been kind enough to clear out most of this building for you, so the least you can do for me, I think, is get that chopper on the roof within forty-five minutes! And if you're wondering about my destination, it's none of your beeswax, nosy parkers.
DIETER: What's a nosy parker?
BOLT: Oh, by the way, I am sending you a liaison in the person of Inspector Thatcher of the RCMP.
ANOTHER AGENT: [looking through binoculars] We have another one. [Ford takes his binoculars. Thatcher is coming across the street safely.]
FORD: Get the woman up here. What's the count?
AN AGENT: Nineteen inside. That includes Judge Brock, the twelve jurors, Detective Vecchio, and the Mountie.
The judge, 12 jurors, Fraser, Vecchio, that's 15, plus Bolt and Francis and their two cousins. So everyone who wasn't in that specific courtroom is out safely, which is pretty impressive. (Even the prosecutors got away. Even the actual security guards, who you'd think would have stuck around and tried to subdue the intruders? But I guess I'd think a lot of things.)
Scene 10
In the courtroom, Bolt has hung up the phone.
BOLT: Before we proceed, are there any final instructions from the bench? [He laughs. The judge is tied up with his mouth taped shut.] What do you know? The bench isn't talking. [Bolt shakes the judge's head for him and laughs.]
FRANCIS: Randal! Fifteen minutes, Randal.
BOLT: I'll be there.
FRANCIS: Randal, we leave in fifteen minutes. End of sentence.
BOLT: Francis! I am standing here in front of a jury of my peers, for God's sake. When you use that tone of voice, I hear Mom, and when I hear Mom, I feel humiliated.
FRANCIS: This is not a point for debate, Randal. I will not have you ruin this plan the way you ruined my plan for the train. Now, you can have all the spotlight your ego demands . . .
FRASER: [quietly, to Vecchio] I realize you're not talking to me, but I thought I'd take the liberty of posing a question anyway. Why would you order a helicopter to arrive in forty-five minutes if you intend to depart in fifteen?
FRANCIS: . . . with or without you. End of discussion. [He stomps out.]
BOLT: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm! Hmm, hmm. [He activates a closed-circuit camera and speaks into it.] Wake up, America. The enemy is among us! Two men stand before you, accused of treason. [He means Fraser and Vecchio.] Their co-conspirator is no less than the American so-called government, which daily denies our rights enshrined in the Constitution. [The signal is going to satellites and being received all over the place.] Fathers of Confederation, sound the alarm! The same alarm sounded on April eighteenth, seventeen-seventy-five, by a simple silversmith named Paul Revere.
You remember Paul Revere. "One if by land, two if by sea," and all that.
Scene 11
In front of the building, news reporters are busking. Ford and his guys are monitoring the news reports in their command center.
TRACY WIGHTMAN: This live feed is coming to you from the state courthouse in the heart of Chicago, where the standoff —
FORD: Change it.
LESTER HOLT: — continues where he left off. Randal Bolt, on trial for acts of terrorism and murder, has struck —
FORD: Change it.
HEATHER PARK: Again, we have no idea at this time what his demands are —
FORD: Change it back.
BOLT: Saddle up with one thought in mind!
FORD: Where the hell is that signal coming from?
DIETER: I don't know. Must be Court TV.
FORD: Well, cut the signal. We'll go to full blackout on this one. What kind of weaponry have they got?
THATCHER: Semi-automatics, assault rifles, handguns.
DIETER: How'd they get it through?
THATCHER: They put one of their own on security.
A THIRD AGENT: The circuit box is in the building.
FORD: Well, cut the cable, blow the dish, I don't care what you do. Stop the signal! [He snaps his fingers at Thatcher.] C'mere. [He leads her aside with his arm around her shoulders.] Okay, darling, the bomb. Is it real?
THATCHER: Did you just call me darling?
FORD: I have no idea. Is the bomb real?
THATCHER: Can we afford to assume otherwise?
FORD: Smart girl. [He slaps her on the back.] Okay! Bring in the teams.
BOLT: . . . that first . . .
FORD: Let's go, men!
A SWAT team files out.
I'm with Thatcher on Ford's use of "darling." Ugh. She does a nice eye-roll when he calls her a "girl" as well. What an asshole.
Scene 12
In the courtroom, Bolt is still monologuing extravagantly.
BOLT: . . . until he finally reached Concord, where he sounded his alarm: "The British are coming." [He lights a lighter.]
FRASER: Objection, if I may. Your tract contains certain inaccuracies. Revere was unquestionably a patriot, but he did not make that ride alone, nor did he reach Concord.
BOLT: Oh, he didn't, did he, smarty pants?
FRASER: No, he didn't. Revere, a doctor named Prescott, and a man named Dawes set out together from Lexington. En route, Dawes and Revere were detained by the British.
BOLT: So who did get to Concord?
FRASER: Dr. Prescott, who's been largely ignored by history, in part because of the distortions in Longfellow's poems. Distortions, I might add, that you are perpetuating in this courtroom.
BOLT: Objection!
VECCHIO: Fraser, if you want to get us killed, why don't you just use the bombs?
FRASER: I'm glad to see you're talking to me again, Ray.
BOLT: Does the bench sustain? [He makes the judge nod.] Yes, it does.
FRASER: And furthermore, your assertion that he was a simple silversmith —
FRANCIS: Randal, fifteen minutes.
BOLT: Ah! [He waves his gun at the jury.] The jury will now retire to deliberate the verdict. [The jury starts running out of the courtroom.] On, you huskies! And the judge will be put out into the street with the rest of the trash. [He starts rolling the judge's chair off the dais.]
FRANCIS: The heart monitors I've attached to your chests are now active. If your combined heart rate exceeds two hundred, it's bye-bye, boys.
FRASER: Oh, dear.
Their combined heart rate is showing 163.
As usual, Fraser is mostly correct, though (a) the inaccuracies in Longfellow's "Paul Revere's Ride" were deliberate choices rather than mistakes and it's not Longfellow's fault subsequent generations have apparently treated the damn thing as a historical text rather than a pro-Union propaganda instrument, which is what it was, and (b) it's not really important at this juncture, is it?, unless Fraser's only purpose is to stall for time, which I suppose it might be. Another question is, why would Fraser, a Canadian, be so well informed on details of American Revolution–era history and subsequent doggerel? I guess we can chalk it all up to growing up in the library, right? The guy is supposed to have read everything.
Scene 13
Ford is rallying his SWAT troops.
FORD: We have nineteen inside, twelve of them noncombatants. Now, they are requesting helicopter dustoff. Let's take a look at the big board.
THATCHER: [to an agent] Can you get me a list of all the trials that were on the slate today?
I make either 13 or 15 noncombatants, depending how you're counting Fraser and Vecchio. Ford is apparently counting them and the judge as combatants rather than hostages, which . . . kind of bites, doesn't it?
Scene 14
In the justice building, Francis is supervising Vernon, who is humming (and wheezing) and trying to break into a safe. Fraser and Vecchio are alone in the courtroom.
FRASER: You calm? [Vecchio shrugs.] Good. All right. Now, three wires. Red, white, blue. Now, if I remember correctly, it was the Continental Congress of eighteen-seventy-two that spelled out the meaning of the colors in the seal. Red was meant to stand for hardiness and courage. Ah, white was meant to stand for purity and innocence. And blue was meant to stand for vigilance and justice. All of which no terrorist would object to, so where does that leave us?
VECCHIO: [calmly] In the middle of a courtroom, strapped to a bomb, waiting to blow up. Where do you think it leaves us?
FRASER: Ray, Ray, don't get excited.
VECCHIO: Look, we are going to die. You want me to pretend that I'm happy about it? [Fraser's heart rate monitor shows 66 beats per minute. The combined monitor ticks from 162 to 163.]
FRASER: Ray, if you're bitten by a rattlesnake, the safest course of action is to lower your metabolic rate.
VECCHIO: This is not a rattlesnake. This is plastic explosives.
FRASER: But the same principle should apply.
VECCHIO: You should listen to yourself sometime. You sound like a robot.
FRASER: Ray, just calm down.
VECCHIO: Don't tell me to calm down, okay? I'm looking at judgment day, here, all right? Don't tell me to calm down! [Vecchio's heart rate monitor is showing 108 bpm and climbing.]
FRASER: Ray, if we just work together —
VECCHIO: Can you honestly say that you are calm right now?
FRASER: No! No, I'm, I'm, uh —
VECCHIO: What?
FRASER: Well, I'm concerned. [He is looking at the heart rate monitors.]
VECCHIO: Concerned? That's it? You don't feel anger? You're not angry?
FRASER: No. Not exactly, no.
VECCHIO: Will you just admit that you're a human being? Just once in your life, can you admit that you're a human being? [Vecchio's heart rate is escalating, approaching 120 bpm. The combined monitor is over 180.]
FRASER: Please, please, please — [He closes his eyes and drops his chin to his chest, humming.] Mmm-mmmmm.
VECCHIO: What are you doing?
FRASER: [doesn't lift his head] Dropping my heart rate. Mmm.
VECCHIO: In the middle of an argument? [Fraser's heart rate drops below 60 bpm.]
FRASER: Don't let me stop you. Mmm.
VECCHIO: I'm going to kill you.
FRASER: That's very possible. Mmm. [The combined heart rate monitor is back down to 163.] There. I've never hated you, Ray. I've envied you, maybe.
VECCHIO: Envied me?
FRASER: [nods] I'm not proud of it, but you have a kind of freedom I wish I had. A sort of existential honesty.
VECCHIO: Are you saying I'm honest?
FRASER: In your heart, yes.
He continues to take deep breaths.
The thing about the colors of the flag is fine. Unofficial, but whatever. The main thing is that yet again Fraser is opening up emotionally at a time when he cannot look at Vecchio, because that's the only time he can do it. AUGH. Get this man into therapy, stat.
Scene 15
Someone has looked up the day's docket like Thatcher asked.
AN AGENT: Courtroom one, ongoing manslaughter. Two, fraud, first day. Three, a series of misdemeanors —
THATCHER: Hold it. What's the fraud?
FORD: Rooftop ETA is thirteen-oh-five. Blue Team will be in readiness in staging area A. White Team will be in like readiness at staging area C. On my go we move. Any questions?
THATCHER: Yes. Excuse me. [She moves a SWAT guy out of her way and beckons to Ford.] Can I see you? [He steps over to her, humoring her.] I know this man. He won't leave anything to chance. He'll have anticipated this. If you send —
FORD: Yeah, I appreciate your thoughts, darling, I really do, but let's get something straight. This isn't a train. You're on my turf now. [He goes back to his briefing.]
THATCHER: He called me darling again.
She is ready to kill him.
She is ready to kill him and she should do it.
Scene 16
Francis is becoming impatient with Vernon's humming and safecracking.
FRANCIS: The clock is ticking, Vern. Time is money.
In the courtroom, Fraser's chin is still on his chest as he breathes slowly to keep his heart rate down.
VECCHIO: Fraser, wake up.
FRASER: Are you calm?
VECCHIO: Yes. I'm calm.
FRASER: Are you sure you're calm?
VECCHIO: I said I'm calm.
FRASER: All right, all right —
VECCHIO: Now don't get me aggravated. [The combined monitor starts to tick up again.]
FRASER: — all right, all right, all right.
VECCHIO: What was blue again?
FRASER: Blue stood for vigilance and justice.
VECCHIO: Justice.
FRASER: Mm-hmm.
VECCHIO: We're in the Justice Building.
FRASER: [lifts his head, delighted] That's it!
VECCHIO: Benny, calm down. [The combined monitor begins to rise rapidly.]
FRASER: No, no, you got it!
VECCHIO: I said calm down!
FRASER: No, Ray, you figured it —
VECCHIO: Calm down! [The combined monitor gets to 199.]
FRASER AND VECCHIO: [both drop their heads and take deep breaths] Hmmmm.
VECCHIO: Are you calm?
FRASER: Yes. So it's blue.
VECCHIO: Yeah. Blue. Maybe.
FRASER: Okay, well, let's go with blue.
VECCHIO: No, you go with blue.
FRASER: Why don't you go with blue?
VECCHIO: Well, 'cause you're better at this.
FRASER: Well, maybe we should both go with blue.
VECCHIO: Okay.
FRASER: Okay.
VECCHIO: All right. One. Two. Three.
They both pull out the blue wires from their bombs. The ticking stops. They look around and do not blow up.
I guess my question is, if they removed their heart rate monitors, wouldn't the combined readout have dropped to zero? Like, where were the sensors attached anyway? I suppose it's possible Francis applied them under their clothes and then re-dressed them while they were unconscious, but the monitors are just clipped to their jackets, so why not, you know. Disconnect them?
Scene 17
It is 12:50 p.m. in the command center.
FORD: All right, let's make ready.
SWAT GUYS: All right, come on, let's go, let's go, let's go. Come on, move out. All right, everybody.
The SWAT teams move out. Thatcher is skeptical at best. In the justice building, Fraser and Vecchio come out of the courtroom, no longer strapped to their bombs but carrying them in a duffel. A juror is standing by the elevators, blindfolded and holding a balance scale. She is rigged with a bomb and trembling in fear.
FRASER: Ma'am, just try and remain calm.
VECCHIO: Fraser! [He is looking at a display showing where all the elevator cars are.]
FRASER: Roof. [Vecchio nods. They head for the stairs. Fraser speaks to the juror.] We'll be right back. Don't move.
They run up the stairs. One of the Bolts slips a knife into an ankle holster. On the next level, another juror is blindfolded and holding scales, rigged with a bomb. One of the Bolts loads a magazine into a long gun. Fraser and Vecchio run up the next flight of stairs. Another juror is rigged up at the elevator there. One of the Bolts loads a handgun. Fraser and Vecchio go up another flight of stairs; another juror is there. One of the Bolts loads what looks like a grenade launcher.
VECCHIO: Twelve floors in the building, twelve members on the jury.
FRASER: They've stationed one on every floor, and they're linked to the same detonator frequency.
VECCHIO: So when they blow, the whole building goes. What's our time?
Fraser looks at his watch. One of the Bolts looks at his watch. Ford looks at his clock.
FORD: Where the hell is it?
AN AGENT: Chopper's in the air.
FORD: All right, gentlemen, showtime. [The phone rings. He puts it on speaker.]
BOLT: Inspector Thatcher. Before your colleagues see fit to send in the response team which they have no doubt been readying, why don't you take a gander at the front door? [He is spinning the revolving door with the judge, strapped to his chair, inside. Thatcher and the feds look out the window.] I have it on good authority that our judge is an avid fan of the death penalty, so I think he should lead by example. Don't you? [Bolt shoves the judge out the door, where he rolls along into the plaza in front of the building.] Oh, it was a sad day when Illinois opted for that lethal injection. You know, I mean, call me old fashioned, but uh, I think, there's something, I don't know, elegant about the electric chair. [He laughs.] Look closely and you will see that our man is wired for sound.
DIETER: He's for real.
BOLT: You have — [checks his watch] — fourteen minutes to get me that chopper.
FORD: Response team, stand down.
BOLT: If you fail — [He points his handgun at the judge.] — first I'll do the judge, then — [He points his handgun back over his shoulder.] — I'll do the jury.
The passage of time in this episode is puzzling to me. Fraser's question back in scene 9 about ordering a helicopter in 45 minutes if you were leaving in 15 is a good one; and how many minutes have gone by now? More than one, so I guess it's 14 minutes left of the original 45—so what did they do with the remaining half hour? Apparently that's when they were busy rigging the bombs to all the jury members? I don't know what Francis's 15-minute deadline was all about. Maybe this is one of those families where you have to tell someone you're leaving at 1:30 if you want to have a prayer of getting out of the house by 2:00.
Scene 18
Fraser and Vecchio step out onto the roof.
VECCHIO: Where the hell are they? They should be here.
FRASER: Unless the helicopter was a diversion.
DIETER: [looking through binoculars] We have movement on the roof.
THATCHER: Fraser. [She comes and stands in the window.]
FRASER: Hold this, will you? [He tosses Vecchio the duffel bag.]
VECCHIO: Why are we carrying around our own bomb with us?
FRASER: Might come in handy. [He climbs onto the parapet and starts waving his arms.]
FORD: What the hell is he doing?
THATCHER: Semaphore.
VECCHIO: Hey, Fraser, if you're gonna jump, jump. Just don't stand there waving your arms around.
FRASER: No, I'm not going to jump, Ray. It's semaphore. In the absence of a phone, its the best we can do. [He waves his arms some more. Subtitle: "What is the status of the response team?"]
THATCHER: [She waves her arms. Subtitle: "Standing down."]
FRASER: [He waves his arms some more. Subtitle: "Do not activate. The jury is gang linked to explosives."]
THATCHER: [She waves her arms some more. Subtitle: "Where are the terrorists?"]
FRASER: [He waves his arms some more. Subtitle: "I have no idea. Do you?"]
THATCHER: [She waves her arms some more. Subtitle: "I'm not the one who's in the building. Moron."]
VECCHIO: What did she say?
FRASER: She called me a moron.
VECCHIO: She's a very perceptive woman.
FRASER: [He waves his arms some more. Subtitle: "Could you have someone retrieve Diefenbaker?"]
THATCHER: [She waves her arms some more. Subtitle: "Ask Vecchio about the . . ."]
FORD: What are you saying?
THATCHER: [She begins again. Subtitle: "Ask Vecchio about the . . ."]
FORD: What are you telling him? [Thatcher begins again.] Hey! Darling! Talk to me! [Thatcher begins again, "accidentally" backhanding him in the face. He falls down.] Ow!
FRASER: [He waves his arms some more. Subtitle: "Ask Vecchio about green cheese?"]
THATCHER: [She waves her arms some more. Subtitle: "Spelling mistake. Ask Vecchio about Gambello case. And pick up coffee on return to Consulate."]
FRASER: [He waves his arms some more. Subtitle: "Understood. End communication."]
Wikipedia says the RCMP occasionally uses hand semaphore, so this scene isn't entirely implausible, but as best I can tell comparing Fraser and Thatcher's gyrations to the alphabet accompanying the articles on flag semaphore, they are mostly signaling Rs and Zs.
Fraser's initial signal looks to me like four letters: R J [I can't tell what the third one is meant to be] R. His question about the response team looks like R T R Z R U (maybe). Thatcher's response "Standing down" looks like R Z cancel R L R cancel N. Fraser's next signal "Do not activate" etc. looks like R Z ??? R J Z R. And so on. That's pretty much where I gave up trying to decipher the signals. Obviously his shrug at the end of "I have no idea. Do you?" is there for comic effect, but apparently so is the entire thing.
Thatcher is apparently over her confused attraction to Fraser, eh?
Scene 19
Fraser and Vecchio are rushing down the stairs again.
FRASER: Ray, tell me about the Gambello case.
VECCHIO: Big-scale fraud. Thirty million dollars in U.S. bearer bonds. It's like cash in hand.
FRASER: Those bonds are in this building. They're evidence as part of that trial.
VECCHIO: So the helicopter was a diversion? They'll grab the bonds and head out where?
FRASER: Well, the sewers, probably. Then they'll detonate from a safe distance.
It's not as if Fraser has never heard of bearer bonds before, Vecchio, hello. Maybe "It's like cash in hand" is a reminder for the audience rather than for Fraser.
Scene 20
Under Francis's watchful eye, Vernon finally gets the safe open.
FRANCIS: Thank you, cousin. Your reward is nigh.
They start pulling the safe open.
Did anyone else expect Francis to shoot Vernon on the spot? Just me?
Scene 21
Diefenbaker is chained to Fraser's foot locker. The very young Mountie who forgot the sweetener in scene 4 comes into the apartment. Diefenbaker barks.
VERY YOUNG MOUNTIE: Diefenbaker! Hello. You don't know me. My name's Cooper. I'm a friend of Benton's. [He starts to undo the chain from Diefenbaker's collar.] Benton is in trouble. He specifically asked for you, Diefenbaker. Do you understand? [He has got a leash attached to the collar instead, and Diefenbaker runs immediately.] Whoa! [Diefenbaker is pulling Cooper along the hallway on his face.] Easy, easy! Whoa!
Diefenbaker drags Cooper down the stairs.
This guy is Chekov's Underling, apparently. (Where's Turnbull?)
Scene 22
Vecchio is calling the elevator, but it is not coming.
VECCHIO: They must have jammed them. Now what?
FRASER: I have an idea, but you're not going to like it.
Our heroes are looking down an empty elevator shaft.
VECCHIO: You gotta be kidding me.
FRASER: I told you you wouldn't like it.
Between the buildings, Diefenbaker drags Cooper through the police barrier.
VERY YOUNG MOUNTIE (COOPER): Pardon me. [They pass the judge in his chair, setting him spinning.] Excuse me, sir.
FORD: [watching through the window, handkerchief to his bloody nose] Who the hell is that?
Diefenbaker gets through a low barrier; Cooper doesn't duck in time. In the elevator shaft, Vecchio is holding onto Fraser and Fraser is holding onto the cable with a gloved hand as they slide down. The glove starts smoking.
FRASER: Uh-oh.
VECCHIO: What is it?
FRASER: Oh, it's nothing. It's just a little friction. [The glove catches fire.] Oh, dear.
VECCHIO: What?
FRASER: Well, it, it would appear — yep. I'm on fire, Ray. [His whole sleeve is burning now.]
VECCHIO: Oh, well. At least the whole day isn't a total write-off. [They slide to the bottom of the elevator shaft, where the fire on Fraser's arm goes out.] Well, that was lucky.
FRASER: Well, not luck exactly, Ray. There's usually a puddle at the bottom of an elevator shaft.
VECCHIO: No, there isn't.
FRASER: Well, as a rule, yes, actually, there is. You see, the condensation —
VECCHIO: Shut up.
I have no idea if there is or isn't usually a puddle at the bottom of an elevator shaft, but I applaud Vecchio's telling Fraser to shut up and I am also very pleased that he apparently didn't take much convincing to cling to Fraser and slide down an elevator shaft in the first place, nor did Fraser bursting into flames faze him at all. I feel like Vecchio's growing.
Scene 23
Thatcher and the feds are still looking through the window.
FORD: Where's the chopper?
DIETER: At the boundary marker three miles out.
FORD: Shorren, get the teams back to full readiness.
A THIRD AGENT (SHORREN): Sir!
Thatcher continues to be unimpressed by the feds. And who can blame her?
Scene 24
Bolt and Francis are tying up Vernon and Gabe.
FRANCIS: Sorry about that, cousins, but it makes the math easier.
BOLT: Yep. No long division.
Bolt and Francis take the bonds in a duffel bag and head down the stairs. When they reach the lower level, Fraser hides behind a corner and whispers to Diefenbaker.
FRASER: Go.
Diefenbaker grabs the duffel and takes off.
FRANCIS: Hey!
Fraser and Vecchio follow Diefenbaker. The Bolts follow them. Fraser is surprised to find a gun in the bag with the bonds. He hands it to Vecchio.
VECCHIO: Well, this'll come in handy.
BOLT: [advancing on the position where Vecchio and Fraser are hidden] No happy ending to this story, Morning Glory. [Vecchio fires three shots, and the Bolts take cover.]
VECCHIO: Just in case he's right, I want you to know — [He fires some more.] — I mean, I know you are what you are and you can't help that. [He fires some more.] But it's really hard to have a saint for a friend. Go! [They run.]
FRASER: Dief. [The three of them duck through a door and run from the Bolts' return fire.] I'm not a saint, Ray.
VECCHIO: Well, I know that you're not a saint saint, like when you've got your own day. I mean a saint in the sense of a —
FRASER: What, like a metaphor?
VECCHIO: Yeah, yeah, like a metaphor.
FRASER: Yeah, but Ray, don't you see, you are as well. I mean, we all are, even them. [One of the Bolts fires. Fraser and Vecchio duck.] Do you know what I mean?
VECCHIO: Well, that's what scares me. I think that I do.
FRASER: Yeah, well, that's probably why you and I have been such close —
VECCHIO: All right, all right. Don't get all mushy on me.
BOLT: Gentlemen! You have one choice! You can give us what we want, or we blow the building! [Francis holds up the detonator switch.]
VECCHIO: You are not going to blow the building. You are not a martyr. You're just a self-centered little creep who wants to get his face in the paper.
FRASER: Are you talking about me, Ray?
VECCHIO: Indirectly.
BOLT: You are wrong about this! I am on a midnight ride for America! I am the modern version of — what was that guy's name again?
FRASER: Dr. Prescott.
BOLT: That's right. I'm a modern version of Dr. Prescott.
FRANCIS: No, you're not. You're not, Randal, and neither am I.
BOLT: What are you saying?
FRANCIS: See the world for what it is, Randal. We are not patriots. We're thieves. Uncommon, but thieves nonetheless. And once again, you're on the verge of ruining a perfect plan.
FRASER: We seem to have hit a nerve, Ray.
FRANCIS: Detective, there are twelve innocent people in jeopardy. Is it worth the risk? All we want are the bonds.
BOLT: That's right!
VECCHIO: Are you kidding me? That's all that they wanted? Why didn't they say so in the first place. [He tosses them a duffel bag.] Take them!
FRASER: Ray, for God's sakes, what are you doing? That's not ours.
VECCHIO: I know. It's theirs.
FRASER: It's not theirs. That money belongs to someone else.
VECCHIO: Oh, did they say bonds? I thought they said bombs.
FRASER: Oh, that's very clever, Ray.
VECCHIO IS THE ONE TO OUTSMART THE BADDIES, AND FRASER DOESN'T GET IT UNTIL VECCHIO EXPLAINS. I love it. I will almost overlook the part where Vecchio indirectly called Fraser a self-centered creep who wants to see himself in the paper, which is vaguely internally consistent with Vecchio's feelings at the beginning of this episode but doesn't line up with the Fraser we've known for two years at all. (I guess we can answer the question of whether Vecchio is in love with Fraser in the negative at this point, though I’ll definitely take "I know that you are what you are and you can't help that.")
"No long division" is a bullshit thing to say when you'd only have been dividing by four, but never mind: I was right that Francis was going to screw over Vernon and Gabe, just not that he was going to kill them, I guess.
Scene 25
The Bolts run off. Randal Bolt is about to open the sewer grate to make their escape.
FRANCIS: Wait, wait.
BOLT: What?
FRANCIS: Open the bag. [Bolt opens the bag and finds explosives and wires.] They switched bags.
BOLT: But where's our money?
The Bolts are coming back into the building; they see Diefenbaker with the other duffel bag and follow him.
BOLT: Hey, doggie, want a bone? Got a nice bone for you right here. Come on. [They follow Diefenbaker into the elevator lobby, where he disappears.] Where'd he go? [Bolt sees an open elevator.] Francis! Look! [The duffel bag is hanging from the elevator cable.]
FRANCIS: Grab the bag.
BOLT: Well, why don't you grab it?
FRANCIS: Don't you trust me, Randal?
BOLT: You trust me?
BOLT AND FRANCIS: Let's both grab the bag.
Bolt and Francis reach into the elevator shaft. Fraser grabs the detonator switch out of Francis's hand; he loses his balance and falls into the shaft, pulling Bolt with him. They both yell and fall, but they're only on the ground floor, so it's only about 10 feet to the bottom of the shaft.
VECCHIO: You guys still wanna blow the building?
FRASER: [to Diefenbaker] This kind of remind you of a bear trap? [Diefenbaker rumbles.]
BOLT: Can we go now?
FRANCIS: Oh, shut up, Randal.
Diefenbaker grumbles.
Randal and Francis Bolt are right not to trust each other, of course. Something something honor among thieves.
Scene 26
Outside the justice building, the judge and jury are being helped to ambulances to be evaluated for trauma. Thatcher and Ford are standing by observing. Diefenbaker is getting his picture taken. Fraser and Vecchio are watching from the roof.
VECCHIO: Press hound.
FRASER: Who needs it?
VECCHIO: Not us.
FRASER: Nope, not us.
VECCHIO: Nope. God, I love this city. You know, sometimes you have to be a conduit and let the world come to you, you know what I'm saying?
FRASER: Okay.
THATCHER: [She waves her arms a bit. Subtitle: "You have duties, Constable."]
FRASER: [He waves his arms a bit. Subtitle: "Understood." There is a pause, and then he waves his arms some more. Subtitle: "Red suits you." She seems chuffed. He seems satisfied.]
VECCHIO: What was that about?
FRASER: What? Oh, that?
VECCHIO: Yes, that.
FRASER: Nothing.
VECCHIO: Nothing? You're standing there flailing your arms around like you're daffy. What do you think, I just got off the boat?
FRASER: Which boat?
VECCHIO: Don't try to deflect this.
FRASER: Deflect what?
VECCHIO: You know what I'm talking about.
FRASER: Well, no, Ray, actually, I don't know what you're talking about.
VECCHIO: After all that we've been through, haven't you learned anything?
FRASER: In what sense?
VECCHIO: Ach, you're the most irritating man in the world. [He walks away.]
FRASER: All right, define irritating. [He follows him.]
VECCHIO: Well, no, you look it up, Mr. Encyclopedia.
FRASER: Well, I think you mean Mr. Dictionary, don't you?
If Fraser answers one more question with a question, I am going to punch him in the face. Also, I no longer know what to make of his and Thatcher's feelings for each other.
This, maybe even more so than "The Duel," feels like a series finale, especially with the all-we've-been-through and love-this-city stuff here at the end. And yet we still have one more episode of season 2 to go (and at the time there was no season 3 in the offing). Multiple endings up in here a solid 15 years before Return of the King made it cool.
Cumulative body count: 24
Red uniform: The whole episode (less one sleeve at the end after it has burned away)