return to due South: season 3 episode 3 "I Coulda Been a Defendant"

[fox]

I Coulda Been A Defendant
air date September 28, 1997

Scene 1

A busy sidewalk. A UPS driver is carrying a very tall armload of packages. Fraser opens the door of his truck for him.

KOWALSKI: Fraser.
UPS MAN: Thank you.
KOWALSKI: Come on. You got to do that for everyone?

Fraser hurries along, passing behind a news reporter speaking to a camera.

REPORTER: Despite efforts to halt development —
FRASER: [stepping back into her shot] Ah, excuse me. [He hurries back along again.]
REPORTER: Cut.

Diefenbaker barks. Fraser helps an old man with a cane cross the street, holding up his hands to stop traffic. At an ATM, a woman is scolding one of her children and pulling him away from a trash can. The man in line behind her finds what either she or the kid was looking for—her ATM card—and hands it to her with a smile.

MOM AT ATM: Come on, get out of there. What are you doing?
MAN IN LINE BEHIND HER: Kids, huh?

Fraser has returned from helping the old man cross the street and is now helping a woman get her stroller out of the car and unfolded. There is a clown making balloon animals or something nearby.

FRASER: Here —
WOMAN WITH STROLLER: Oh —
FRASER: — I've got it.
KOWALSKI: Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Fraser! Come on!
FRASER: [running through the reporter's shot again] Pardon me.
REPORTER: — this historical CUT —

Diefenbaker barks. Kowalski makes running motions.

MOM AT ATM: Okay, let's go, guys. Right away. Come on. Let's go. [She leads her children away. The Man In Line Behind Her puts his card in the ATM.]
VENDOR: Ice cream. Get your ice cream here.
KID: You said I could have an ice cream. Please, please?

The younger child sees that the clown is now juggling by the ice cream vendor and starts to run off to watch.

MOM AT ATM: [frazzled and unhappy] I'm going to be late. Put that money away. [In the street, a man on a road crew turns his "SLOW" / "STOP" lollipop sign around.] I told you, no ice cream today. We don't have time. [An SUV with an impatient driver peels around the corner. Mom looks around and sees her younger child running and the SUV on course to hit him.] BILLY!
MAN IN LINE BEHIND HER: Watch out!

The Man In Line Behind Her grabs Billy out of the path of the moving SUV, which stops with a squeal of brakes. Kowalski and Fraser come running; Kowalski makes for the driver's side of the car, waving his badge.

KOWALSKI: Chicago PD! Step out of the car. Step out!

The Man In Line Behind Her has delivered Billy back to his frantic mother and, because no good deed goes unpunished, stepped in gum. He mops his brow with a handkerchief. Fraser arrives at this family scene. So does the reporter.

FRASER: Are you all right, son?
REPORTER: What happened?
MOM AT ATM: He saved my boy's life.
FRASER: You, sir, are you all right?
MAN IN LINE BEHIND HER: Me? I, I, I, I'm okay.
KOWALSKI: Anybody hurt?
FRASER: No, Ray. Everyone seems to be all right. Thanks to the quick thinking of, ah —

The Man In Line Behind Her has slipped away.

KOWALSKI: Okay, where'd he go?
FRASER: I have no idea.
REPORTER: Well, we have to find him.
KOWALSKI: Why?
REPORTER: Because the guy's a hero.
FRASER: She has a point, Ray. Historically, communities create myths to act as a mirror to themselves, from Glooskap, who was the great hunter of the Mi'kmaq, to George Steinbrenner, who, I'm told, is a symbol of a sensitive and caring New York.
REPORTER: Well, can you find him?

Fraser looks around and sees the gum The Man In Line Behind Her stepped in. He picks it up off the sidewalk and licks it.

KOWALSKI: Ugh.
FRASER: Possibly. [He heads off down the sidewalk.]
KOWALSKI: Look, Fraser, I don't have time for this. The day's getting away from me. What are you doing?
FRASER: Just one second, Ray.
KOWALSKI: One sec . . . what?
FRASER: He came from this direction. [He has led the party back to the ATM. He picks something up off the ground, licks it, and licks the gum again.]
REPORTER: Uch.
KOWALSKI: Haven't you tasted enough garbage for one day?
FRASER: There might be something here to identify. [Picks things up out of the trash. Diefenbaker is now licking the gum.] Ah, yes. One of these will be his ATM receipt.
REPORTER: How do you know that?
FRASER: Well, from the gum. You see, he deposited this over there. I think he must have picked it up here when he was taking his money out.
REPORTER: Yeah, but how do you know which slip is his?
FRASER: Well, there were three transactions at the time of the incident. One of these will be his. And the bank will have his name and his address.
KOWALSKI: Look, they're not going to give it to us, not without a warrant.
REPORTER: They'll give it to me. I've got a camera.

She snatches the receipts from Fraser and marches into the bank.

Okay, I am pretty much out of sympathy with almost everyone who speaks in this scene except The Man In Line Behind Her and possibly the mother. (I will overlook the UPS driver, the woman with the stroller, and the ice cream vendor.) The kids are being difficult after their mom said no. Kowalski is impatient for reasons that he does not explain. Fraser is delaying their progress toward wherever they're going by stopping and helping all sorts of people who may not need it and certainly didn't ask (and whom he didn't so much as ask "May I help you?" before deciding he knew what they needed better than they did) and interfering with the reporter's work at least twice. And the reporter is the instigator of the plan to pursue and interview The Man In Line Behind Her, which is obviously not what he wanted, which you can tell because he disappeared quietly. Sometimes people want to be allowed to do good deeds anonymously, lady! I am also judging her for asking Fraser what seem to be some pretty elementary questions about the pretty basic level of investigation he's conducting, which you'd think she'd have been able to work out her own self from observing him, if nothing else—but she might have been able to conduct her own self, if she were any kind of journalist.

[update: Okay, resonant, who used to be a journalist, says her experience is that unlike newspaper reporters, TV reporters are actors rather than journalists—that this young woman is delivering news someone else has investigated. So maybe she's not actually equipped to ask the questions herself. (Making her even less useful, in my opinion, but there it is.)]

In that crowd, who wouldn't be sympathetic to the mom (Sometimes your kids let go of your hand and run off in a crowd, and it's not because you're a bad parent, and nobody benefits when other adults who are not the parents of those exact children judge you. That woman has two boys who are, without malice, nevertheless making her day more difficult, and she has a headache, and one of them just dashed into traffic. She doesn't need me weighing her in the balance and finding her wanting) and The Man In Line Behind Her, who just wants to be left alone?

Fraser didn't make up Glooskap of the Mi'kmaq or George Steinbrenner, but the idea of Steinbrenner being a symbol of a sensitive and caring New York is of course such nonsense that there is literally no chance Fraser believes a word of it, and the absolute deadpan way he says it (and the way no one bats an eye) is worth his weight in gold.

Scene 2

The Man In Line Behind Her is at home. He's reading You Can't Go Home Again by Thomas Wolfe, but he puts the book down when there's a knock at his door and goes to look through the peephole.

KOWALSKI: Police, Mr. Talbot. Would you open up a minute? [He and Fraser and the reporter and her cameraman are out in the hall. The Man In Line Behind Her (Talbot) is anxious. He grabs his jacket.] You're not in any trouble. We just want to thank you for saving the kid.
MAN IN LINE BEHIND HER (TALBOT): Just a minute!

He puts his book and maybe a couple of other things in a bag and climbs out the window, knocking over a lamp in the process.

KOWALSKI: You all right in there?

Diefenbaker sees Talbot out the window and grumbles. Fraser goes to look.

FRASER: Ray?

Fraser climbs out the hallway window. Talbot is hurrying down the fire escape. Fraser is following him fast. Talbot reaches the ground and runs. Fraser grabs a bar spanning the space between two buildings—the music changes to something circus-y for a moment—and does a couple of giant swings and then a layout flip dismount into the back of a convertible where a woman is putting on makeup in the rearview mirror. Her lipstick skitters outside the lines.

FRASER: Ma'am.
WOMAN WITH LIPSTICK: Don't tell me. Capricorn.
FRASER: Sorry, ma'am, no. Canadian.
WOMAN WITH LIPSTICK: Oh, that's great. I'm Albanian.
FRASER: That's nice. I wonder if you could do me the favor of flattening that accelerator and getting us to the end of the alley as quickly as possible.
WOMAN WITH LIPSTICK: Anything you want, good-looking.
FRASER: Thank you kindly.

She floors it. Talbot is running, but she is gaining on him. Fraser is standing up in the back of the car. Talbot reaches the end of the alley and runs across the street, where he fails to entirely dodge a passing taxi.

CABBIE: Hey, buddy, look out!

Talbot rolls to a stop with his head on his bag like a pillow. Fraser has jumped out of the convertible and comes running.

FRASER: Are you all right, sir? [Talbot is panicking and trying to get up.] Are you all right?

Kowalski and the news crew arrive.

KOWALSKI: Just take it easy. Take, take it easy. Just trying to help. [Talbot moves in such a way that his jacket hem shifts and uncovers the gun tucked into his waistband.] Gun! [Kowalski jumps back and pulls his own gun.] Don't move! Spread 'em! [Talbot is shaking his head and showing his hands.] Hands away from the body! [He takes Talbot's gun and hands it to Fraser.]
TALBOT: Don't. Don't. This is a mistake. I didn't —
KOWALSKI: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be — [He looks to Fraser.]
FRASER: Appointed to you.
KOWALSKI: Appointed to you . . . for free. Hands away from the body! What are you, deaf?

Yeah, just having a gun isn't actually illegal, though, is it? What are they arresting the guy for? They didn't arrest Gladys for firing a gun at her husband's grave, and now this poor guy is tackled and arrested for merely having a gun in his possession? Why don't they just ask to examine his "firearms certificate" and then leave him the fuck alone?

You Can't Go Home Again is a story of a man who alienates his family and neighbors by writing a successful novel set in his home town. He sets off on a journey of self-discovery and finds that of course you can't ever return to the way your life used to be. (The title was almost certainly not a cliché when Wolfe used it for his book.)

You can't see Fraser's face clearly when he says "That's nice" to the Albanian woman, but by the tone of his voice my guess is it's the same kind of frozen smile with which he says "Hi, Gladys" in scene 9 of "An Eye for an Eye" (proving that episode does have some value after all).

Kowalski is wearing jeans and harness boots and looks good wearing them.

Credits roll.

Paul Gross
Callum Keith Rennie
Beau Starr
Camilla Scott
Tony Craig | Tom Melissis
Catherine Bruhier
and Gordon Pinsent as Fraser Sr.

(plus Draco the dog)

Brent Carver, Ron White, David Gardner, and Ramona Milano

1. Woo-hoo, Ramona Milano has been promoted to "and," check her out!
2. Brent Carver (1951–2020) is another brilliant, brilliant actor who routinely appeared at the Stratford Festival (I previously raved about Colm Feore and I think this guy? might be better.) and is kind of slumming here in this guest turn. I don't think he'd have thought of it as slumming, though. What a miraculous performer he was. When I tell you he won a Tony for Kiss of the Spider Woman eight lousy years after appearing as the Pirate King in a Pirates of Penzance that was a formative influence on me (eat your heart out, Kevin Kline)—the one that began with himself giving the "O for a muse of fire!" speech from Henry V after the opening number in act 1; played "Hail, Poetry" absolutely straight; and featured, and I am not making this up, a "Popeye the Sailor Man" tango break in act 2; and made all of this work!; it was, as they say, practically perfect in every way, and I will stop evangelizing about it now but will burn a copy for anyone who wants—anyway, this dude raises the bar around here, and I feel like he drags the rest of the cast up with him.

Scene 3

Talbot is sitting twitchily in an interview room. Kowalski comes in and slams a file down on the table.

TALBOT: This is a mistake. This is really a big mistake. This is just a mistake.
KOWALSKI: Shut up.
TALBOT: But I didn't do anything.
KOWALSKI: Oh, you didn't? Oh, well, then, we screwed up. You're free to go.
TALBOT: Really? [He starts to stand up to go.]
KOWALSKI: Sit down!
TALBOT: [sits back down, chastened] But I didn't do anything.
KOWALSKI: Oh, I'm sure you didn't. In fact, if you hump this job long enough, you discover very few criminals ever actually commit a crime. [Talbot is looking at a document Kowalski has put down in front of him, turning it back and forth.] You know, just the other day I find this guy standing over a dead body, smoking gun in his hand, marked bills in his pocket. Guess what? He didn't do it either!
TALBOT: What are you talking about?
KOWALSKI: What you didn't do! You want to start with the gun, or do you want to start with these? [He gets a stack of IDs out of a plastic bag.]
TALBOT: No, you don't understand. You really don't understand, no.
KOWALSKI: No, I don't understand. So why don't you tell me why an honest guy like you is running around Chicago with more names than the phone book, carrying a loaded piece?
TALBOT: I have a permit for that gun.
KOWALSKI: Under what name? [He starts tossing IDs at him.] Mr. Talbot. Mr. Hughes. Mr. Jackson. Dr. Walnut?
TALBOT: I can't be on television. Not on television.
KOWALSKI: I repeat myself when under stress. I repeat myself when under stress. This is America, pal. Everybody wants to be on television.
TALBOT: But I can't be on television. Not on television.

In the observation room, Diefenbaker grumbles.

KOWALSKI: I tell you what —
FRASER: [in the observation room with Diefenbaker] I agree.
KOWALSKI: — I am not going to waste any more of your valuable time. I'll take you right down to a nice little holding cell, and you can spend the night there. We can do this all again tomorrow. [Fraser knocks on the window. Kowalski looks over his shoulder, then picks up the phone.] Fraser, can you not do that? It sort of gives it away.

I do not think they have yet presented a valid reason for holding Mr. Talbot, even if that isn't his real name. Why is he under arrest? Why would they hold him overnight? (Also, Kowalski can fuck off with mocking the guy, "I repeat myself under stress, I repeat myself under stress.") He should indeed be free to go. If this ever happens to you, ask if you are under arrest, and if you're not, get up and leave. Get up and leave! Ugh, why do we have to love a cop show.

Scene 4

Kowalski comes out to join Fraser and Diefenbaker in the observation room.

FRASER: Something's not right.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, he's nuts.
FRASER: No, he's frightened.
KOWALSKI: Course he's frightened. That's me. That's my thing. On the inside I'm a poet. Outside? Oof. Shake, bad guys, shake.
FRASER: Hmm. Does he seem like a bad guy to you?
KOWALSKI: He's polite. Big deal. I mean, Jack the Ripper was polite.
FRASER: I'd like to talk to him.
KOWALSKI: Torture. That, that's a good idea. I never thought of that.
FRASER: That's — that's very funny, Ray. [He and Diefenbaker head to the interview room.]
KOWALSKI: Polite cop, bad cop. It might work.

It's all very well that Fraser is sympathetic now, but he's the one who chased the guy into traffic and frightened him in the first place.

Scene 5

Welsh is in his office on the phone.

WELSH: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. [He covers the mouthpiece and shakes it at the ceiling.] Three bags full, sir. [He puts the phone back to his ear.] Oh, yes, sir, we'll cooperate fully. [sits up straight] Well, sir, I, I wasn't aware they were in the building. Ah, yes, sir. I'll take care of it. [He hangs up the phone and goes out into the squad room.] Vecchio!
ELAINE: Lieutenant, there's some guy from Justice on the line for you.
WELSH: Park him. Vecchio! [He passes Kowalski at the water fountain and scolds him as he goes by.] Don't move. Don't move.

At the entry to the department, the reporter and her cameraman and another couple of reporter types are getting into it with the desk sergeant.

DESK SERGEANT: No, no, no, no —
REPORTER: Why can't you tell us why you're taking him —
DESK SERGEANT: — I told you, I cannot give you any information about this —
WELSH: [to reporters] Sit!
DESK SERGEANT: — no way.
WELSH: Go on, sit down. [They sit. He holds up a hand.] Stay. [He returns to the squad room, picking up Kowalski by the water fountain.] My office.

There's our reporter asking questions! Good for her! . . . I don't know why they agree to sit quietly just because Welsh yelled at them, though.

Scene 6

Fraser and Diefenbaker are in the interview room with Mr. Talbot, who has folded the document up into lots of different shapes.

FRASER: That's an interesting pattern.
TALBOT: It's a, it's a rhomboid.
FRASER: So it is. [He sets it aside.]

It appears to be a dodecahedron, actually.

TALBOT: Yeah. I like to make different size sides and then try and figure out how many I can get into a fixed space. Something determinate with few variables. I like to do that. I like your dog. Seems like a nice dog. Is he a nice dog?
FRASER: He's half wolf, actually.
TALBOT: Oh. A wolf, a wolf. Howling wolf. Are they good friends, howling wolves?
FRASER: Loyal companions. You know, that was a very admirable thing you did today. Very courageous.
TALBOT: No. Stupid. Very stupid.
FRASER: You saved a boy's life. Would you change that?
TALBOT: No. No. I like kids. Kids are great. I like kids. I don't like TV. TV guys. I can't be on TV. I don't. . . . That's a concern.
FRASER: The police are concerned about your forged documents and the weapon. You don't want to talk about that?
TALBOT: No, I don't. I don't. I really don't.
FRASER: [nods to the pieces of paper] You mind if I try?

Talbot pushes the paper over at him and watches Fraser doing his puzzles.

Scene 7

In his office, Welsh is chewing Kowalski right out.

WELSH: Now, let's see if I got this right. A guy saves a kid's life, and to show our gratitude, we go to his house, knock down his door, cuff him, drag him here, and grill the snot out of him.
KOWALSKI: Guy had a gun.
WELSH: Well, he had a gun. Here in Chicago, a man had a gun. Oh, what is this world coming to?

Thank you!

Elaine knocks on the door.

ELAINE: That guy from Justice is on the line again.
WELSH: I said park him. [He turns back to Kowalski.] Look, you arrested a good Samaritan in front of a camera crew. Now, when the media sees it, they get very excited. When they get excited, Commander Murphy gets excited. When Murphy gets excited, I get piles. Now I want that guy and the media out of the building ASAP. Do we understand each other?
KOWALSKI: Gotta ID him.
WELSH: All right, if he's Jimmy Hoffa, keep him. Anybody else, set him free.

He pushes Kowalski out of his office into the squad room.

First of all, who's Commander Murphy? Second of all, God, Welsh, please don't ever tell us about your piles ever again.

Jimmy Hoffa, as we've mentioned before, was a labor activist who disappeared in 1975. If this guy turned out to be Jimmy Hoffa, that would definitely be newsworthy (and he'd be in great shape!). Otherwise, I'm with Welsh in this whole scene—why are you harassing this poor guy whose only "crime" seems to be owning a gun, which is not a crime—but because it's on my mind for work-related reasons lately, I will say I'm not bananas about "good Samaritan." As I said in a comment on a manuscript, "it seems to imply that passersby who stop to help in emergency situations are always acting against type . . . not exactly that I'm concerned [about] subjecting readers of Samaritan descent to microaggressions, but I think it's an unnecessarily culturally specific term (which is another thing; why do we assume everyone will have the background knowledge needed to know what this means)".

Scene 8

Fraser is still talking to Mr. Talbot in the interview room.

TALBOT: So it's not that complicated, you see. It's just a wave of possibilities that collapses to a probability. Then you can say, "I observe this. That which we call reality." Do you have a mother and a father?
FRASER: No. They're both dead.
TALBOT: Like me. Dead. Both of them. Dead. Dead. Sister?
FRASER: No, I was an only child. Although, you know, I had a, a best friend in the village I grew up in.
TALBOT: Best friend, huh? [Fraser nods.] Was he like your brother? So he took care of you, looked after you, like he was your brother? Was he like your brother?
FRASER: Yes, he was.
TALBOT: Name?
FRASER: Innussiq.
TALBOT: Spell that. Spell that, please.
FRASER: I-N-N-U-S — [Kowalski knocks on the window in the door and doesn't stop.] — S-I-Q. I'll be right back.

He leaves the interview room. Diefenbaker stays and puts his chin on Talbot's lap.

Diefenbaker is the real hero of the piece.

First we've heard of Innussiq. Was he Fraser's best friend on the outskirts of Inuvik, or in Tuktoyaktuk after he and his grandparents returned from Alert? (I continue to assume there were no children in Alert, including Fraser.)

Scene 9

In the hallway, Kowalski is hollering at Fraser.

KOWALSKI: Why is Welsh giving me all this chin music about this guy? I don't get that.
ELAINE: [coming the other way with a stack of files] Hey, guys. Are you coming tomorrow?
KOWALSKI: Tomorrow what?
FRASER: Ray. Tomorrow Elaine graduates as a new police officer, and as veterans, it's our responsibility to be there and offer her our support.
ELAINE: Oh, and here comes my new replacement now. [Francesca appears in a civilian aide uniform. Elaine hands her the stack of files.]
KOWALSKI: I'm going to pass a bullet through my brain.
FRANCESCA: Not that I object to that, but thanks for the vote of confidence there, bro.
ELAINE: She was the, ah, best candidate for the job, Ray.
KOWALSKI: She's going to be in the same office as me every day? In the same office every day?
FRANCESCA: He's intimidated by my presence.
ELAINE: Hmm. Very intimidated.
KOWALSKI: I'm intimidated?
FRASER: It would appear you're intimidated.
KOWALSKI: This is just not going to work out.
FRANCESCA: It's already worked out. [turns on her heel and walks away, speaking to Elaine] Okay. So alphabetical order just means the alphabet, right?
KOWALSKI: I'm doomed.
FRASER: I don't understand this, Ray. I thought you liked Francesca.
KOWALSKI: Of — are you from another planet, Fraser?
FRASER: Well, not that I'm aware of.
KOWALSKI: Of course I like her. That's why I'm doomed. I got to work with her in the same office every day and pretend like she's my sister?
FRASER: This makes no sense, Ray. All women are our sisters.
OFFICER: Vecchio. Someone here to see you. [He points to a man in a suit.]
SUIT: Hi. Kevin Spender, deputy director of Justice. I understand you've got a man in here they're calling the Samaritan. I'd like you to cut him loose.
KOWALSKI: Look, just cause you're from Justice, Kevin, doesn't mean you can waltz in here and —
SUIT (SPENDER): I know this is your jurisdiction. I'm not trying to step on any toes, but this man is a protected federal witness. Any public exposure could risk his life. I'd like to talk to him if I could.

What's this? A fed who's coming right out and saying he's not trying to interfere with a local matter? That's unusual, isn't it?

"Deputy director" is not a title that has meaning with respect to the U.S. Department of Justice as a whole. That department has several (one might even say many) components that have directors, and those directors have deputies, but that would make them deputy director of [specific division] at [component of the larger DOJ]. If this guy is deputy anything at Justice, undifferentiated, he'd have to be deputy attorney general, in which case he'd say so.

Are we meant to understand that Kowalski likes Francesca, and that pretending she's his sister is some sort of social hardship because he'd rather be pursuing some other sort of relationship with her? Gross.

Late edit: Is this "alphabetical order" moment between Francesca and Elaine the moment this show achieves Bechdel compliance?

Scene 10

In the interrogation room, Talbot has made a paper wolf and is playing with Diefenbaker. Kowalski shows Spender in.

KOWALSKI: Dr. Walnut, someone here to see you. [He leaves and closes the door.]
TALBOT: Oh, I knew you'd come. I knew it. [He hugs Spender.] I knew it. I knew it.
SPENDER: [patting the sides of Talbot's head] What happened to you?
TALBOT: Accident.

Fraser and Kowalski are in the observation room.

FRASER: They have a right to their privacy.

Kowalski nods and they both leave the observation room.

SPENDER: . . . you know that.
TALBOT: Yeah. I'm sorry.
SPENDER: This can't happen. Whose dog is that?
TALBOT: Oh, it's just a friend.
SPENDER: I'm tired, Bruce.
TALBOT: Yeah, you're tired. But you work hard. You work hard. You work hard. I'm sorry.
SPENDER: Can you give the origami a rest?
TALBOT: It's not origami. It's combinatorics.
SPENDER: Okay. Combinatorics.

Spender leaves the interview room. Talbot nods a couple of times. Diefenbaker grumbles, and Talbot turns back to him with the paper wolf.

Is Spender here as Talbot's attorney? His priest? His physician? Absent one of those relationships, I don't think this conversation is actually privileged (there was no spousal privilege between same-sex couples in 1997), so while it's nice that Fraser wants to give them their privacy, and they're probably morally entitled to it, they aren't actually legally entitled to it, no. (Except that Talbot shouldn't be and may not actually be under arrest at all.)

Scene 11

Welsh meets Spender in the hallway.

WELSH: Deputy Director Spender?
SPENDER: Yes.
WELSH: [shaking his hand] Harding Welsh, lieutenant, Chicago PD. What have we got here?
SPENDER: Protected federal witness. You've got a camera crew back there. I'd appreciate if you could get rid of them.
WELSH: Oh, it would be my pleasure. Can I ask you why a deputy director from Justice is so interested in a stoolie?
SPENDER: Yeah, you can ask me. He's my brother.

There is also no sibling privilege, although that revelation illuminates scene 10 a great deal, doesn't it? The hug, the way Spender is taking gentle care of Talbot but is also exhausted by having done so for a long time — probably since their parents died, which I'm assuming they have. I may be projecting, not from my own experience but somehow from what I've seen in a number of cases where a younger sibling becomes the caretaker for an older sibling with disabilities or special needs. That is, the text hasn't said so, but I will bet several pretend dollars that Spender is the younger brother here. I don't know why that feels relevant to me, but it does.

Scene 12

In the interview room, Diefenbaker is licking Talbot's face.

TALBOT: [smiling] Hey, hey.

In the squad room, Elaine is looking at the TV.

ELAINE: Hey, hey, look! Fraser, Ray, you guys hit the big time!
FRANCESCA: Oh my God!

Everyone looks at the screen. Talbot is on the sidewalk with Kowalski detaining him.

REPORTER ON THE TV: . . . minutes after a man risked his life to save a little boy, he was led away in handcuffs. When the police officers who witnessed the good deed tracked the man —

Spender turns off the TV. The room in general protests ("Hey, what are you doing ? C'mon, man!"). He stalks off. Fraser and Kowalski look at each other.

Scene 13

Fraser and Kowalski are called on the carpet in Welsh's office.

SPENDER: Seven years he's been dead to the world, never had any problem. Five minutes after you guys get a hold of him, his face is on national TV. Why didn't you just stick a target right to his forehead?
KOWALSKI: Two magic words. "Witness protection." Why didn't he use them?
SPENDER: For security reasons I told him never to do that.
KOWALSKI: You rank that up there with one of your good ideas?
WELSH: All right, you're a little out of line, Detective.
FRASER: Sir, I wonder if I might ask a question?
SPENDER: Sure, if you can tell me how a Mountie fits into this.
FRASER: My name is Constable Benton Fraser —
WELSH: He originally came to Chicago on the trail of his father's killer.
KOWALSKI: And for a whole bunch of reasons he's decided to stick around.
FRASER: — attached as liaison with the Canadian Consulate.
SPENDER: What I meant was, what possible interest could a Canadian have in this?
FRASER: Nothing official, sir, beyond an ongoing interest in universal justice. Ah, no, what I was curious is what we might have planned by way of protecting —
SPENDER: Well, for starters, we aren't planning anything. It's my brother, my responsibility. Some things never change. Now, I would like to confer with Lieutenant Welsh. If you don't mind, I would like to do that in private.
FRASER: Understood.

He and Kowalski leave Welsh's office.

KOWALSKI: Confer with you? What is that? What kind of talk is that? Confer with your own suit, you federal jackass. That guy sucks.
FRASER: Well, you know, Ray, he's probably got reasons for privacy. I mean, after all, we were the cause of the problem.
KOWALSKI: [putting on his jacket] Well, maybe we made a mistake, maybe we didn't. But one thing I know. I hate when someone tells me to go to my room. Not when I'm in the middle of something. [They head out of the squad room.]
FRASER: You know, Ray, I may not share in your motivations, but in this situation . . .

There is a buzzing sound that covers the rest of what Fraser says. Maybe some time passes? Anyway, then Fraser and Kowalski come back into the squad room from the hallway, speaking to Elaine.

FRASER: . . . information. Your efforts are greatly appreciated.
ELAINE: Don't thank me, Fraser.
FRASER: Ah. [They have arrived at Francesca's desk.]
FRANCESCA: Okay. Okay, I can do this.
ELAINE: I know. [reaches over her and types] Okay, Bruce Spender. Here we go. Spender, Bruce. Died October eighth, nineteen-ninety-two, no next of kin, no services, body burned beyond recognition.
FRASER: U.S. Marshals faked his death. Is that standard procedure?
KOWALSKI: No, no, no. This guy got the deluxe package. Who'd he rat on?
ELAINE: Ah . . . [types around Francesca some more] It was a robbery. Armored car, four were arrested. Spender turned state's evidence on the other three. Dustin Mahoney, Michael Johnson, and Elliot Wells.
FRASER: You have any information on them?
ELAINE: Hard copy?
FRASER: Please.
FRANCESCA: Okay, okay. I can do this. [Elaine stops and backs off a bit.] Okay. Hard copy. [Kowalski points to a key on the keyboard, then does it again with a bit of a whistle.] Yeah — okay, I know, I know. [Kowalski points again. Sound cue: bit of a drum roll. Francesca presses a key nervously. An arrest record comes up. Sound cue: cymbals. She claps her hands.] Ha-ha! I told you I could do this.
FRASER: You are a natural.
FRASER: Thank you, Fraser.
ELAINE: [over a flashback showing Mahoney walking down the street ignoring a hooker and flicking a cigarette butt onto the sidewalk] That's Mahoney. Suspected in numerous armed robberies. This was his only conviction. Released a year ago for good behavior. They think maybe he killed another con when he was in prison.
FRASER: And that's good behavior?
FRANCESCA: [examining the keyboard] Well, it's all relative. I mean, if the con was Jeffrey Dahmer.
ELAINE: [exchanges a look with Fraser and Kowalski, then continues] Michael Johnson escaped from Leavenworth three years after he went in. [over a flashback of Johnson at a workbench sawing off a shotgun] Suspect in a gun store robbery in Louisville a couple months ago.
KOWALSKI: Great. So two out of two are on the street.
ELAINE: Make that three for three. Elliot Wells, paroled six months ago on the robbery, arrested a couple of weeks ago for holding up a gas station. Jumped bail. He's on the loose. [over a flashback of Wells watching TV and seeing the news report Spender just turned off in scene 12]
KOWALSKI: Well, that's great. Three guys on the street. Motive. Method. This boy's in a deep hole.
SPENDER: [coming into the squad room] Yes, he is. My brother's safety is my first priority. I would like to get him out of the state by sundown.
FRASER: Is that really necessary, sir? I mean, after all, this is a police station. One would think we'd be able —
SPENDER: No slight intended, Constable, but police stations are like a sieve, and these boys are nothing if they're not resourceful. I'd like some of your men to assist me.
KOWALSKI: Assist you. What does that mean, assist you?
WELSH: It means exactly what he says. I want you to give Deputy Director Spender all the assistance he needs.
SPENDER: Do you have a secure phone?
ELAINE: Yeah, right this way.
KOWALSKI: Do you got a secure phone. I don't like Kevin.
FRANCESCA: I don't like him either. [turns back to her keyboard] I mean, it's never really been my personal ambition to make friends with stuffed-shirt, uptight kind of people, you know. And if that's the usual trade that you have around . . . [looks up and realizes that in fact everyone has wandered off] . . . here . . .

Okay, a lot went on in this scene, but last part first: "trade"? Oh, Francesca, no.

I am with Francesca on the rest of the scene, though. How tiresome to be shadowing your predecessor on your first day at a new job and not even be allowed to attempt to do the things she's shown you how to do but obviously knows how to do much more comfortably because she's been doing them for years?

Fraser and Kowalski are both right, as far as what they're saying goes, except that it's pretty rich to tell Spender "after all, this is a police station" when we've just heard Cadet Exposition over here detail how three dangerous guys have jumped bail, escaped from prison, or been released despite committing actual murders while they were inside. Put another way, I can see Spender feeling like maybe the various departments of corrections aren't the most competent people he could be dealing with. On the other hand, this will have been a federal crime, which is why Johnson was in Leavenworth, a federal prison, and why Talbot is a federal witness, and maybe the Chicago Police Department and the Illinois Department of Corrections might be assumed to do a slightly better job than the U.S. Marshals Service and the Federal Bureau of Prisons? Or maybe not, but this is the first time Spender has started to throw his federal weight around in the way we're used to, where feds think they're better than local law enforcement.

Incidentally, Elaine says "Lewisville" or "Looseville" rather than "Louisville," which tells me she is not referring to Louisville, Kentucky, as that is neither of the correct pronunciations of that city, but to one of the following other Louisvilles:

• Alabama
• Colorado
• Georgia
• Illinois (frankly, this is probably the one she means)
• Mississippi
• New York
• Ohio
• or possibly to one of the places that goes ahead and spells its name Lewisville

and not to Louisville, Kansas; Louisville, Nebraska; Louisville, Tennessee; or either of the Louisvilles in Missouri.

The Jeffrey Dahmer reference is grim. I'll put it behind another tag, which you can click to expand or collapse:

Content warning: Extremely unpleasant personal violence

Jeffrey Dahmer was a serial killer who dismembered and in many cases raped and ate parts of the bodies of his victims. He was convicted in 1992 and killed in prison in 1994.

It feels right (a) that he'd still have been current enough for Francesca to refer to in 1997, (b) that Francesca would believe that some murders are worse than others (or, put another way, that some people need killing), and (c) that Elaine and the guys would probably think look, even if we agree with you (and we're not saying whether we do or don't), you can't say that kind of thing out loud.

Scene 14

Fraser knocks on the door of Welsh's office to talk to Talbot (Bruce).

FRASER: Hi. You all right?
TALBOT (BRUCE): Oh, yeah. I'm okay. I'm fine.
FRASER: Nice to see your brother.
BRUCE: Yeah. Long time.
SPENDER (KEVIN): Bruce? Bruce? Got to get moving.

Bruce goes with Kevin. Fraser stands in Welsh's doorway, pensive.

Scene 15

Huey steps out of the station and looks around. Kowalski is walking Kevin and Bruce down the hallway inside and calls him on the radio.

KOWALSKI: Huey?
HUEY: Looks good.
KOWALSKI: Team one, go.

Three guys, dressed to appear vaguely as if they are Kowalski and the two Spenders, get into a black sedan.

TEAM ONE: Check.
KOWALSKI: Team two, go.

Another three guys get in a red car on the other side of the building.

KEVIN: Ready?
KOWALSKI: Got anything yet?
TEAM TWO: Operation is secure.

Kowalski and the Spenders go outside. Kowalski looks around as they walk to a grey car; Kevin goes around to the passenger side and Kowalski opens both driver's side doors. Bruce gets in the back and Kowalski gets behind the wheel.

KOWALSKI: So far, so good.
SOMEONE ELSE ON THE RADIO: All clear.

A couple of guys are watching with binoculars from the roof. Kowalski drives around the block and into a garage.

KOWALSKI: How we doing, guys?
GUY ON THE ROOF: West entrance clear.
GUY SOMEWHERE ELSE: North entrance clear.
KEVIN: Give them the signal.
KOWALSKI: Send the dummy cars out. Wait to see if anyone follows. Keep all the entrances tight. After those cars leave, no one gets in or out, okay?
GUY ON THE ROOF: Perimeter's clear. Operation's a go.
KEVIN: All right. Let's make the transfer.
KOWALSKI: Hang on a second. All my men are covering the entrances.
KEVIN: That's where they should be.
KOWALSKI: There's no cover here.
KEVIN: We won't need it. Let's just do it, okay?
KOWALSKI: Okay. [He gets out of the car—they are on an upper deck of the garage—and speaks to the radio again.] Send up the transfer car.
SOMEONE ELSE ON THE RADIO: Transfer car on its way.
BRUCE: I'm, uh — I'm kind of scared, Kev.
KEVIN: Me too. [Kowalski puts his glasses on (with flipped-up sunglass lenses) as the transfer car, an old station wagon, arrives.] You ready?
BRUCE: Yep.

They get out of the car. Kevin flips open his phone, presses a speed dial, and closes his phone again.

KOWALSKI: Who'd you call?
KEVIN: Airport, let them know we're on our way. Not that you need to know.
KOWALSKI: [flips his shades down] Let's get it on.
KEVIN: All right. Let's go. Back seat.

Kowalski and the guy who had been driving the station wagon are looking around as Kevin is leading Bruce to the station wagon. There is a light from a sight scope on Bruce's back. Kowalski acts fast.

KOWALSKI: Down! [He tackles Bruce as a station wagon window is shot out.] Down, down, down! [He and the Spenders and the guy who had been driving the station wagon take cover behind it. There is a lot more gunfire, some of it at least semiautomatic. Kowalski grabs his radio.] Everybody, ground zero! Sniper! Now!
KEVIN: Where the hell are they?
KOWALSKI: One of those six buildings over there. Let's get him the hell out of here!
KEVIN: Too risky!
KOWALSKI: Oh, yeah, like this isn't? Come on. [He grabs Bruce and leads him away.] Come on, come on, come on!

One of the snipers has a black hat and mask. He shoots out another window of the station wagon. Kowalski returns fire. Kevin pops up from behind the car, also armed, looking for where to shoot.

RADIO: Backups are on their way.
KOWALSKI: Come on!

Another sniper has a red and white hat and mask. He shoots some more, and Kevin ducks.

BRUCE: Kevin!
KOWALSKI: Hey, Bruce, get in! [He shoves Bruce back into the first car.]
BRUCE: Kevin!

Kowalski peels away. One or both of the snipers shoot out the back windshield of the car he and Bruce are in, but he gets away down the parking lot ramp. Bruce is back by the station wagon. The shooting stops.

Poor Bruce! He's so scared.

Why are they doing this transfer on the top floor of a multilevel parking deck instead of somewhere with a roof? 🤔

Scene 16

Kevin and Welsh are in the hallway.

WELSH: Forensics is at the crime scene. When they get something, they'll send it right up.
KEVIN: You'll give this the blue ribbon treatment?
WELSH: You got it, from top to bottom.
SOMEONE COMING THE OTHER WAY: Lieutenant, got a minute? [He waves her down; he does not have a minute.]
KEVIN: As for Vecchio, I want him brought up on charges.
WELSH: Oh, and what charge would that be? Saving your brother's life? [Francesca is packing up and leaving the squad room.]
KEVIN: Well, kidnapping for a start. We'll see what else shakes out.
WELSH: Ah, come on, that's ridiculous. [They have reached his office.]
KEVIN: Oh, you think I'm ridiculous, huh? Well, let me tell you what I think. [He slams Welsh's office door.] I think someone in your department set my brother up.
WELSH: Nah, impossible. I know this department. They're all good men.
KEVIN: Good men who haven't even bothered to check in.
WELSH: Ah, don't worry. They'll check in.
KEVIN: Let me make myself perfectly clear, Lieutenant. The only reason I haven't brought in Justice and the Bureau is because I have some respect for you. But this is personal. This is my brother. I would go to the mat for him just like you would do for yours. Full bore. Do we understand each other?
WELSH: Yeah, I think we do.

Good men and women, if you please, Welsh. It's fair to note that Kowalski hasn't called in to say where the hell he's taken Bruce, but which of these randos is supposed to have blown Bruce in? They never heard of him before, like, yesterday.

Scene 17

Fraser and Kowalski are in Kowalski's apartment.

FRASER: How many assailants were there? [He catches a sleeping bag Kowalski tosses him from the bedroom.]
KOWALSKI: Hard to tell. I mean, there were shooters everywhere. [tosses him another bedroll, comes out with a cooler] You know what that's like. You hunker.
FRASER: And they were disguised?
KOWALSKI: Yeah, in disguises. By the size and build, I figured one of them to be Johnson, the other one to be Mahoney. I mean, these guys were good. They had us pegged. They were right inside us. I mean, they must want him bad. [Bruce is there too; he's on the floor building with sort of interlocking foam puzzle pieces.]
FRASER: Hmm.
KOWALSKI: Does that figure to you, Fraser?
FRASER: Does what figure to me?
KOWALSKI: That he masterminded the heist. Cause when I look at him, what does not come to mind is arch-criminal. I mean, the guy can barely tie his shoes.
BRUCE: The bank had three entrances. [Fraser and Kowalski look back at him. He is still building with the puzzle pieces.] The doors were controlled after business hours by a central computer on relay. Well, that bypass was easy. The vault codes were logged in sequence through two networks. Well, it took me months to sort through the algorithms, but once I found the key it was just a matter of refining the sequence and bypassing the time clocks. Everything was planned with precision and detail. The operation was undertaken and completed in precisely twenty-seven minutes and thirteen seconds. [He looks up at Kowalski.] And I can tie my shoes.

Kowalski smiles. There is a knock at the door; Fraser lets Francesca in.

FRANCESCA: Hi, Frase.
FRASER: Francesca.
KOWALSKI: Were you followed?
FRANCESCA: I don't know. People follow me all the time. I have an allure.
KOWALSKI: That's not what I asked. I was asking more along the line of police work.
FRANCESCA: You mean, like, criminals? [He nods.] No! Nobody followed me. Okay, so I have the, ah, background files. And a report that came in from Dallas. A guy named John Michaels was picked up for, ah, knocking flat a convenience store.
KOWALSKI: Knocking over.

Says the guy who talked about the Holy Grill.

FRANCESCA: Over, flat, down, sideways, God! Anyway, they ran his prints, and John Michaels is Michael Johnson.
KOWALSKI: So that makes Eliot Wells and Dustin Mahoney the shooters.
FRASER: It would seem likely. Bruce, I'm curious. Your plan was very meticulous, wasn't it?
BRUCE: Yes. It was a very good plan. Very graceful. Very good plan.
FRASER: Until someone told the police where you were hiding out.
BRUCE: But I didn't tell. I didn't tell.
FRANCESCA: You testified against them.
BRUCE: Yes, I testified, but I didn't tell.
FRASER: And now they want to kill you.
KOWALSKI: [looking out the window] Something's queer.
FRASER: What?
KOWALSKI: I don't know. Something's queer. [He picks up a big duffel bag.] Just move it. [Francesca gets up. They are all about to leave, but he stops and sees what Bruce has built.] I could do that. I choose not to.

It's a model of what is probably the Sears Tower, being how we're in Chicago.

I like having Francesca in on the plan. She can indeed do this! (But she probably was followed.)

Scene 18

Fraser, Francesca, Kowalski, and Bruce are in the hallway of Kowalski's building. Fraser stops and has a listen.

KOWALSKI: What is it?
FRASER: Two men just entered the building.
FRANCESCA: Well, they didn't follow me.
FRASER: Well, that may be true, but I believe that one of them just put a thirty-two-round clip into a machine pistol. A Mac-Ten, if I'm hearing the mechanism correctly. Back stairs. [He leads them to the back stairs.]
KOWALSKI: [waiting to bring up the rear] Go, go, go. [At the top of the back stairs, Fraser stops and raises a hand.] More?
FRASER: [nods] I can't tell about their weaponry. Roof. [They all head for the roof. Fraser climbs the ladder, then Bruce.]
FRANCESCA: Okay, so maybe I was followed, but if people are running around, sneaking and hiding, how the hell am I supposed to hear them?
KOWALSKI: After you.
FRANCESCA: Yeah. You wish.
KOWALSKI: Okay.

He starts to climb the ladder. Francesca follows him. Two guys come along the hallway and kick Kowalski's apartment door in.

Are they not going to be pinned on the roof? How are they going to get down from there?

Scene 19

A phone rings. Elaine answers it; she is at home.

ELAINE: Hello? . . . Fraser, is that you? Are you all right?
FRASER: Yes, thank you, Elaine. [He and Bruce and Francesca are with Kowalski in Kowalski's car. Francesca is leaning up from the back seat to do her makeup in the rearview mirror.]
ELAINE: What's going on?
FRASER: Did you find out any more about the bank robbers?
ELAINE: I ran a search on all Spender's accomplices. A guy got killed in Denver last month with one of Mahoney's aliases. I had the Denver PD compare his prints to Mahoney's. They matched.
FRASER: [to Kowalski] Mahoney's dead.
KOWALSKI: That just leaves Wells.
ELAINE: I got nothing on Wells. I could go back to the station, you know, keep digging.
FRASER: No, Elaine, you've got your graduation in the morning.
ELAINE: Oh, I'm all set. Uniform fits. You know what, I'm going to go back in. I'll call you if I come up with anything. Oh, and Fraser, just so you know? Welsh was in his office holed up waiting for the phone to ring when I left.
FRASER: Understood.

Is Welsh still waiting for Kowalski to call in?

Scene 20

Kevin Spender is still with Welsh in his office.

KEVIN: Three hours, not a word. Is that how things usually work in this department, Lieutenant?
WELSH: Not ordinarily. They gotta have a reason.
KEVIN: Well, I can't wait around to hear it. I'm moving now.
HUEY: [sticking his head in the office] I got Fraser on line one.
WELSH: [punches line 1] Where the hell are you, Constable?
FRASER: We're all right, sir, for the moment.
WELSH: Yeah, well, you pick a location, we'll meet.
FRASER: Well, I'm not entirely sure that would be safe, Lieutenant —
WELSH: Well, I'm not entirely sure what you're doing is any better.
FRASER: You may be right, sir, but I think in a situation like this the fewer people that know, the better.
KEVIN: [picks up an extension] This is Deputy Director Spender, Constable. I appreciate your efforts, and I'm willing to believe you think you're doing the right thing, but I want my brother and I want him now! If you keep getting in my way, I'll hit you with obstruction charges so hard it'll kill your entire family!

Fraser hangs up.

WELSH: Ah, great move, Spender. What do we do now?

Shows what Spender knows. While it's true Fraser does have a habit of going into hiding with federal witnesses someone is trying to kill, his entire family is already dead.

Scene 21

Bruce leans up from the back seat to talk to Fraser.

BRUCE: Kevin's mad?
FRASER: Mm-hmm.
BRUCE: He's just worried, though. He's just worried about me.
FRASER: We'll see him soon.
KOWALSKI: So?
FRASER: They want to talk.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, I bet they do. Look, I don't like this. Where's this safe house you got in mind?
FRANCESCA: Yeah, what are the sleeping arrangements, Frase?
FRASER: Ah, fairly rudimentary. The place I'm considering, uh, has no heat.
FRANCESCA: Oh, so, I guess I'll have to curl up to something really warm then, won't I?
KOWALSKI: And you're going to get it, Frannie. It's a little place called home.

Fraser is smiling quite patiently at Francesca when she talks about curling up to something warm. Kowalski, on the other hand, has little if any patience with her. How's he taking her home, though? I mean, where's she living now? Didn't her house burn down two episodes ago?

Scene 22

Fraser leads Bruce and Kowalski into a small vacant apartment.

KOWALSKI: Oh, nice place.
FRASER: It was Constable Turnbull's, but he decided he didn't need anything quite so fancy.
KOWALSKI: Oh, so where does he live now? Cardboard box?
FRASER: Mm-hmm. Very nice one, though. [He looks out the window, where he can see police lights and hear a siren. A moment later, Bruce is unrolling a sleeping bag.] I see you've had some experience with bedrolls.
BRUCE: Well, I was a Scout.
FRASER: Really? So was I. Mind you, our troop was very small. It was just me, my friend Innussiq, and his sister, June.
BRUCE: [giggling] A girl? A girl was in Boy Scouts?
FRASER: Well, but, you know, you can't really have a troop with only two boys, and she had very short hair, so —
KOWALSKI: [raising his hand] I got short hair.
FRASER: Well, we're lucky. We have a troop.
KOWALSKI: Woo-hoo!
BRUCE: Will I have to go to jail?
KOWALSKI: No, no, no, no, no. You got some big guns on your side. A DD from the Justice Department? That carries a lot of weight.
BRUCE: Yeah, I know, I know. Kevin's always been there.
FRASER: He has, hasn't he? Right from the beginning.
BRUCE: Yeah, right from the beginning.
FRASER: Well, troop, it's time to tuck in. [He lies down on his bedroll and crosses his arms over his chest like a corpse.]
KOWALSKI: Ah, come on, Fraser, we don't really have to sleep on the floor, do we?
FRASER: Yes.
KOWALSKI: Look, I do this, I want a badge. A tuck-in-on-the-floor-I-hurt-my-back badge.
FRASER: I'll get you one.
KOWALSKI: Okay.
FRASER: Akela, we'll do our best. We'll dyb, dyb, dyb.
BRUCE: We'll dob, dob, dob.

Kowalski in this scene (his smile watching Bruce reminisce about Scouts, his volunteering to be in the troop because he has short hair, his reassuring Bruce that he won't have to go to jail) is impossibly sweet. Fraser's "Akela, we'll do our best" is the Cub Scout "Grand Howl;" dyb stands for "do your best" and dob for "do our best."

Scene 23

Fraser is still lying on top of a bedroll on the floor of Turnbull's old apartment. Kowalski and Bruce are both bundled up in sleeping bags. It is morning, and Kowalski's phone rings. He struggles with his sleeping bag. Fraser comes over and tries to help him get out.

KOWALSKI: Hey! Ah, ah — got it! [He finally does get it.] Yeah?
ELAINE: Good morning, Ray.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, if you say so. [He lies back down, but whatever Elaine says makes him sit up again.] Right. On my way. [He hangs up the phone and gets all the way out of the sleeping bag.] Ah. Motel clerk recognized a mug shot of Elliot Wells.
FRASER: Excellent.
KOWALSKI: Ahh. You better watch him. I'll give you a call when we wrap up.

Kowalski leaves the apartment.

I feel icky for him, just thinking about his having slept on the floor, in a sleeping bag, in all his clothes. Ugh.

Scene 24

Kowalski and Huey kick in a bedroom door, guns drawn. A man and a young woman are in there. She screams. Kowalski goes directly to him; Huey goes directly to her.

KOWALSKI: Hey! Don't move! Down!
YOUNG WOMAN: Look, I don't even know this guy.
KOWALSKI: Drop the gun. Up.
HUEY: You can get acquainted with him downtown. Get your clothes on, let's go.
KOWALSKI: You Elliot Wells?
WELLS: Maybe.
KOWALSKI: "Maybe." Check out the big brain on Elliot. Come on, move it.
HUEY: Come on, come on.
KOWALSKI: Put your clothes on. [He and Huey hustle Wells and the young woman out of the room.] "Maybe."

We don't normally see much police work that Fraser isn't involved with, do we? On that level, this is a nice change of pace.

Scene 25

Back at Turnbull's apartment, Fraser and Bruce are breaking down their camp.

FRASER: In the end, Innussiq and I both earned our cooking badge, but June, she never did. That poor girl, she couldn't boil a pot of water if the future of western civilization depended on it. [The phone rings.] Hello, this is Detective Vecchio's cellular telephone, ah, Constable Benton Fraser answering.
KOWALSKI: "Hello" is enough, Fraser.
FRASER: Right.
KOWALSKI: We got the guy, but he doesn't look good for the shooting. Spent the whole night with a hooker. And that call I told you about? Elaine checked with the airport guys — never heard anything.
FRASER: [sighs] So that confirms it, then.
KOWALSKI: Yeah.
FRASER: All right. Thank you, Ray.
KOWALSKI: Yeah. [Fraser hangs up.]
BRUCE: Everything okay?
FRASER: Yeah. So tell me, was Kevin a Scout also?
BRUCE: Oh, no, no. Not Kevin, no. He was always looking after things, though. And he looked after me. He did. You know, even when things got ugly, he looked after me. He did.
FRASER: And did things get ugly?
BRUCE: Yeah. We'd move. We moved around. And there were people sometimes who were ugly. Yeah. And I, I, I, I, I don't mean here. [He points to his face.] I mean here. [He points to his chest.] And, ah, sometimes — well, one time — one time, I . . . [sighs] I miss Kevin.
FRASER: One time what, Bruce?
BRUCE: We'd just moved. New place, new town, new everything. We were in a gang, boys in a gang, and, ah, they didn't like me. But Kevin knew it. And the leader of the gang, his brother always wanted a boomerang. Hm? Can you imagine that?
FRASER: Yeah, I can. I, I always wanted a bola.
BRUCE: Yeah. Yeah. Same thing. Same thing. Yeah. So one day, Kevin found a boomerang. Found it. In a closet. And he gave it to me. So the other guys would like me. A beautiful boomerang. But the leader's brother wanted it. So we had to fight for it.
FRASER: Mm, you had to fight because that was the code of the gang?
BRUCE: Yeah. Kevin didn't like it. Didn't like it at all. But I had to stand on my own two feet. I had to. But I couldn't. And I disappointed him. I did. Because I got hit. I got hit a lot. And I lost. And I lost it. I lost my boomerang Kevin gave me.
FRASER: Did you say he found it in a closet?
BRUCE: Yeah. Benchley boomerang. Found it. Found it in a closet.
FRASER: [goes and opens the closet] It was made of wood?
BRUCE: Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful wood.
FRASER: [comes back with a wooden coat hanger] Did it look sort of like this?
BRUCE: Sort of.
FRASER: [pulls the hook out of the hanger] More like this, then.
BRUCE: Just like that, yeah.

Fraser gives Bruce the hanger. Bruce takes it and looks at it and knows.

OH MY GOD, the way these two guys play this scene. I can't. Here's Bruce telling the story that he believes illustrates how much his brother has always loved him. This guy has to be at least in his mid-40s (Brent Carver will have been 46ish at the time the episode was made; Ron White (1953–2018), who played Kevin, was a little younger, for what that's worth), and figure this boomerang incident happened when he was probably not older than about 10? And he's still so upset with himself for having lost his brother's gift. Look at his thousand-yard stare when he says "I lost it." And then look at how Fraser wants so badly not to ask "Did you say he found it in a closet?" (I don't know what "Benchley boomerang" means. Maybe the hanger had a brand name stamped on it?) And when he shows Bruce the hanger—as we've learned, Bruce isn't actually an idiot, and you can see him not want to know what he has just begun to realize. And Fraser pulls the hook out of the hanger and he's so sad; and Bruce takes the hanger and he is so. sad.

I've always wanted to believe that Young Kevin gave Young Bruce the hanger and told him it was a boomerang because it made Young Bruce happy and he couldn't tell the difference. But looking at the sadness on Bruce's face, where after all these years he understands, I think I have to admit that Young Kevin gave Young Bruce the hanger and told him to tell the other kids it was a boomerang; he threw his brother under the bus so he could fit in. 💔

FRASER: Bruce, I think that Kevin has been lying to you. And I think he's very worried that someone might tell.
BRUCE: Might tell what?
FRASER: That the robbery was his idea.
BRUCE: No. It was mine. It was my plan.
FRASER: It was your plan, but it was his idea, wasn't it?
BRUCE: Kevin would never hurt me. God, he would never hurt me.
FRASER: How do you know?
BRUCE: I can ask him.
FRASER: I think you should.

He dials Kowalski's phone and hands it to Bruce.

I mean, I think I've said what I had to say about this scene—I just couldn't wait until the end of the scene to say it.

Scene 26

A big ol' Chevy Suburban is driving through a woods. It is raining. Music cue: "Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits. Kevin Spender, Lt. Welsh, and three other guys get out and are immediately drenched. Kevin and Welsh head up the road while the other three guys wait with the truck. Fraser, Bruce, Kowalski, and Diefenbaker step out of the brush. Welsh heads for them. Bruce starts running, excited to see Kevin, but he looks back at Fraser to make sure it's okay. Fraser gives him a little nod. He and Welsh cross paths. Bruce reaches Kevin, who hugs him. Kevin hugs back. They start to walk back toward the car. Our Chicago PD and RCMP heroes remain visible in the background.

KEVIN: I understand you have some questions.
BRUCE: No. No, Kevin. [changes his mind] Yeah. Yeah, I do.
KEVIN: So hit me.
BRUCE: Yeah. Yeah, that's the question. Do you remember the boomerang?
KEVIN: The what?
BRUCE: The boomerang. Do you remember the boomerang?
KEVIN: What about it?
BRUCE: Was it a boomerang?
KEVIN: What are you asking?
BRUCE: Was it a boomerang?
KEVIN: Bruce, in six days I stand before the Senate. The Senate of the United States of America.
BRUCE: It wasn't a boomerang?
KEVIN: I am talking about a directorship. Don't you understand that?
BRUCE: They're going to ask about me? They'll ask about me and then, and, and, and, you won't know what to say?
KEVIN: I can't carry you any more.
BRUCE: You could say, say that you're my brother, that you love me, and you could say that. You could just say that you love me.
KEVIN: They will find out about the robbery. You'll tell them. You won't be able to help yourself. And I will lose everything that I have worked for. I can't let that happen, Bruce. I do love you. [hugs him] Just get in the car and we'll work it out.
BRUCE: No, Kev, I can't do that.

Kevin reaches into his coat pocket.

These mist-covered mountains

KEVIN: Bruce —
FRASER: [to Diefenbaker] Go!

Diefenbaker barks and runs toward Kevin and Bruce.

KEVIN: — get in the car now. [He holds a gun to Bruce's belly.]
BRUCE: No.

Are home now for me

Diefenbaker tackles Kevin. The three guys back at the Suburban start firing. Bruce runs back toward Fraser. Kowalski returns fire.

WELSH: Come on, Bruce, run!
KOWALSKI: Get him out of here!

The four of them duck back into the woods.

But my home is the lowlands
And always will be

KEVIN: Okay, boys, let's go get him!

Kevin and his guys run after the good guys.

WELSH: Why'd you pick this place?
FRASER: Well, I thought Kevin would be more forthcoming if he thought he had the upper hand.
KOWALSKI: Worked great, except they do have the upper hand! [more gunfire]
BAD GUY: Stay down, I've got them covered. Stay down!
FRASER: Well, not for long. [They all cover behind a fallen tree.] Bruce, you all right? [Bruce nods.]

Someday you'll return to
Your valleys and your farms

WELSH: Reloading!
KOWALSKI: Two at twelve o'clock!

And you'll no longer burn to be brothers in arms

WELSH: I got 'em!
KOWALSKI: Three at one o'clock.
FRASER: Ray!
KOWALSKI: Four at five o'clock. [reloading]
FRASER: Ray!
KOWALSKI: Oh, man.
FRASER: We just have to get over this hill.
KOWALSKI: Okay, that's it. Check, please!

Kowalski pops up and fires off another couple of shots. So does Welsh, and then Our Heroes sprint to get over the hill.

BAD GUY: We've got 'em on the run. Let's go, come on!

This is the first time we've seen Welsh use a gun or really be involved in a police operation at all. (He turned up at the scrapyard at the end of "The Duel" and he was in the car calling the action in "The Promise," so okay, he's been involved, but now he's really participating differently, innit.)

Bruce running toward Kevin is adorable. He's got his sleeves pulled down over his hands and he's running like a little kid; I'm sorry, I'm not going to be able to stop flailing over this performance. The way he checks back with Fraser. 💔 And then Kevin is in fact planning to Disappear him! Ugh, Kevin, what an asshole. I'll give him 5% for being upset that he "has to" get rid of his brother; he's not a psychopathic villain who's taking any pleasure in destroying people. But that makes him worse! Doesn't it? He's decided somewhere along the way that his job, whatever it is, is more important than his brother, whom he (says he) loves. What the fuck, Kevin?

Incidentally, here are the Senate confirmable positions at DOJ in 1997:

• without "director" in their name: Attorney General, Deputy Attorney General, Associate Attorney General, Solicitor General, Inspector General, Assistant AG/Policy Development, Assistant AG/Legal Counsel, Assistant AG/Legislative Affairs, Assistant AG/Antitrust, Assistant AG/Civil, Assistant AG/Civil Rights, Assistant AG/Criminal Division, Assistant AG/Environmental and Natural Resources, Assistant AG/Tax, the entire U.S. Parole Commission (five members), the entire Foreign Claims Settlement Commission (three members), Assistant AG/Office of Justice Programs, Administrator of the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, almost all U.S. Attorneys (81 positions; it's not clear to me why the U.S. Attorneys for Bangor, Maine, and Baltimore, Maryland, are not listed as requiring Senate confirmation), Commissioner of the INS, both Administrator and Deputy Administrator of the DEA, all U.S. Marshals (92 positions)
• directorships:
  • Community Relations Service (CRS)
  • Bureau of Justice Assistance (BJA)
  • Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS)
  • National Institute of Justice (NIJ)
  • Office for Victims of Crime (OVC)
  • Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
  • U.S. Marshals Service (USMS)

That's 207 positions, of which seven are directorships. At the same time, there were 11 appointed positions in the entire DOJ called "deputy director," none of which were subject to Senate confirmation:

• Deputy Director of the Office of Public Affairs
• Deputy Director, Office of International Affairs (in the Criminal division)
• two Deputy Directors at the Office of Community Oriented Policing Services
• a Deputy Director and a Deputy Director for Operations at BJA
• a Deputy Director at NIJ
• a Deputy Director at OVC
• a Deputy Director at the Executive Office for U.S. Trustees
• a Deputy Director for Operations at USMS
• Deputy Director, Office of Public Liaison & Intergovernmental Affairs (in the Office of Intergovernmental Affairs)

The directorships of the ATF (2008) and the Office on Violence Against Women (2004) require Senate confirmation now but didn't in 1997; and since 2012 the directorships of BJA, BJS, NIJ, and OVC no longer require Senate confirmation.

In addition to the presidentially appointed but not Senate confirmed deputy directors, there are career (nonappointed) deputy or principal deputy directors at CRS, BJA, BJS, NIJ, OVC, FBI, and USMS (as well as at ATF and OVW). So Kevin could be sitting in one of approximately a couple of dozen deputy directorships and about to be elevated to director, I guess? In which case, given that he's (a) running around armed and (b) connected somehow with the Witness Protection Program, I guess I'll conclude that he's with the U.S. Marshals Service? But like I said earlier, if that were the case, he'd have said so, rather than calling himself "Deputy Director of Justice."

Kowalski is fighting off way more guys than are actually fighting him, isn't he? Two at 12:00, three at 1:00, four at 5:00? He's surrounded by nine guys? When in fact there are a total of four guys and they're coming at our heroes from one direction (because the good guys have a hill behind them)? Maybe that's the nod to the fact that he doesn't have his glasses, because otherwise he seems to be shooting relatively straight without them.

Scene 27

Elaine and her Academy class are graduating in a covered gazebo situation on, as it turns out, the hill that our heroes just need to get over. Is it possible the person behind her has a cat sitting at his feet?

ACADEMY DIRECTOR: All of you have worked hard to make the grade. But I know it's been worth it. Now you take on the satisfaction of knowing that you are among Chicago's very — [They can hear the gunshots from the ongoing battle.] — finest. This is only the beginning. Now you take on the responsibilities and duties of police officers and — [The gun battle is getting closer.] — Some of your friends seem to be celebrating already with firecrackers.

Elaine stands up.

ELAINE: Excuse me, sir.
ACADEMY DIRECTOR: Sit down, Cadet. You'll get to come up in a minute. [Elaine sits down, but there are more gunshots and she immediately stands up again.] I said, sit down.
ELAINE: But that gunfire, sir. I think officers are in trouble.
ACADEMY DIRECTOR: In the middle of my speech? Don't be ridiculous. Now, if you want to graduate, sit down.

Elaine hears more gunshots and is distressed.

Scene 28

Fraser and the good guys are tromping up the hillside.

Through these fields of destruction

BAD GUY: We've got 'em on the run.
FRASER: We're just about there. [A bullet hits the trunk of the tree he's hiding behind.]

Baptisms of fire

WELSH: All right, you guys get going! We'll cover you!

Kowalski fires a bunch more shots, then ducks behind his tree again.

FRASER: You ready?
BRUCE: [nods] Yeah.
WELSH: Get down. Go!
FRASER: Let's go!

I've witnessed your suffering
As the battle raged high

Welsh and Kowalski return a lot of fire. Fraser and Bruce climb to the top of the hill. But just as they are about to get there, the entire graduating Academy class and some number of their instructors come over the hill and join the good-guy effort.

And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me, my brothers in arms

WELSH: Hey, calvary's coming. It's just like the movies.

He meant "cavalry."

The cadets continue to advance down the hill toward the beleaguered garrison (that is, Welsh and Kowalski) and the baddies, calling out "Chicago PD" and moving in for arrests. Kevin peeks out from behind a tree with his gun drawn, and his next target is Bruce. Bruce stands with his arms spread, challenging Kevin to shoot him. Kevin hesitates. Kowalski's shooting finally hits one of the bad guys with the repeating guns. Kevin runs away instead of shooting Bruce.

ANOTHER BAD GUY: Wait, where's he going? What's going on?

There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Fraser chases Kevin down the hill. Bruce is watching. Elaine and the cadets are surrounding the remaining (if I'm counting correctly) two baddies.

ELAINE: Okay, scumball! [Several of her classmates have their guns aimed at the guy, whose hands are raised. She takes his gun and kicks his feet apart.]
ACADEMY DIRECTOR: Don't forget to check for an ankle holster.
ELAINE: Yes, sir! [She hands the guy's gun to one of her buddies and checks him for an ankle holster.]
ACADEMY DIRECTOR: What do you do as soon as the suspect is controlled?
ELAINE: Read him his Miranda rights, sir!
ACADEMY DIRECTOR: Good, good. Excellent, excellent.

The other baddie is running, but Kowalski is gaining on him.

KOWALSKI: Drop your weapon! [The guy stops short before trying to jump over a fallen tree trunk.] Drop it or I will put a bullet right through your head! Drop the gun! [The guy drops his gun.] On your knees. On your knees! Hands behind your back! [The guy kneels down and is putting his hands behind his back, and then a swarm of cadets arrive.]
ACADEMY DIRECTOR: Carefully, carefully, carefully. Very good! All right, now. What do we do after we've controlled a suspect?
KOWALSKI: Uh. [All the cadets are looking at him.] Kick him in the head?

I think we're supposed to think the cadets' arrival is like this ("Rohirrim! To the King!"), but they do turn out to be sort of like this (the Scrubbing Bubbles of the Dead), don't they? I don't know how Elaine managed to convince the Academy Director to suspend the ceremony in favor of riding to the aid of Kowalski and Welsh, but I approve. I'm also entertained, as I guess we're meant to be, at the teaching-hospital-style arrest procedures happening at the end of the scene. Your interns go exactly by the book; your established residents just get it done.

Scene 29

Kevin has run back to his Suburban and is about to get back in when Fraser tackles him into a mud puddle. They struggle for a moment, scrambling for Kevin's gun, and then they both get up.

Now the sun's gone to hell and
The moon's riding high

Kevin won the scramble for his gun, and he cocks it and aims it at Fraser.

Let me bid you farewell

BRUCE: Kevin!

Kevin turns around. Bruce is right behind him, training one of the bad guys' long semiautos at him.

Every man has to die

Kevin looks at Bruce. Bruce does not back down.

But it's written in the starlight
And every line in your palm
We're fools to make war on our brothers in arms

Bruce does not back down. Fraser watches the two brothers but doesn't move. Kevin knows he's beaten; he hangs his head.

I sort of think of Bruce aiming the gun at Kevin as the "and I can tie my shoes" of the gun battle, right? Bruce has reached the point where he's all but saying "Okay, if this is how it's going to be, if this is what we're doing, then I'll do that, because you do know I can do it, too, don't you?"

Brent Carver had a slender dancer's build, but he was 5'11" according to IMDb, and I'm so impressed with how he managed to look so small and slight. I mean they dressed him in clothes that were a little too big and they doused him with cold water so he looked like a half-drowned puppy, but everyone else was sopping wet as well, including Rennie (the other long skinny dude) and Bruhier (5'6"), and they didn't look like they were about to dissolve like a paper doll.

The use of "Brothers in Arms" probably always makes a person feel like it's do-or-die time, doesn't it? Mark Knopfler has, as it has been said, an extraordinary ability to make a Schechter Custom Stratocaster hoot and sing like angels on a Saturday night, exhausted from being good all week and needing a stiff drink. With apologies to the late, great Douglas Adams, perhaps Knopfler can also make a Gibson Les Paul Standard weep like an angel who hasn't had a day off in a couple of years. I don't know, I had a thought here but it's not crystallizing properly.

Scene 30

The Academy graduation ceremony has resumed. A newly commissioned officer takes his certificate and shakes the director's hand to general applause.

ACADEMY DIRECTOR: Elaine Besbriss. [Elaine comes forward. The crowd applauds, including Kowalski, Fraser, and Welsh. She shakes the director's hand.] Congratulations, Elaine. You're one of the first cadets to graduate with an arrest already under your belt. [The crowd cheers.] Let's hope it's the first of many.
ELAINE: Thank you, sir.
ACADEMY DIRECTOR: You're welcome.

Afterward, Elaine is walking with Fraser and Kowalski. It has stopped raining and the ground is apparently not even all that wet.

FRASER: You know, Elaine, my graduation marked the beginning of one of the most exciting periods of my career. I received my first posting. It was to a very remote community perched on the edge of a —
KOWALSKI: An ice floe. Uh, look, love you like a brother, Fraser, but, ah, let's not hear about that right now.
FRASER: Understood.

Welsh is standing with Bruce, who is watching Kevin being loaded into a patrol car. Diefenbaker barks.

KOWALSKI: So, you're gone, Elaine. I'm never going to find another file. Who's going to transfer the calls? Hey, who's going to order pizza?
ELAINE: I'm sure Francesca will work out fine.
KOWALSKI: Oh, no, no, she belongs on the Home Shopping Network, not at a police station.

They arrive where Welsh and Bruce are standing.

FRASER: How did it go?
WELSH: Well, Bruce has to go to Washington to answer some questions about Kevin. [Bruce nods a bit.] After that, he's free to go wherever he chooses.
FRASER: Would you excuse us? [He and Bruce move a few steps away.] Where are you going to go?
BRUCE: [has evidently not thought about it] I don't know.
FRASER: You don't want to stay in Chicago.
BRUCE: No. No, I don't think so.
FRASER: I understand.
BRUCE: You know, maybe when I'm in Chicago, I could come and play with your dog sometime.
FRASER: Yes. Any time.
BRUCE: Okay.

This is another case where we don't know what's going to happen to the person our heroes saved (see also: Celine in "Some Like It Red," Sid and Andie in "The Promise"), and while on the one hand those other cases involved kids and this guy is a grown adult, haven't they shown that he's a grown adult who could probably benefit from some looking after? Social services? Maybe not; he was doing fine all that time on his own and it was really just the reporter's fault that this whole episode happened in the first place, and now he doesn't need federal protection anymore (if he ever really did need it in the first place, which I guess he did while his co-conspirators were still living), so he needn't be so concerned about anybody ever seeing him again, and he can indeed go wherever he likes and just live his life and be left the hell alone.

The title of the episode is a reference to On the Waterfront (1954), in which Brando (him again!) plays a washed-up prize fighter working as a longshoreman, who does a job for a union boss that turns out to involve him in a murder. He's eventually coming around to being willing to testify, and the union boss sends his brother to talk him out of it—his brother having convinced him, years ago, to take a dive in his last fight. Brando says "You was my brother, Charlie. You shoulda looked out for me a little bit. . . . You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it." The brother relents and gives him his own gun, and the brother is later killed for letting him go. I think we're mapping Bruce here to the Brando character and Kevin to Charlie the Gent? which seems about right, because while Kevin may not be killed at the end of this episode, he's certainly not going to get his directorship, is he.

Cumulative body count: 24
Red uniform: The whole episode

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Comments

[resonant]

there were no children in Alert, including Fraser

I love this. I feel like lots of people have seen Fraser be childish like an adult, but so far I've only seen Mark Smithbauer see him be childish like a child.

[fox]

Whoa. I meant "I dispute that Fraser ever actually lived in Alert," but I like your interpretation (what I should have meant) way, way better.