return to due South: season 3 episode 6 "Bounty Hunter"

[fox]

Bounty Hunter
air date October 19, 1997

Scene 1

Fraser and Diefenbaker are walking through an eerily vacant police station. There are Dutch angles and spooky sounds all over the place. A flyer reading "FOP union meeting" is visible as they pass by. Diefenbaker barks and runs down the hall. Fraser looks around as if he were in a horror film or a nightmare. Voices are vaguely audible. Fraser comes along the hall, looking in a room. Diefenbaker grumbles and comes running from behind him again, as if he'd gone around in a circle. The voices get louder. Fraser looks around. Finally he goes into the squad room.

The phones are ringing off the hook, but nobody is at their desks. People are shouting. A few presumably civilian employees are hanging around outside the break room; inside is in fact a union meeting. People are waving ballots or pay stubs or something. Kowalski is at the back of the crowd with a cup of coffee looking uncomfortable. Welsh is leaning on the doorframe watching. Kowalski gives Welsh the "bunt" sign.

WELSH: Organized labor in all its glory. What do you think?
FRASER: It seems rather disorganized to me. I keep hearing the word "strike."
WELSH: Strike? No, no. [leading him back toward the squad room] See, a strike would be illegal. What you do is, you cram fifty guys into one room, and you figure out who's going to be the first to come down with the flu. Cough, cough, well, what do you know? They all have the flu now. The Blue Flu. So what appears to be a strike is not actually a strike at all. It's just fifty guys who can't wait to get home and shake hands with the unemployed. [The phones are still ringing.] Would you mind, please?
FRASER: I'd be honored.
WELSH: [answers one line] Detectives division.
FRASER: [answers another line] Squad room.
WELSH: Yes.
FRASER: Uh, yes, sir. You'll have to, ah, you'll have to calm down. And can you tell me your name, please? Henry. Ah, Henry. Do you have a last name, Henry? No, I'm, I'm not trying to be inquisitive.

Is it the position of this program that Benton Fraser, RCMP, is a scab? I suppose if the police are not actually striking, his answering their phones isn't actually crossing a picket line so we don't have to actually think that badly of him. But damn.

Scene 2

In the break room, Huey is standing on a table orating.

HUEY: This offer is insulting! [The assembled crowd cheers.] They're laughing at us! [They cheer again.] We deserve respect! [They cheer again.]
DEWEY: [roused] I am not a police officer! I am a man!

Everyone stares at him. Kowalski leaves the break room.

Okay I'm not in a hurry to be sympathetic to law enforcement in general, but (a) I am in a hurry to be sympathetic to organized labor and (b) if the offer is only a couple of percentage points above the $35,580 Vecchio was pulling down when he made first grade back in "Juliet is Bleeding," then yes, it is insulting.

Dewey's outburst is likely a reference to the 1968 Memphis sanitation strike, in which the Black laborers carried signs saying "I AM A MAN" (especially relevant in the face of "boy" as a racist pejorative used to deny dignity to Black men of all ages). It also feels to me like a reference to The Prisoner, in which the hero, imprisoned in a charming village where he is known only as Number Six, insists "I am not a number! I am a free man!" (and then they laugh at him); likewise, the Elephant Man says "I am not an elephant! I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!" In any case, the rest of the crowd are staring at him like he's lost the plot because the difference between him and the Elephant Man, Number Six, and the Memphis sanitation workers is that he is a White dude with a professional job who is not in any circumstances being threatened, imprisoned, or oppressed. Perhaps he feels his labor is being exploited and he deserves more fair salary and benefits; but unlike any of those he could be evoking when he says "I am a man!" he could get himself a different situation at any time. Fortunately, his colleagues seem to realize that.

Scene 3

Kowalski goes into the squad room, where Fraser is still on the phone with Henry.

FRASER: Henry, don't you see? You're creating an impossible situation for yourself. You can't be expected to know everything. No, I think you should sit down with your wife, I think you should talk to her, and I think you should listen to her. No, no, no, no, no, no, Henry, I am not suggesting that your wife is always right, but in this case, she may well be. Yes. Well, yes, I do believe that a three-sixteenths ratchet head wrench is exactly what's called for. Yes, I am Canadian. It's my pleasure, and, ah, thank you kindly. [He hangs up the phone.]
KOWALSKI: What do you think you're doing?
FRASER: [The phone rings again.] People are calling for help.
KOWALSKI: But you don't work here, Fraser. We do. We'll handle it. [shooing him away from the desk] Come on. Amscray. [He answers the phone.] Chicago PD, area seven, detective division.

A woman pushes through the squad room doors like a stranger walking into an Old West saloon. She looks around at how busy it isn't.

WOMAN: Hi.
FRANCESCA: Hi.
WOMAN: You work here?
FRANCESCA: Yeah. One of the very few.
WOMAN: Yeah. I'm, ah, Janet Morse. [She hands Francesca a document of some kind.] I'm in from, ah, Montana, and, ah — [She is feeling her pockets for her wallet or something when two girls and a boy crash in through the doors behind her.] — Hey, hey, hey. I told you guys to wait in the truck. [The boy, who is about seven or eight, runs off into the squad room right away.] Robbie!
KOWALSKI: [on the phone] Your name, sir? Bob? [He puts the phone down for a length of time calculated to be frustrating.]
ROBBIE: Let's see what's in this room.
KOWALSKI: Hmm. How do you spell that? [Bob On the Phone yells at him. He looks at the receiver, amused.]
WOMAN (JANET): [picking up her youngest, speaking to her eldest] Honey — Annie, can you tell your sister not to be scared, please?
ANNIE: [who is about nine or ten] Well, there's nothing to be scared about. Until the swamp monster eats your head.
LITTLE SISTER: [who is about four or five] Mommy! [hides her face in mom's neck]
JANET: Thanks a lot. Sorry about this.
ROBBIE: No way! A Mountie!
FRANCESCA: Pretty cute, actually.
JANET: Yeah, if you're into pain. Um, Annie, honey, would you go and get your brother for me, sweetheart, please? [Annie rolls her eyes and complies, hating it, so maybe she's more like 11 or 12]
ROBBIE: [runs by, wearing Fraser's hat] They got a candy machine.

Annie runs after him, and the youngest jumps down out of Janet's arms and runs with them.

JANET: Oh jeez. Just give me a sec, will you? Sorry. [following her children] Kids, kids, hey, hey, hey! [They have gone into the labor meeting.]
HUEY: Now, we've got to do what we think is right.
JANET: Jeez. [squeezing between cops] Sorry. Excuse me.
HUEY: But if you happen to wake up tomorrow and feeling not so good —
JANET: [pushing through to find her kids] I'm sorry. Sorry. Excuse me.
HUEY: — feel free to call in and exercise your right — [Janet has dropped something. She bends down to pick it up, but Huey sees it and reacts quickly.] — Gun!

Everyone in the room says "Gun!" and "Freeze!" and draws their guns and racks their slides within about a second. Janet has her hands well out from her body and is making absolutely no sudden movements as she stands up away from her gun and looks at the barrels of several dozen service weapons.

JANET: Hi, guys. A little touchy today?
LITTLE SISTER: [coming through the crowd, unfazed by the guns] Mommy, I want to go back to the truck.
JANET: Okay, hon.
ROBBIE: [also unperturbed] Mom, can I have fifty cents for the candy machine?
JANET: In a minute, sweetheart. Momma's a little busy right now.
FRASER: [picks up Janet's gun] Gentlemen, please. I'm sure she has a legitimate reason for having this weapon.
FRANCESCA: [coming through the crowd from the squad room] Excuse me. You want to get that gun out of my face? You can all relax with the gun action. What are you, Arnold Schwarzenegger? [hands Fraser the document Janet gave her before] She does have a legitimate reason. She's a bounty hunter.
JANET: [over some vocal grumbling reactions] Anybody got a problem with that?

The entire 27th precinct stands down and puts their guns away. Fraser stares at Janet.

(There is no area 7.)

There are men and women both aiming their guns at Janet, so you'd think Fraser could have said "Gentlemen, ladies," but no. I suppose you wouldn't expect any different from a guy who calls his female boss "sir," but I gotta tell you, it doesn't feel as inclusive as I think they probably meant it to.

Before he was governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger used to be an action hero.

So what we've got here is presumably a single mom, because otherwise why would she be bringing her kids with her on her bounty hunting travels, am I right? And apparently unlike some single parents this show has talked to us about, she couldn't (or at any rate didn't) ditch them with their grandparents?

Credits roll.

Paul Gross
Callum Keith Rennie
Beau Starr
Camilla Scott
Tony Craig | Tom Melissis
Ramona Milano
and Gordon Pinsent as Fraser Sr.

(plus Draco the dog)

Wendy Crewson, Hugh Thompson, Jared Wall, Cecilley Carroll, Hayley Lochner, and Dean McDermott

Hugh Thompson was the name of my 8th grade math teacher. This is almost certainly not the same guy. 😄 Meanwhile, here's McDermott with an "and" credit. To the extent he's a big deal now—I don't watch reality TV, so I can only guess from what I occasionally see in commercials—this was ages before he became one, so hey, that "and" is a decent step up, good for him.

Scene 4

Janet's kids are standing against the wall like the usual suspects. She hands each of them a stick of gum.

JANET: Okay, I'm just going to be a minute, okay? So everybody don't move a muscle and be good, right? [The girls nod.] Okay?
FRANCESCA: So this is all the paperwork?
JANET: Yeah. Ah, it's, ah, Bradley Torrance. [Robbie runs by. His mother doesn't appear to notice. The little sister runs after him, giggling. Kowalski is sitting at the desk examining her gun, comparing it to his own.] Ah, charges for felony weapons possession, skipped out on twenty-five thousand dollars bail. I'm in the employ of Hector J. Jones, bail bondsman, Billing, Montana, and so you've got a copy of everything, including the registration for my gun.
FRANCESCA: Guns.
JANET: Yeah.
KOWALSKI: Guns.
JANET: Just a few.
KOWALSKI: Bounty hunter? You're a bounty hunter? As in, uh, wanted dead or alive? [Janet's youngest is in a rolling desk chair, which Robbie is repeatedly pushing into a filing cabinet.]
JANET: [taking back her gun] Dead or alive, seriously injured, whatever. [to her kids] Okay, give me back the gum. Now, we had a deal here. Where's your sister? Annie?
ANNIE: Over here.
JANET: Sweetheart, can, can you just help me out here with the kids for a minute?
ANNIE: [sitting quietly, reading] Hey. You're the mother.
JANET: I know that I'm the mother.
FRASER: [taking her gun, which she has carelessly waved toward Francesca] Sorry. It's just that, ah, firearms accounted for thirty-nine thousand five hundred and ninety-five American deaths last year, fourteen hundred and forty-one of them accidental.
JANET: And less than half of one percent involved licensed professionals, and there were circumstances in each of those cases.
FRASER: True enough.
JANET: But, uh, thanks.
KOWALSKI: [looks between Fraser and Janet for a moment] Fraser, can I have a word with you?
FRASER: Excuse me. [follows Kowalski across the room]
FRANCESCA: So this is really cool. Have you always been a bounty hunter?
JANET: [filling out some more paperwork] Nah. You know, I started out in construction, and then I, ah, worked the rigs for a while, and then I did a little bit of trick riding in the rodeo —

Across the room, Kowalski is having a talk with Fraser.

KOWALSKI: Those kids are immature.
FRASER: Well, they're children, Ray.

Francesca is still chatting with Janet. Robbie and the youngest are back to their chair-into-the-filing-cabinet game.

FRANCESCA: Trick riding. Wow, that must have been —
JANET: It's hard on your back.
FRANCESCA: Yeah.
JANET: And you know, it's, it's murder on the kids. These — the, the hours.
FRANCESCA: Right.
JANET: They're just, uh, gruelling. [With every bang of the chair against the filing cabinet, an electric fan on the wall (above a sign that says "Corruption can be reported to Internal Affairs Division") wobbles a bit. Annie is sitting under the fan, reading her book, blissfully unaware.] So I found bounty hunting. You know, the money's good, you can set your own hours, get a little time off to spend with the kids. Whoops! [Fraser spots the danger about one second before the fan comes loose from the wall and falls down. He dives for it and misses because Janet has just grabbed it out of the air; he stands back up as if he had fully intended to fling himself onto the floor just then.] Got it, thanks.
FRASER: Good.
KOWALSKI: Good catch.
JANET: Thanks. You know, could you, ah, run a quick plate for me before I go?
KOWALSKI: [pretending to look at a softball trophy or something on top of a bookcase] You, you want me to run a plate?
JANET: Yeah. Could you run a plate?
KOWALSKI: You mean, like a dinner plate?
JANET: [looks at Fraser] Is he really a cop?
FRASER: Yes, actually, he is. Unfortunately, you've — you've stepped into the middle of labor unrest.
JANET: Blue Flu.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, we're all sick. Very sick. And as you can see, our hands are full. Very full.
JANET: And so you can't run a plate for me.
KOWALSKI: No.
JANET: [may be about to cry] That's great. That's, that's really great. I really appreciate the, ah, professional support here, and the, um — forget it. Just forget it. It's okay. I'm fine. Do it myself. Come on, kids. Let's go. We're out of here. Annie. Come on, honey. A little smile on your face, please? Just a little cooperation. Come on. [herding her kids out of the squad room]
FRASER: Ma'am. Ma'am?
JANET: What?
FRASER: Your weapon.
JANET: [comes back to get it and is in fact crying just a little] Damn it.
FRASER: Are you all right?
JANET: Yeah. I just — I'm not getting enough sleep. [She buzzes off.]
KOWALSKI: [playing with the mini softball hanging from the trophy] Triple! [realizes Fraser is giving him a Look] What? [Fraser starts to walk away.] Look, I can't break ranks on this.
FRASER: Understood.
KOWALSKI: No, I can't. Look, Fraser, I can't!
FRASER: [stops in the doorway] Well, I heard you, Ray. I understand.

Fraser leaves. Kowalski stands there in the squad room, surrounded by ringing phones.

Fraser's passive aggression is back, and no Ray is immune.

Okay, I'm coming at this scene from a number of directions, right: I'm a fan of this show; I'm an American who thinks the Second Amendment has been badly misinterpreted for a long time and there are way too many guns out there, licenses be damned; I'm pro–organized labor; I'm skeptical at best of most police departments; I'm a mom with a young kid; and I was once a girl who just wanted to be left alone to read her book. So it's hard for me to know whom to root for in this scene.

EXCEPT FOR ANNIE, WHO IS CLEARLY THE HERO OF THE PIECE at this point. Way to go, Annie! You deserve not to be parentified, and you absolutely don't have to smile if you're not feeling it, my darling, your face (just like your body) is your own. Attagirl.

Yeah so. Except for Annie. I think we are supposed to be on Janet's side here and generally against the 27th precinct staff, because Fraser is Our Hero and he's all "but people need help" irrespective of how the people being asked to provide that help are being treated, and Welsh and Huey and Kowalski have all made it clear that the union cops are (gasp!) lying about their "health," how dare they, that can't ever be right because we should all always tell the scrupulous whole truth at all times. 🙄 But as I said: pro-labor. If workers are striking for better working conditions, it is our responsibility to support them, and you'd think a professional bounty hunter who considers herself law enforcement–adjacent would be more sympathetic to her brother officers than Janet appears to be here. On the other hand: anti-cop. A police union isn't really a labor union, and even if it were, labor actions by first responders and medical professionals shouldn't be the same as those by other sectors.

Meanwhile, I can't tell how the show wants us to feel about the fact that Janet doesn't really have control of her kids, but Kowalski is 100% wrong to say they're immature and Fraser is 100% right to point out that they are children; sure, there's a range of childlike behaviors, but nothing these kids are doing is age-inappropriate, and they've apparently driven to Chicago from Billings, Montana, in a pickup truck, so a little cabin fever isn't a huge surprise. (I'm actually judging Kowalski a little harshly here for being so immediately down on these kids. Haven't we established that he wanted kids of his own? Has he met enough children in his life to know that you don't actually get to pick what your kids turn out to be like?)

And finally, the gun thing. Sigh. Fraser says 39,595 gun deaths in the United States "last year," that is, 1996, of which 1,441 were accidental, for a rate of about 3.6%. (Meaning 96.4% of gun deaths were deliberate, which is worse, right? Isn't that worse?) For funsies, I googled "gun deaths usa 1996" and found that the U.S. Department of Justice's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention published a paper in 1999 for which the most recent data they could get was from 1996, in which they said 34,040 people died from gunfire in that year, with 3% of those deaths being unintentional. So the percentage tracks, even if Fraser has an extra 5k fatalities OJJDP didn't know about. (The CDC doesn't know about them either, apparently, but it says 1,134 of the 34,040 firearm deaths in '96 were unintentional, which is 3.8%, so there you go.) I also googled "accidental gun deaths" and found this analysis of the sorting of non–self inflicted fatal gunshot wounds, which is the only thing I could find even approaching relevance to Janet's claim that less than half of one percent of accidental firearm deaths involved licensed professionals. I imagine her point is supposed to be that the majority of "true" "accidents" are caused by people who have little or no experience or training in firearm handling, and "and there were circumstances in each of those cases" probably means there were extenuating circumstances in each of those cases, which I guess is supposed to make it okay that she's waving a loaded gun around in Francesca and Fraser and Kowalski's faces while looking in the other direction because she's distracted and frustrated by her children, who by the way are also still in the room? Like that kind of negligence is no problem, because don't worry, she's a licensed professional? None of this counts as a circumstance, unlike (for example) the accidental death of Irene Zuko in front of Fraser's very eyes, who was caught in the cross-fire among three licensed (or at least very experienced) professional firearm users, one of whom was an actual sworn police officer?

I didn't even spend a ton of time trying to sift through the statistics and the reports (I noped out not long after I read "for example, a child killing a playmate after mistaking a gun for a toy," because I CANNOT), and I'm so mad about both Janet's gun apologia and Fraser's immediate capitulation that I can't actually even see straight.

Scene 5

Fraser and Diefenbaker are in the back seat of Janet's crew-cab pickup truck with the two younger kids, who are fighting across Fraser's lap.

JANET: I don't need the help, you know. I like working alone.
FRASER: Well, actually, I'm not a licensed police officer in this jurisdiction.
JANET: You're not?
FRASER: No, I'm afraid not.
JANET: Then what the hell good are you?
FRASER: Well, I thought perhaps I could help look after your children.
ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
LITTLE SISTER: Ace!
JANET: Well — yeah, okay, you can do that.
FRASER: Done.
JANET: I'm just going to warn you, though, if you're going to be hanging around — I've got a bit of a temper.
FRASER: Well, people say the same thing about me.
JANET: Really?
FRASER: Ah — no.
JANET: Kind of a long way from home, aren't you?
FRASER: As are you.
JANET: Yeah. As am I.
LITTLE SISTER: You're sitting on Toad.
FRASER: Am I? Oh, dear. [feels around on his seat cushion] Oh, well — [finds Toad] — so I am. Heheheh. Ribribbit. [He gives the toy to the little girl.]
LITTLE SISTER: Thanks.
FRASER: Did I hurt him?
LITTLE SISTER: You can't hurt him. He's stuffed.
ROBBIE: Bozo.
JANET: Robbie!
FRASER: Well, he does have a point. [Diefenbaker is leaning over and snuffling at Toad.] Dief, do you mind?

The truck drives along through a neighborhood. A beat-up old car may be following it.

My favorite person in this scene is still Annie, who is sitting in the passenger seat of the truck looking at the map, minding her own business, and wearing her seatbelt, unlike her mother. My second-favorite person is the little sister, who correctly points out that stuffed toys cannot be injured.

Scene 6

The truck, which is definitely a pickup but has a covered bed like an extra-long SUV, is parked outside a cruddy apartment building. Janet comes out of the building talking to a blonde woman. Fraser and Diefenbaker and the kids are in the truck waiting for her. (Annie has her back to the scene and is unimpressed.)

ROBBIE: My mom makes friends really easy.
FRASER: Well, that's an important ability to have in life.
ANNIE: She does it just so she can find stuff out.
FRASER: Well, that's important, too.
LITTLE SISTER: Bozo!
ROBBIE: You're a bozo.
LITTLE SISTER: He's a bozo. [She means Fraser.]
FRASER: You know something? I think we're all bozos.

The beat-up old car pulls up behind the truck, visible in the rearview mirror. Janet finishes chatting with the blonde woman and gets back in the driver's seat.

JANET: Okay, I got you some mints. [handing out mints] So before you start hollering that they're not up to the Holiday Inn standard, I just want you to know that they were all they had.
FRASER: Thank you kindly.
JANET: Well, that was the fugitive's girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend, actually. He knew her in Montana.
FRASER: Has he contacted her here?
JANET: Mm-hmm. Got an address.
FRASER: Well, um, before we visit him, I, I wonder if I could make one suggestion. A potential babysitter.

I thought Fraser had offered to help look after the kids, i.e., that he was the babysitter?

Scene 7

The kids are in the interview room with Kowalski and Diefenbaker. They have snacks and sodas.

ROBBIE: So they sit right there? The criminals? They sit right there?
KOWALSKI: Yeah, and then we ask them questions. Like, uh, if somebody got whacked, we go, "You whack that guy?"
ANNIE: And if they don't cooperate? Do you yell at them?
KOWALSKI: Yell at them? Uh — yeah, sometimes.
ANNIE: You must have kids.
KOWALSKI: Uh, in here, not that often. [Robbie crawls under the table.]
ANNIE: No, I mean you. You got kids?
KOWALSKI: Oh, me? Ha, no, I mean — ah, I wanted kids, but my, my wife didn't, so —
ROBBIE: [pops up next to Kowalski] Say you caught him. So you caught a bad guy. Say you caught him, and he's a bad guy. So you take your handcuffs and you put them on the bad guy's wrists? [He fastens one end of Kowalski's cuffs to Kowalski's right wrist.]
KOWALSKI: Yeah. Like that. Why? [Robbie quickly tries to cuff Kowalski to the table, but Kowalski jumps up, laughing.] Nah. No, no, no, no, no. [He plays keep-away across the room.]
ROBBIE: [follows Kowalski across the room.] Okay. And then you get the bad guy. And then you get him in the corner?
KOWALSKI: Yeah, sometimes we do that. [The handcuffs fasten.]
ROBBIE: [getting his soda off the table] And then you lock the bad guy up. [He salutes Kowalski as he and his sisters leave the interview room.]
KOWALSKI: [handcuffed to a pipe] Yes, we do that once in a while, but then we let him go, so — hey, kids! Keys! [The kids leave.] Hey, that's not buddies.
ROBBIE: Let's see what else there is do to around here.
KOWALSKI: I hate you.

Aw, et tu, Annie?

Scene 8

Fraser and Janet are listening at a motel room door labeled 113.

JANET: Nobody home.
FRASER: No one's answering.
JANET: Oh, we'd hear him breathing if he were in there.
FRASER: True enough. [stands up straight] Maybe we can find a manager who will let us in.
JANET: Well, we could do that, sure, but — [She kicks the door in.] — why bother him?

Fraser takes his hat off and follows Janet into the room, closing the door behind him.

I don't know why Fraser is suddenly so precious about kicking doors in, as if he'd never seen anyone do that (nor done so himself) before.

Scene 9

Fraser is standing there while Janet tosses the motel room—dumps out the guy's suitcase, shakes out the trash can.

FRASER: How long have you been doing this kind of work?
JANET: Not long. Why do you ask?
FRASER: You seem to have a natural aptitude for it.
JANET: Well, I grew up in Montana. [She turns over the mattress and looks under it.] And, uh, my dad was taking me hunting with him by the time I was three. [Fraser has gone to a closet and picked up a mud-crusted boot; he sniffs the sole and then licks it. Janet is rifling the bureau drawers.] You know, I got to tell you that there is not a lot of difference between bear hunting and hunting bail jumpers.
FRASER: [getting his knife out to take a sample of the mud off the boot] No, I suppose not. Although I find the scent trail is much more useful with bear.
JANET: [reaching into a duffel bag] Well, that's true. And the scat's more informative.
FRASER: Oh, scat in the city, well, it's virtually useless.
JANET: Especially in the winter.
FRASER: Yeah, I know. Well, everything is — [He looks at her and then goes back to collecting the mud sample.] — uh, how much do you know about this man that you're hunting?
JANET: Enough. [She feels under the other edge of the mattress.]
FRASER: Is he dangerous?
JANET: Not particularly. [She's found an envelope and looks in it; suddenly she's mad.] Three hundred bucks. [She takes a deep breath, rolls her eyes, shakes her head, and sticks the envelope in her pocket.]
FRASER: Are you planning on taking that?
JANET: You — you have a problem with that.
FRASER: Well, ordinarily, yes, I have a problem with theft.
JANET: Well, sure. But, uh, this is evidence.
FRASER: Oh.
JANET: Of . . . the fact that . . . he . . . has three hundred dollars. [She nods.] I don't usually do this. But it just means the kids and I won't have to spend another night in the truck.
FRASER: I understand.

Fraser can bring his passive aggressive bullshit to any situation, can't he? But she clearly knows she's wrong to take the money (or is she? it's not clear to me whether bounty hunters employed by bail bondsmen count as law enforcement for the purposes of asset forfeiture, which okay is routinely abused so I guess the question is not whether she's wrong to take the money—she is—but whether she's allowed to take the money), so he doesn't need to lay it on any thicker.

Anyway, though, why is she so strapped for cash that she and her kids are sleeping in the truck? Didn't she tell Francesca there's good money in bounty hunting?

Scene 10

Fraser and Janet come out of the motel room. A man is coming toward the door; Janet pulls her gun on him.

JANET: Hold it, sweetheart.
MAN: Hey, don't shoot.
JANET: [as she and Fraser begin to advance on the guy] Ride's over.
MAN: We can — we can cut some sort of a deal. Right?

Tires squeal. Fraser sees the beat-up old car that was following them approaching with a long gun protruding from the window.

FRASER: Down.

The guy with the shotgun fires. Fraser tackles Janet to the ground. The car screeches to a halt as another car is pulling out of its parking space. The man runs. The guy with the shotgun hops out of the car and chases him.

JANET: Shouldn't we do something?
FRASER: What?
JANET: About the bad guys?
FRASER: Oh, right, the bad guys.

He grabs his hat and they jump up to do something about the bad guys. The man who ran from Janet gets into a car and starts it up, but the guy with the shotgun gets there and aims at him.

SHOTGUN: Get out of there.

Fraser tackles the guy with the shotgun away; Janet jumps into the passenger side of the man's car.

JANET: Torrance!
SHOTGUN: Red, get out of my way.
JANET: You rotten scumbag.
MAN (TORRANCE): You're going to get us killed!

He is driving the car and trying to take Janet's gun. Janet is hanging onto the steering wheel, her legs still kicking in the open passenger door. The guy with the shotgun gets back in the old beat-up car with his buddy, which Fraser runs and pulls alongside, trying to grab the shotgun away. The two cars are driving parallel to each other and somehow keeping in more or less straight lines. Fraser's hat flies away.

JANET: I ought to blow your head off.
TORRANCE: Let go!

Torrance manages to shove Janet out of his car, though she keeps hold of her gun. Meanwhile, Fraser gets the shotgun away from the guy with the shotgun, but that means he falls free of the beater. Both cars peel away onto the road, the beater chasing Torrance, as Fraser and Janet roll to their respective stops in the dust and watch them go. They get to their feet.

JANET: Sorry. My fault.
FRASER: No, I think that was my fault.
JANET: [as they head back for her truck] No, I, I couldn't get a grip on that wheel.
FRASER: Well, I was holding a shotgun.
JANET: Yeah, but I could have spun him out.
FRASER: I could have blown out his tires.

So Fraser finds this woman compelling. He's been strangely taken with her ever since Francesca said "She's a bounty hunter;" he stammered to a halt in the face of her bullshit handgun safety claims; he's found himself kind of staring at her and had to get it together quickly twice in the past two scenes (talking about the scat in the city, which is totally the sort of romantic conversation you do have when you're finding out you have a ton in common with someone you just met 🙄; and then here where, having pulled her to safety out of shotgun range, he lay there gazing at her with his hand on her arm for a lingering moment and had to be reminded that there were bad guys still present). I am also, and is it just me?, feeling a strong Fraser-and-Vecchio vibe as they're walking back to the truck mutually apologizing for having fucked up that bust.

Scene 11

Fraser and Janet are back at the station. Kowalski has the shotgun in an evidence bag.

KOWALSKI: This is not some penny-ante hood here. This smells like the real deal. So I'm thinking maybe there's something you forgot to tell us.
JANET: Oh, I didn't realize you were working on the case, but, you know, since you ask? No. Nothing I forgot to tell you. It's Bradley Torrance, small-time slimeball chiseler, pure and simple.
KOWALSKI: Small-time guy with big-time guns chasing him.
JANET: I don't know, maybe it was mistaken identity.
FRASER: Well, that seems unlikely, given the probability that the men in question followed us to Torrance.
KOWALSKI AND JANET: What?
FRASER: Well, I noticed them behind us a couple of times while you were driving.
JANET: You might — you might have mentioned that.
FRASER: Well, I assumed you were aware of them.
JANET: Yeah, maybe I was and maybe I wasn't, but you know, those assumptions can be dangerous.
FRASER: You know, you're quite right. I, I stand corrected.
JANET: No, no, no, no. I, I, I should have noticed. They —
FRASER: Well, no, as soon as I saw them —
KOWALSKI: Listen to you two. You need professional help.
FRASER: Psychiatric?
KOWALSKI: No, cop help.
JANET: Well, hey, I tried.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, but I told — we're in the middle of something here.
JANET: Yeah, so you keep saying.
KOWALSKI: Look, I don't, I don't like hairbags shooting up the city any more than you do.
WELSH: Excuse me. With all due respect to your collective illness, you think I might be able to find a detective who will work on an actual crime?
KOWALSKI: Keep it real, man. [heads into the squad room] Francesca? Can you get this shotgun up to Forensics, see if you can get some prints or something off it?
FRANCESCA: I'm on the phone.
KOWALSKI: I know you're on the phone. After you get off the phone. [waves a piece of paper in her face] Hey, hey, hey. Got the description of the shooters. I want that out to all the beat cars. Make copies of that, okay?
DEWEY: [takes the paper] Oh, we got plenty of cases on our desks already which deserve our unfocused, undivided attention. [gives the paper back to Kowalski]
HUEY: Hey. No jumping the lines.
KOWALSKI: Look, I'm going to have to deal with this later, okay?
JANET: Yeah. Sure. No, that's fine.
FRASER: I'm sorry.
JANET: No, you, you've been a, a terrific help. Really. I should go. Okay, come on, kids, saddle up. [She claps her hands.] Let's go find ourselves a motel. [Annie has been swinging her little sister on the barred door to the holding cell. Janet feels in her pockets.] I don't believe it. [The kids come running.]
FRASER: What?
JANET: It's gone. That scumbag took it. The three hundred bucks. He took it.
LITTLE SISTER: Mommy, I'm tired.
JANET: Okay honey, come on. [She picks up her youngest and turns to Fraser.] Can you recommend a good parking garage? Preferably one that doesn't get too much morning sun?

So the "scumbag" (who may well be a scumbag, we don't know enough about him to say, all we know is that he's a bail jumper with at least one armed individual chasing him in addition to herself) "took" his $300 (back). I'm not saying that's not a serious bummer for Janet and her kids, but she still can't deny it wasn't her money. (If this family weren't so white and the police weren't all out with "flu," some other city employee would be along right about now to take the kids into foster care.)

Scene 12

Fraser is showing the family into the consulate.

JANET: Let's go.
FRASER: Constable Turnbull?
ROBBIE: Wow.
TURNBULL: Ah. Sir.
FRASER: Ah, Constable, this is, ah, Janet Morse. These are her children — Annie, Robbie, Sue.
TURNBULL: Hello.
FRASER: And they will be sleeping here tonight.
TURNBULL: Oh.
ROBBIE: I want to sleep up there! [He runs for the stairs.]
JANET: Hey, hey, hey, hey —
TURNBULL: [catching Robbie and toting him back to his mother] No, no, no, no, no. Ah, it's just that, ah, nobody can sleep up there. It's the, ah, Queen's bedroom.
ANNIE: The Queen sleeps here?
TURNBULL: Oh, she could. Whenever she's, ah, in Chicago — [He blocks Annie from starting up the stairs.] — um, the regal suite will always be ready for her.
ROBBIE: But she's never actually slept there.
TURNBULL: No.
ANNIE: Princess Di?
TURNBULL: No.
LITTLE SISTER (SUE): Fergie?
TURNBULL: No.
ROBBIE: Has anyone slept there?
TURNBULL: Oh, yes indeedy-do. The chairman of the beef marketing board. Huh? [He makes a "how about that" face.]
FRASER: I have some bedding in the, ah — [He goes to get it.]
TURNBULL: Oh, Bobby Orr slept here once. And k.d. lang. Ah, but not at the same time, for obvious reasons.

The kids look at one another like they can't believe Turnbull is for real.

Apparently whether Turnbull is for real is an open question.

Bobby Orr is a retired hockey player and seems to be a real mensch. k.d. lang is a singer who has been out since 1992, hence Turnbull's "obvious reasons" reference, though frankly of course it wouldn't have been right to house a straight man and a straight woman (or in fact any two people irrespective of their genders or sexualities) in the same guest suite at the same time if they weren't previously involved or even acquainted with each other, would it? Of course not. Which should be the obvious reason.

Anyway, this episode aired October 19, 1997, and Diana, Princess of Wales, had died on August 31 of that year, but the episode must have been filmed long before that or I don't think they'd probably have had the kids ask about her in this casual way. "Fergie" refers to Sarah, Duchess of York, whose birth name was Sarah Ferguson and who had divorced Prince Andrew in 1996.

Scene 13

Fraser leads Janet into his office, where he starts getting bedding out of a closet.

JANET: You live here?
FRASER: Yes. Well, ah, till I find something more permanent, which I imagine will be pretty much — [He looks around his office.]
JANET: Like this?
FRASER: Yes, I suppose so.
JANET: Well, you don't need much.
FRASER: No.
JANET: It's very peaceful.

Something breaks in the hallway.

TURNBULL: Hey, you kids, come here! [One of the kids hits him.] Ow! That smarts.
JANET: Excuse me.
TURNBULL: You've got quite a smack for someone your size.
JANET: [heading out to the hallway] Suzanne!
ANNIE: Uh-oh, here comes Mom. Now you're going to get it.
BOB FRASER: Minute of your time, son?

Fraser looks around, then goes into the closet.

No matter where and how Fraser is living, nobody can actually believe it.

Scene 14

In the closet, Bob has a whole cabin set up. He's throwing wood into the stove.

BOB FRASER: I don't know. They say that applewood lasts longer, gives off a pleasant aroma. And that may well be true, but I'll tell you this much, son. It's damn difficult to get that stuff to burn.
FRASER: What do you want, Dad?
BOB FRASER: Interesting woman.
FRASER: Yes, she is.
BOB FRASER: Nice kids.
FRASER: Um, what are you trying to suggest?
BOB FRASER: I'm not suggesting anything, son. It's just that lately I've been, ah, thinking a lot about grandchildren.
FRASER: Grandchildren.
BOB FRASER: Yeah. Well, you know. I'm getting on.
FRASER: Getting on? You're dead.
BOB FRASER: Yes, I am. And in death, I'm learning to appreciate the importance of family. All of those great times we had together, you know.
FRASER: Dad, Mum and I saw you about once every sixteen weeks, and sometimes then you slept out with the dogs.
BOB FRASER: Well, there was always a good reason, son. No, no. My mind is harkening back to those special times. You know, all of those, all those great family dinners. [He puts a record on.]
FRASER: We never had family dinners.
BOB FRASER: Well, God willing — [He turns off the record player.] — someone will die before Christmas, and I'll have them around for dinner. Maybe your cousins Douglas and Dwayne. They were always fun. In the meantime, make a close appraisal of this girl, Janet. She'd be good for you. She's sturdy.
FRASER: Sturdy.
BOB FRASER: Yeah.
FRASER: Great advice, Dad. Really. Top-drawer. Thank you.
BOB FRASER: That's all right, son. Door's always ajar.

Cousins? Douglas and Dwayne? Fraser said he didn't have any other family after Bob died. Whose children were Douglas and Dwayne, and what happened to (a) them and (b) their parent who was, presumably, Bob's sibling?

Scene 15

Turnbull and Annie are coming down the stairs from the regal suite. He is carrying Sue under one arm and leading Robbie by the scruff of the neck with the other hand.

TURNBULL: Now, I thought we discussed this. Absolutely no going upstairs.
FRASER: [coming out from the back premises] Constable, have you seen Ms. Morse?
TURNBULL: [looking around] Um . . . she's, uh —
FRASER: All right, listen. Just continue doing what you're doing for, uh — well, just continue doing it.
TURNBULL: Eh, but sir — [He nods to the kids.]
FRASER: Good man. [He biffs off.]
TURNBULL: [crouches down with the kids] Okay. I've got an idea. I'm going to read you a classic story. Gulliver's Travels. It's a story about a man who travels around the world having adventures. [He leads them into a room.]
ROBBIE: Like our dad?
TURNBULL: Is your dad a giant? [There is a percussive noise.] Ow. [The kids run from the room and up the stairs.]
ROBBIE: Come on!

Turnbull is right behind them running up the stairs.

Turnbull has Toad in the breast pocket of his tunic, which I'm not sure I realized had a breast pocket before now. (Okay I mean yes Fraser had a whole loose-thread-on-the-button situation in "An Invitation to Romance," but it was not clear in that episode that the pocket was functional rather than decorative. Although on the one hand a faux or decorative pocket doesn't seem like it's their style, on the other hand [gestures to the red uniform in general].) He also has one star on his left sleeve, meaning he's been in the service for more than five years—not much more, though, because when we met him in "Bird in the Hand" he had no stars. And he's actually doing the best he can with these kids, the care of whom should in no way be any of his responsibility, but he's stuck with them because Fraser is turning out to be a shockingly bad boss.

Gulliver's Travels is indeed a story about a man who travels around the world—several worlds, actually—having adventures. It's deeper than that, actually, a pretty biting satire, but it's fine for Turnbull to present it as a rollicking adventure tale, which is one of the things it was satirizing. The first of the lands Gulliver visits is Lilliput, where everything is very small and he appears to be a giant, hence his asking the kids if their dad is a giant; apparently the kids' dad is off on adventures and that's why the kids are living in the truck with their mom.

Scene 16

Fraser is in the car with Kowalski.

FRASER: I found this on a boot in his closet. I believe the mixture to be composed of mud, rubbing alcohol, straw, and horse sweat.
KOWALSKI: Oh, I find that all very interesting, Fraser.
FRASER: Well, my conclusion is that it comes from a nearby stables. Now, Janet, or Ms. Morse, was with me when we found it, so I believe that she will be at the stables even as we speak.
KOWALSKI: You overstand my position on this, Fraser. I cannot break ranks on this.
FRASER: No, no, no. I understand this completely. So what I was hoping is that we could explore the possibility of paid duty as a supplement to your income. It's my understanding that it's a common practice for many police officers to lend their services in areas, say, such as crowd control or additional security . . .
KOWALSKI: Yeah, well, but —
FRASER: Right. So. How much would it cost me to hire you to accompany me?
KOWALSKI: To the stables.
FRASER: Correct.
KOWALSKI: Fifty.
FRASER: Forty.
KOWALSKI: Thirty.
FRASER: Twenty.
KOWALSKI: Done.

The car's license plate is RCW 139. IT'S BACK.

I'm not sure freelancing (which Fraser has also done, so his "understanding" of this "common practice" might come from, you know, his own experience doing personal security for Mark Smithbauer) isn't scabbing, but Kowalski seems to feel like taking 20 bucks off Fraser absolves him? I don't know, on the one hand I want to see the "negotiation" as Kowalski saying, basically, I want to help you out but I'm not allowed, so sure, toss me a dub and that way it won't be official police work, but on the other hand, this is a guy who just used the word "overstand" in a sentence, apparently because it's the opposite of understand—years before GWB would give us "misunderestimate," (although Fraser suggested just two weeks ago that Kowalski might say "overstand," so . . . I don't know, it's possible these episodes were aired in a different order than they were filmed?)—and while I don't care to speculate about Ray Kowalski's voting patterns (on the one hand, cop; on the other hand, Illinois), I do suspect he'd have kind of instinctively understood W's malapropisms, don't you? I mean, if there was ever anyone who would have agreed what you needed to do was make the pie higher.

Scene 17

Turnbull is in a room with the kids, standing between them and the door, reading Gulliver's Travels and doing a sort of shadow puppet theatre.

TURNBULL: Lilliputians. Lilliputians are little tiny people that make Gulliver looked like a giant.
SUE: Like you?
TURNBULL: Well, I suppose I am kind of tall.

The kids put their heads together.

ROBBIE: [whispering] He's a real bozo.
ANNIE: [whispering] Yeah. I've got an idea. Just do what I say, okay?
SUE: [whispering] Okay.
ROBBIE: [whispering] Whatever.

The kids sit up straight and look at Turnbull.

TURNBULL: What?

We can't see the kids' faces when they stare at Turnbull, but they probably look not unlike the Children of the Damned.

Scene 18

Janet is at the stables, looking around with a flashlight. She takes one more step and bumps into Fraser and Kowalski.

JANET: [startled] Jesus.
FRASER: Sorry.
JANET: Oh. Kids okay?
FRASER: Yeah. Fine.
JANET: Oh, good. Sorry to duck out like that.
FRASER: Oh, it's all right.

It is not all right! You can't just leave other people in charge of your kids without the knowledge of (a) those people and ideally (b) your kids. (It's also not all right for Fraser to have ducked out the way he did, but at least Turnbull knew he was going.)

KOWALSKI: Look, I don't mean to interrupt, but is he here?
JANET: [shines her flashlight in his eyes] Yeah, head groom said she hired a new guy about four months ago. Different name, but it sounds like him.

Fraser and Janet step along the stable together. Kowalski is annoyed. They hear a noise and Fraser realizes Torrance is there.

FRASER: Torrance! [Torrance is climbing a rope ladder.] We're here to help. [Torrance tries to climb faster.]
KOWALSKI: Stop! Chicago PD!

Everyone runs. Kowalski and Janet run for the bottom of the rope ladder. Fraser runs around to the outside of the stable, jumping over a low fence into a paddock and heading for a garage barn. A car starts as he approaches, and by the time he's in the garage barn it's backing toward him; he hops up onto the bumper, runs over the roof, and rolls down off the hood as the car backs away down the driveway. He reunites with Kowalski and Janet, both of whom have guns drawn, as the car gets away.

KOWALSKI: Some people you just can't help.

He shines Janet's flashlight in her face. She glares at him.

How the hell did Torrance get in that car so fast when he was climbing a rope ladder into (presumably) a loft above the horse barn? The timing of this mini-chase is opaque to me. What is transparent is that Kowalski does not dig the vibe between Fraser and Janet.

Scene 19

Janet's kids are asleep on the floor in what may be Thatcher's office. Diefenbaker is snuggling up with them. Fraser (in mufti) and Janet are looking at them.

FRASER: They're beautiful children.
JANET: They're rats. But you know, when you see them like this, you remember why you really wanted them.
FRASER: You're lucky.
JANET: Yeah, I am. You know, it's — it's really nice of you to do this.
FRASER: Oh, it's my pleasure.
JANET: You mean that?
FRASER: Yes. [They go out into the hallway and walk to Fraser's office.]
JANET: You miss home.
FRASER: Yes. Don't you?
JANET: Oh, yes. You've got a place?
FRASER: Mm-hmm. Fortitude Bay. It's a four-day hike in from Chilkoot Pass. It's very peaceful. Well, once you get past the lava springs and the polecats and the poisonous tundra beetles. [She laughs.] You?
JANET: Yeah. Yeah, I do. I, ah — [She's taking off her jacket.]
FRASER: Here, let me — I'll move this. [He takes something off his desk so she can use it as a nightstand.]
JANET: I've got a cabin just by a waterfall. Outside Whitefish? Yeah, built it myself. [She shrugs off her shoulder holster and takes another gun out of her waistband.] It's a pretty little place, but, I don't know, I don't get up much there anymore, and —
FRASER: It's very easy to become disconnected.
JANET: That's right. It is. You know, these problems come crowding in, and, and everything's racing, and I get to the point I just feel like I'm never going to feel that peace and comfort again. [She has taken yet another gun holster off her belt. Finally she stretches her back.] Ahh.
FRASER: You might feel a little more comfortable without the ankle holster.
JANET: Oh, right. I forgot about that one. [She unstraps the ankle holster.] I don't know. It's just — it's just hard sometimes, holding this whole thing together.
FRASER: I'm sure it is.
JANET: Sort of lonely, and, uh . . . oh, I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I just . . . I just feel like I can trust you. Can I trust you?
FRASER: Yes.
JANET: Can I trust you to kiss me?
FRASER: I, um.

He leans toward her. She leans toward him. They want to kiss but they are both hesitating. Bob Fraser appears behind Ben Fraser.

BOB FRASER: Resist.
FRASER: [flinches away from Janet] I can't. [He starts to lean toward her again.]
JANET: You're right. [She backs away a bit.] No, you're right.
FRASER: [Oh no! He meant he can't resist!] No —
JANET: [backing away, pulling herself together] Augh —
FRASER: No, I didn't mean —
JANET: No, I've got those three kids in the other room, I've got this husband I gotta settle up with — I just feel like I know you.
FRASER: I know. [Janet looks at Fraser for another moment and then makes herself leave the room. Fraser does a very frustrated sigh and turns to Bob.] Well, thanks a lot.
BOB FRASER: Look at that face. Like a young cadet who just snuck a radio-ologist into the dorm.
FRASER: What are you talking about?
BOB FRASER: Well, don't get all stroppy. It was long before I met your mother.
FRASER: What is wrong with you?
BOB FRASER: Some people are vulnerable. Their force is at a low ebb. You know, it's not right to take advantage of people in such a position.
FRASER: Well, you're right. I — I behaved improperly.
BOB FRASER: Not you. Her, son. You don't want to rush into these things.
FRASER: What kind of thing?
BOB FRASER: You're building a house. Do you want to start with the roof? No. You start with the foundation, one brick on another brick, then the floor, then some walls. Couple of windows. Gabled something would be nice, and a, an oriel or two, bit of stained glass — [He's distracted himself, but now he snaps back to the point.] — then you think about the roof.
FRASER: By any chance do they have any psychiatrists in the afterworld? I mean, someone who could help you?
BOB FRASER: Let's face it, son. You need somebody. And I think this Janet has got a lot to recommend her. She's bright, capable, and above all, she's sturdy. But you've got to take it one step at a time. And all this house stuff that I've been building up to, she could be your foundation.
FRASER: Do you mind?
JANET: [coming back in] Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm, uh, I'm going to sleep in the, in the other room with the kids on the floor.
FRASER: No, no. No, please. You sleep here, and I'll, ah, I'll make other arrangements.
JANET: No, I can't, I —
FRASER: Please.
JANET: You sure?
FRASER: [nods] Okay?
JANET: Okay.
FRASER: Good night.
JANET: Good night.

They pass close by in the doorway and both work really hard not to fall into each other's arms. Music cue: "Unloved" by Jann Arden. He closes the door between them.

There will be no consolation prize
This time the bone is broken clean
No baptism, no reprise
And no sweet taste of victory

She leans against the door. He leans against it from the outside.

All the stars have fallen from the sky
And everything else in between
Satellites have closed their eyes
The moon has gone to sleep

At least one of them, possibly both, flashes back through the history of their acquaintance. They are staring at each other amid all the guns of the 27th precinct. She is explaining that by taking Torrance's money she will be able to pay for a motel room for herself and her kids.

Unloved, unloved

They are chatting about tracking in the city vs. the wilderness. Their eyes meet. He pulls her down to the ground with him to avoid the shotgun blast. Their eyes meet. She bumps into him in the stable and is startled. Their eyes meet.

Unloved, unloved

He is speaking to her from the back of the cab of her truck. They are in her office, not kissing.

THATCHER: Fraser. Fraser!

In fact Fraser has been asleep, in his red union suit, on the floor in the hallway outside his office like a guard dog.

FRASER: Good morning, sir.
THATCHER: What's going on?
JANET: [comes out of Fraser's office with her toothbrush] Morning.
FRASER: Morning.
JANET: Toothpaste? [Fraser points upstairs.] Great.

Janet heads up the stairs. Fraser is trying to stand at attention but he is Not Dressed Properly. Thatcher is carefully not looking at him.

FRASER: Uh, your, uh —
THATCHER: Office.
FRASER: Right. [Thatcher heads back to her office.] Oh, dear.

He follows her.

UP. MUCH. THERE.

I am (as I have said) not unsympathetic to Janet, and as disappointed as I am in some of the choices Fraser is making in this episode he is still Our Hero, and the chemistry is back on: I find the sexual tension here plausible. It doesn't hurt that he's out of that red uniform for about the second time this season, wearing a dark blue waffle knit henley (or if not a henley, something with a notched collar) and, in the low light, looking great in it. Janet isn't my type, but she's certainly his: "sturdy," as Bob says, knows her way around a gun fight, not likely to get lost in the back country, plus she's got the long dark hair we know he's partial to—she won't need her fingers warming up in his mouth and she's not his boss, so she's got all the advantages of both Victoria and Thatcher and none of the disadvantages, plus she comes with a family en suite. (However: husband to settle up with? I mean, sure, the kids have a dad, but he's apparently not entirely out of the picture despite Robbie's belief that he's off around the world having adventures? Uh-oh, danger, Will Robinson.) No wonder lonely Fraser is smitten.

But what was the original plan before Janet said she was going to go sleep in the other room with the kids and Fraser insisted that she take his office and he'd make other arrangements? He was going to sleep in there with her? Isn't he living in there camping overnight on a single folding cot? Wouldn't that be tough to share? And didn't he just meet her today? Bob Fraser (even though he says "radio-ologist" instead of "radiologist"—do we think these are different jobs?—and even though he thinks you build houses on brick foundations) is right (I was going to say for once, but that's not fair to him, which is to say not fair to Fraser, because I still say Bob is Ben's subconscious) that rushing into things is a bad idea. (I'm not positive we should uncritically grant him "you need somebody" either, come to that.) The flashback through the history of their acquaintance doesn't belabor the point, but their relationship is a total of about eight hours old. I'm not saying you can't meet someone and Just Know they're the one for you—that's apparently what Fraser did with Victoria—but it's almost certainly a terrible idea to meet someone and then fuck her behind your desk that same night down the hall from where her kids are sleeping on your boss's office floor (and your subordinate is still somewhere in the building where, as far as we know, there are no locks on any of the doors).

Anyway, we haven't done a map in a minute. Recall that there is no Fortitude Pass; there is also no Fortitude Bay, and I don't know how far you could hike from Chilkoot Pass in four days, but it'll be to somewhere in the Yukon—

—which, does he have a place up there? Bob had a cabin somewhere in the north, but (a) we never really knew where, and anyway (b) it burned down and (c) Fraser and Vecchio never did get up there to rebuild it. ???

I am judging Janet for having a toothbrush with her but no toothpaste. Come on, lady.

Scene 20

Thatcher leads Fraser into her office.

THATCHER: Tell me something, Constable. Are we running a five-star hotel?
FRASER: [hanging his head] No, sir.
THATHCER: A fly-by-night motel?
FRASER: No.
THATCHER: Is it a drop-in center?
FRASER: No, sir.
THATCHER: An orphanage?
FRASER: No.
THATCHER: Perhaps, then, it's a bordello.
FRASER: [looking up at her, shocked] No, sir.
THATCHER: So in conclusion, this is not a place where travelers sleep, nor is it a day care center, and it is most definitely not an institution where you would bring wayward women to satisfy animal needs and unmentionable underwear.
FRASER: Do you mean "desires," sir?
THATCHER: That's what I said.
FRASER: So you did, yes.
THATCHER: Good. I'm glad we agree. I await your full report with bated breath. [He stands there for a moment longer.] Dismissed. [Fraser turns and leaves the office. Thatcher goes over to her desk, where she finds Turnbull tied down with a lot of what looks like climbing rope, mmphing through the tape covering his mouth. Gulliver's Travels is lying on his chest.] Fraser! [Fraser returns and looks at him with her. She untapes Turnbull's mouth.]
TURNBULL: Oh, those kids, sir. What a hoot!

Turnbull lies there and laughs.

So Turnbull may in fact have cracked.

Thatcher is right, of course; even if Janet and her kids were Canadians, it wouldn't be the consulate's responsibility to literally house them. If Fraser wanted to help, as he obviously did, he could have put them up at his own home OH WAIT

He could have paid himself for them to stay in a hotel. Dude makes what must be a reasonable salary and has literally no expenses. If he can lend Tyree Cameron bail money he can lend Janet Morse a night's worth of hotel fare. I mean, that is, he can call it a loan if he wants and if it makes Janet feel better, but it wouldn't actually kill him to just give her the cost of a night in a hotel and a hot meal for her kids, and frankly if he wants to stay there with them (or on the floor outside their door or wherever) the odds that his father will turn up to talk him out of it go way, way down.

Scene 21

Fraser, Kowalski, and Janet are at the police station. Fraser is still not in uniform.

FRANCESCA: We got lucky. Prints on the shotgun match the fingers of this guy. [hands them a mug shot]
FRASER: That's the shooter.
FRANCESCA: His name is Harvey "The Nail" Lopez, and he works out of Denver for some Mob man.
KOWALSKI: Mob guy.
FRANCESCA: Guy. Man. Dude. You going to split a hair over this? The Nail is from Denver, and he works for Lester "The Bull" Rivers. Where do they dream up these names? Or do they look through some big book to find them?
KOWALSKI: They got a big book. [Francesca has had it with him and walks away.] Uh, long-term bad guy, suspected in three homicides, hard-core pro.
FRASER: And what's the connection between Bradley Torrance and organized crime?
KOWALSKI: Ask her. She's the one who's looking for him.
JANET: For bail-jumping, not for a major crime.
KOWALSKI: Oh, and you just happened to have a couple of hit men trailing behind you in a car.
JANET: So what are you implying?
KOWALSKI: I suppose you didn't know that this Torrance is on the run with a bagful of Mob money.
JANET: Bradley?
KOWALSKI: Bradley. Organized crime squad in Denver says that, ah, he ripped them off for a couple of mil. Say there's a contract out on him. I suppose these guys are here to fill it. Maybe with a little help.
JANET: So you think I'm working with them?
KOWALSKI: Well, they just couldn't waltz in here and get the police to help them, now, could they?
JANET: [up in his face] No, Mother Teresa couldn't walk in here and get any help.
KOWALSKI: [not backing down] 'Cause she can't walk, for one.
FRASER: All right, all right, excuse me. I think we should concentrate on trying to find Bradley Torrance. Now, we know that he's got two contract killers after him. There will undoubtedly be additional bounty hunters. He can't return to his motel room because the police on the street are looking for him.
JANET: Well, if there were any police on the street. [Kowalski smiles bitterly.]
FRASER: Well, what would he do in this situation?
JANET: He'd find a woman to help him.
KOWALSKI: Wait. More bounty hunters?

I feel like Kowalski is being unnecessarily antagonistic to both Francesca (who is right to call him on his habit of correcting her for getting things "wrong" that don't make a damn bit of difference) and Janet, although I still think Janet should stfu about the blue flu. That is, I think she should back off the police department's labor action, but I don't see why Kowalski is assuming she's in cahoots with the hit men who are apparently also pursuing Bradley Torrance. I also don't know why she invokes Mother Teresa (St. Teresa of Calcutta) in particular as an example of someone the police wouldn't even lift a finger for, but by October 1997 it was true that she couldn't walk, because like the Princess of Wales, she had died earlier that year. (In fact, I remember in the days following Diana's death, when talking heads everywhere were going on and on about her charitable work—which had been considerable—at some point someone, I think it was Michael Douglas, saying something like "Look, it's very sad that she died, but the way people are carrying on about her philanthropic work, I mean, my God, how are they going to top that when someone like Mother Teresa dies?" and then six days later she did. Whoops.) She'd been in poor health for a year or so before her death, so Kowalski's assessment that she couldn't walk at the time this episode was filmed is probably accurate. 😏

Scene 22

Some heavily tattooed ammo-toting leather dudes are consulting maps. They agree on their route, and their convoy forms up: a red jeep, an army truck, and a motortricycle.

I don't know about that trike. Are we supposed to take that guy seriously?

Scene 23

Janet and Kowalski and Fraser are at a cruddy bar talking to the woman Janet spoke to in scene 6.

TORRANCE'S GIRLFRIEND: Look, I haven't seen him for days.
JANET: Aw, come on, Helen, we're just trying to help.
TORRANCE'S GIRLFRIEND (HELEN): Like I should really believe that.
JANET: I know I shouldn't have said I was his sister, but —

The three tattooed ammo-toting dudes come in. Kowalski immediately doesn't like the look of them.

KOWALSKI: Whoa, whoa, whoa, gentlemen! Chicago PD. [shows his badge]
JEEP: We're the bounty hunters. We want Bradley Torrance.
JANET: Yeah? Well, get in line.
ARMY TRUCK: There! [He pulls a gun. Torrance was coming in a door on the other side of the bar, but he quickly backs out again.] Get him!

Torrance runs, crashing through another customer on his way into the bar, and gets in his car, but before he can start it, the three dudes have caught up to him and are aiming various guns at him.

TRIKE: It's all over.
ARMY TRUCK: You're going back to Big Sky country.
JEEP: Hey! I saw him first!
ARMY TRUCK: He's mine.
TRIKE: He belongs to me!

A gun goes off. Janet has shot into the air, and now she comes toward the car aiming her gun as well.

JANET: He's mine. I laid claim to this stake long before you boys even heard his name.
TRIKE: You think so?
JANET: I know so. January thirteenth, nineteen-eighty-six, South Ridgeway Baptist Church, eleven thirty-five a.m., I married this schmuck. He's mine.

Fraser can't believe it.

Aha, so this is the husband she needs to settle up with, and Kowalski was right, there was something she wasn't telling them back in scene 11, but it wasn't what he thought it was. (Only she's been lying to Fraser this whole time.) So they were married in January 1986 and it's now October 1997, so I return to the estimate that Annie is not older than 11. Also, you don't lay claim to a stake; you stake a claim. She'd have needed another noun to finish that sentence, "I staked my claim to this $WHATEVER"—probably "loser"—but then the sentence would have made a damn bit of sense. And: I simply do not believe that a bear hunting, construction working, oil rigging, trick riding Montana girl who got married in a Baptist church would know, much less use, the word "schmuck."

Scene 24

Everybody is back inside the bar. Torrance is handcuffed.

TORRANCE: Well. Here we are. Who would have thought it would come to this?
JANET: My mother, my sister, most of my girlfriends . . .
HELEN: Why didn't you tell me you had a wife?
TRIKE: You lied to your woman?
ARMY TRUCK: Can't build a relationship with mistrust, man.
KOWALSKI: I guess you didn't think was important to tell us he was your husband.
JANET: You know, I don't get any help from the cops if I tell them I'm after a deadbeat husband. Especially not my own deadbeat husband. [to Fraser] But I, um. I should have told you.
JEEP: Why, you got something going with Hat Boy here?
JANET: Hey. What's it to you?
JEEP: Well, I'm a student of human nature.
TORRANCE: What is a Mountie doing here, anyway?
KOWALSKI: [speaking quickly] His name is Constable Benton Fraser. He first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father, and for reasons that do not need explaining at this juncture, he has remained, a lesion —
FRASER: Um — liaison, Ray. [to Torrance] Attached as liaison with the Canadian consulate. [to Janet] You know, it may be possible that your husband had a reason for leaving.
HELEN: Yeah, he's a pig.
FRASER: Well, apart from that. A, a different reason.
TORRANCE: Right. What would that be?
FRASER: I'm referring to the killers who are pursuing you. It might be that he didn't want to lead them to his family.
ARMY TRUCK: That takes guts.
TORRANCE: Ha. Huh, didn't think of that, did you? Now, a lot of guys would have led armed men to their families. But not me. That's a crime? I'm guilty.
JEEP: Hey, give the guy a chance.
JANET: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He left six months ago.
KOWALSKI: Excuse me, excuse me. I hate to break up a love connection, but we got the matter of an outstanding warrant, so I think I'm going to take our little friend down to the station and sort it out. [He pulls Torrance up by his arm. Fraser picks up his hat and starts saying goodbye to the bounty hunters.]
TORRANCE: No, this is all a big mistake.
FRASER: [shaking hands with Trike] Sir.
KOWALSKI: Usually is.
TORRANCE: Wait, no, I'm serious. It was just —
FRASER: [shaking hands with Army Truck] My pleasure.
TORRANCE: — it was stupid!
JANET: Yeah, well, that much I could believe.
KOWALSKI: [to the bounty hunters] Hey —
FRASER: [shaking hands with Helen] Ma'am.
KOWALSKI: — you fart-hammers pull those weapons in Chicago, you can say goodbye to them, okay? [The bounty hunters wave, no problem, man.] Let's go.
TORRANCE: [as they're hauling him out] Listen, I, I was playing the horses. I wound up owing Lester Rivers around fifty grand. So he says, he, he says he's going to forget the whole thing if I just do — run this little errand for him.
FRASER: Excuse me. [He picks up Torrance's hand and smells a couple of his fingers.]
TORRANCE: [snatches his hand back] What — what are you doing?
FRASER: Nothing. No, I'm sorry. Please, carry on.
TORRANCE: I thought you were going to kiss it. He — wasn't going to kiss it, was he?
KOWALSKI: You're lucky he didn't lick it.

They leave the bar.

I am delighted by Fraser politely taking his leave of the bounty hunters and the bartender. I am less delighted by Kowalski's use of "fart-hammers," which feels to me like a period-appropriate but nevertheless extremely tiresome homophobic slur. (I normally heard "fart-knocker," but given Kowalski's verbal imprecision (despite his haranguing Francesca for her verbal imprecision, which he honestly probably does because he's self-conscious about his own), this tracks.)

Scene 25

The team comes out of the bar.

TORRANCE: So anyway, I go. I, I pick up this package from these two very nasty-looking guys to take back to Lester, and — I, I open the package. Look — did you ever see two million dollars? Huh? Well, I'm looking at it, it's all green and beautiful, and I'm thinking, this is the last chance I got to do anything for us, you know, for the kids. So — so I lie low for a few days. And I — and then I hear this is, like, this contract out on me, and I figure maybe this, this hasn't been the best move that I ever made. So I, I go, I buy a couple of guns from this guy that I know, and they bust me for that. But I, I bail myself out, and I run.
FRASER: To protect the children.
TORRANCE: Right, right. To protect them. And Janet. [to Janet, as the beat-up old car that was following them before comes into the bar parking lot] Look, you don't know what it's like for me, you earning the money all the time. What it does to my self-respect.
JANET: Oh. So what you're saying is, you're not really a deadbeat, you're just really, really stupid.
TORRANCE: Right.
KOWALSKI: Touching. Get in the car.
FRASER: Look out!

Fraser tugs Janet behind the car for cover. The shooter, presumably Harvey the Nail or Lester the River, shoots the window out of Kowalski's car. Kowalski, ducking behind the other side of the car, holds up his badge. Music cue: "You're Everywhere" by Blue Rodeo. Torrance runs.

KOWALSKI: Hey! Chicago PD.

Yeah, I gave you my heart and I gave you my soul
That's not enough you want more

SHOTGUN: Come here, damn you!
TORRANCE: Hey, Lester.
SHOTGUN (RIVERS): Get in! Get in the car! [He drags Torrance into the back of the beater. The bounty hunters come running out of the bar.] Go!

Like the writing on an ancient wall
You're a mystery that I'll never solve

The beater drives off. Kowalski stands up, aiming his gun, but he doesn't have a good shot. The bounty hunters hop in their respective vehicles. Janet also doesn't have a good shot.

Yeah you're everywhere
Yeah you're everywhere
Yeah you're everywhere but you're just not there for me
For me

JANET: Damn it! Damn, damn, damn. You just let him get away.
KOWALSKI: I didn't let him. You let him get away.
JANET: You are some crackerjack cop.
KOWALSKI: Hey, hey. Your husband.
FRASER: Excuse me. I think the question we should be asking ourselves is, where did they take him? Now, judging from the amount of mud and manure under his fingernails, my guess is that they've —
JANET: The stables.
FRASER: Correct. Ray, shall we?
KOWALSKI: Yeah. [They get in the car. Fraser opens the front passenger door for Janet and gets in the back himself.] You realize, of course, that this is going to cost you. Another fifty.
FRASER: Forty.
KOWALSKI: Thirty.
FRASER: Twenty.
KOWALSKI: Done.
JANET: You pay this guy?
FRASER: Canadian funds.

First of all, Torrance's excuse—that it dings his self-respect for his wife to be the breadwinner—is indeed extreme horseshit that we are still dealing with 25 years later; I can't find the article I'm thinking of right now, but how about the one where a woman quit the business she had founded, instantly affecting not only her own income but that of all her laid-off employees, because her less-employed husband couldn't deal with child care responsibilities while the kid was home from school or day care during the pandemic. GRAR. (My own husband out-earns me by about 2:1 and didn't qualify for CARES Act extraordinary leave in the beginning of the everyone-who-could-conceivably-stay-home-was-doing-so phase, but in general when our kid can't go to school we share the disruption equally. He does not get nor even expect special recognition for this, because he is not an asshole.)

Secondly, if Janet is the breadwinner, and for the past six months she has had one less family member than usual to support, why doesn't she have the cash (or credit? it's 1997, don't people have plastic money, even in Montana?) to stay in a motel?

Scene 26

Our heroes are driving through Chicago to get to the stables.

Well I've walked along the red canals of Mars
I've known kings and king makers
Poets, painters, and paupers
I've danced danced on the rings of Saturn
Still your pilgrim soul is the only thing that ever mattered

They're sitting at a light and see the bounty hunters go by on a cross street.

Yeah you're everywhere
Yeah you're everywhere
Yeah you're everywhere but you're just not there for me
For me

At the stable, Torrance is digging a hole.

TORRANCE: I don't know why this has to be so big. It's only a bag. I mean, you could bury a body — [The music stops as he realizes what that means.]
RIVERS: Just do it, okay?
TORRANCE: Lester, I'm giving back the money. You said if I give back the money, you're gonna let me live.
RIVERS: [He and Harvey the Nail both point their guns at Torrance.] Dig!

Torrance keeps digging. The music starts up again. The bounty hunters are looking at a "Welcome to Chicago" map.

ARMY TRUCK: I thought you knew where we were going. What are we going to do now? [Jeep is looking at a compass.] What the hell? [Jeep points in a different direction.]
TRIKE: Don't give me that. [He pushes Jeep.]
JEEP: That's the way we should have been going in the first place!

They squabble.

Yeah this old world ain't always what it seems
Sometimes I feel I'm living in someone else's dream

Kowalski pulls up at the stable.

My favorite comedy prisoner-digging-his-own-grave scene (which I agree should be a rare thing) is Ewan McGregor in A Life Less Ordinary (1997), about which the only thing I actually remember is himself being handed a shovel in the desert, and when he asks if they aren't just going to shoot him, and they say they are, he says "Then I don't see why I should dig!" (Maybe there was also some bad karaoke by Cameron Diaz.)

Scene 27

Fraser and Janet hop out of the car and run for the barn. Kowalski gets out and pulls out his phone.

KOWALSKI: I'll call for backup. [He does.] Vecchio. Uh, it's an emergency at the racetrack. I need backup. Don't put — don't put me on hold.

He is on hold. Fraser and Janet are in the barn, where he is steadying the rope ladder for her.

FRASER: I think it's advisable that we wait for Ray.
JANET: Yeah, that strike ought to be over in a month or so.
FRASER: I have no arrest authority here.

That hasn't stopped him before.

JANET: I do. [They head for the barn where Torrance is digging. Janet pulls her gun.] Hold it!
RIVERS: [holds his gun to Torrance's head] You want him dead? Or alive? Drop the gun.
TORRANCE: Don't do it, Janet. They'll kill you.
JANET: [steadily] That was really unselfish of you, Bradley.
TORRANCE: Thank you.
RIVERS: Okay, so he's a nice guy. I'm still going to kill him.

After a tense moment of everybody staring, Janet drops her gun and raises her hands.

TORRANCE: Thanks. You shouldn't have done that, but thanks.
JANET: Yeah, well, I did it for the kids.
RIVERS: Shut up! [shoves Torrance] Pass me that bag. Give me that bag. Get it up here. Watch it.

Torrance gives Rivers the bag he thought he was digging the hole to bury. Kowalski is creeping along where nobody can see him. Fraser sees him at the last second before he jumps out and tackles Harvey the Nail. He falls into the hole with Torrance, and Rivers runs off.

JANET: Down!

She picks up her gun. Fraser racks the shotgun and gives it to Kowalski.

FRASER: Good work, Ray. I'll get the other one.
KOWALSKI: [holding both the shotgun and his service weapon on Torrance and the Nail] Down!
JANET: Watch this one too for me, okay? He's worth twelve hundred bucks.
KOWALSKI: Kiss the dirt! Kiss the dirt! Get down there. I don't want to see you.

Fraser and Janet step outside, nod to each other, and run off in opposite directions. Rivers is running across a lawn with the bag of money and hijacks a motorcycle. He takes off on the thing; Fraser has almost caught up to him on foot when Janet calls for him.

JANET: Fraser! Fraser!

She rides up on a horse with a second saddled up and ready to go. Fraser hops onto the second horse at the gallop and they ride off together after Rivers. Once again, the two horses, each of which presumably has one HP, catch up to a motorcycle with probably a 60 HP engine. Fraser jumps off the horse and tackles Rivers off the bike. Janet hops down as Fraser, who has no arrest authority here, is cuffing Rivers.

FRASER: Good riding.
JANET: You too.
FRASER: Oh, thank you. Thank you kindly, although I, I thought I sort of drifted to the left a little, there.
JANET: No, no, not at all. You know, actually I was crowding you a little.
FRASER: Oh, no. No. It's — uh, I'm very inexperienced.

Fraser, you are a Mountie.

I don't know why Bradley is worth $1200. Is that the fee Janet is going to get from the bail bondsman if she returns him?

Again with the power:weight ratio of a vehicle with even a small engine vs. a single animal. I think the bike should be able to outrun the horses. But I'm happy to entertain discussion!

JANET: Really? Well, you have a wonderful natural aptitude.
FRASER: You think so?
JANET: Yes, yes. You ever thought of, uh, riding trick in a rodeo?
FRASER: No, no. [He hauls Rivers to his feet and the three of them walk off, leaving Fraser's hat behind.] Although, you know, now that you mention it, I was once involved in something that resembled trick riding on a renegade bison on the main street of Vegreville, a town that's noted for its enormous painted egg. Oh — my hat. [He retrieves his hat.] You see, the bison . . .

The self-negging is too much for me, particularly because bro, you leapt onto a running horse. I know it was your stunt man who did it, but it was cool. Don't sell yourself short.

Anyway, the Vegreville painted egg is real.

Scene 28

In the squad room, Torrance is playing with his kids, sitting in the desk chair with Robbie and Sue on his lap while Annie spins the chair around and around. Diefenbaker is delighted with this game as well.

ROBBIE: Faster, faster, faster.
ANNIE: I can't go faster.

Fraser is sitting at Kowalski's desk, where Kowalski is on the phone, watching this family scene sadly. Welsh comes over.

WELSH: Constable?
FRASER: Lieutenant.
WELSH: Glad to see you were able to shake that nagging flu, Ray. [drops a file on Kowalski's desk]
KOWALSKI: No one's happier to be back at work than me, sir. [He gives Welsh the "bunt" sign again.]

Diefenbaker barks. The family are still playing in the chair.

TORRANCE: I've missed you guys.
FRASER: They're nice kids. I hope their father doesn't have to go to jail.
KOWALSKI: Yeah. Working out a deal to testify against, uh, Lester Rivers. Get immunity, witness protection, the whole eight yards.
FRASER: Well, that's good.

Janet joins her family. She leans down to speak sweetly to Bradley so the kids won't be able to tell she's threatening him.

JANET: Bradley, you know, you do something stupid like this again, and I'm going to punch a hole in your back and pull your spine through and beat you over the head with it. [smiles nice as you please]
TORRANCE: That sounds fair, Janet.
JANET: Yeah.

She looks over at Fraser; he stands up.

Fraser is still out of uniform, and when he stands up in the blue jeans and the flannel and the clean-cut compared to Bradley Torrance's beardy gruffness, that's the point at which I feel like Fraser and Janet belong in a Hallmark movie.

In all honesty, though, he gives good wistful in this scene, and I frankly can't tell if he's jealous of Bradley Torrance or of the kids. That is, we haven't known before this episode that Fraser particularly wants a family, and maybe he hasn't necessarily wanted one before now, but in this scene he sure does seem that way. I'm hearing Emile de Becque singing "This Nearly Was Mine" over here.

Close to my heart she came
Only to fly away,
Only to fly as day flies from moonlight
Now, now I'm alone,
Still dreaming of paradise,
Still saying that paradise
Once nearly was mine.

(Although Emile de Becque knew Nellie Forbush for longer than a single day before she left him.) But it's not just that he wishes he had what Torrance has, right? He's also—look, those kids have been missing their dad for six months and now they've got him back, and look how happy they are, and Fraser missed his dad for like a year and a half at a time, and is he not seeing himself in those kids too? ISN'T HE?! And I mean now that Torrance is back he's going to step back and not try to continue auditioning for the role of stepdad, but if he isn't thinking about and regretting several or many aspects of his own childhood here, I'll eat a bug.

He also quite gallantly does not correct Kowalski's "whole eight yards" (it should of course be "whole nine yards"), because he is not himself insecure about his occasional failures to come up with the correct expression (lock our load, hole in my bag of marbles, etc.).

Scene 29

Fraser and Janet are walking and talking in the hallway.

JANET: So anyway, I'm going to work out some arrangement with Bradley.
FRASER: Ah.
JANET: Oh, no, nothing like that, no. I mean, he can come and stay on the weekends or something, but, you know — I've got this shed that I'm going to make into a bunkhouse, and you know, he can stay out there. It's, it's not like he's a great dad, 'cause, I mean, hell, he's not even a good dad, but, you know, the kids need to see him, so I — you know, what can you do? You just —
FRASER: I understand.
JANET: Well, anyway, I just wanted to say — you know, thanks for all your help, and, ah —
FRASER: It was my pleasure.
JANET: Oh, you were great.
FRASER: Thank you.
JANET: Well. [He clears his throat.] So . . . bye.
FRASER: Okay. [They walk off in opposite directions. The sad music stops. Then he calls to her.] Hey, you know something. [They both come back to the same spot. The sad music resumes.] You can trust me.
JANET: Yeah, I know. [They kiss. Just once.] See ya.
FRASER: Okay.

He smiles sadly as she goes.

BOB FRASER: A man always feels better when he's done his duty.
FRASER: [still watching Janet leave] Dad, when you were alone out there without Mum, did you ever feel lonely?
BOB FRASER: Oh, every second, son. Every second.
FRASER: That's what I thought.

Kowalski comes by from the squad room.

KOWALSKI: Hey, buddy, let's get something to eat. [Fraser does not react to his clap on the back as he walks by and does not turn to join him.] Uh, I know you're a little short of cash, but, uh, I'm flush, so — I'm buying. [Fraser pulls himself together and turns, walking past him down the hall. Kowalski catches up to him.] Look, it'll be all right.

Diefenbaker joins them as well. Kowalski slings his arm around Fraser's shoulders as they turn the corner.

Aww, Fraser. So that's it: He's not sad to be losing Janet and her kids specifically, but he's so lonely he's ready to cry about it in a police station and she was his first chance at companionship in—well, so he apparently didn't consider that there was any path forward with Thatcher, or they'd be on it, right? So his first chance since Victoria. Listen, watching a woman you barely know but have decided you're in love with (or could be) leave you, whether it's on a train while you lie on the platform bleeding from a gunshot wound or whether it's to rejoin her no-account husband because her kids need both parents in their lives—sure, plenty of wounds in both cases. But like: If Janet and Bradley aren't getting back together, couldn't she and Fraser ("Hat Boy") have a relationship if, as seems to be the case, they both wanted one? Of course, he'd have to move to Montana, because it doesn't sound like she's prepared to stay in Chicago. Maybe that's it; she likes him fine, but at the end of the day, she recognizes that she just met him and uprooting her family at this point might be a little premature.

The kiss was good, though.

Anyway, here's Kowalski being a good friend. He recognizes that his buddy is hurting now that Janet is gone, and the correct way to comfort your friend is not to tell him all the ways she was no good for him and he's better off without her, which he may well want to do given how he didn't like her from the start of the episode to the finish, but to take him to dinner and give him a hug and assure him he'll be okay, all of which he does. A+ friend and partner work, well done.

Cumulative body count: 25
Red uniform: The first day of the episode, but not that evening and not the second day

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