return to due South: season 4 episode 12 (or season 3 episode 25) "Call of the Wild part 1"

[fox]

Call of the Wild part 1
air date March 14, 1999

Scene 1

Fraser, in mufti, and his father are ice fishing.

FRASER: The first day the frost takes, and there's a sheen of ice on the dugout?
BOB FRASER: And when you feel the wind come down from the north, bringing the snow.
FRASER: Get out on horseback, and there's a slanting of light from the east.
BOB FRASER: Oh, I miss it, son. I miss it terribly.
FRASER: Yeah, so do I. [He looks at Bob.] You all right?
BOB FRASER: I don't know. You know, life is — is odd enough. But death, son. Lord God. They don't even give you a road map. Everything comes under scrutiny.
FRASER: What brought this on?
BOB FRASER: I don't know. Something in the air. There's something stirring there. You feel it?
FRASER: Yeah. You know, I've had — I've had some very odd dreams lately.
BOB FRASER: About your mother.
FRASER: Yeah. You?
BOB FRASER: Well, I'm dead. I don't dream, so I don't know what this sensation is that I've got. Although it's very similar to when Walter Singlefoot laced my tea with kinnikinnick and then seemed to turn into a twelve-foot alligator before my very eyes. [He stands up.] I don't know, it feels like — feels as though your mother is very close.
FRASER: [nodding] Very close.

Kowalski comes out onto the lake. It turns out they're on a pond of some sort in a city park.

KOWALSKI: Fraser, I hope for your sake you're talking to a fish.
FRASER: Hey, Ray. Have a seat. I'll, ah, rig you up a line.
KOWALSKI: Caught any?
FRASER: No, but you know, ice fishing takes patience.
KOWALSKI: Yeah. Well, you're going to need a lot of that, 'cause there ain't no fish in here.
FRASER: Well, how do you know that, Ray?
KOWALSKI: 'Cause it's a city reservoir. Drinking water. No fish.
FRASER: Oh.

Fraser drops his lines, claps his gloves together, and looks around, disappointed.

KOWALSKI: You okay?
FRASER: Yeah. Yeah. I'm just, ah —
KOWALSKI: What?
FRASER: I'm homesick. [He looks at Kowalski sadly. Then he looks at his fishing line.] Wait a minute.
KOWALSKI: What?
FRASER: Hang on a second. [They are very still, and then something yanks at the line. Diefenbaker barks.] Yeah. Here we go. [He's reeling.]
KOWALSKI: Okay, set the hook, set the hook.
FRASER: I've got something.
KOWALSKI: Okay, okay — watch your drag, watch the drag.
FRASER: Something big! [He laughs.]
KOWALSKI: Okay. [He is looking at the hole in the ice.]
FRASER: Can you see it?
KOWALSKI: No, not yet.
FRASER: This is it!
KOWALSKI: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Kowalski takes hold of the catch, which is a boot on the foot of a dead person in the water. He and Fraser stop and look at each other.

BOB FRASER: Nice fish.

Kinnikinnick is a smoking mixture, usually bearberry, and I suppose putting something that's meant to be smoked in someone's tea could turn that tea nicely hallucinogenic. Chicago sits, as we know, on the lake they call Michigan, so of course it doesn't get its drinking water from any type of reservoir with no fish in it, but okay.

Credits roll.

Paul Gross
Callum Keith Rennie
Beau Starr
Camilla Scott
Tony Craig | Tom Melissis
Ramona Milano
and Gordon Pinsent as Fraser Sr.

(plus Draco the dog)

Dean McDermott, David Marciano, Bo Svenson, Jonathan Potts, Phil Jarrett, Jan Rubeš as Mort, and Leslie Nielsen as Buck Frobisher

THERE'S the and/as credit Nielsen has deserved this whole time. Woohoo! (Wait: David Marciano? What? (And billed behind McDermott? What?!))

Scene 2

Fraser and Kowalski have brought the body to the morgue. Fraser is looking at documents in a folder while Mort works; Kowalski has his back turned, of course.

MORT: Ever since I can remember, I associated fishing with death. [He has a bullet in his tweezers.]
KOWALSKI: Yeah, well, you catch a fish, the fish dies, then you eat the fish.
MORT: When I was a boy, I was in a camp, and the guy who ran the camp was a fisherman. Of sorts. He would throw hand grenades into the pond, and when the fish came up, belly up, stunned, he'd just scoop them up with a net. [He chuckles at the memory.]
KOWALSKI: What was this, some sort of summer camp or something?
MORT: No. Auschwitz. [He shows them his tattoo. Fraser looks up from his papers; Kowalski looks over his shoulder. They are appalled.] Oh, come on, guys. I didn't mean to — [Kowalski looks at Fraser for a second and then turns around again, hanging his head.] — Well. What else do we know about this man?
FRASER: Ah, his name is Cartwright. He has a couple of weapons charges and associated with bad people.
MORT: Very bad, judging from the way he died. Shot with a small rifle, probably manufactured in old Czechoslovakia, and the bullet tipped with thallium. [He shows it to Fraser.] Deadly poison, probably manufactured in Bulgaria. So there you go. Ballistics.
KOWALSKI: [handing something back, trying not to look] Looks like he had a meet set for tonight.
FRASER: I agree. Shall we?

They leave the morgue, but Kowalski comes back quickly.

KOWALSKI: Look, Mort, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that, ah —
MORT: Come on, Ray. I didn't want you — feel sorry. I find life interesting. Even death, I find interesting. But fishing? [Fraser, still at the door, cocks his head.] Fishing is ridiculous.

Fraser and Kowalski do tiny smiles and leave the morgue as Mort gets back to work.

As we all know, when we first met Fraser he had just arrested a guy who was dynamiting rivers and scooping salmon off the surface with a backhoe, so Mort's childhood experience sounds a tiny bit familiar, and then

💔

My researches suggest that it's possible Jan Rubeš was at Auschwitz and simply never talked about it. His English language profiles on Wikipedia nor IMDb (and their references, including his Order of Canada citation) don't include it, nor his obituaries in the Canadian newspapers; but there's a Spanish article at cines.com in which the section "Biografía" includes the paragraph "En 1942, su familia fue deportada a Auschwitz, pero Jan consiguió escapar y esconderse en los bosques de Checoslovaquia." Which is all fine and well, except that it gives a different date (September 23, 1924) and place of birth (Mladá Boleslav) from all the English sources (June 6, 1920, and Volyně, respectively). It does have broadly the same filmography, so they clearly intend to be talking about the same individual, but with those discrepancies and no sources cited, I'm not 100% confident (and I suppose even if I were sure the Spanish text was accurate, I wouldn't know if it was telling us he escaped from Auschwitz or escaped deportation when his family were sent there). The tattoo looks convincing, but they can indeed do things with makeup, can't they, so.

In any event, it's not for me to say how a survivor should most appropriately let people know what sort of camp he was talking about. If it were up to me, I might have had him read that line a little more matter-of-factly and not stop what he was doing to hold out his arm so they could see the tattoo—and then look up and be surprised at the boys' reaction. I think Fraser and Kowalski's horrified silence would have been just as believable if Mort had just mentioned the name of the place by way of clarification, rather than even edging anywhere near scolding Kowalski for having guessed wrong, and Kowalski's shame might have landed even harder; as it was, Mort's correction had just enough teeth behind it that his protests that he didn't mean to bring down the room feel just the tiniest bit disingenuous.

Thallium is indeed extremely toxic, but at this point in the scene, who cares?

Scene 3

Fraser and Kowalski get out of the car in a dark alley at night. They look at each other. Kowalski racks his gun. They head down the alley to investigate the meeting. The camera follows them from overhead, so as they pass under it, it swings to follow them and everything goes upside-down; when Fraser opens the back door of a car and a dead body falls out, the camera swings up and rights itself. Diefenbaker growls.

KOWALSKI: Dead guy. [They look at each other. There's a clanging noise from somewhere nearby; they run to see what's up.] Chicago PD! Hold it! [The guy who presumably made the noise aims a grenade launcher at them.] Uh-oh.

Fraser and Kowalski dive behind a dumpster. Diefenbaker runs the other way. The guy fires one incendiary grenade at the dumpster and another at the wall at the other end of the alley, blowing a hole in it; grins at our heroes; and gets in the back of his van, pulling the gate down as his buddy in the driver's seat drives away through the hole in the wall. Fraser and Kowalski come out from behind the burning dumpster. Bob is there.

BOB AND BEN FRASER: Muldoon.
KOWALSKI: You know him?
FRASER: I knew him.
KOWALSKI: What do you mean you knew him?
FRASER: He died thirty years ago.

Scene 4

Crime scene investigators are looking over the alley. Kowalski and Fraser are still there; Fraser seems a little stunned.

KOWALSKI: Who is this Muldoon?
FRASER: Holloway Muldoon. He was a legend in the North. Gifted trapper and guide. The story has it he once carried an injured Hungarian lepidopterist on his back for almost two hundred miles through a raging blizzard. [Kowalski picks up the remains of the firebomb.] Underneath this heroic exterior, there lurked a criminal who for years had been trafficking in endangered species—grizzly bladder, puma pelts, wolf fur. [Diefenbaker whines.] Yes, I know, boy. When my father went after him, the chase was epic. It lasted for a year and a half.
KOWALSKI: A year and a half?
BOB FRASER: It was personal.
FRASER: You see, Muldoon's friendship with my father placed him above suspicion. The chase finally ended when Muldoon fell into Six Mile Canyon.
KOWALSKI: Fraser, he's here in Chicago, so he did not fall into Six Mile Canyon.
FRASER: Apparently he survived.
KOWALSKI: Look, all I know, Fraser, we got two dead guys, three scumbags shooting up Chicago with a grenade launcher, and a whole lot of work to do. [He walks off.]
FRASER: [turns to Bob] Is that about the gist of it?
BOB FRASER: Oh, that was just the tip of the iceberg, son.

I can only find a Six Mile Canyon in Nevada. In Canada, all I've got is Six Mile Hill, which is near Kamloops, BC. Mind you they don't specify that Muldoon didn't fall into the Six Mile Canyon in Nevada, but Bob Fraser wouldn't have had any jurisdiction there, would he.

So Muldoon and Bob Fraser were friends, but it turned out Muldoon was trafficking rare animals? (A lepidopterist studies butterflies. Not sure why such a person would come from Hungary to the north of Canada, but it turns out that as of 2013 there were 92 butterfly species known in the NWT, so what do I know.)

Scene 5

Francesca slaps a file down on Welsh's desk.

FRANCESCA: Well — turns out that your car body was an associate of your fishing body. Name was Caesar Khalil. Simple sheet, actually. Receiving stolen goods, receiving stolen goods, and oh, look, quelle surprise, receiving stolen goods.
KOWALSKI: So he was a fence.
WELSH: Detective, your powers of deduction make a guy's head spin.
KOWALSKI: Thanks.
FRASER: This is interesting.
KOWALSKI: Makes no sense. It's —
FRASER: No, I believe it's a code. [They are looking at the guy's date book.]
WELSH: [pointing] Looks like he had a meet set up for today.
FRASER: Mm-hmm, this arrow would seem to indicate it was connected to last night's meeting.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, the only problem is we have no clue where this is happening.
FRASER: Well, we know that last night's meeting was at Quincy and Orleans. So, now, taking this to be Orleans and this to be Quincy, that gives us thirteen letters. Now, if we plug those letters into today's entry, we get —
KOWALSKI: O-L-C-O, something, something, next word, something, R-U-C, something, I-N, something.
WELSH: Rucking — trucking.
FRASER: All right, assuming it to be trucking, that gives us the T, which gives us — [He is filling in spaces.]
FRANCESCA: Oh, ah — Olcott Trucking! It's that abandoned place on Wacker.
FRASER: Very good, Francesca.

Francesca beams proudly.

As well she might! Local girl with the local knowledge!

The pages of the date book show March 8–9 as the weekend, which means the nearest year it could be from is 1997. I'm just saying.

Scene 6

This is indeed an abandoned garage. Fraser and Kowalski and Diefenbaker are lurking.

KOWALSKI: Rats.
FRASER: Something wrong, Ray?
KOWALSKI: No. [points to a rat] Rats.
FRASER: Oh. Yes.
KOWALSKI: This place gives me the creeps.
FRASER: Him too. He's never been fond of rodents.

Diefenbaker whimpers and cowers. A couple of guys come into the garage.

KOWALSKI: Showtime. [He aims his gun and shouts.] Hold it right there!

The guys duck behind cover and aim guns of their own.

GUYS: This is ATF, throw down your weapons!
KOWALSKI: Step out of the shadows!
GUYS (ATF): Show us your ID!
ONE OF THE ATF GUYS: [to the other ATF guy] Don't talk when I talk!

Scene 7

Kowalski and Fraser and the ATF guys are in Welsh's office.

ONE OF THE ATF GUYS: This is not your jurisdiction.
WELSH: That's odd, Agent Maddox, because the last time I checked the criminal code, homicide was still under state jurisdiction.
THE OTHER ATF GUY: Let me make it clear. I go to meet a snitch, I don't need interference from some flatfoot city cop.
KOWALSKI: This from the boys who brought you Waco. Wake up! Your snitch is out there chilling at the cold meat party.
FRASER: Gentlemen, perhaps it would be more productive to discuss the weapons smuggler.
THE OTHER ATF GUY: It's none of your business.
WELSH: Someone starts shooting up Chicago with a grenade launcher, I figure it's my business.
ONE OF THE ATF GUYS (MADDOX): Wrong, Lieutenant. [hands him a document] This is our case. You keep your nose clear.
THE OTHER ATF GUY: For the record, Waco was an act of God.

The ATF guys fuck off. Welsh is reading the document.

KOWALSKI: So?
WELSH: So officially you're off the case. [He tears up the document.] But hey, if someone wanted to take this case up as a hobby, everyone should have a hobby.

Kowalski smiles as Welsh puts his glasses back in his pocket.

We've mentioned Waco before. I'm not sure how to feel about Welsh basically going "federal, schmederal" at this point.

Scene 8

Fraser, Kowalski, and Turnbull are at a conference table in the consulate with volumes of Bob's journals. Turnbull is awed.

FRASER: See, everything my father ever did is in here, cross-referenced by criminal and by crime.
TURNBULL: Now, the filing is a little crude.
BOB FRASER: Crude?
TURNBULL: But brilliant.
BOB FRASER: Smart boy.
TURNBULL: To find Muldoon . . . [He gets up and walks off with one volume.]
FRASER: Hmm.
KOWALSKI: What's up?
FRASER: There's a period of three weeks where there's no entry.
KOWALSKI: Maybe he was busy.
FRASER: No, I don't think so. The silence begins with the day my mother died. [He looks down the table at Bob, who isn't talking.]
TURNBULL: . . . aha! You see, I find Muldoon by simply flipping to page six of — [He grabs another book off the table.] — volume nine.

Fraser takes volume 9 from Turnbull and starts to read.

BOB FRASER: I'd have rearranged the landscape, torn down the mountains, and diverted the rivers to catch Muldoon. And I only had the slimmest of clues. He always managed to be where no one expected him to be, and usually that was where he had just been. [He and Fraser look at each other.]
KOWALSKI: Anything?
FRASER: He doubles back on himself.

So Bob was hunting Muldoon assiduously but took a break after Caroline died? We know he stopped going to work; apparently the time in which his beard grew and he lost weight was three weeks, and then where he went after he made Benton a bowl of oatmeal was back out in search of Muldoon.

Scene 9

Fraser and Kowalski are in the alley lurking around the burnt-out dumpster.

KOWALSKI: He doubles back on himself, does he, Fraser? We've been waiting out here for two days. All's I got is, ah, a nose that runs faster than a three-year-old at the Kentucky Derby. Look, I'm doneski. I'm, I'm out of here. Had enough of this.

As he's leaving, a car approaches from each end of the alley. He quickly ducks back into the shadows again, behind some crates. The driver gets out of one of the cars; the driver and passenger get out of the other. The driver of the second car is Muldoon. He has a case in his hand and is tapping the handle, maybe a little nervously. There's a passenger in the back of the first car who's sitting pat, not getting out. Muldoon pauses. Kowalski jumps out, his gun drawn.

KOWALSKI: Freeze! Chicago PD.

Muldoon turns and flings his case to the ground. His buddy immediately fires at Kowalski. Kowalski returns fire for a moment but dives back behind his crates when Muldoon turns around and deploys his grenade launcher again. The crates are catching fire, so Kowalski hurries and jumps across to hide with Fraser. The other car, the one with the nonmoving passenger, gets the hell out of there. Muldoon and his pal also drive away, leaving the case behind. Fraser and Kowalski come out, approach it, and open it. There are five canisters inside.

KOWALSKI: What's that?
FRASER: It's Russian lettering.
KOWALSKI: What's it say?
FRASER: Well, my Russian's a little bit rusty, but I think it's nerve gas. And this one — [He picks up one of the canisters and holds it to his ear for a moment.] — oh, dear. [He bites off his glove and speaks around the finger.] Do you have any gum?

Kowalski has in fact been chewing gum. He takes it out of his mouth and gives it to Fraser.

We can't see the passenger in the back of the second car; we can barely see the silhouette. (And we can't see the lettering on the canisters, so we can't judge the rustiness of Fraser's Russian.)

Scene 10

Fraser is MacGyvering a seal for the nerve gas canister. Kowalski is pacing.

FRASER: We're in luck. It seems to be holding. Well, you know, at first glance, you wouldn't assume that gum and string would be able to — what's wrong with you?
KOWALSKI: [holding his head] Ah, I've got it.
FRASER: You've got what?
KOWALSKI: Gas. I, I, I, I've been gassed.
FRASER: Oh, no, Ray, I shouldn't think you'd actually been gassed.
KOWALSKI: [shaking his hands frantically] I got tingling. My hands are tingling, I'm tingling all over.
FRASER: Ray, Ray, if you'd actually been exposed to nerve gas you'd be experiencing different symptoms.
KOWALSKI: Like what?
FRASER: Well, you'd have difficulty breathing. [Kowalski immediately begins to gasp and wheeze.] You'd probably feel a little bit dizzy. [Kowalski staggers and falls to the ground.] And you might feel as though you want to vomit. [Kowalski gags and retches.] You'd probably start bleeding out of your nose. [Kowalski touches his upper lip to see if his nose is bleeding.] Your bowels would release. [Kowalski looks between his legs to see if he's shit himself. Fraser heads down the alley, speaking over his shoulder, unconcerned.] Most of all, though, you'd probably be unconscious and dead.
KOWALSKI: Oh. I get nervous, I just, ah — I got a bit nervous. Okay. [He staggers to his feet and joins Fraser, who's investigating other clues in the alley.] My bowels seem okay.
FRASER: I'm relieved.
KOWALSKI: What'd you find?
FRASER: It's a footprint belonging, I think, to the driver of the car, in which case we can assume reasonably that he was or he is an employee of the Hotel California.
KOWALSKI: You cannot tell that by a footprint. Fraser, I don't care if you can track musk ox across the Atlantic Ocean, you can not tell where a person works by their footprint. [Fraser shines his flashlight in Kowalski's face and then on the boot print: It says "Hotel California" because the lettering was evidently embossed on the heel.] Oh.

This is like low tide levels of sand in this alley; that's lucky, isn't it? It's also lucky that the Hotel California embossed their employees' boot heels, rather than stamping them, and that they did so in mirror image, so that the boot print would read rather than , like the nose of an ambulance.

Scene 11

Three Mounties are lying unconscious (at best) in the snow. Buck Frobisher picks up a canister and stands up, letting one rip as he does so. A half-dozen others on his team flinch and wave the air in front of their faces.

FROBISHER: Gas. I've a pretty good idea which direction this wind is blowing. Phone! [His squad members come forward to offer him their cell phones.] No, a real phone. One with a dial.

Sigh. There is a segment of the population for whom fart jokes are never not funny. I am not a member of that segment.

Scene 12

In Thatcher's office, Turnbull is on the phone with Frobisher.

TURNBULL: Gas. You say you have gas, sir?
FROBISHER: A powerful gas. It can wipe out thousands. Possibly even more. [He's back in an outpost, with his team in the background.]
TURNBULL: I see. Do you have any idea as to the source of this gas?
FROBISHER: Russian in origin. And there seem to be any number of clues, none of which I can recall at the moment, that indicate that they pose a dire threat to the city of Chicago.
TURNBULL: Chicago.
FROBISHER: Get this straight, son. This is a lethal gas. This could wipe out big cities all across North America. [He farts so loudly Turnbull can hear it on the phone.]
TURNBULL: Have you considered consulting a physician, sir?
FROBISHER: [as his crew members groan and cough and recoil and cover their noses] Son, I think that you probably have been hit by the dumb stick. Would you put me on through to your superior, please?
TURNBULL: Yes, sir.
THATCHER: [glares at him and takes the phone] Inspector Thatcher.
FROBISHER: Inspector, one word. Dimethylaminoethoxycyanophosphine oxide.

That's funny—as is "any number of clues, none of which I can remember at the moment;" like, go ahead, writers' room, just cut that Gordian Knot and Leslie Nielsen will make it sound good—but it's at least two words. (Depends if you hyphenate the first one, Dimethylaminoethoxy-cyanophosphine.) This compound appears on the U.S. Munitions Import List as an example of a toxic compound affecting the nervous system, so that's fun.

THATCHER: Oh my God.
FROBISHER: One milligram of that could kill a man.
THATCHER: Or a woman.
FROBISHER: Well, I don't know what it would take to kill a woman. Could be one, could be ten. But that's not important. The important thing is there's a darker thread to this story, and it has all the telltale signs of Muldoon, one of the foulest scum who ever walked the earth. Next to Howard Stern, that is. But it doesn't make sense, 'cause he's been dead for thirty years.
THATCHER: Unfortunately, rumors of Muldoon's death may have been greatly exaggerated.
FROBISHER: Ah, I see. And, ah, Constable Fraser, how is he taking this?
THATCHER: With his usual keenness. Why?
FROBISHER: Ah, then he doesn't know.
THATCHER: Know what?
FROBISHER: About Muldoon and his mother. I have half a mind to get down to Chicago, take a crack at Muldoon myself. [The Mounties in the background hop up eagerly in favor of this idea.] But my detachment is green. Better to have someone up here at this end of the trail.

He farts again. His guys can't stand it.

Howard Stern was (apparently still is) a radio host in the shock jock milieu. I'm not sure why this show would call him out by name; what he was up to in early 1999 seems to have been losing affiliates willing to air his weekly TV show, named "The Howard Stern Radio Show," because it was too offensive even for late-night. TIL Stern also had a character called "Fartman," a superhero who attacks evil with flatulence, which I suppose Frobisher might feel was a sort of mockery of his apparently debilitating digestive upset?

Scene 13

Fraser and Kowalski are in an elevator with a hotel manager.

MANAGER: We do put the mark on the soles. Makes the boots part of the uniform, discourages theft. The only problem is they became something of a collectors' item, and everyone was stealing them.
FRASER: I see. And how many were size sixteen double wide?
KOWALSKI: How do you know the size?
FRASER: Well, we saw the print, Ray.
KOWALSKI: Saw the print.
MANAGER: One pair size sixteen double wide.
FRASER: And they belong to?
MANAGER: Toe Blake.
FRASER: Toe Blake?
MANAGER: Mm. Big Toe Blake is his full name. We had to let him go for stealing. Naturally, he stole his boots when he left.
KOWALSKI: Naturally
MANAGER: Big guy, big toe — big.
KOWALSKI: How big?

So she brands the boots to discourage theft, and the result is that they are stolen more often. I feel like if your hotel is called Hotel California you might have been able to see that coming?

Scene 14

Kowalski and Fraser are outside struggling with a guy who is easily 7' tall, not slightly built, and mad at both of them.

KOWALSKI: Very big.

Blake slams Fraser and Kowalski together and drops Kowalski on the ground. Fraser goes around behind him and jumps on his back.

FRASER: You know, Ray, it's really a question of leverage. It's not unlike bulldogging a steer.
KOWALSKI: [going for the ankles] Wrestling an elephant. [Blake falls to his knees.] Hup two, hup two.

Fraser and Kowalski tackle Blake the rest of the way to the ground together.

Bulldogging is another name for steer wrestling. I've got flashbacks to Westley fighting Fezzik and Rogue Group taking down Imperial ATAT walkers with harpoons and tow cables, and I bet you do too. This Big Toe Blake dude just keeps going, almost as if he's on whichever of the psychoactive drugs gives you superhuman strength. PCP?

Scene 15

Thatcher is at the police station briefing Welsh.

THATCHER: For some time now, Ottawa has suspected that Russian military equipment was being smuggled through Canada for sale throughout the world. Naturally, headquarters wants it stopped immediately.
WELSH: Naturally.
THATCHER: But this particular case that Sergeant Frobisher is working on involves poisonous gas. Which is quite dangerous, you know.
WELSH: Yeah, I've heard that about poisonous gas.
THATCHER: This particular gas, though, is a variant on Russian tabun, which is in fact Dimethylaminoethoxycyanophosphine oxide. Frobisher feels that the shipment is in fact large enough to basically obliterate several small cities. It's really quite exciting. [They have reached Welsh's office, where Francesca gets off the phone and steps out of the way.]
WELSH: Exciting?
THATCHER: Well, at the risk of sounding self-absorbed, a successful resolution to a case of this magnitude could provide me with a promotion and a transfer to Toronto.
FRANCESCA: You're going to Toronto? That's great! For you, of course. And, you know, if there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask. I mean, a lift to the airport, anything —
THATCHER: [insincere] Thank you, I appreciate that.
FRANCESCA: So, I, I, I guess Frase'll be taking over for you, then, right? Probably get a brand-new income, maybe a big house, a bedroom —
THATCHER: Constable "Frase" is my second in command. He's coming with me.

Big Toe Blake's growling can be heard from the squad room.

FRASER: Huey! [Huey has been on the phone, but he puts it down and runs to help.]
KOWALSKI: Dewey! [Dewey is already running to help them also.]
HUEY: Look at him —
DEWEY: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey! Come on!
HUEY: Come on, move it, let's go.

All three detectives and Fraser haul Blake into the squad room, and Welsh joins them to help propel Blake toward the holding cell. Thatcher and Francesca watch them go.

FRANCESCA: [arm around Thatcher's shoulder] We have to talk.
THATCHER: You're touching me.
FRANCESCA: Oh.

Francesca removes her hand but walks with Thatcher out of the squad room.

Thatcher says "I appreciate that" and all I can hear is Cheers season 10 episode 20 "Smotherly Love" (1992):

WOODY: You know, Dr. Sternin-Crane, I always heard that you should tell your mother exactly how you feel.
FRASIER: Is that what you do, Woody?
WOODY: Yeah, right, like I want a whooping.
LILITH: Well, thank you very much, Woody, I appreciate that.
WOODY: You know, I have another idea.
LILTH: Thank you very much, Woody, I appreciate that.
WOODY: You didn't let me tell you the idea yet.
LILITH: Woody, in certain company, when someone says "Thank you very much, I appreciate that," it means "I don't thank you, I don't appreciate that, and I want you to shut your mouth."
WOODY: Oh. Well, thank you very much, Dr. Sternin-Crane, I appreciate that.

Tabun is indeed Dimethylaminoethoxycyanophosphine oxide, also called GA, being the first of the G-series of nerve agents because it was the Germans who synthesized them (thanks, guys). (GB is sarin gas.) Wikipedia says the lethal dose is about .01mg/kg, which if my calculations are correct means Frobisher was right that one milligram could kill a man, 100kg being a not-unreasonable mass for an adult. (I also guess that means those three Mounties in scene 10 were, alas, dead.)

I'm not sure why Francesca expects Fraser will inherit the Liaison Officer position—or, now that I think about it, why Thatcher expects Fraser would come with her if she were transferred to Toronto. Neither of those things happened when Inspector Moffat was promoted and left Chicago.

Francesca is wearing a cute little pinafore dress, so the mystery of the order of filming the episodes continues.

Scene 16

Big Toe Blake is in the interview room with Dewey and Fraser (in the front row) and Kowalski, Huey, and Welsh (in the back).

BLAKE: I'm like a cab. When a guy hires me to drive, I drive.
DEWEY: And if the guy buys crates of nerve gas, that's none of your business?

Francesca and Thatcher are observing the interview through the one-way window.

FRANCESCA: Look at him. Incredible, isn't he?
THATCHER: He's huge. I'd say at least four hundred —
FRANCESCA: No, not him. Fraser. Look at him.

The guys have seated Blake at the table.

WELSH: Nerve gas can kill thousands of people. You know how many years you're going to do for killing thousands of people?
KOWALSKI: You know how many times they can execute you?

Back in the observation room.

FRANCESCA: He was born on the tundra. I mean, that's where he belongs. You'll kill him if you take him to Toronto.
THATCHER: That's a bit drastic, don't you think?
FRANCESCA: Look, I've been to Toronto, okay? Trust me — nothing can survive there. Look at him. I mean really look at him.

The guys are moving around the interview room, and as luck would have it, Fraser has come right over to the window and is looking in what, from his side, is a mirror. He looks troubled. Thatcher really does look at him.

Francesca is right, but her point would carry a lot more weight if she hadn't been super-excited by the possibility that Fraser would be promoted and run the consulate. I get that she thinks Toronto is a sterile wasteland, but if Fraser belongs on the tundra, why is she hoping he'll stay in Chicago?

Meanwhile, Fraser is still in mufti (no complaints), and Kowalski is wearing a blue newsboy cap, which, what?

Scene 17

The interview continues.

BLAKE: He's some out of town talent I got hired to ferry around. And I don't know nothing about no gas.
KOWALSKI: Look, pal, you'd better know something about him.
BLAKE: I picked him up at a hotel.
WELSH: Which hotel?
BLAKE: Where I used to work.
KOWALSKI: The California. Let's go.

Fraser twirls his hat; he and Kowalski head out.

Blake is pretty cooperative now that the dust has worn off, I guess.

Scene 18

Fraser and Kowalski are in the lobby at the Hotel California, hanging around and looking for anyone suspicious. A luggage cart goes by Kowalski, and then a guy with a bald spot is walking toward the elevators. Fraser comes quickly in that direction.

KOWALSKI: What?
FRASER: That man. I think I've seen him before. [The elevator door closes before he can reach it.] All right, I'll take the stairs.
KOWALSKI: Hang on. [tosses him his cell phone] Use the phone. I'll call you with floors. [Fraser heads for the stairwell. Kowalski picks up the pay phone and calls his own cell. Fraser is running up the stairs.] Five. Six. Seven. [Kowalski is watching the panel showing where each elevator is.] Eleven. Twelve. You hear me? Fourteen.
FRASER: Clearly, Ray.
KOWALSKI: Fifteen. You're breathing kinda hard. [He smiles.] Twenty. [Fraser leaves his hat at the fire door on the 20th floor.] Twenty-one, twenty-two . . . twenty-four. That's it, Fraser. Twenty-four. I'm on my way.

Please identify another reason for Kowalski to observe (in that tone, as well) that Fraser is breathing hard into the phone. I'll wait.

Scene 19

Fraser comes into the hotel hallway from the stairwell door on the 24th floor. He sees the guy he's been tailing go into a room. Some other people are in the hallway as well. Kowalski gets off the elevator and steps down the hallway until he sees Fraser come around the corner from behind the elevator lobby. Fraser gestures over his shoulder. They speak very quietly.

FRASER: Twenty-four-oh-nine.
KOWALSKI: You're sure this is the guy? You barely saw him.
FRASER: Positive.
KOWALSKI: [knocks on the door, speaks in a high falsetto] Housekeeping.

The door opens. Ray Vecchio is there. He is wearing a thin moustache. Fraser is delighted to see him.

FRASER: Ray!
KOWALSKI: [looks at Fraser] Ray?
FRASER: Ray Vecchio.
KOWALSKI: Ray Vecchio?

Vecchio's eyes dart, alarmed, back and forth between Kowalski and Fraser. He shakes his head very slightly. Muldoon steps up behind him.

FRASER: Oh, dear.

On the one hand: Holy shit, it's Ray Vecchio! I mean, we saw Marciano's name in the opening credits, so we were expecting to see him at some point, but here he is! Holy shit!

On the other hand: Fraser, what the fuck, bro, you know Vecchio is deep undercover with the Mob and Kowalski is here calling himself Vecchio for Vecchio's own safety; recognizing him and following him up to his room is one thing but why in, you know, THE WORLD would you call him by his name before if you knew it was safe to do so?

Do I know what I would do in a similar situation? No. Is it possible I'm having trouble shaking off all the fanfic I've read in the past 20-odd years and am not successfully coming at this thing as if I were seeing it for the first time? Maybe. I still think this is Some Bullshit with respect to our hero. He's been so careful about keeping Vecchio safe all this time; having him drop that ball now feels like the writers doing him a giant disservice.

Scene 20

In the hotel room, Vecchio has regained his composure and is sneering at Muldoon.

MULDOON: What's going on here? I was under the impression I was going to meet someone called Armando Langoustini from the Iguana family, southwest branch.
VECCHIO: You are.
MULDOON: So who the hell is Ray Vecchio?
VECCHIO: How the hell should I know?
FRASER: Perhaps I could explain.
VECCHIO: Perhaps you should shut up.
MULDOON: Perhaps he should talk. [looks at Fraser] Don't I know you?
FRASER: Not directly, no. I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my —
KOWALSKI: Fraser. Not now.
MULDOON: Fraser?
VECCHIO: Who are you?
KOWALSKI: Who, me?
VECCHIO: Yeah, you.
KOWALSKI: Uh, what do you mean?
VECCHIO: What do they call you?
KOWALSKI: Who?
VECCHIO: Am I still speaking English, here, or what?
GOOMBAH: Yes, boss, beautiful English.

Fraser and Kowalski are sitting on the hotel sofa. Muldoon, sitting on a side table, has had a gun trained on them this whole time. At least three henchmen are also present: the one who spoke and one other guy who seem to work for Vecchio (that is, for Langoustini) and one guy who may work for Muldoon. Now Vecchio pulls a gun also.

VECCHIO: What's it going to be, funny guy?
KOWALSKI: Oh, you mean my name. [Vecchio sneers and nods.] Oh, that. Here. [He hands Vecchio his ID.]
VECCHIO: [reads it] Ray Vecchio, Chicago PD.

Vecchio tosses the wallet back on Kowalski's lap. Muldoon stands up but keeps his gun on Fraser and Kowalski. The thug who assured Vecchio he was speaking beautiful English pulls his gun also. Fraser stays quiet, watching Vecchio and Muldoon, working out what's going on here.

MULDOON: You bring cops to a meet?
VECCHIO: It's your room, pal.
MULDOON: They followed you in.
VECCHIO: Meaning what?
MULDOON: Meaning this whole setup smelled from the get-go. [cocks his gun at Fraser in particular] Who are you, buddy? I've seen you before.
VECCHIO: Yeah, dead guy, get up. [Fraser sighs and starts to get up.] Let's go, get up. [Kowalski gets up, too, looking Vecchio in the eye.] Into the bathroom.

Fraser and Kowalski file into the bathroom at the point of Vecchio's gun. Vecchio closes the door. Muldoon and the three henchmen hear two gunshots and two bodies hitting the floor. Vecchio emerges and closes the door behind him.

VECCHIO: You want to play hardball with the Iguana family, you'd better have hard balls. You still in the game?
MULDOON: I'm always in the game. Okay. Backup location. Nine o'clock. Remember what I said before: I don't wait. [He leaves the room.]
GOOMBAH: [dabbing his own cheek] Hey, boss, you still got a little bit of blood right —
VECCHIO: Yeah, right. Clean up the bodies. [The three henchmen go into the bathroom. Vecchio looks in the mirror and cleans his face with a silk handkerchief. Sounds of surprised struggling come from the bathroom while he speaks.] So long, Armando Langoustini. It's been good knowing you. [He peels off his moustache. Fraser and Kowalski come out of the bathroom. Fraser is massaging his knuckles; Kowalski gives one more kick before he closes the bathroom door. Vecchio rounds on them, and he sounds like himself again.] For a full year I am deep undercover. Never waiting in line, always getting the best tables at the best restaurants. I live in a nine thousand–square foot adobe house at the edge of the desert with a butler named Nero who brings me buttermilk night and day, and everywhere I go, I sit in the back seat of a black limo with my elbow on the gangster lean, and all this — all this! — you wipe out with one word?
FRASER: [beaming] It's good to see you, Ray.
VECCHIO: [tense moment, then he laughs and hugs Fraser] It's good to see you, too, Benny.
KOWALSKI: Oh, "Benny," that's cute.
VECCHIO: You realize you could have got us all killed. [goes and dials the phone]
FRASER: Well, I'm sorry, it's just, I, I was so pleasantly surprised to see you that I —
VECCHIO: Said something completely stupid?
FRASER: Yes.
VECCHIO: [chuckles, then speaks to whoever answered the phone] Yeah, this is three-seventeen, I need a cleanup unit at twenty-four-oh-nine. Right. [hangs up, turns to Kowalski, sighs] So you're me?
KOWALSKI: And you're not you.
VECCHIO: That's a good one. Unlike the clothes.
KOWALSKI: Something up with them?
VECCHIO: Well, nothing, if you're a bag lady. Well, you see, I had a rep. I was a slick dresser.
KOWALSKI: Oh yeah, oh yeah, like a, like a, a style pig, you mean.
VECCHIO: [fake laugh] You kill me, funny guy. I see it's going to take a lot of work to get my reputation back in place.
KOWALSKI: What place was that?
VECCHIO: Well, you see, these three goons are going to get one call each. They're going to call Vegas. And when they do, Armando Langoustini is going to go up like flashpaper. Time to get my old life back.
KOWALSKI: But that's my life.
VECCHIO: I'm afraid it is. [looks at Fraser] What are you grinning about?
FRASER: I knew you too would hit it off.

Fraser claps them both on the back, still beaming like a search light.

Yyyeah. Things that are good: Kowalski pretending not to understand the question so he doesn't have to be the one to tell Ray Vecchio to his face that he, Kowalski, is Ray Vecchio. That's really smart not blowing the guy's cover by giving him time to control his reaction. I like it. Things that are less good: (a) Muldoon recognizing the name Fraser; (b) Kowalski and Vecchio taking this instant dislike to each other. Probably inevitable, but regrettable all the same, and here's Fraser not picking up on it at all, just as it didn't occur to him that it would be dangerous to call Vecchio by his name. "Yes, that was stupid and I did it" doesn't feel to me like a comprehensive awareness of the badness of the situation.

I would have sworn Vecchio had said "this is 317" or "unit 317" or something before and doing so here shows he's back in the Chicago PD persona already, but I can't actually find it anywhere. Hmm. (Oh, I just did find it: In "Chinatown" he calls in and identifies himself as unit 342.) I do know we've heard of the Iguana family before.

Scene 21

Everyone—Fraser, Kowalski, Vecchio, Huey, Dewey, Francesca, Welsh—is in Welsh's office.

VECCHIO: Muldoon has weaponry for sale and a buyer. He just needs somebody to broker the deal. So the ATF places two agents, a Khalil and a Cartwright. Muldoon makes the agents and kills them both, so the ATF suspects an inside leak. They turn to the FBI, who turns to me, Armando Langoustini. The Mob brokers the deal.
WELSH: How does the deal work?
VECCHIO: Two stages. The first is the nerve gas that you stumbled upon, and all we know about the second is that it's big and it's scary.
WELSH: And who's the buyer?
VECCHIO: Again, don't know. Very cagey, very secret. The basic idea was that I would broker the deal, and then we'd nail Muldoon and the buyer.
HUEY: Which doesn't work out —
DEWEY: — because Fraser and Ray show up and blow the whole thing right out of the water.
HUEY: Ba-dum tss. [Dewey looks at him like he's nuts.]
WELSH: So what now?
VECCHIO: The meet with Muldoon is set for nine. My cover should hold until then. That's our window.
WELSH: All right, we've got to move. Huey and Dewey, you run down everything on the location, the whole layout, all right? Francesca, pull everything on Muldoon, any possible connection. Fraser, you run it from your end. All right? We got six hours, let's use them. [Everyone starts to scatter.] Oh, Ray —
VECCHIO AND KOWALSKI: Yeah?
WELSH: No, I mean — oh. Oh, jeez, this is going to be confusing, huh? [to Vecchio] Well, look, you be Ray Vecchio, 'cause you were Ray Vecchio to start with.
VECCHIO: Right.
KOWALSKI: And who am I?
WELSH: Good question. You can be Stanley Kowalski.
VECCHIO: [can't believe this] Stanley Kowalski?
WELSH: His father had a big thing for Marlon Brando.
KOWALSKI: So, um, I just, uh — okay. [He heads out.]
VECCHIO: Later, Stanley. [Kowalski turns around and starts to come back at Vecchio, but Vecchio heads back into the office to talk to Welsh.] Sir.

It makes total sense that Vecchio be Ray Vecchio "because he was Ray Vecchio to start with," that is, because he is Ray Vecchio. But why can't Kowalski be Ray Kowalski? Can we not call people by their last names around here, Welsh? Fraser? Huey? Dewey? Why make him use the name Stanley, which he wasn't using even before he went undercover as Vecchio? What the actual fuck?

Also, though, why is Kowalski so hung up on losing the Vecchio identity? Despite his assertion in scene 20, he has not actually been living Vecchio's life, such as living in his house, being with his family, etc. His own parents came in from Arizona and nobody—not Welsh and not the FBI, though apparently Internal Affairs still doesn't know he's there—said anything like "what the fuck are you doing, you're supposed to be Ray Vecchio" or anything like that. On the other hand, when he was offered a transfer and the opportunity to get his own life and his own name back, he didn't seem terribly enthusiastic about the idea. So: He's been pretty much living his own life; he doesn't seem to be too stressed about what last name he uses as long as he can use the first name Ray, which he's been using since he was a teenager; and he doesn't want to leave the 27th. Is that it? He doesn't want to leave Fraser? Make me see how what's bugging him could be something else, someone? Anyone?

Scene 22

Francesca is speaking to Fraser in a quiet corner of the squad room.

FRANCESCA: What do you, um — what do you think of me?
FRASER: What do I think of you?
FRANCESCA: Okay.
FRASER: I'm not sure what it is you're asking me.
FRANCESCA: [sighs, defeated] Well. I guess that pretty much sums up what you think of me. It's just, it's just, um — when I, when I think of the sheer hours of female tonnage that I have put into this relationship, you know? The, ah, the dedication and, and patience and the night heart-to-heart talks — even if you weren't there — I just kind of, I just kind of hoped or, or thought that, that you would tell me.
FRASER: I'm sorry, Francesca, tell you what?
FRANCESCA: That you're going home.

Item one: THERE IS. NO. RELATIONSHIP. Francesca. Baby girl. Listen. You have been putting all those tons of feminine effort into A DELUSION. DE. LU. SION. He doesn't understand the question! It's been five years! Why, how, what, how, how can this not have got through to you by now?

Item two: The going home thing is news to him, too, can't you see?

Scene 23

Fraser is back in uniform and in Thatcher's office. She is in uniform as well and is making sure her binoculars work.

FRASER: We're going home, sir?
THATCHER: If we're present for the capture of Muldoon, we could virtually guarantee ourselves a transfer. By the way, what is the connection between your mother and Muldoon?
FRASER: Don't you mean my father and Muldoon?
THATCHER: Oh, I was quite sure that Frobisher said your mother, but as I understand it he's been having some digestive problems, so. Do you ever think about it, Fraser?
FRASER: Digestive problems?
THATCHER: Home.
FRASER: Oh, home. Yes.
THATCHER: As do I. The air, the shopping, the cafe lattes. I miss Toronto like you'd miss an old boyfriend you'd discarded.
FRASER: Toronto, sir? Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that when you say "home," well, I — well, I tend to think a little further north.
THATCHER: Oh.

Even if Thatcher had thought Francesca was talking through the back of her neck in scene 16, would she really be surprised to hear Fraser say that home for him is further north than Toronto? I'm going to choose to believe that these scenes should have taken place in the opposite order. Also, can't she get a decent latte in Chicago? (And I'm interested in what Fraser knows about discarding old boyfriends. 🤨)

Scene 24

Vecchio is shifting piles of papers around on his Kowalski's Ray's desk.

KOWALSKI: What the hell do you think you're doing?
VECCHIO: How can you work in this mess?
KOWALSKI: No worse than the piles of crap you left all over the place.
VECCHIO: Yeah, well, my piles of crap were organized.
KOWALSKI: My mess is organized.
VECCHIO: Well, why don't you just organize it someplace else.
KOWALSKI: Okay. [He hurls everything from the top of the desk across the room toward Welsh's office.] Is that good?
VECCHIO: You got a problem?
KOWALSKI: Maybe, just maybe I don't like the way you're sashaying around trying to take over everything.

Francesca comes through the back of the scene, looking at the mess, as the Rays get into it.

VECCHIO: [leans close, speaks softly] This is my desk. It's my life. Now, you get over it.
KOWALSKI: [lets that sit for a moment, then grabs the front of Vecchio's shirt] Well, you get over this. [They start to tussle, but Francesca busts it up immediately.]
FRANCESCA: Oh, okay, okay, all right, let's back off, Kowalski. That's my brother you're talking to, so just stay out of his face. [turns to Vecchio] And you. They give you testosterone shots in the Mob, or what? [She makes little mix-it-up gestures at both of them.] Work!
VECCHIO: Listen, I, ah —
KOWALSKI: Hey — forget about it. [big sigh] It's just, ah — you know, so sudden, I mean — look, I knew you were coming back, I just didn't — think it would be so soon, so —
VECCHIO: I know. I mean, it feels like you died and you didn't get everything done. You know, that's how I felt when I walked out of here.
KOWALSKI: [starts cleaning up the scattered papers] How's Vegas been?
VECCHIO: Anh. Undercover's lonely. [starts helping]
KOWALSKI: That it is.
VECCHIO: Well, you got Fraser.
KOWALSKI: Right.

They both laugh and keep cleaning up the mess.

So the thing is Kowalski has been keeping Vecchio's name warm for him while he's been gone, but everything else he's doing has been really real, right? He really is a detective, those really are his cases, that really is his desk, and Fraser really is his (let's go with) friend — so why he should have to disappear from those roles when Vecchio returns in the same way Vecchio disappeared from them when he left in the first place is not obvious to me. I mean: I can see where looking at giving things up before you're ready to would be stressful (🚨 especially for a guy whose marriage ended before he was ready for it to end; someone evaluate Ray Kowalski for PTSD and do it asap 🚨), but I don't see why he has to give any of this up at all, except the name, and he's already got his own one of those that he's been keeping in the drawer this whole time.

Scene 25

Fraser goes into his office, then into his closet, where Bob is sitting bundled up in an empty cabin. All his things are packed up.

FRASER: Dad, why, why have you, um — why — what —
BOB FRASER: Finish your sentence, son. An incomplete sentence is an early indicator of a softening mind.
FRASER: You were going to leave without telling me? [Bob does a kind of resigned sigh, which Fraser takes as confirmation.] What else haven't you told me?
BOB FRASER: About what specifically?
FRASER: Holloway Muldoon.
BOB FRASER: [angry] Someone's been talking out of turn.
FRASER: Yeah. Your diaries. Buck Frobisher.
BOB FRASER: I've hidden some things from you, son, for your own good. Muldoon was one of them. I want you to believe me when I say the man was truly evil. I just didn't see it. I trusted him. I invited him into our home. I called him my friend. By the time I caught up with him, I wasn't thinking. [Faraway nostalgic music starts playing. (It is the melody of Stan Rogers's "Northwest Passage" in a sort of style of "Fanfare for the Common Man" crossed with "Amazing Grace." I don't know how they do it.)]
FRASER: So he didn't fall into Six Mile Canyon, did he?
BOB FRASER: I killed him. I tried to, anyway. I imagine that's why I'm still here. To try and make up for it in some way.
FRASER: But where are you going now?
BOB FRASER: To tend to something I should have tended to a long time ago. I'll come back. Until I do, stay alert. And get Muldoon. For me, and for your mother. [He kicks down the back wall of the cabin. The entire north country is out there. Fraser can't, even after all this time, believe his eyes.] And, Benton — don't make my mistake. Do it right.

Bob strides out into the snow. The view of him widens into a letterboxed film format.

There's more to this Muldoon thing than we know yet, clearly. Bob wants Fraser to get Muldoon for his mother? Uh-oh . . .

Scene 26

The letterboxed view of Bob walking out into the snow winks out like the picture on an old TV. Fraser and Diefenbaker are in the car with Vecchio waiting for the rescheduled Muldoon meeting.

VECCHIO: You know, Benny, the desert's okay, and Nero does up a great buttermilk, but this is the stuff I miss.
FRASER: Good old times, huh?
VECCHIO: Yeah. Remember that time you locked us in that vault?
FRASER: [chuckles] Yeah. And the water kept rising until we, we almost drowned?
VECCHIO: Yeah. You know what I just said about missing all this?
FRASER: Mm-hmm.
VECCHIO: Yeah, forget I ever said it.
FRASER: Understood.

Kowalski is in the car with Thatcher.

KOWALSKI: You ever feel like you don't know who you are? Like if you weren't around somebody, or that somebody wasn't around you, that you wouldn't be you? Or at least not the, the, the you that you think you are? You know, you ever — you ever feel like that?
THATCHER: Never.
KOWALSKI: Me neither.

💔

I mean. See above re: Kowalski's divorce, because do we think his present feeling—that if he isn't The Guy Who Hangs Around With Fraser, he doesn't know who he is—is the first time he's felt this way? I don't. Which means, taking the last part first, (b) LIKE I SAID hoo boy does this dude need a psych eval and some therapy soonest and (a) he's in love with Fraser, right? Maybe on the rebound from Stella, but in any event, fitting Fraser into the place in his life where Stella was? Right? How can the show be intending me to think anything else at this (I'm going to say it) juncture?

Scene 27

In the car with Vecchio and Fraser.

VECCHIO: Wish me luck.
FRASER: You don't need it.

Vecchio gets out of the car and heads into the depths of the parking garage. Meanwhile, Huey and Dewey are giggling in the back seat of another car with Welsh in the driver's seat.

DEWEY: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
HUEY: What?
DEWEY: [hissing sound] fshh.
HUEY: [rim shot, cymbal sound] Ba-dum tss.
WELSH: What are you doing?
HUEY: We're practicing.
WELSH: For what? To pass yourselves off as two guys with serious head wounds?
DEWEY: No, the One-Liner. We finally got the club. We're opening up a comedy club.
HUEY: Yeah.
WELSH: Oh, God. God help us all.

Muldoon and a whole bunch of guys are coming through the parking lot heading for the meeting. Welsh makes a coaching gesture for Vecchio. Muldoon and Vecchio are facing each other. Suddenly, everyone hears wailing sirens and a mess of feds speed in.

WELSH: Damn.
KOWALSKI: Damn.
FRASER: Darn.

Everyone hops out of their respective vehicles. Muldoon and his guys start shooting as they run away. At least one fed goes down.

Damn / damn / darn is good. I don't know about Huey and Dewey's comedy club. I find whole sets of one-liners to be very difficult to sit through when the jokes are funny.

Scene 28

Bob Fraser clears the snow off a framed picture of a woman, which is resting on what is presumably a cairn on the grave of his late wife.

BOB FRASER: I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Forgiveness, maybe? I know I should have come here when I was alive. I was too apprehensive. Now I'm dead. But of course there's nothing preventing you from showing up here, Caroline. It's not as though we're not in the same place. At least I hope we still are. I miss you. And I worry about our son. I worry that I haven't told him. Not everything. And now he'll find out on his own. I hope he's all right.

It's not for me to say for sure, but a white man using an inuksuk as a grave marker strikes me as appropriative in a way I don't love. Couldn't he have erected a heap of rocks in any other shape?

The picture of Caroline Pinsent Fraser is the head shot of Martha Burns, whom we remember as the Russian woman in "Spy vs. Spy" and also as Paul Gross's wife, so there's that.

Scene 29

In the parking lot, the gun battle continues. Muldoon's guys fire and run back inside wherever they'd come out of. Kowalski returns fire and gestures to Fraser to join him.

KOWALSKI: Fraser!

Kowalski and Fraser run to follow Muldoon's guys. Welsh and Huey and Dewey take cover behind their car; Welsh yells at the feds.

WELSH: What are you guys doing here?
FED: Looking for our guy.
WELSH: That guy was our guy way before he was your guy.

More of Muldoon's guys fire. Welsh and Huey and Dewey pop up and fire back. Kowalski comes around a corner with his gun drawn. Fraser stays behind him. They are in a long, dim corridor with some stairs at the end.

VECCHIO: [appears behind them] Where'd they go? [Kowalski turns around, surprised, his gun pointed at Vecchio, yelling.] Jumpy.
THATCHER: [appears behind him] It's this place. [Vecchio turns around, surprised, yelling.]
KOWALSKI: Jumpy.
FRASER: Corridor branches off.

They creep toward where the corridor branches off. Someone shoots, and the lights flash. Our heroes duck back behind cover; Kowalski pops out again and returns fire. Muldoon's guys are going out an emergency door at the end of the branch. Back in the parking lot, Welsh and Huey and Dewey and the feds and more of Muldoon's guys are just emptying their clips at one another.

WELSH: Give it up!
FED: Give it a chance? [Guys start coming out from behind a van with their hands up.] It's our bust.
WELSH: In a pig's eye.
FED: Our guy set up the meet.
WELSH: He's our guy, and you nearly got him killed.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, there are enough shooters here for everyone to arrest a couple, no need to get grabby.

Scene 30

Four of Muldoon's guys are running up some stairs. They go into whatever building this is at the first floor. Muldoon keeps going higher. Our heroes are coming right up behind them.

VECCHIO: They split up. We'll take these guys.
FRASER: Muldoon's this way, sir.

Vecchio and Kowalski go in the first floor door. Fraser and Thatcher and Diefenbaker follow Muldoon. They go inside on a higher level; Muldoon fires at them and the lights flash. Fraser and Thatcher duck out of the way. In the lower level corridor, lights flash as his guys fire at Kowalski and Vecchio, who also duck out of the way.

VECCHIO: Who are you shooting? Your aim is lousy.
KOWALSKI: I need my glasses.
VECCHIO: Ah, forget it. Let's go.

Vecchio and Kowalski come back out shooting. Muldoon is still shooting at Fraser and Thatcher, but he runs out of ammunition.

MULDOON: Damn.

He runs up a staircase. Downstairs, his guys are still firing at Kowalski and Vecchio, who are still coming at them, still firing themselves. Thatcher and Fraser run to the foot of the staircase Muldoon just went up.

THATCHER: We don't have to go, you know.
FRASER: Up these stairs?
THATCHER: No. To Toronto. I mean, if, if you don't — we could go somewhere else.
FRASER: Understood. Shall we?
THATCHER: Yes.

They run up the stairs. Muldoon is stalking down another hallway. They are following him. He comes out in the landscaping of an amusement park in a mall atrium. Fraser and Thatcher are still following him. Muldoon grabs a guy in a Ferris wheel gondola.

GUY: Hey, get out of here. [Muldoon hurls the guy to the ground.]
GUY'S KID: Dad, Dad, Dad! Daddy!

Other people hear the kid yelling for his dad and look, realizing something is wrong. The kid is trying to climb out of the gondola to get to his dad; Muldoon climbs in and throws the kid out too. The dad catches him. Thatcher and Fraser come in through the landscaping. People are concerned. A little steam train ride comes in on a track; Kowalski and Vecchio walk in behind it. Fraser and Thatcher jump on an empty Ferris wheel gondola. Someone else starts shooting; Kowalski and Vecchio flinch but immediately start to return fire. All the amusement park patrons, of course, start screaming and hit the floor or flee, pulling their children to safety. Vecchio and Kowalski duck back into the landscaping Fraser and Thatcher had come out of.

VECCHIO: How's those glasses coming?
KOWALSKI: I got 'em. They were stuck in the lining of my coat.

People are still running away with their kids. Kowalski puts his glasses on. He and Vecchio start wading through the water feature to try to outflank the bad guys. Kowalski shoots one of Muldoon's guys, who sprawls back over the little steam train car. The gun battle continues as Fraser and Thatcher speak to Muldoon from their gondola opposite his.

FRASER: Surrender, Muldoon. Your ammunition is spent. You have nowhere to go.
MULDOON: [waving what looks like a thermos] I still have this nerve gas, Benton.
FRASER: You recognize me?
MULDOON: Something twigged in that hotel room. Made me think of your father. And you know what? He didn't get me, and I don't believe you will either.
FRASER: You know I'll never give up.
MULDOON: Well, that would make two members of your family that I've killed, then. [Fraser glares at him.] Oh, your father didn't tell you? Ha. That's negligent parenting, that is. Your father wanted to arrest me, but I had this shotgun. An ugly affair passed down from an uncle. Ha ha. Your mother was a pretty woman, Benton, but when I shot her, she dropped like a big old sack of potatoes.

So I think that's all the details in place, then. Muldoon was a family friend because he was a gifted trapper and guide, but he was also a criminal (which, by the way, means that's at least two generations of Frasers who have bad track records of trusting people they shouldn't: Gerrard, Victoria, Lady Shoes, Maggie [briefly], Muldoon); Bob wanted to arrest him for the animal trafficking; and Muldoon shot Caroline for that reason. Doesn't entirely make sense, though, does it? Did he think killing Bob's wife was going to make Bob less interested in arresting him? I suppose if Bob was there when Muldoon did it, it might have bought him some time? (I mean, in the event, it seems to have bought him three weeks, doesn't it, although when Bob shaved his beard and got his shit together he'd have gone after Muldoon with a renewed fervor.)

Ben Fraser was six when Muldoon shot Caroline. I assume if he'd been there and seen it he'd have remembered? He has memories of Muldoon but no knowledge of his connection with his mother's death, which (a) is a pretty damning indictment of every adult in his life who knew the truth, and I'm including Frobisher and the grandparents as well as Bob, and (b) kind of has to mean he was somewhere else (and I don't mean somewhere else in the house) at the time. Could have been at school, I suppose. (But I mean seriously. In a community of the size they apparently tended to live in, it would have taken 45 minutes or less for everyone who had ever met them to have said or heard "Did you hear, Holloway Muldoon shot Caroline Fraser and when Bob comes to his senses he's going to kill him." Maybe that's why the grandparents moved to Alert? Can't get further away from buzz you don't want your grandson to hear than the literal end of the earth.)

Anyway. I assume they timed this scene on purpose so that when Fraser says "your ammunition is spent," etc., he and Thatcher are rising and looking down at Muldoon from a superior position on the wheel, but when Muldoon says "she dropped like a big old sack of potatoes," Fraser is looking up at him from the absolute lowest possible position on the wheel of fortune. Since almost the first time we met Benton Fraser I've been saying how he (that is, Paul Gross) does nice reaction work. That continues to be true here. I can believe what I'm looking at right here is a grown man who is experiencing this event as if he were still six years old.

(Speaking of evaluating someone for PTSD, am I right?)

Scene 31

Vecchio and Kowalski are still exchanging fire with Muldoon's guys. They duck behind the water feature.

VECCHIO: Nice shot.
KOWALSKI: Thanks.
VECCHIO: Go.
KOWALSKI: What?
VECCHIO: You want me to go?
KOWALSKI: No, no, I can go.
VECCHIO: Well, go!

They get up again and resume firing, charging through the water feature, Kowalski in the lead. Muldoon's three remaining guys are retreating, returning fire. Kowalski hits another guy, who goes down into the water. On the Ferris wheel, Muldoon has set a timer on his thermos, which is actually two canisters of nerve gas wired together with a detonator.

MULDOON: Sixty seconds. You've got sixty seconds, and then the nerve gas blows.

He balances the bomb on a cross bar of the Ferris wheel. Fraser and Thatcher climb across the supports to get to it. Muldoon climbs off and over a handrail onto an upper level walkway of the shopping mall. His two remaining guys are running by.

MULDOON: Give me your gun! Give it to me!

The guy gives Muldoon his gun. Muldoon goes one way; the two guys go the other way. Kowalski and Vecchio are right behind all of them.

VECCHIO: How the hell did we ever work this with Fraser?
KOWALSKI: Don't know. Go.

Vecchio follows Muldoon. Kowalski follows the two guys. Fraser and Thatcher have reached the bomb.

FRASER: We're going to have to bridge this contact and cut these two wires while upside down.
THATCHER: Thirty-five seconds. [pulling a knife out of her jacket] Let's synchronize our breathing.
FRASER: Right. [He too takes out a knife and unfolds it. He takes a couple of deep breaths. They are indeed upside down.] Ready? [She nods.] One.

He starts reaching toward the bomb. Vecchio comes around a corner. He can see Muldoon through some potted trees. Muldoon doesn't see him; Vecchio follows Muldoon's line of sight.

THATCHER: Two.

Muldoon is aiming at Fraser.

FRASER: Three.

Fraser and Thatcher cut their respective wires at the same time. The timer is disabled. Thatcher exhales in relief. Vecchio runs for Muldoon. He doesn't have time to tackle him; all he can do is mess up his shot. Muldoon fires. Fraser looks. Muldoon realizes he's missed his chance to shoot Fraser. He jumps onto the carousel and lets it carry him away. Fraser, hanging from the Ferris wheel, sees Vecchio collapse, shot. He is horror-struck.

It's a good face, Fraser's "holy shit" face.

When Muldoon sets the bomb down and the timer shows 00:58, the time on the DVD is 40:20. Thatcher says "35 seconds" at 40:46, so I'll buy that. They have until 41:18. They disable the bomb at 41:15, and I have successfully hit the pause button at the exact right time to learn that at the moment before they cut the wires, the timer shows 00:08, not 00:03, but still, this is the closest to a legit countdown we've seen yet on this show, isn't it?

Scene 32

Fraser is pacing in a hospital hallway. Kowalski is sitting on a chair in the waiting room. Music cue: "Full of Grace" by Sarah McLachlan. Francesca comes out of a room.

The winter here's cold and bitter
It's chilled us to the bone

FRANCESCA: Ah, they don't really know whether, um — I mean, it's still — it's still in him, so, ah — you can go in and see him if you want, but he's still out. [She sniffs and goes to sit down next to Kowalski.]

We haven't seen the sun for weeks
Too long too far from home

FRASER: [before he goes in] Francesca. [She comes back.] I've been thinking about what you said about our, ah — and I, ah — I know that I don't often say — um — I mean. I'm not particularly skilled at expressing —

I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low

KOWALSKI: Frannie, he likes you.

And oh, darkness, I feel like letting go

FRANCESCA: I know. [But she knows he doesn't like her the way she likes him.]
FRASER: I'm glad.

If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place

She pats his face and walks away. He turns to go into Vecchio's room. Kowalski sighs and leans back against the wall.

I know I can love you much better than this

Fraser looks at Vecchio lying unconscious in the hospital bed.

BOB FRASER: So you found out, son.

Full of grace

FRASER: Why didn't you tell me?
BOB FRASER: It seems misguided now, but you were so young at the time. Just a young boy. I was full of rage. I didn't want to pass that to you. I wanted to protect you.

Full of grace, my love
It's better this way, I say

FRASER: He killed my mother. I would have done the same as you.

Haven't seen this place before

BOB FRASER: I hope not, Ben. I hope you never get a chance to find out.
VECCHIO: Still talking to yourself, Benny?
FRASER: Ray.

Where everything we say and do
Hurts us all the more

VECCHIO: It's just a flesh wound. You know, I've been waiting all my life to say that. It's not as much fun as I thought it would be. Just like old times, huh?

It's just that we stayed too long
In the same old sickly skin

FRASER: Unhappily, yes.
VECCHIO: Do you Mounties still always get your man?
FRASER: We try to.
VECCHIO: Go get him, Benny.

I'm pulled down by the undertow
Never thought I could feel so low

In the waiting room, Kowalski's phone rings.

And oh, darkness, I feel like letting go

KOWALSKI: Yeah. Yeah. [He hands the phone to Fraser as he emerges from Vecchio's room.] It's for you.
FRASER: Yes. I see. Right. Thank you kindly. [He closes the phone and speaks to Kowalski.] That was Constable Turnbull. Frobisher has questioned some of Muldoon's known associates, and apparently whenever he's in this vicinity he uses a small airstrip known as Trumbull Field.
KOWALSKI: [shrugs] So — what, we still partners?
FRASER: If you'll have me.

Kowalski nods down the hall, and he and Fraser head out to leave the hospital.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

This particular McLachlan lyric is bang on the nose, more so I think than any other needle drop we've had in the show all these years (possibly excepting "Superman's Song" in the pilot), but you know, I'm not even mad about it.

Okay okay. Legit question: Where are the rest of the Vecchios? Blah blah blah actors not available, but the man is shot and Francesca is the only family member visiting him in the goddamn ICU? Fuck it (I mean, see above re my refusal to live in a world where Sam Seaborn wasn't at Leo McGarry's funeral; this is the same sort of thing): I'm going to choose to assume they've been, and Mrs. Vecchio is overwhelmed with the stress and anxiety, so Maria and Francesca divide them up: Maria is home with Ma and Francesca is at the hospital with Ray. Maybe after dinner they'll swap.

I think Fraser and Bob are talking about two different things in their brief conversation here? I think when Fraser says "I'd have done the same as you" he means "I'd have chased the man who killed my mother to the ends of the earth and killed him with my own hands if I'd known it was him," and I think when Bob says "I hope you never get a chance to find out" he means "I hope you never have to make a decision about precisely how much of this sort of unbearable truth you have to keep from your child." Also, Pinsent did the whole scene with tears standing in his eyes. Nice work.

Scene 33

On the runway at Trumbull Field, a small propeller plane is getting ready to depart.

PILOT: Chicago ground control, whiskey tango bravo one niner requesting taxi clearance for runway three.

Muldoon is on the plane, also wearing a headset. He hears a thump on the fuselage.

MULDOON: What the hell was that?
PILOT: Metal fatigue.

The plane taxis and speeds up. The noise was not metal fatigue; Fraser and Kowalski are clinging to the wing.

FRASER: Are you all right?
KOWALSKI: You know, Fraser, being your partner has certain drawbacks.
FRASER: Such as?

The plane lifts off. Caption: To be continued . . .

The title, of course, refers to The Call of the Wild, a 1903 novel about a dog who eventually hears the call and rejoins the wolves of the north. Except for the way Fraser feels nostalgic for the Yukon, I don't think this episode has anything in common with the book.

Cumulative body count: At least 44; I'm counting only people we know for sure are dead, that is, the body in the reservoir, the body in the car, and the three Mounties who were gassed, but not anyone who gets shot from there on, because if Vecchio didn't die, maybe they didn't either.
Red uniform: When he's in the station and on the final stakeout and its aftermath, but not fishing on the reservoir and not in the nighttime lurking scenes.

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