return to due South: season 3 episode 10 "Perfect Strangers"

[fox]

Perfect Strangers
air date November 30, 1997

Scene 1

Kowalski and Fraser are driving in the city.

KOWALSKI: He's one of those, ah, hard luck cases. He bets on a horse, horse dies. He buys horse meat, meat's bad. But his information's good, so I slip him fifty bucks now and then.
FRASER: You say hard luck. Do you mean hard luck as in —
KOWALSKI: Hard luck as in he wasn't fortunate enough to be born in an igloo five thousand miles away without TV, water, or, ah, you know, drive through. [He parks the car.]
FRASER: What do you mean by that, Ray?
KOWALSKI: I'm being ironical.
FRASER: Ah.
KOWALSKI: [getting out] Look, you better wait in the car, 'cause, ah, Sonny won't talk to me if you're there.
FRASER: Understood.
KOWALSKI: You want the radio?
FRASER: No, that's all right. I've got a Mahler symphony I'd like to listen to.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, well, you need the keys.
FRASER: Well, there's no need, Ray. I have the score right here.

Kowalski heads off to his meet. Fraser opens a piano score and starts conducting the symphony he can hear in his head.

Neither I nor ellen_fremedon nor my husband with his music degree can definitively identify what Fraser is listening to, and the hum-a-few-bars search engines are no help, either, so the best I can work out is that it might be Mahler's symphony no. 4? Which apparently everyone hated in Mahler's lifetime. That sounds about right for this show, anyway.

Scene 2

Kowalski goes into a bar where a whole different style of twangy music is playing. Couple of guys are playing pool; Kowalski sits down to wait, and one of the pool guys sees he's there and gives him a nod. The guy shooting solids wins the game, and the guy shooting stripes shakes his head and starts to come over to talk to Kowalski.

SOLIDS: Pay up, buddy.
STRIPES: I don't have any money.
SOLIDS: What do you mean, you don't have any money?
STRIPES: I don't have any money.
SOLIDS: You don't have ten bucks?
STRIPES: Relax. [pushes him out of the way, sits down with Kowalski, shakes his hand] So how's it going, man?
KOWALSKI: It's good. Hey, you want a beer?
STRIPES: Yeah, thanks.
KOWALSKI: Two beers? [A waitress gives them two beers she happens to have had on her tray as she was going by.] That's yours. [to the waitress] Thanks. [to Stripes] So what happened to that job at the, ah, video store?
STRIPES: That guy was a jerk, man. I mean, I appreciate your help and all, but that guy was a jerk. My mother dies, he wouldn't give me a week off.
KOWALSKI: Sonny, your mother died a year ago.
STRIPES (SONNY): Grief has its own time frame. You can't rush it.
KOWALSKI: Look, your parole officer know that you're living upstairs here?
SONNY: No. It's just temporary. Irene's pregnant, right? We get our first welfare check, we're movin' in together. Gonna be a nice place.
KOWALSKI: That's great. That's good. I mean that. So, you got anything for me?
SONNY: Mm-hmm. That container of computers that got lifted off the docks last week? I know one of the guys —
KOWALSKI: You know one of the guys?
SONNY: I know a guy who knows one of the guys.
KOWALSKI: All right. That's more like it.

Kowalski slips Sonny some cash. Solids sees him do it and comes over and grabs at it.

SONNY: Hey!
SOLIDS: Hey, give me my money! [They struggle.]
KOWALSKI: Hey, hey, hey! Break it up, break it up, break it up! [to Solids] Take a walk. [to Sonny] You sit down.
SOLIDS: You still owe me money.
SONNY: He hustled me.
KOWALSKI: Oh, yeah? Well, drop it. Let it go.
SONNY: I got to go to the can.

Sonny and Solids glare at each other as Sonny goes to the gents', and then Solids glares at Kowalski.

I don't know, Sonny seems like one of these guys who struggles to take responsibility for his own shit. Everything is always someone else's fault. It's nice of Kowalski to take care of him, though, and I appreciate Kowalski not letting the parole officer know Sonny's living someplace he shouldn't be allowed to.

Scene 3

In the car, Fraser is still listening to What We've Decided Is Mahler's 4th. Diefenbaker whines, and the music in Fraser's head sags to a stop.

FRASER: Well, what do you expect? You eat an entire pizza and drink a gallon of water, you will have to pee ten times an hour. The concept is called cause and effect. [He gets out of the car and lets Diefenbaker out after him. Diefenbaker barks.] Although I realize it may be somewhat difficult for you to grasp, it's something you should try to come to grips with. It'll make life a whole lot simpler.

He waits for Diefenbaker to sniff at some garbage.

Scene 4

In the bar, Kowalski realizes Sonny's been gone a minute. He looks around and doesn't see Solids either. He heads back to the men's room and opens the door just as Solids comes running out, knocking him down. Solids runs through the bar, knocking a tray out of a waitress's hand, and then out the door, knocking Fraser down onto Diefenbaker. Diefenbaker whines.

FRASER: I'm sorry, boy. Get Ray.

Fraser takes off after Solids. Diefenbaker barks. Music cue: "Heroic Doses" by Glueleg. In the men's room, Ray finds Sonny lying on the floor with a knife in his belly.

The reason I'm shaking
The ocean breaking
A town forsaken
Cut out your talking

Solids runs around a corner and up a fire escape. Fraser chases him.

The moves you're making
A billion gawking
The fish you're baiting
Again

Solids jumps from one fire escape to another, up onto a roof, and then from one roof to another. Fraser chases him.

Systematic
And somehow tragic
Put on your face and
Perform your magic

Solids runs through where a crew is working on a roof.

Scratch their backs and
Back they're scratching
Make sure you catch them
Again

He sees that Fraser is following him. He jumps down onto another fire escape and starts to run. Fraser grabs the roofers' tarp and jumps off the roof, using it as a parachute and kicking Solids to the ground just as he lands. The roofers are impressed.

SOLIDS: [as Fraser arrests him] Hey, I didn't do nothing!

Meanwhile, patrol cars arrive at the bar, sirens blaring. Diefenbaker waves hello. Kowalski comes out as the uniforms run toward the door.

KOWALSKI: He's inside. Nobody goes in or out.
FRASER: Ray?

Fraser arrives with Solids, whom Kowalski grabs and throws onto a garbage can.

SOLIDS: Ow!
KOWALSKI: [flinging him onto the roof of the car] Shut up.
SOLIDS: Hey!
KOWALSKI: [shoves him into the back of the patrol car] Get in there.

The song lyrics we didn't hear were these:

The river dying
Despite your triumph
Upon a sinner
Reward your lying
You sit, fixated
Alone, berated
Adjust your statement
Again

The ends won't fit now
Condemn you out loud
Big talk you told
Decayed, eroded
The grim sensation
Your black creation
Your black foundation
Again

The rooftop chase, especially interrupting the work crew's lunch, was a nice callback to how it used to be.

Credits roll.

Paul Gross
Callum Keith Rennie
Beau Starr
Camilla Scott
Tony Craig | Tom Melissis
Ramona Milano
and Gordon Pinsent as Fraser Sr.

(plus Draco the dog)

Dean McDermott, Scott Hylands, Shawn Alex Thompson, Cedric Smith, Kenneth McGregor, Mackenzie Gray

Scene 5

Huey and Dewey have joined the team at the bar.

DEWEY: All yours, Al. [An EMT, apparently named Al, wheels Sonny out on a stretcher.] Photo guys are done. Print guys are moving in now.
KOWALSKI: This was in his hand. [gives something to Fraser]
DEWEY: Hey, what's that?
FRASER: [looking at it; it's a pin] OTT Club.
KOWALSKI: [thinks for a moment] Over the top.
FRASER: [nods] Commercial airlines hand these out to their flight crews. This one would commemorate one hundred trips over the pole. Top of the world. You know, Ray, judging from the maple leaves inset in the filigree, I'd say this was a Canadian airline.
KOWALSKI: Canadian.
FRASER: Airline.
KOWALSKI: Filigree.
FRASER: Mm-hmm.

I like that Kowalski figures out what "OTT" means. I don't especially care for how he and Fraser both put their grubby hands all over this evidence.

We assume Sonny is not dead, because if he were they'd have covered his face before taking him away, right? Except if he's not dead wouldn't they be in a lot more of a hurry? Hmm.

Scene 6

In the interview room, Solids is looking at the pin, which is now in an evidence bag.

SOLIDS: I never seen it before. I told you, I don't even know what it is.
KOWALSKI: Ever been to Canada, George?
SOLIDS (GEORGE): Canada? Come on, man. I'm not even allowed out of the state. [Kowalski swipes the evidence bag out of his hand.] Look, I told you already. I went to the can and there he was on the floor. I didn't do it. He was already there. Is he going to be okay?
KOWALSKI: No. He's dead.
GEORGE: Dead. The guy's dead?
KOWALSKI: Yeah. Real dead. You guys were arguing about money.
GEORGE: Money? Ten bucks! Why would I kill somebody for ten bucks?
KOWALSKI: You and I both know it is never about the money. It is about who's right, who's on top, who's Mr. Big, right?

George can't believe it.

Okay, I guess Sonny didn't make it after all. Why is Kowalski doing this interview by himself?

Scene 7

In Welsh's office, Welsh is frustrated talking to Francesca.

WELSH: Enough, enough. Just go find Ray. Now.
FRANCESCA: I'll talk to you when your superego is in more control of your id. [She leaves the office and meets Fraser in the squad room.] Hi, Fraser.
FRASER: Ah, Francesca. [Diefenbaker whimpers.]
FRANCESCA: What's with him?
FRASER: [Diefenbaker continues to whine.] I fell on him. I mean, I think he was — well, I think he was startled more than he was actually hurt. But apparently I haven't been paying enough attention to him. [whispers] You know, the fact is, I think it's largely psychosomatic, so I'm just trying to ignore it.
FRANCESCA: Really? [Diefenbaker barks.] See, I, I never knew that dogs were so psychological. Have you ever heard of Pamela's dog?
FRASER: No, I'm afraid not.
FRANCESCA: Oh, really? Yeah, she's — oh, yeah, she's famous. She drooled. I'm, I'm taking a psychology course. [shows him her textbook]
FRASER: Oh, perhaps you mean Pavlov's dog.

Diefenbaker whines and lies down on the floor, despondent.

❤️ Diefenbaker ❤️

Francesca would have known it wasn't Pamela's dog if she'd read the textbook. But at least she's paying attention in class? Or trying to?

I have no idea what's going on with Welsh's id and I'm not sure I want to.

Scene 8

In the interview room, Kowalski is still going at George.

GEORGE: Look, I told you I didn't do it.
KOWALSKI: What about your fingerprints all over the knife?
GEORGE: I told you, I was trying to pull it out.
KOWALSKI: Oh, pull it out, not push it in, right? [Someone knocks on the door.] What?!
FRANCESCA: [coming in quietly] The lieutenant wants to see you.
KOWALSKI: Okay! Thank you! [He stomps out of the room and over to Welsh's office. Fraser and Diefenbaker are already there.] What the hell's going on? I'm in the middle of a —
WELSH: Have a seat. Go ahead, Constable.

Fraser is at a TV/VCR on a video cart. He presses play.

A foggy moonlit street. Music cue: "Memorare" by the Benedictine monks of Saint-Benoît-du-Lac.

MONKS: ♫ Memorare ♫

KOWALSKI: What the hell is this?
WELSH: Quiet, Detective.

MONKS: ♫ O piissima virgo Maria ♫

A woman gets out of a taxi.

KOWALSKI: What is this?
WELSH: Patience, Detective. Let it unfold.

In the rearview mirror, the taxi driver watches the woman walking away.

MONKS: ♫ Non esse auditum a saeculo ♫

FRASER: We think she knew the driver.

The driver gets out of the cab, stomps out his cigarette, and follows the woman.

MONKS: ♫ Quemquam ad tua currentem praesidia ♫

The woman is walking with a bag of groceries. She is wearing an airline uniform. She begins to realize the taxi driver is following her.

KOWALSKI: Hey, wait a minute. A stewardess. Does this have anything to do with that over the top pin?
WELSH: Shh! Just watch it, Detective.

The cab driver catches up with the flight attendant and grabs her around the neck from behind. She struggles and drops her groceries.

MONKS: ♫ Tua implorantem auxilia, tua petentem suffragia ♫ —

WELSH: That's it. [Fraser stops the video.]
KOWALSKI: That's what?
FRASER: It's an RCMP recreation of a crime that took place in Toronto two days ago.
KOWALSKI: That's a police recreation?
FRASER: It's interesting, isn't it? The government funding of the arts in Canada produced a glut of filmmakers at the same time as American domination of Canadian cinemas left these enthusiastic young artists with very few arenas in which to ply their craft.
WELSH: That's a human tragedy, Constable. [Fraser nods.] Toronto police have given us a positive ID on the number on the pin. It belongs to the victim in that crime there, Chantal Bowman. Age twenty-six. Has been dead for thirty-six hours. Homicide. Still unsolved.
KOWALSKI: Okay. So a stewardess in Canada —
FRASER: A flight attendant.
KOWALSKI: — a waitress in the sky in Canada is killed. Her pin shows up in the hands of a loser like Sonny in the south side of Chicago in this dump? What is the deal?
WELSH: Well, that's why we have detectives, Detective. You are going to figure out that troublesome problem for us.
KOWALSKI: How?

Fraser's beating the drum about cultural protectionism again. Those are some production values, eh? To be able to film that whole thing in less than two days (and get a hard copy to Chicago in just a couple of hours)? I think I'm calling shenanigans on the timeline ("still unsolved"? they've been at it for a day and a half, bro), but I'll buy the rest of it for a dollar. Also, Fraser is right that "flight attendant" is more correct than "stewardess." It could be argued that the correct terminology isn't important in this precise moment, but it could also be argued that it's as well to develop better habits and stick to them, and I'm with the second argument, so I'm on Fraser's nit-picking side, for once.

Oh, the monks! The monks are singing a Marian prayer: "Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession —" — and then the tape ends. The rest of it goes — esse derelictum. Ego tali animatus confidentia, ad te, Virgo Virginum, Mater, curro, ad te venio, coram te gemens peccator assisto. Noli, Mater Verbi, verba mea despicere; sed audi propitia et exaudi. Amen. "— was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen."

Scene 9

Fraser and Kowalski are in Toronto Pearson International Airport.

AIRPORT PA: Thank you for your attention. Merci de votre attention.
KOWALSKI: So this, ah, French-English thing. They do it all the time?
FRASER: Yes.
KOWALSKI: You mean, like, uh, hello, allo, what's happening, que pasa? I mean, wow, it's going to take us twice as long to get anything done.
FRASER: Well, it's not in everyday speech, Ray. It's just in official announcements and the like.
KOWALSKI: How many of the French live in Toronto?
FRASER: Actually, very few. Most of the non-English population is composed of Italian, Portuguese, and Chinese.
KOWALSKI: They speak French?
FRASER: Not really, no.
KOWALSKI: Then, then why the —
FRASER: Well, it's kind of a complex issue, Ray. You know, suffice it to say that we adopted a policy of multiculturalism as opposed to the melting pot of your American model. You know, it might be instructive, and just a little bit of fun, too, to pick up a copy of the Royal Commission's report on the official bilingualism on our way downtown.
KOWALSKI: A little bit of fun, eh?
FRASER: Could be fun.

They leave the airport. Before they reach the taxi stand, a guy passing by sees a newspaper on the ground, picks it up, and tosses it in the bin. Kowalski is uncomfortable. Fraser nods.

FRASER: I'll hail a cab.
KOWALSKI: It's clean. [looks around] Too clean.

Before he can hail a cab, some Japanese tourists pull Fraser over to their group.

FRASER: A photograph? I'd be honored.

Fraser stands with the tourists to get his picture taken. Kowalski steps up to the taxi stand instead. A cab pulls up, and two guys, both of whom were there before Kowalski, reach for the door at the same moment.

FIRST GUY: Oh. Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
SECOND GUY: No, no, no, my mistake. Are you in a hurry?
FIRST GUY: My daughter's recital.
SECOND GUY: Oh, really? How old?
FIRST GUY: Six.
SECOND GUY: Oh, that's such a great age.
FIRST GUY: Yeah.
SECOND GUY: Let me give you a hand here. Do you want —
FIRST GUY: Oh —
SECOND GUY: No, go ahead. No, no, you take it, absolutely.

The second guy holds the back door of the cab for the six-year-old's dad. Kowalski can't stand it. He steps out into the road and hails the next cab with his badge.

Field trip!

Okay so the taxi stand thing is obviously a call back to the pilot, and a hilarious one. But I have a hard time being bothered by the Canadian-ness of the two guys arguing over who's not going to take the first cab that pulls up. A couple of Olympics ago, I remember the Canadian figure skaters talking about how they really wanted to do well in the team competition, because there was one guy on their team (maybe one of their men's singles skaters?) who they all just loved, and he'd been skating forever, and this was probably his last Olympics, and the team event was his best shot at a medal, and they all just really wanted to do everything they collectively could to get him one, and you guys, it was the most Canadian thing I had ever heard in my life. (I am also reminded of a time I heard about a contest to complete the phrase "as Canadian as [ ]," by analogy with "as American as apple pie" and similar, and the winning entry was ". . . possible, under the circumstances." Perfect.)

Meanwhile, I also have a hard time being bothered by the extreme stereotype of the Japanese tourists taking their picture with Fraser, because it has happened to me: When my college roommate got married, we were taking pictures by the tidal basin and a large group of Japanese tourists came along and were delighted to have come upon a wedding party in formal dress and insisted on taking pictures with us. It was bizarre and delightful.

That's all about the outdoor part of the scene, isn't it. I don't really give a shit about the indoor part. Mosaic vs. melting pot, Royal Commission brochure, whatever. Kowalski is guessing half French ("allo," which may still be how French speakers answer the telephone) and half Spanish ("que pasa"), and it defies belief that he would seriously think everyone conducts all their personal business in both languages at all times.

Scene 10

Fraser and Kowalski are in a taxi driving past Maple Leaf Gardens. A guy is trying to sell tickets.

SCALPER: Hey, you need Leaf tickets?
KOWALSKI: Leafs suck.
SCALPER: Leafs rule.
KOWALSKI: Hawks rule.
SCALPER: Hawks suck.
KOWALSKI: You suck.
FRASER: Ah, you are bilingual, Ray.

The guy moves on to the next car as they drive off.

This may be my single favorite Ray Kowalski scene that was ever aired. (The Hawks in question are the Blackhawks, Chicago's NHL team, who have somehow not, as far as I've heard, been involved in the name-changing conversations that have sensibly taken place wrt Cleveland baseball and Washington football.)

Scene 11

Fraser and Kowalski get out of the cab at a big red stone building downtown.

KOWALSKI: Ooh, the mothership.

They are shown into a conference room by an older fellow in a blue uniform. A coronation-era portrait of Queen Elizabeth II is on the wall.

BLUE UNIFORM: I was very sorry about your father. He was a good man.
FRASER: Yes, he was.
BLUE UNIFORM: Please, sit down. [All three of them sit at the conference table, and Blue Uniform opens a file.] This is the murdered woman. Chantal Bowman. [He hands them a photo.] We've confirmed that the pin you found at the murder site in Chicago was hers.
KOWALSKI: Uh, we already got somebody in custody for that murder, but we haven't come up with a connection yet.
BLUE UNIFORM: There is another complication. [He passes another photo across the table.]
FRASER: General Bowman.
KOWALSKI: Who's he?
FRASER: He's one of our country's most decorated soldiers. Recently honored by the United Nations for his peacekeeping efforts.
BLUE UNIFORM: He's also the father of the dead girl, and he's sworn to find the killer. We don't want General Bowman to be the second victim of this tragedy.
KOWALSKI: What exactly is it that you want from me?
BLUE UNIFORM: We believe, as does General Bowman, that Ms. Bowman's killer lives in Chicago. We want you to find him before General Bowman does.

On what basis do General Bowman and the RCMP believe the killer lives in Chicago? I mean now that the pin has turned up there that seems like a solid guess, but it sounds like they thought that before the pin was found, right?

Scene 12

Fraser and Kowalski are in Chantal's apartment, which is furnished like a retirement condo in Florida.

HOUSEMATE: Whenever we had layovers in Chicago, she just disappeared. I tried asking her about it, but she was real coy. I know she had a boyfriend, but, um, I never met him.
KOWALSKI: She ever mention a name or describe him in any way?
HOUSEMATE: No. No, but he's older, I know that. And he had a lot of money. That was important to Chantal. He's married, you know, had a wife and three kids, one in college or something. She kept telling me that he was going to tell his wife about he and Chantal real soon, but the timing had to be just right, you know. The usual crap. You know, Chantal, she was becoming, like, umm —
FRASER: Obsessed? Fixated? Single-minded?
HOUSEMATE: Yeah. Well, she told me last week that if he didn't tell his wife about them, she was going to. [She lets them into Chantal's bedroom.] I still can't believe she's gone.
KOWALSKI: [Chantal's bed is covered with teddy bears.] How old was she? Twelve?
FRASER: [picks up a framed picture] Is this her apartment in Chicago?
KOWALSKI: How would you know, uh —
FRASER: Well, it stands to reason, Ray. I mean, he was a married man. They couldn't be seen together.
HOUSEMATE: Yeah. They did have a place.
KOWALSKI: You got an address?
HOUSEMATE: No. But I have the key.

I don't understand the roommate's affect. She says she can't believe Chantal is gone, but she doesn't seem surprised or upset at all, about any of this (except disappointment in "the usual crap" about Chantal's older boyfriend not leaving his wife for her). She's even delighted that Fraser guesses "obsessed, fixated, single-minded" correctly and that she's able to give them the key to Chantal's place in Chicago. Something is not right about this young woman.

Scene 13

Back in Chicago, a guy on rollerblades on the sidewalk bumps into a guy walking. They fight. Fraser and Kowalski are in a taxi driving by.

KOWALSKI: Home again, home again, jiggity-jig.
FRASER: [to cab driver] We'll be right back.
KOWALSKI: [as they both get out of the taxi] Chicago PDQ! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up. Fighting on the street with rollerblades on, what is that? Come on!

Scene 14

In the squad room, Francesca has her feet up on her desk. Kowalski comes in and stops as he walks by.

KOWALSKI: Francesca, what's up with the yellow thingamajobby?
FRANCESCA: [who has affixed her Civilian Aide patches to a bright yellow top; shows him her textbook] The human mind. Did you know that our minds are affected by color? And yellow happens to be a very soothing color.
KOWALSKI: That is so interesting to me. [He drops the book back on her desk and walks away.]
DEWEY: Ray. [hands him something] We found this in Sonny's room. [It is a wanted poster: Chad Maxwell, $5000 reward, wanted for assault and robbery, federal warrant issued Feb 28 1980] Chad Maxwell.
KOWALSKI: Nineteen-eighty?
DEWEY: Yeah, but doesn't he look familiar to you?
KOWALSKI: I wouldn't know this guy if he jumped out of my suit. Who the hell is Chad Maxwell?
DEWEY: St. Louis.
KOWALSKI: Sonny was from St. Louis.
WELSH: [passing by, sees the picture over Kowalski's shoulder] I know that guy.
DEWEY: Yeah, that's what I just said.
FRANCESCA: [walking by, sees the picture over Kowalski's shoulder] Hey, I know that guy.
KOWALSKI: Okay, so you know the guy, you know the guy, and you know the guy. Who the hell is this guy?
DEWEY: He's that guy, you know. That — yeah, you know.
KOWALSKI: [all three of them walk away, leaving him holding the wanted poster] What guy? Francesca, can you phone the St. Louis Police Department, if you're not too busy being yellow, and, uh — [He tacks the poster up on his wall.] — get online.

Get online? In 1997? I'm not sure what Kowalski is asking here. I do like "I wouldn't know this guy if he jumped out of my suit." That's good.

Scene 15

In Thatcher's office, Thatcher is showing Fraser a gizmo.

THATCHER: My friend Nancy in Trade is having a baby. It's a Mister Feed-Me. It preheats the formula and presents it to the baby. You can set it for four, five, six feedings a day. When the buzzer goes, it's time to feed the baby. [She looks very pleased with herself and her purchase.]
FRASER: Hmm.
THATCHER: What?
FRASER: Well, sir, in my experience, although very limited — well, infants tend to tell their mothers when they would like to be fed by crying. I can't imagine that the mother-child bond can be improved upon by technology.
THATCHER: You're right. I'll get her one of those electronic security bracelets. That way she can keep track of it. [She starts repacking the bottle warmer.] So?
FRASER: Our assignment from headquarters is to prevent General Bowman from taking the law into his own hands. On a more personal note, sir, it does feel quite good to be back in the saddle again.
THATCHER: Yes. The bit between the teeth. Two thousand pounds of pulsing horseflesh between your legs.
FRASER: I was speaking metaphorically, sir.
THATCHER: As was I, Constable Fraser. As was I. [He nods.] Dismissed.
FRASER: Sir. [He stops to talk to Diefenbaker, who is lolling on the floor.] Would you please not make me look worse than I already do, thank you? Come on.

They leave Thatcher's office. Diefenbaker has a bandage on his right forepaw.

Apparently (per IMDb, where I was looking for Mahler information and finding none) Draco the dog got on the wrong side of a panther at the zoo during the filming of this episode. Poor buddy.

What does Fraser mean about its feeling good to be back in the saddle? Hasn't he been doing police work? I guess he hasn't really been doing it in his capacity as a Mountie, so maybe that's what he's been missing.

I'm glad Fraser acknowledges that his experience of infants is limited, because I was legit about to wonder what made him such an expert. It is true that babies cry to let us know they're hungry. However, especially if you're formula feeding, you can't necessarily wait until the baby cries to feed them; the whole process of parenting an infant will be pleasanter for everyone if you keep aware (somehow; new parents are often mentally exhausted, so electronic means are not at all wrong!) of how long it's been since you fed the baby and try to anticipate the next feeding, because if you wait to begin even warming the bottle until the baby is crying, by the time you're ready to feed them they may be too upset to eat. This is sometimes represented with wisdom like "crying is a late sign of hunger," but that's a bit crap, because it stands a real risk of making parents (especially those who might have post-partum anxiety, diagnosed or not) worry that they're supposed to be able to anticipate every time the baby is about to be hungry and are doing something wrong or neglectful when they "fail" to do this or—eventually—if the baby cries at all. (Ask me how I know.) Still, as you learn when you have an infant, there's crying and then there's crying, and my point is that if you don't start getting food ready until the baby is already crying, you probably are going to be late to feed them, and feeding a baby who is crying is much more difficult. If you're breastfeeding or chestfeeding you may have the additional signal of your own discomfort when you're engorged that it might be time to feed the baby, but you can't count on that either, because you might feel it too soon or not soon enough or not at all. Timers are great and Fraser should shut the fuck up about the mother-child bond—which he should call the parent-child bond—not being improvable by technology. The technology is there not explicitly to improve anyone's bond but to free up adult brain cells so the adult can focus on the baby. Which might well improve their bond. It might not be what Thatcher's friend Nancy needs! Every family is different! But Fraser can cram it.

Scene 16

At the airport, an older man is queuing at customs. When it's his turn, he steps up to the desk and slaps down an airline ticket and a Canadian passport.

IMMIGRATION OFFICIAL: Welcome to the United States, General. Is your visit business or pleasure?
GENERAL: Neither.

He smiles politely, takes his documents back, and continues through toward the exit.

I can't work out who this dude reminds me of with that half-smile. Is it Viggo Mortenson? (To be clear: This is not Viggo Mortenson and doesn't look like him at all. It's specifically the moment of the stiff slight smile that is ringing a bell with me.)

I think telling an immigration officer your visit is neither business nor pleasure is likely to get you denied entry into the United States these days, but in those long-ago pre-2001 times who knows what a white dude could get away with. Anyway, assuming this general is General Bowman and he's here on the trail of the killers of his daughter, we could call that business, couldn't we? How do we imagine Fraser answered that question when he arrived in Chicago in 1994? (Family business, she concluded ominously.)

Scene 17

Fraser and Kowalski are in the break room getting coffee.

KOWALSKI: Okay, Sonny goes to Toronto, kills Chantal. Then he comes back, gets mugged for ten bucks in Chicago? That's a coincidence, they happen.
FRASER: Yeah, but do you really think that's what happened, Ray?
KOWALSKI: Okay. George flies to Toronto, kills Chantal, then comes back and kills Sonny.
FRASER: Well, why? And, and how would George even know Chantal?
KOWALSKI: I don't know. I do not know. All I know is this: His fingerprints were all over the knife, and he had Sonny's blood all over him.
FRASER: Yeah, but he explained that. [Kowalski's phone rings.]
KOWALSKI: Hang on. [He runs to his desk and picks it up.] Squad room, Vecchio. Yeah, hang on. [He gives Fraser the phone.]
FRASER: Hello, this is Constable Benton Fraser — ah, Turnbull. [He sits on the edge of Kowalski's desk.] Yes. I'll hold.
TV NEWS: And now for sports. Our very own Chad Percy, whose showing at the recent celebrity golf tournament for literacy in Buffalo was just brutal.
PERCY: Oh, ouch. [Fraser notices something about this sports anchor.] Guess your game's starting to rub off on me, Tom. [He and Tom chuckle.] Anyway, folks — [Fraser pulls the wanted poster off the wall and stares at it and the TV.] — last night was a banner night for football in the Windy City as Chicago went head-to-head with San Francisco in their final meeting of the season. [Kowalski sees that Fraser has found something and gets up to look over his shoulder.] Soldier's Field looked more like the killing fields —
KOWALSKI: What?
PERCY: — as Chicago trounced San Francisco —
FRASER: They're the same.
PERCY: — thirty-eight–zip. Most of the action took place in the stands, however —
FRASER: Chad Maxwell; Chad Percy.
PERCY: — as Bears fans made it very difficult for the San Francisco quarterback to call any of his plays.

Aha, so that's where everyone knows the guy from but why they can't put their finger on exactly who he is. (The fact that they've named a smarmy white guy "Chad" is nothing short of brilliant, of course.)

Are we not using the name "Forty-Niners" because that organization wouldn't allow its name to be used? Interesting, if so, that they were able to get "Bears" and "Soldier Field" through (possibly by naming it not quite accurately; it's not "Soldier's Field" or "Soldiers' Field"). Also, wouldn't a sports anchor be likely to use a quarterback's name, even if he also used the team name? ". . . made it very difficult for San Francisco's Bobby Throwsalot to call any of his plays," I mean. So this feels weird. (The Bears didn't play the 49ers in 1997, but never mind.)

Scene 18

Kowalski heads into the news studio.

KOWALSKI: Mr. Percy?
PERCY: Yeah?
KOWALSKI: Detective Vecchio, Chicago PD.
PERCY: Hey, my golf game wasn't that bad.
KOWALSKI: I just want to ask you a couple of questions.
PERCY: Sure. [Kowalski hands him the wanted poster of Chad Maxwell.] Ah, let's just go somewhere more private. [He leads Kowalski into the control room.] Guys, you want to give me a couple of minutes here?
STUDIO TECHS: Sure. [They get up and split.]
PERCY: Thanks.
KOWALSKI: You know Sonny Dunlap?
PERCY: Son of a bitch, I can't believe he did it. Yeah. Yeah, I know Sonny. I've been paying him two hundred dollars a week for the last two years. He wanted to up it to five or he was going to go public. I said the best I can do is two-fifty. He said he was going to think about it, the dumb bastard.
KOWALSKI: When's the last time you saw him?
PERCY: A week ago, maybe Monday or Tuesday. Look, Detective, that poster is seventeen years old. I was hitting the sauce pretty heavy in those days. Yeah. I robbed a liquor store. I don't even remember doing it. I mean, where — okay, where does this leave us now? I mean, there's a statute of limitations on robbery, isn't there?
KOWALSKI: Yeah, there is, but, ah, not on murder.
PERCY: What?
KOWALSKI: Sonny was murdered two nights ago.
PERCY: Detective, you don't — I am not a violent man.
KOWALSKI: You pleaded, ah, guilty to common assault just three months ago.
PERCY: Yeah, well, that was after a traffic accident. Even the judge said I was severely provoked.
KOWALSKI: Where were you Tuesday night?
PERCY: This Tuesday?
KOWALSKI: Hmm.
PERCY: That's when he was killed?
KOWALSKI: Hmm.
PERCY: [seems to be relieved] Well, I was butchering a game of golf in Buffalo.
KOWALSKI: Butchering. [He makes a note of this word choice. An assistant knocks on the control room window and signals Percy that he has two minutes.]
PERCY: Listen, I, ah, I gotta go. But I, ah, I hope you catch the guy, and if you need any help, feel free to call me.
KOWALSKI: Yeah.

I am extremely digging the quiet competence of Kowalski's police work here. I particularly love it in the way he is interested by Percy's use of "butchering," but really, the whole scene. Nice work, Rennie. (I am also unavoidably reminded of Sports Night and would like to think of this as a jumping-off moment for crossovers, except how I don't want any of our Sports Night heroes to draw this kind of attention from the police department of any city.)

Is having robbed a liquor store 17 years ago a bad enough situation for Chad here that he had to change his name and pay blackmail to avoid it? I feel like those sportsball guys routinely have criminal records (and way more violent ones) that they get more and more opportunities to rehabilitate. Especially a white dude, I mean, why wouldn't he take this on the chin and talk about putting his past behind him and so on. But here we are. Two hundred bucks a week was decent money in those days; Sonny wasn't getting rich off shaking Percy down, but it should have kept him and his pregnant girlfriend off the street, at least. This was when rent for what we assumed was a two-bedroom apartment in Fraser's extremely crappy former building was $375/month including utilities, so if your only income was $200/week from blackmailing a sports anchor, you could maybe rent a one-bedroom apartment in a slightly nicer building and still have money for groceries and incidentals. And Sonny and Irene were going to be pulling in welfare benefits as well. He should have had the $10 to pay George if he really did bet and lose that much on pool.

Scene 19

General Probably-Bowman is in Thatcher's office with Thatcher, Fraser, and Diefenbaker.

THATCHER: You are an institution in Canada, sir. An icon. We understand your grief at this terrible time —
GENERAL (BOWMAN): Don't presume to understand that, Inspector.
THATCHER: No, sir. But I must remind you that this matter is in the hands of the American authorities. We must leave it to them.
BOWMAN: And what are you suggesting?
THATCHER: [uncomfortable] General, there is some concern that you may try to take the law into your own hands.
BOWMAN: I have led men into some of the worst hellholes on this planet, Inspector, in the name of honor and this country. And you representatives of this country have the nerve to summon me here and accuse me of being a common criminal? [Diefenbaker barks.]
THATCHER: No, sir.
FRASER: General, Inspector Thatcher, as always, is acting in the best interests of the Canadian people and of her government, often in very difficult circumstances. I'm personally liaising with the Chicago Police Department in this case. [He gets his notebook out of his belt pouch and writes in it.] If you would like to call me at this number tomorrow, I would be happy to go over every aspect of the investigation. [He tears out the page and gives it to Bowman.] Thank you, sir.
THATCHER: [as Bowman leaves her office] Fraser — ah — I, I'm afraid that I may, um, sometimes underestimate you.
FRASER: Not without justification, I'm sure.
THATCHER: Still, it's comforting to know that I can think of you as a — partner as well as a subordinate.
BOB FRASER: Be careful, son.
FRASER: Of what?
THATCHER: Of, of me.
BOB FRASER: When a woman gets that stirring in her loins, watch out.
FRASER: There's nothing stirring in anyone's loins.
THATCHER: Did you just say loins?
FRASER: Oh, no, sir. Loins? Sir? Loins? Sirloins? Sirloins, possibly, because I have been, uh — I have been thinking about a good piece of meat. Sir, will you excu—

Fraser flees. Thatcher watches him go, confused.

This was quite a nice moment between Fraser and Thatcher, until Bob (that is, Fraser in the form of his own subconscious) had to ruin it. The conscious mind latching onto "sirloins" and managing to make a hash of that is funny, though.

Scene 20

Bob is in his cabin, painting a landscape and humming. Fraser comes in, annoyed.

FRASER: What was that all about?
BOB FRASER: What was what all about?
FRASER: You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Inthatcher Spector's loins.
BOB FRASER: You always know where you are with clouds. I was taught that by the Group of Six.
FRASER: It was the Group of Seven.
BOB FRASER: [thinks for a moment] Not in our group.
FRASER: Dad, we are not in a locker room.
BOB FRASER: She wants you, son, and I imagine, by God, that she's going to get you, too.
FRASER: Those don't even look like clouds.
BOB FRASER: Oh, son, son, son. You look, but you don't see. Now, look a little more closely at the details. See, these are not really clouds. I've got the whole family in there, all of us. There's Uncle Tiberius. Behind him, Aunt Winny. See that little space? That's for the grandkid. Saving that.
FRASER: [scoffs] Group of Six.

Fraser storms out. Bob keeps painting.

Fraser is right, they don't look like clouds. I was sure Bob was painting mountains in the background. The Group of Seven were Canadian landscape painters, but apparently Bob hung around with a smaller group. Heh. (I also like Fraser's utterly uncommented-upon "Inthatcher Spector".)

Scene 21

Fraser comes out of his office closet and shuts the door. He picks up Chantal's framed picture that he was asking about in scene 12. Then he looks at it more closely. He gets a magnifying glass out of his desk and looks more closely than that. He focuses on a wine glass and an airplane he can see reflected in it.

FRASER: You look, but you don't see.

This would be even more interesting to me if we could ever get a clear view of that picture, but I guess we're not meant to at this time.

Scene 22

Fraser comes out of the consulate, carrying the photo, and gets in a cab. General Bowman is watching him from a van behind the taxi. A little later, Fraser is standing on top of the taxi near the airport with his spyglass, watching a plane landing. He looks around and focuses on a patio umbrella with a window behind it. A little later yet, he lets himself into a fairly nice apartment and has a stealthy look around. He sets his hat on the kitchen island. A man appears behind him and is about to whack him over the head with a golf club, but Fraser turns around at the last moment, blocks him, and throws the guy over his shoulder.

MAN: Who the hell are you?
FRASER: Did you know a Chantal Bowman?
MAN: Why?
FRASER: I'm sorry to have to inform you of this. There has been —
MAN (CHANTAL'S OLDER BOYFRIEND): [weeping] She's dead.
FRASER: I'm afraid so, yes. Excuse me, sir. [He picks up the phone next to where he left his hat and dials.]
CHANTAL'S OLDER BOYFRIEND: Look, I got a wife. I got kids.
FRASER: Detective Vecchio, please.
CHANTAL'S OLDER BOYFRIEND: No, I can't get involved in this.

He gets up.

Nice place. There's a hallway table in there that I like a lot. Whose phone is Fraser using?

Scene 23

Fraser and Chantal's Older Boyfriend are leaving the building.

FRASER: I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father, and for a variety of reasons —

General Bowman arrives with a screech of van tires. He gets out of the van. Sirens can be heard approaching.

BOWMAN: Step away from him, Constable.
FRASER: General, please —

Chantal's Older Boyfriend pushes Fraser aside and runs. Fraser follows him. A patrol car and an unmarked vehicle are both arriving with their lights going. Chantal's Older Boyfriend is cut off by the patrol car; Fraser catches him.

FRASER: Come along, sir.

Meanwhile, Kowalski has emerged from the unmarked car and is arresting Bowman.

KOWALSKI: Up against the car. Assume the position. [He pats him down and taps one of his knees.] Apart. [Kowalski continues the search, finding a gun in a holster that Bowman had not even tried to conceal. As Fraser and one uniform arrive with Chantal's Older Boyfriend, Bowman turns toward him but is stopped by Kowalski and another uniform.] Hey!
BOWMAN: [to Chantal's Older Boyfriend] I know you now.
UNIFORM: Let's go, buddy.
KOWALSKI: Cuff him.

How'd Bowman get that gun into the country? Not that you can't carry guns in the United States, because obviously you can, but on a plane?

Scene 24

Kowalski is leading Bowman, in handcuffs, through the police station.

BOWMAN: What kind of a country is this? The man who killed my daughter goes free —
KOWALSKI: Don't worry. Nobody's going free. Just have a seat there.
BOWMAN: I want to call the consulate.
KOWALSKI: No problem. You just take a seat there. I'll be right back, okay? [Dewey sits Bowman on a bench in the hallway as Kowalski goes into the observation area outside the interview room.] So?
HUEY: He admits he was shacking up with the Bowman woman. But he's got an alibi for the night of the murder.
KOWALSKI: Oh, yeah? Tight?
HUEY: It's pretty tight.
KOWALSKI: How tight?
HUEY: On the night of the murder, he was addressing two thousand members of the Chicago Booksellers Association at the Plaza Hotel.
KOWALSKI: That's tight.
HUEY: Tell you one thing. He's more afraid of his wife than he is of us.

Scene 25

Meanwhile, in Thatcher's office, Thatcher is beside herself.

THATCHER: They've arrested him?
FRASER: He is being detained.
THATCHER: We could have an international incident on our hands. [She hurries out of her office, pulling the door shut behind her with Fraser still inside.]
FRASER: Sir — sir. Sir?

Thatcher shoves the door open again to let Fraser out of her office; it hits him in the face. He comes out, shaking his head to clear it, and joins her. They step out of the building, where Turnbull is doing mannequin guard duty. Thatcher locks the door, looks around carefully, and hides the key under Turnbull's hat. She and Fraser hurry down the stairs to a taxi.

THATCHER: It would be embarrassing to have to trade for General Bowman like the Americans did for Francis Gary Powers.
FRASER: Or the Toronto Maple Leafs did for Dougie Gilmour. [They get into the taxi.]
CABBIE: Careful of the far side.
THATCHER: Oh! It's wet!
CABBIE: I was carrying ice.
THATCHER: [scoots back to the middle of the back seat] Excuse me, Fraser. I'm wet.
FRASER: That's perfectly all right, sir.

The cab drives across town.

THATCHER: Fraser?
FRASER: Yes, sir.
THATCHER: Fraser —
FRASER: Sir?
THATCHER: Don't say "sir" every time I say "Fraser," Fraser! Just let my thoughts reveal themselves. [He nods.] First of all, I want to apologize for my behavior in front of General Bowman.
FRASER: Oh, no apologies necessary, sir.
THATCHER: Please. I'm afraid that I appeared less than . . . managerial.
FRASER: Not at all.
THATCHER: I just wanted to thank you for intervening.
FRASER: Yes, sir.
THATCHER: Not that you needed to intervene.
FRASER: No, no. Of course not.
THATCHER: The thing is, I've been a little preoccupied lately.
FRASER: Ah. I hadn't noticed.
THATCHER: Well, I have. [He does a pressed-lip smile and nods; he had in fact also noticed.] You know I went to my friend Nancy's baby shower just now.
FRASER: Mm-hmm.
THATCHER: Thank you, by the way, for your advice on the gift. You were absolutely right.
FRASER: Oh. I'm glad. [He turns away, thinking the conversation is over.]
THATCHER: You're a surprisingly sensitive man for all your physical strength and courage.
FRASER: Please, sir, I'm — [He waves his hand and looks away.]
THATCHER: I've been thinking lately of having a child.
FRASER: Really? Well, ah — [He clears his throat.] — I think you would make a crackerjack mother.
THATCHER: Thank you, Fraser. It's an enormous undertaking. And you know me. I mean, I wouldn't even know how to start. That's where you come in. [He shifts uncomfortably.] Is your seat wet too?
FRASER: No, sir.
THATCHER: Anyway, I, I was thinking, with all your experience in the field, that you might be the kind of man who would know a thing or two about this sort of business. I was hoping to involve you in the process.
FRASER: [starkly horrified] In the process.
THATCHER: We'd have to be very discreet. And naturally I'd want to get the whole thing overwith as quickly as possible.
FRASER: Naturally.
THATCHER: So I can count on you then to be up for this?
FRASER: Oh! Well, look. Look where we are. Good old police station!

He gets out of the car as fast as possible.

🚨 Danger, Will Robinson Constable Fraser, 🚨 Danger 🚨

I mean, to Fraser's credit, he sees the danger here. Holy carp, is his boss asking him to stud for her? How can she be? What can she possibly mean by "wouldn't even know how to start"? How much experience does she think he has in the field? And yet what else can she be talking about? This manager-employee dynamic has always been inappropriate on one level or another, but this is a whole other thing, isn't it? (On the other hand, how can she be so oblivious to his discomfort? "Is your seat wet, too," forsooth. This is pretty much the point at which I begin to wonder if there's ever been anyone neurotypical working at this particular Canadian consulate. Maybe Ovitz.)

It's a pity, too, because the beginning of this cab ride was a very handsome apology by Thatcher for being less than managerial in scene 19, which she absolutely was, and Fraser covered for her admirably and it was nice to see her acknowledge that. But now here we are.

Oh, before they got in the cab: Francis Gary Powers was a pilot flying a spy mission when he was shot down over the Soviet Union in 1960, recovered alive, and tried and convicted of espionage. In 1962 he and a student who had been imprisoned in East Berlin were exchanged for Rudolf Abel (né William August Fisher), a Soviet spy who had been convicted in New York in 1957. Dougie Gilmour is a hockey player for whom (along with four other guys) the Leafs traded five guys to the Calgary Flames in 1992, but that trade apparently hugely benefited Toronto and hurt Calgary, so it's not clear to me how it would be embarrassing to trade for Bowman the way the Leafs traded for Gilmour. It's also not clear how it would be embarrassing to trade for Bowman the way the United States traded for Powers, nor what Thatcher thinks the Canadians might have that the Americans would want in exchange. The whole conversation is a bit of a stumper.

Scene 26

In the police station, a baby is being passed around and snuggled and cooed at ("What a cutie!"). Thatcher stops to swoon on the way in.

THATCHER: Fraser, look. Isn't that sweet? [The baby gurgles.]
FRASER: [looking like he's afraid he's about to be shot] Yes, um, very, ah —

Fraser flees. Kowalski catches him in the hallway outside the squad room.

KOWALSKI: Fraser.
FRASER: Ah, Ray. Where, ah, where's the general?
KOWALSKI: With the lieutenant.
THATCHER: Detective?
KOWALSKI: With the lieutenant.
THATCHER: [nodding as she passes by] Fraser. [She heads off to talk to Welsh.]
KOWALSKI: [pointing to the wet seat of Thatcher's trousers and hem of her jacket] Wait, what —
FRASER: [still wigged] Oh, uh, she was sitting on ice.
KOWALSKI: That's cold.
FRASER: Well, yes. But it melted.
KOWALSKI: Look, uh, I got Evers in interview one. Did you know his wife was Audra Binghamton? She's got all the money. She's one of the Chicago blue blood families. No wonder he's so worried about her finding out about his little chippie. One false move, he's out on the street without a dime.
FRASER: That's good work, Ray.
KOWALSKI: Thank you.

One assumes that baby belongs to one of the officers and is just in for a visit. Fraser is canonically not afraid of babies, so it's really the proximity of Thatcher to that baby that has sent him scurrying.

So okay, Chantal's Older Boyfriend is named Evers, and he's married to money. No wonder, as Kowalski says, he's more afraid of her than he is of the police.

Scene 27

In Welsh's office, Bowman is hollering at Thatcher.

BOWMAN: Whose side are you on, anyway? I thought you were here to protect my interests.
WELSH: General, Mr. Evers is an American citizen. As such, we deem him to be innocent until proven guilty of any crime.
BOWMAN: He killed my daughter.
WELSH: We have no evidence to that at this time. If and when we obtain such evidence, he'll be off the street faster than a dropped wallet, I give you my word.
BOWMAN: And in the meantime?
THATCHER: You could be deported, you could be held here at the police station, or you can be released into the custody of the Canadian consulate.
BOWMAN: I have committed no crime.
WELSH: Well, there could be a number of gun-related charges, General, and contrary to popular belief, we take that pretty seriously around here. We wouldn't want another War of Eighteen-Twelve on our hands, would we?
BOWMAN: I don't blame you. You lost that war.
WELSH: The War of Eighteen-Twelve? No, we didn't.
BOWMAN: Does the name Queenston Heights ring a bell with you? We cleaned your clocks.
WELSH: Inspector, would you get the general out of my office, please? To jail, the consulate, anywhere.
THATCHER: We can make you comfortable at the consulate, sir.
WELSH: Good.
THATCHER: General. [She escorts him from Welsh's office.] Not a good idea to mention eighteen-twelve, sir. The Americans hate it when they lose a war.

Welsh gives Bowman a cold smile as they go.

I mean, in fairness, who doesn't hate it when they lose a war? Uncle Wiki says the outcome of the War of 1812 was "inconclusive," which I suppose could be seen as losing if you define losing as not winning. It's true that the United States failed to annex any part of Canada, so as far as Canada is concerned, I can see where "sent you packing" is a fair assessment of things. (The Canadians did in fact win a decisive victory at Queenston Heights, so General Bowman isn't making that up. It's just that it's a slightly odd thing to be hung up on 185 years later.)

Scene 28

In the squad room, Fraser is on the phone at Kowalski's desk.

FRASER: Yes, thank you kindly. [hangs up, speaks to Kowalski] That was the Ballantine Hotel in Buffalo. They'll be faxing over a copy of Chad Percy's hotel bill from the night of Sonny's murder. [They both seem puzzled.]
KOWALSKI: Okay, this is stupid. We got two murders, two suspects, two motives up the yin-yang, and we got two airtight alibis on the nights of the murders in question.
FRANCESCA: [comes over with her psych textbook] Hey, Ray.
KOWALSKI: Look, we're working here, Francesca, and my super-id is completely groovy. If I ever start to drool, you'll be the first one I call, okay?
FRANCESCA: [rolls her eyes] Fraser.
FRASER: Mm-hmm?
FRANCESCA: Would you agree that our air conditioning causes us to see things in certain ways?
FRASER: Air conditioning? Perhaps you mean simply conditioning. You know, the school of behavioral — [He sees a page in her book and takes it from her, staring at it: It's a Rubin vase, one of those black-and-white optical illusions that's either two faces on the sides or one vase or candlestick or something in the middle.]
KOWALSKI: What?
FRASER: I just had an epiphany.
KOWALSKI: What?
FRASER: Chad Maxwell did not kill Sonny Dunlap.
KOWALSKI: What? We know that, 'cause he wasn't even in Chicago at the time. What kind of epiphany is that?
FRASER: It's an excellent epiphany. He was in Buffalo, which is less than two hours' drive from Toronto, where Ms. Bowman was murdered. I think they traded victims.

I like how Fraser and Kowalski lean across the desk at each other to talk about this insight, and I like how Fraser instantly dismisses Kowalski's challenge. "It's an excellent epiphany." 😂 I'm not sure why Francesca is approaching the two of them to ask about what I assume is her psych homework (though I do like that she's doing the reading, which too many students never bother). Also, Francesca is (a) left-handed, which I'm not sure we've noticed before, and (b) wearing the hell out of that yellow blouse. That's two out of two White women on this show wearing yellow successfully. I myself could never. (I think I tried, when I was a kid—I seem to remember a passport photo when I was 10—but kids can get away with a lot of things adults can't, innit.)

Here's the picture in Francesca's textbook that leads to Fraser's Excellent Epiphany (which would be a great title for a fic, by the way):

Scene 29

Fraser and Kowalski follow Welsh out of the squad room and into the corridor.

WELSH: Oh, mother of God. You want to spell this out for me?
KOWALSKI: Nick Evers did not kill Ms. Bowman. He killed Sonny Dunlap.
FRASER: Chad Percy killed Ms. Bowman.
KOWALSKI: They switched.
FRASER: You see, both men wanted someone dead, Chad Percy because Sonny was blackmailing him and threatening to expose him —
KOWALSKI: — and Ms. Bowman was threatening to tell Evers' wife about their affair, thereby throwing him off the old gravy train —
FRASER: — and they both knew they would be prime suspects in any investigation of the murders, so they arranged to provide one another with ironclad alibis.
WELSH: So Chad Percy was in Canada when Sonny was killed here in Chicago.
FRASER: That's right, and Nick Evers was in Chicago when Ms. Bowman was killed in Toronto.
WELSH: Now wait a minute, wait a minute. Is there any proof of this?
KOWALSKI: Uh, I knew you'd ask that. Um —
FRASER: It's a, ah, working hypothesis.
WELSH: Is there a shred of evidence that they even knew each other?
FRASER: Ah, no, I'm afraid not.
WELSH: Hmm. Well, I suggest you find that shred. If you'll excuse me now, I'm going to get my superego in touch with my id.

Welsh shuts himself in the holding cell and lies down on the cot.

Apparently nobody in the 27th precinct has seen Throw Momma from the Train (1987) or, better yet, its antecedent Strangers on a Train (1951), in both of which people who don't know each other well agree to trade murder victims to rid themselves of unwanted relationships while avoiding suspicion. (The 1987 film, directed by Danny DeVito, features himself telling Billy Crystal, "I kill your wife, you kill my momma. That's fair." The 1951 film, directed by Alfred Hitchcock, is of course the source of the title of this episode; it is nothing to do with the sitcom Perfect Strangers, which was a buddy comedy about a "city mouse" in Chicago and his long-lost distant "country mouse" cousin who comes to . . . live with him and . . . wait a minute . . .)

Scene 30

General Bowman is listening to a police scanner and looking at a photograph of his daughter. He puts the picture down and covers his eyes.

Poor guy.

Scene 31

Fraser dodges apologetically past a mom with two small children in the corridor and meets Huey outside the squad room, who gives him a key.

HUEY: It's parked out back. The black one.
KOWALSKI: [as Fraser heads into the squad room] Fraser, we aren't having any luck with the phone tap, so we're going to give them a jolt. We dug up the connection. Part of Percy's sentencing on that assault charge was going to these anger management seminars. We showed Evers' picture around and came up with a positive ID. [He puts in an earpiece.]
WELSH: [coming out of his office] All right, we ready to make the call?
FRANCESCA: Yeah. [She puts her homework aside and dials. In his office, Evers answers.]
EVERS: Hello?
FRANCESCA: Hello, Mr. Evers?
EVERS: Speaking.
FRANCESCA: [Welsh listening on an extension] Hi, this is the Chicago Police Department calling. Lieutenant Welsh would like to know if you could come in and speak to a couple of our officers regarding the Sonny Dunlap case?
EVERS: [surprised] Dunlap? I don't — no, I, I — there must be some mistake. You must mean the — mean the Chantal Bowman case.
FRANCESCA: Oh, yeah, sorry. I must have mixed them up. You know how it is, drowning in paperwork and everything. Um, I was just wondering, when could you come in?
EVERS: Look, I've got another call. I'm alone in the office. I'll call you back.

Evers hangs up on Francesca and places another call immediately.

PERCY: Yeah?
EVERS: [hands shaking] They know.

Percy is startled. He hangs up immediately. So does Welsh, who was still listening. So does Evers. In the squad room, Kowalski takes out his earpiece and he and Fraser head out.

I do love when a civilian aide gets to help out with genuine police work instead of just fetching and filing. (I don't know how the gang at the police station was able to hear Percy's second call, but never mind.)

Scene 32

Evers leaves his office building driving a Benz. He calls again.

PERCY: Yeah?
EVERS: Don't hang up. This is a new phone.
PERCY: You stupid bastard.
EVERS: He's following me.
PERCY: Who? The cops?
EVERS: No, her father. [Sure enough, a van is behind Evers in traffic.] He's going to kill me, I know it.
PERCY: Okay. You know the Douglas overpass, just before the river? Lead him there. Take your time. I'll need twenty minutes.

Percy hangs up. Evers hangs up his mobile phone and looks in his rearview. Percy opens the trunk of a little sports car and moves a golf bag to the back seat before getting in and peeling out of the parking lot. Kowalski is sitting in a car watching him go; he follows. Bowman is not following Evers in his van, because he's in the consulate loading a long gun with a scope on it and listening to his police scanner.

DISPATCH: [on radio] He's got a route over there. Fourteen-nineteen on one-thirty-four.
KOWALSKI: [on radio] He's heading west on Roosevelt. I'm right behind him, heading for the river.

Bowman is ready to go.

So Percy seems to have known his phone was bugged this whole time, huh? Meanwhile, Evers is feeling it like a Poe character and seeing General Bowman around every corner.

Scene 33

Evers drives to the overpass and parks under it. He gets out of his car for some reason and then sees the black van that we know can't be Bowman's pull up. He hides behind a bridge pier, probably soiling himself. Fraser and Diefenbaker get out of the van. Percy peers out from behind another bridge pier and aims a rifle; Fraser hears it rack just in time and dives behind a steel barrel. The bullet pings off the barrel.

FRASER: [to Diefenbaker] Go around.

Diefenbaker goes around. Percy waves to Evers to move away. He runs and hides behind a broken-down car. Fraser runs and takes cover behind Evers's car, then behind another bridge pier. Percy is sighting down his rifle, waiting for Fraser to come out in the open again. He shoots but hits the pier, then takes aim again. Evers realizes Percy is aiming at him. Just in time, Fraser makes another move: He runs from behind the bridge pier and tackles Evers to the ground, out of the way of Percy's next shot. Percy racks the gun and aims again; Fraser shields Evers; Kowalski comes out from behind the pier behind Percy, handgun out.

KOWALSKI: Drop it!

Percy slowly lowers the rifle. Fraser and Evers exhale. When Percy puts the rifle down, Kowalski grabs him by the collar. Fraser jumps up and does the same with Evers.

FRASER: Nice work, Ray. What took you so long?
KOWALSKI: I got a little lost in the long grass there.
PERCY: What's going on here?
KOWALSKI: [holstering his gun] I thought you and your pal could tell us.
PERCY: Pal? I've never seen this guy before in my life.
KOWALSKI: Oh, so, what, you just go around trying to shoot perfect strangers?
FRASER: You knew one another, didn't you, Mr. Evers?
EVERS: You're damn right we know each other! And it was his idea!
FRASER: [seeing a point from a laser sight on Evers's face] Down!

Fraser tackles Evers again; Kowalski and Percy also hit the dirt.

BOWMAN: [coming toward them] I have no quarrel with either of you. You can stand aside, and I'll take them from here.
FRASER: General —
BOWMAN: Stand aside or I will kill all four of you.
EVERS: I — I, I didn't kill your daughter.
BOWMAN: Yes, you did. You both did. And you can both answer for it.
FRASER: [gets up] General, you've spent your entire life fighting to bring peace to people in the world. Do you want that struggle to end here? [All four of them are on their feet now.]
BOWMAN: They don't deserve to live.
FRASER: That's not our decision to make.
BOWMAN: I am a soldier.
FRASER: And a Canadian. And as such, I know you believe in the rule of law, not in vigilante action. We have to leave this to justice, sir.
BOWMAN: [turns to Percy] Say it. [Percy looks at him. Bowman lifts his gun, and Percy sees the laser sight point on his tie.] Say it!
PERCY: [quietly] I did it.
BOWMAN: Did what? [Now the laser sight is pointing between Percy's eyes.]
PERCY: I killed your daughter.

Bowman pulls up his gun and starts to tremble.

This is a pretty good scene, though I don't love Fraser's as-a-Canadian stuff (the implication being, I feel, that Canadians are as a populace more law-abiding than . . . than whom? than anyone else? than Americans specifically? Only Americans do vigilantism? Feh.). I'll point out right off the mark that the graffiti on the pier behind Bowman says "EAT THE RICH!" But note how the whole time, Evers is cowering behind Fraser, while Percy—though he's a son of a bitch—is facing Bowman straight on and with his head up. The only time he lowers his chin is to look at the sight-light on his chest; other than that, after lying about never having seen Evers before in his life, he knows what he did and is ready to take his lumps for it. Interestingly complex, Percy, for a single-episode villain.

Scene 34

Fraser goes into his office; from the closet, he hears that Bob is listening to the record player. Music cue: "Watching the Apples Grow" by Stan Rogers. Fraser goes into the cabin.

RECORD PLAYER: ♫ On the ridge above Acadia's town to the valley down below, the evening shadow falls upon the families listening to the radio and watching the apples grow. Down on the farm, back among the family, away from Ontario, hear the ladies singing to the men, dancing in the heel and toe and watching the apples grow. ♫
BOB FRASER: This was your baby bag. It was good for forty below. Of course, a little sixty below never hurt anybody, unless they were wearing Bermudas. Well, he can't be reared in this jungle. We'll have to move north.
FRASER: Getting a little ahead of yourself, don't you think?
BOB FRASER: You can run, but you can't hide, son.
FRASER: What are you talking about? [He moves the needle off the record.]
BOB FRASER: Grandchildren.
FRASER: Grandchildren. Dad, you cannot have grandchildren. You are dead.
BOB FRASER: So you keep telling me! With overmuch glee, I might add.
FRASER: Oh, for God's sake —
BOB FRASER: Oh, come on, son. Is it going to kill you to give her a leg over?
FRASER: A leg over? [sigh] Dad, I really don't have time for this.
BOB FRASER: Well, that's what I said. Look what it got me.
FRASER: Yeah, well, that's a different story. There you are. [He stalks out of the cabin and back into his office.] Leg over. Foot down. Thigh up. Lunatic.

Blackout, end credit music begins, but then it stops with a record scratch.

BOB FRASER: It's not over yet, son.

I appreciate how Fraser's voice and accent sound more like Bob's when he's talking to Bob. The detail in that bit of the performance pleases me greatly.

Scene 35

In the hallway outside Thatcher's office, Fraser smooths back his hair. Diefenbaker grumbles. Fraser is holding a bunch of flowers.

Oh no.

Fraser takes a deep breath, cracks his neck, and knocks on Thatcher's office door.

THATCHER: Come in. [Fraser comes in hesitantly.] Yes, Constable. [He clears his throat.] What is it, Fraser?
FRASER: Well, sir, I've, uh, I've given considerable thought to your, ah, proposal. And, uh — and, I mean, I have nothing against, uh — well, I have nothing against — you know. It's just that I, I, I'm not, by nature, impulsive. Although I have been known, you know, to, to really let my, uh, to let my hair — well, no, that's not strictly speaking true, I've never even let my hair grow, let alone —
THATCHER: Is there a point to this, Constable?
FRASER: Yes, sir. The point is that I just think that things like this should be taken incrementally. Um, perhaps we could start with conversation, and, uh — although, well, you and I have talked, so I suppose we could bypass that. We'd just move to the next increment. Dancing, possibly. Oh, not now. Not now, of course, because there is no music, although, you know, my parents used to dance, um, without music all the time. I, I recall a time in my childhood when —
THATCHER: Fraser —
FRASER: Sir?
THATCHER: You didn't think that I . . .
FRASER: I don't think that you . . .
THATCHER: Well, when I asked that you be part of the process, you didn't think that I was suggesting . . .
FRASER: That you were suggesting . . .
THATCHER: Well — well, that, that you . . .
FRASER: That I . . .

This is the most uncomfortable conversation that has ever been had.

THATCHER: Because —
FRASER: Oh, no, no —
THATCHER: — that would be . . .
FRASER: — no, I mean, that would be, uh . . .

"Several hundred kinds of inappropriate" is the phrase both of them are reaching for at this point, I'm sure.

THATCHER: I meant adoption, Fraser.

But before this scene comes to its merciful conclusion, let's twist the knife just a tiny bit more.

Look at how many emotions Gross and Scott manage to play in the second and a half in which neither of them is speaking. Fraser does a little sad sighing chuckle in which "adoption, of course, what an idiot I am" might as well be tattooed on his forehead; Thatcher looks at the flowers in his hand and her expression changes from gentle clarification to a kind of dismay that is somehow not in any way pitying; and they both do it in less than one beat. I mean, I've said before: Professionals. But man, I love watching people work who are really good at what they do. I'll put this moment on the shelf next to "Deflect?" as the tip-top Fraser-and-Thatcher subverbal performances.

FRASER: [looking at the tops of his boots] Sir, may I, um . . .
THATCHER: May you what? [She's leaving the door open for him to ask her out anyway.]
FRASER: [looking her in the eye] . . . be dismissed? [He is closing it.]
THATCHER: [sad smile] If you wish.

Fraser turns away, but after a step or two, he turns back and hands her the flowers.

FRASER: Oh, uh — I found these.

He has pulled himself together enough to do a plausible friendly smile. She takes the flowers and stands by her desk as he goes. A couple of bars of Brahms's lullaby play in a music-box style as he leaves her standing there.

Okay, I've said a relationship between Fraser and Thatcher would be a terrible idea. I've said you shouldn't catch feelings for your boss. I've said you should keep your mouth off her mouth at all times in future. He's obviously been horrified by the very prospect for the first 42¾ minutes of this 45-minute episode! So why is it SO GUTTING when it turns out at minute 44:30 that she was talking about something entirely other all along?

You'd think he'd be relieved, right? I mean, he is visibly relieved (isn't he?), but he is also mortified to have misunderstood her intentions so badly (though one isn't sure how he was supposed to hear her say "I've been thinking of having a child" and conclude what she meant was "I've been thinking of adopting a child"). On top of which, apparently by talking himself into being okay with this idea he has actually talked himself into wanting it, and he only realizes that's what he's done when it turns out he can't have it.

How much of his distress is because it's only been five or six weeks since the last time his heart was broken and how much of it is because he feels like he really isn't supposed to have feelings at all? And if it costs him that much to open up and put his heart out there, and the payoff keeps being zilch (or worse), it's not going to be long before he stops even trying, right? 😭

(I mean. I don't know what the Fraser-and-Thatcher plot is doing here at all, but it's tacked on a little more solidly than it was on "Witness"—there's at least a through-line here—so there's that. But given that it is here, I think they played this button beautifully.)

I also kind of adore the item that Bob and Caroline used to dance without music, which went by so fast it got swallowed up in the entire rest of the scene. ❤️

Cumulative body count: 32
Red uniform: The whole episode

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