memo

to: english speakers
from: fox
re: redundancy

please, everyone, stop describing small things as "small little". it's driving me bananas, and always has.

thank you.

bored, bored, bored

borrowed the survey from 3jane.

( cut, cut, cut. )

how to inspire customer loyalty

so last monday, wholenother and i ordered a pizza which took, frankly, quite a bit longer to arrive than it probably should have. guy got lost, or something -- that pizza had been a pizza for a while by the time it got here. but whatever, it wasn't ridiculously late like that time datlowen and i ordered from the same chain in college and the thing still hadn't arrived like four hours later, and i was down watching the delivery cars arrive so i could stop the guy if it looked like he didn't realize he was at the right building, and one driver thought i was, like, holding him up for the pizzas, offered to give me the pizzas if i'd just not make any trouble, like i was pizza-jacking him or something (which i wasn't).

anyway. so today, in the mail, i have this card from the chain (which is Papa John's, i don't mind telling you, because of what's about to follow): I don't believe, says Papa John, your recent experience with us met my standards. Please give us another chance to serve you and your family by enjoying a free large pizza on us.

did i complain? i did not. did i tip the delivery guy? i did. which means these dudes looked in their little computer and saw "time ordered" and "time returned" and concluded that they'd fucked up, and have done something proactive to fix it.

i wasn't unhappy. but now i'm delighted. go, them.

machetunim

It is a well-known fact that every language lacks some expressions for which other languages have perfect words. My father's favorite example is gemütlich, a German word that I understand (not being a native speaker) to mean something like 'comfortable' and something like 'comforting', but not either of those things and not precisely both of them together. (See what I mean?)

One of mine is macheteyneste, a Yiddish word that according to Leo Rosten means:

mother-in-law

future mother-in-law

son or daughter's future mother-in-law

son or daughter's mother-in-law (he says this is the most exact meaning)

What an excellent relationship to have a special word for. The macheteyneste is (or normally at least once was) married to the machuten, and they and their family are one's machetunim. We have "in-laws", sure; but while my brother's wife's family are not my in-laws, they are (I believe) my machetunim.

I propose adding an extra "-in-law" to people one more step removed from relationship by blood. So:

me -> my brother => his wife; my sister-in-law -> her sister; his sister-in-law; my sister-in-law-in-law

For convenience, however, I suggest that people married to siblings use only one layer of "in-law" when referring to each other:

my brother => his wife -> her sister; his sister-in-law => the sister's husband; my brother's [wife's] brother-in-law

Interestingly, we don't do this at all with relatives beyond the first degree. You call the woman married to your uncle either (a) your aunt or (b) your uncle's wife (depending on how you feel about her, I'd wager) -- I don't know anybody who says "aunt-in-law", not even to describe the sister of her mother-in-law. Ditto grandparents and cousins.

Anyone who's got a submission for "sister-in-law-in-law", I'd love to hear it.