sport/not a sport

musesfool made the point i was going to make about how to determine if something is a sport or not, so i don't have to do it myself (short version: objective scoring. the end.), but as a public service, i have helpfully divided all current olympic events into a handy checklist of what, according to that definition (which is of course absolutely correct) is and is not a sport. this list does not include events like golf (sport) and ballroom dancing (not a sport, despite calling itself DanceSport) and water skiing (not a sport) and rodeo (sport), because these are not and don't look likely to be olympic medal events. short discussion at the end about poker.

olympic events that are, in fact, sports summer Aquatics:    swimming    water polo Archery Athletics:    all track, field, and road events, including race-walking Badminton Baseball Basketball Boxing Canoe/kayak Cycling Equestrian:    jumping Fencing Soccer Handball Field hockey Judo Modern pentathlon (shoot, fence, jump on horseback, run, swim)

olympic events that are, sadly, not sports summer Aquatics:    diving (solo and synchronized)    synchronized swimming Equestrian:    dressage    eventing* Gymnastics:    artistic (i.e. "real" gymnastics)    rhythmic    trampoline winter Skating:    figure skating and ice dancing Skiing:    freestyle aerials    freestyle moguls    nordic combined (race and jump)**    ski jumping**    snowboard half-pipe

Rowing Sailing Shooting Softball Table tennis Tae kwon do Tennis Triathlon (swim, cycle, run) Volleyball:    beach and indoor Weightlifting Wrestling winter Biathlon (ski, shoot) Bobsleigh:    bobsled and skeleton Curling Hockey Luge Skating:    speed skating and short-track Skiing:    all alpine events (downhill, various slaloms, combined)    all cross-country events    freestyle moguls    nordic combined (race and jump)    ski jumping    snowboard slalom

*eventing is in the not-a-sport column because it has a dressage component. if the cross-country course were an event by itself, i'd put it over on the left.
**ski jumping is mainly scored on distance, but there are judges who give them (or, i suppose, more like take away) points for style, as well. damn shame, really.




if these things qualify, why not poker?

well -- because poker doesn't involve any athleticism of any kind, for a start. i suppose it could be argued that the equestrian events don't require the humans to exhibit any particular athleticism (but i bet the horses are happier when they do), and archery and shooting are more about skill than anything else. so on that basis, should poker get in because there is skill involved as well as luck? frankly, if an event is going to be admitted that involves literally sitting on your ass until you win, it should be chess. and if a card game is going to get in, it should probably be duplicate bridge.

today on the olympics:

if y'all aren't watching the iraq~costa rica soccer game, you should start now. (it's 3:10 eastern and there's about 10 minutes left in regulation, but there'll be some added penalty time.) if you can't see the end of the game, but have the opportunity to see some highlights called later in the day, watch them. these iraqi soccer players are the early darlings of these olympics, yo.