conversations it's fine to have in public

background: my flatmate I seems to have hooked up with downstairs-neighbor N. he was up in our flat this afternoon, and the two of them were in her room for about an hour; this roused my suspicions, which i floated past flatmate L (and which were subsequently confirmed when I and N arrived together at the college bar later), and the subject came up again at dinner (which I and N did not attend). [eta: false alarm! I, who is incapable of lying, insists that they were having coffee and chatting, and are just good friends.] L and i were doing okay speaking cryptically, but then V was dying to know what we were talking about, and with the caveat that it was nothing but mere speculation, we told her it seemed there was this thing between I and N.

queen P, next to me: oh, i hope not. for her sake.
me: why? do you know something about N?
P: no, not at all -- but he's got that beard, for one thing.
me: are you anti-beard?
L: i am! i'm totally anti-beard.
P: yes. beards are bad.
me: i'm not much of a fan of beards, but scruff is okay.
P: no, scruff is worse!
L: scruff is worse! beards at least are soft.
me: i'm saying that's what makes scruff better. two or three days' worth of stubble, that's what i'm talking about.
L: no, that's nice to look at --
P: yes. very nice to look at.
L: but it's scratchy!
me: yes! exactly!
L, P, cannons_at_dawn, V, girl-i-don't-know, and B-from-downstairs-whom-nobody-knows-i-slept-with-twice: [silence]
me: and now we all know a little more about me, i guess.

i don't understand these people who insist on clean-shaven-ness. the scruff is good. the scratchy is good. mmmmmscruff.