urgh. [collapse]

welcome bop tonight.  in four hours, st cross college drank its way through £674.40 worth of beer and spirits.  that may not sound like a lot for one night at a bar, but listen, this is a place where a pint of guinness is £1.80 and the most expensive single-malt scotch is £2.40 a shot.  in general, rail drinks are £1.40 (£1.60 with a mixer) and shelf drinks are £1.80 (£2.20).  we kicked kegs on all four of our beer taps (after one of them also kicked a keg last night) and ran through two bottles of smirnoff, a bottle of stolichnaya, a bottle of skyy, a bottle of zubrowka, a large bottle of gordon's, a bottle of knob creek bourbon, a bottle of bulleitt bourbon, a bottle of bushmill's, and all the tequila in the house.  probably some more as well; that's just what i remember off the top of my head.  i don't even want to think about how many bottles of tonic i used up.  by about 11:30 they were taking pity on us and putting their change in the tip jar, as well, bless them.

guh, my feet hurt.  but!  as much triple sec and whatnot as i spilled over my hands and as many times as i washed them, i tell you what, i can still smell today's bpal on my wrists.  :-D

sigh.

i'm not sure why i bother to go to auditions.  i perform well, but in many cases i audition just terribly; and even when i don't, i hate the feeling that i nailed the audition -- on one occasion in college, in a callback, i was the only one who did nail it -- and yet will not get the part/into the group/whatever for some reason having little or nothing to do with my work.

dance, ten; looks, three?  maybe.

in today's case, though, i am pretty confident that i completely ballsed up one audition, and the outcome of the second will depend on the auditors' sympathy, really.  i could hear another candidate singing the prepared snippet as i came up to the building, and she (a) didn't have the top notes and (b) had a sort of buzzy, not-unpleasant-but-not-blendy voice that i wouldn't have been impressed with even if she hadn't been trying out for the same section as i was.  (my voice blends extremely well; it's one of the reasons i've never been much of a soloist.)  and i had a pleasant chat with the girl on reception while the candidate ahead of me did her thing; and when i went in, people were very nice, and the director was all pleased to see that i grew up in cleveland ("i used to work in america, so i consider myself sort of an honorary american.  i used to work with arlo guthrie, do you know him?"  "... well, i know the name, of course."), and warming up and range-testing went well, and i nailed the prepared snippet -- and the wheels came right off the wagon when it came to reading.  (the earlier audition today, for another group, was all reading, so there you go.)  i just tanked.  i was concentrating so hard on finding the notes (and failing often) that the breathing got totally out of control and i'm running out of air and the rhythm is just gone; and after that came a final bit where he'd play two notes and ask me to sing the lower one (which i did fine) and then he'd play three notes and ask me to sing the middle one (which i did okay, i think, but by this point, who can tell?).

sigh.  so, on the off chance that my voice itself is so phenomenally better than anyone else they've heard, i may still have a shot.  (or, you know, if there's not a single soprano in town who can sight-read her way out of a paper bag.  but that doesn't seem likely, does it?)  but it may be that they don't care as much about that as, you know, they should.  feh.