mixed blessings

No, I have two!

1.  I had a good audition Wednesday evening for the Cathedral Choral Society.  I like auditioning for groups of a sort and size where it's not the case that they have room for one alto and two sopranos, or whatever, so they're trying to work out whether to take you or someone else -- that is, I like auditions where the question is not "you, or her?" but "yes, or no?"  I like these auditions because I tend to be more successful at them than at the other kind, for whatever reason (the voices they want for those other groups are more like soloists than I usually am, is what), and also because they tend to raise their eyebrows and nod approvingly when they see "Cleveland" on my card, which, listen, outside the music world?, nobody is impressed that you grew up in Cleveland.  :-D  Anyway, I did some scales (only up to B flat, but whatever), and I sight-read from the second soprano line, as I was told, on a Kyrie that they gave me, and then the director asked if I thought I was generally going for a sort of Anglican sound.  I admitted that this is the sound I've been cultivating for the past two years, and he nodded and asked me to do some more scales and things and not to detach the notes as much.  Put another way:  he wanted me to slide, which goes against like everything I've ever been taught or asked to do -- so I clenched my fists and concentrated and tried, and by the second or third scale I sort of had it.  Then he said something about more space and more resonance, and his assistant chimed in with "Try to sound more like a soloist", and I said "So essentially you'd like me to try to sing like a grown woman rather than like a little boy", and they said "Yes!  That's it!", and I did, and it felt weird, but they shook  my hand and I'm in.  So.

That's the good part; the bad part, as you may have seen the other day, is that sanj's audition didn't go as well, and she was bounced to the next round of auditions in January.  :-(  Wah!  I'm not crazy about times when my friends are successful and I'm not, but I balance that by not especially liking times when I'm successful and my friends are not.  [pouts and sulks]  But, bright side:  we should get to sing together in the other group, the Thursday-rehearsal Sunday-morning-communion thing.  Assuming I don't fluff the audition this coming Thursday.

2.  I just spent a while looking at my credit card statement, and two three things are true:  first, I haven't spent (that is, I don't owe) nearly as much money as I thought I had, these past couple of weeks; second, I don't owe it all at once, because there's been a statement closing date; and third, I don't owe the first chunk of it until September 20.  This is all outstanding!

However, things that must be kept in mind:

• The chunk of money due September 20 is larger at the moment -- about $300 more -- than the chunk that won't be due until October 20, but the statement closing date is September 25 and it is now September 2, so it's not like I can spend only $300 between now and the end of the month and thus keep the spending roughly under control.  The way I know this is, there's already about $230 of temporary authorizations pending, so I'd actually be talking about spending $70 between now and the end of the month, which is just. not. actually. possible.  I could try!  But I'd fail.  On the other hand:  I know for sure I can keep the next statement under the level I have always arbitrarily considered A Ludicrous Amount Of Money To Spend In One Month, so that's good.
  
• In fairness, over $600 of this month's approaching-ludicrous spending was the moving truck.
  
• This does not mean I have $600 more room to wiggle in!  [smacks self on wrist]
  
• That's the kind of thinking that gets me in trouble.  "Oh," I say, "I'm not going to go down flailing when I try to pay this Visa bill after all!  Even if nobody hires me and therefore I don't earn any money until the end of October, I can still meet all my expenses!  I'd better get going and see if I can't make that totally untrue!"

I will choose, therefore, to focus on the fact that I feel a lot better; trust that I will get something, even if it's just temporary, come Tuesday; and not fret about buying a bed in this sale that ends Labor Day, where I can finance the thing for 12 or 24 months with no interest.

On that subject, incidentally, memo to the guy at Mattress Discounters:  listen, you're cute and I know you're in sales, but stop telling me things cost the same when they don't.  A difference of thirty bucks may not seem like a lot when you're talking about six or seven hundred, but that doesn't change the fact that 30 ≠ 0.  And then, especially when you've just told me that the frame is included but delivery is $70, and then I ask about the time I had a choice between that or paying for the frame and taking free delivery, don't tell me it's the same either way when the cost of the frame is $54.99.  Because 15 also ≠ 0.  Okay?  If I ask you if the prices are comparable, then you can say yes.  But if the question is "What is the price, please?", you should tell me the price, and not say something like "It's the same either way -- one is $70 and one is $55."  Because then you sound either stupid or crooked, depending which way I choose to tilt my head.

Thank you.

OH MY GOD.

So a couple of years ago, the first time I sat down and deliberately listened to the Verdi Requiem, I remember saying, Hang on, I know this Dies irae, where have I heard it before?, I feel like it was in some commercial or something.  And I couldn't remember which one, or when, or what the product was -- anything.  But I didn't stress about it, which should impress those of you who know me.  :-)

And now, because I have no cable and no DVD yet, I've been completely relying on VHS tapes, and this is The West Wing on Bravo from, I don't know, 2002? 2003?  And I hear Verdi's Dies irae.  It was a Toyota Highlander commercial, with kids running all over a soccer field and being all muddy and descending on the car.  Woohoo!  Relief I didn't even need anymore!