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Some weeks or months ago, I met the mother of one of the prince's friends in the hallway at daycare and we had a pleasant one- or two-minute conversation about nothing much.
Earlier this week, I met the father of the same friend and mentioned that earlier conversation: "I was talking to your wife a few weeks ago and --"
"Well, my ex," he said.
No accusation in his voice, just a heads-up, but I reflexively said "Oh, I'm sorry" (hoping retrospectively that he heard it as "I'm sorry to have made that assumption" rather than "I'm sorry to hear your marriage didn't work out," because I don't know their lives and can't guess the ways and degrees in which this arrangement is better for whom) and then went on with what we were saying - mainly how the daily reports often have cute pictures of both of our kids, because they enjoy playing together so much.
Later that same morning I met the father of another of the prince's friends in the parking lot, and his kid was with him and pointed to me and said "That's the prince's mommy!" and the dad stopped to chat because he's apparently been hearing about my kid all the time, a thing I also heard from that same kid's mom several weeks ago when I met her at pickup time. Which I said to this dad - referring to the kid's other parent as "his mom" rather than "your wife." Safer?
This morning, a co-worker was updating me on a project we're working on and telling me about a conversation he'd had with a very senior person at another agency. He'd referred to the senior person only by title, no names, and then I pronouned the senior person as "he" and the co-worker corrected me (not judgmentally, just in that way you do) with "she."
Fifteen minutes later I was talking to my mom about an appointment she has this afternoon with a new doctor, and I interrupted myself just before pronouning to ask if the doctor is a man or a woman.
I have so much room in which to be less careless.
Earlier this week, I met the father of the same friend and mentioned that earlier conversation: "I was talking to your wife a few weeks ago and --"
"Well, my ex," he said.
No accusation in his voice, just a heads-up, but I reflexively said "Oh, I'm sorry" (hoping retrospectively that he heard it as "I'm sorry to have made that assumption" rather than "I'm sorry to hear your marriage didn't work out," because I don't know their lives and can't guess the ways and degrees in which this arrangement is better for whom) and then went on with what we were saying - mainly how the daily reports often have cute pictures of both of our kids, because they enjoy playing together so much.
Later that same morning I met the father of another of the prince's friends in the parking lot, and his kid was with him and pointed to me and said "That's the prince's mommy!" and the dad stopped to chat because he's apparently been hearing about my kid all the time, a thing I also heard from that same kid's mom several weeks ago when I met her at pickup time. Which I said to this dad - referring to the kid's other parent as "his mom" rather than "your wife." Safer?
This morning, a co-worker was updating me on a project we're working on and telling me about a conversation he'd had with a very senior person at another agency. He'd referred to the senior person only by title, no names, and then I pronouned the senior person as "he" and the co-worker corrected me (not judgmentally, just in that way you do) with "she."
Fifteen minutes later I was talking to my mom about an appointment she has this afternoon with a new doctor, and I interrupted myself just before pronouning to ask if the doctor is a man or a woman.
I have so much room in which to be less careless.
