in which my head hurts from scowling so much

Yeah, so, I'm not unhappy or upset or angry or any of that; I think the mood I'm in now is precisely, accurately, described as "cross."

I'm cross with Ms. JKR for reasons known to those of you who know what I'm talking about. I'm cross with myself for being so involved in a fictional universe that it can affect my mood for four days (and counting).

I'm cross with the girl who sits in front of me and to the left in Russian for never paying a damn bit of attention in class, spending the time instead drawing cartoons in her notebook, and then (obviously) not knowing the answer when she's called on, although she seems to be anxious or ADD or in some other way not entirely responsible for her manner (though I do believe she's responsible for her behavior). I'm cross with the grad student who teaches the evening sessions, Sunday through Thursday, for not being better organized and therefore presiding over an hour and a half five days a week in which several of us show up to learn nothing, reinforce nothing we've learned elsewhere, and have our time wasted.

I'm cross with the weather for being so damned hot.

I'm cross with the Boy for [see previous entry]. I'm cross with myself for giving a damn, which I hardly even do -- but like I said, it's not the what that I object to, but the how.

I'm cross with my friends for living so far away that I can't just call them up and make plans to hang out the same evening. The fact that, in every case but three, I'm the one who moved away -- that's irrelevant at the moment.

I'm cross with everyone I know who is happy, for being happy when I'm not.

I'm cross with academia for not dropping a plan for the next phase of my graduate study fully-formed into my lap. I'm cross with my apartment for harboring tiny little fruit-fly-like buggy things (which, fortunately, make no noise and don't bite, but are nevertheless really annoying), even after I cleaned it from top to bottom, took out all the trash, and subjected it to inspection by exterminators. I'm cross with my neighbor for playing her music at a volume precisely loud enough that I can hear only the percussion.

I'm cross with curling season for not being year-round.

I'm cross with myself (for the third time, now) for not having what it takes, assuming "what it takes" exists, to just get the hell over it and quit being cross at all the above people and things. I've tried, and all that happens is what happens when you try not to think about elephants.

I really feel like if any one of the irritants named above were fixed, I'd be immeasurably happier.