memo

to:  sinuses
cc:  nose
from:  Fox
re:  demands

What is it you want?  What?!  This morning you have been provided with steam, kleenex, oxymetazoline HCl, and a double dose of antihistamine.  You should be drunk, or numb, or in some other way non-reactive to irritants, of which there are very few in this apartment.  Why, please, before we have even left the house, are you running like a faucet and twitching as if to sneeze at any moment?  This is UNACCEPTABLE.

Also, tell the ears to stop itching.

regards
MANAGEMENT

two things

Dear the Walters Gallery in Baltimore:

w/r/t the 2nd floor, card #11 in your presentation teaching children about medieval bookbinding:  no, the stitching is not pulled taught over the pegs.  Thank you for not suggesting it was pulled taunt, but really, this isn't much better.



Dear everyone:

w/r/t the famous confectioner Ghirardelli:  I don't mind about the second r, but listen -- recall that the g in Italian words like spaghetti is pronounced "hard" because of the h that follows it (in contrast to the g in giorno or gelato, for example, which are pronounced "soft").  With this in mind, please stop saying "jee-radelli".



Thank you!