return to Due South: season 1 episode 9 "A Cop, a Mountie and a Baby"

A Cop, a Mountie and a Baby
air date December 1, 1994

If you know me, you know I have feelings about the lack of a serial comma in this episode's title.

( Scene 1 )

Both Claude and Louise have Canadian accents that betray them. "I just need to go oat for a while," "I was feeling sorrey for you." Bless.

( Scene 2 )

These are not the same Statler and Waldorf as in "Free Willie," but I think we're supposed to think they are; it's a Black man on the left and a white man on the right, sort of acting as drunken doormen.

So—this is the first time someone's in trouble and coming to seek Fraser out, rather than his happening to notice something going down and barging in to help on his own initiative (whether the person he was helping wanted it or not). Only took a few months, but he's got a reputation now, innit.

( Scene 3 )

I feel like this scene is mainly about Marciano being a good sport re: his thinning hair.

Credits roll.

Paul Gross
David Marciano
Beau Starr
Daniel Kash
Tony Craig
Catherine Bruhier

(plus Lincoln the dog)

Natalie Radford, Mark Ruffalo

Yep, almost 20 years before he was Bruce Banner, Ruffalo was a young dad with a gambling problem. That must make this episode a very valuable play in Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, if your house rules allow television credits.

( Scene 4 )

Okay.

Item one: He does look ridiculous. Item two: He should do it anyway. The puffin face is adorable.

Now that that's out of the way, I pretty much categorically reject Fraser's reasoning in this scene. It is a mistake to suggest there is a one-to-one correlation between cloth diapering, homemade baby food, etc. and maternal[1] love. Worse still is the implication that a baby in disposable diapers and with store-bought baby food must have a mother who loves him less. Fuck OFF with all of that. As it happens, Louise probably can't afford commercial baby food, and she told Vinny she was on her way out to get diapers, so maybe she uses cloth when she can't get disposables. I would like Fraser not to jump to judgy conclusions, is what I'm saying. That baby is bottle-fed, buddy; gonna make a value judgment on that? No, thought not, so shove the rest of it as well. [1]I only say "maternal" because Fraser flaps his yap about the baby's mother, but he should have said parent (or parents), of course, because Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, I also reject Vecchio's suggestion that a parent who abandons a child does not love that child. Maybe these blankets and clothes and cloth diapers and reusable baby food jars are everything the baby owns, you know? He could be well-loved and abandoned. Both things can be possible!

ALSO, I'm bugged by Vecchio's default assumption that the social worker will be a woman. Also, okay so Fraser is bugged by the idea of an orphanage, but is he intending to keep the baby until such time as the mother parent comes back to get him? Suppose leaving the baby was the safest thing for the baby? True or false: Benton Fraser always thinks things all the way through. (False. That statement is FALSE.)

I mean okay I get what they're trying to do with this scene, but almost every word of it gets my back all the way up. I'm going to look at Fraser doing the puffin face again.

( Scene 5 )

Fraser's distress about the holding center is not just for Vecchio's benefit; he's not just doing the potentially passive-aggressive thing he did with Lenny Milano's car, because he does it even when Vecchio isn't looking. It's hard to say which of them the show wants us to feel is being reasonable here. Either Fraser is your basic starting point, what a horrible place, how can this be, and Vecchio has steeled himself to the necessity of housing kids in a central setting until individual care can be found for them; or Vecchio is your basic starting point, look, government social service providers are doing the best they can in difficult circumstances, it's not luxury but it's not abuse, and Fraser is this dewy-eyed idealist who can't or won't understand that you don't always have a village available to raise a child. Could be either or both. (Also, Vecchio should have said "you have until six o'clock to find the kid's family," but obviously this episode is hung up on mothers, so I'm not going to point it out every time.)

Meanwhile, the longer-stay kids are running a racket, and Vecchio is an easy mark.

( Scene 6 )

Sphagnum moss: apparently true. Blonde or brunette: She could also be ginger, could she not, or have an artificial hair color (as we, but not our heroes, know she does). Dairy Mart: I'm sorry, this is a chain of convenience stores. Expecting to get scientific expertise on partially digested milk products from the manager at a Dairy Mart is like expecting to get odds-based dice-rolling advice from the manager at a 7-11.

( Scene 7 )

Goat milk is easier to digest than cow milk. This kid is pretty small, though. A few months old, maybe four or five months at most? He has homemade baby food in reusable jars, so he's started on solids; maybe six months. Still little enough that he ought to be breast-fed or on formula, though. Not ready for dairy milk at all.

Anyway, though, seriously, this dude at a convenience store that happens to be named Dairy Mart is an expert on what kind of milk leads to what shape of spit-up? Come on. What about Mr. Madison from the police lab? What about any pediatrician they might have access to? I'm calling BS on the Dairy Mart angle. Also, the nearest Dairy Mart to that park is probably in a much nicer neighborhood than where Louise and Vinny live, so why would that be where they special order from? Also also, aren't you more likely to be able to special order goat's milk from a proper grocery store than from a convenience store just because the convenience store has the word "dairy" in its name?

( Scene 8 )

This song was apparently substantially rewritten before it was recorded by Big Sugar, and/so I can't find the lyrics to this version online.

( Scene 9 )

I'll take a moment to be angry at the doctor on Louise's behalf, because post-partum depression is real and she won't just "get over it" in "a few weeks," ugh. Anyway it's right that Fraser is asking for some proof that Vinny has some sort of custodial relationship with this baby.

( Scene 10 )

I like the idea that there's a citywide network of public servants. But: The mail carrier knows she gave Fraser and Vecchio directions to an address on Hastings, so if she's confirming that Louise is the one who lives there, fine, but why does that mean Louise should hurry? Must be because if she's not there to take the baby when they bring him home, they'll have to take him back to the holding center? And "Babysitting, why didn't I think of that" doesn't make sense to me from a postal carrier who's been seeing Fraser with the baby all afternoon; she'd have had that thought hours ago, surely?

( Scene 11 )

The pacifier thing must be concluding that Vinny was lying about being in a panic over the missing baby.

This young woman's performance is pretty convincingly upsetting. I've said I'm definitely the soft target audience for this kind of story about parents losing young children—but to me she's sure nailing it.

( Scene 12 )

Okay, I'm oddly glad to hear Vecchio say someone stole the locks off Fraser's doors, because I know for sure the super said he found the key when he showed him the place, but I also know he doesn't lock the door when he goes out and hasn't since "Diefenbaker's Day Off" (even though the lock is visible from the inside in "Chicago Holiday").

I do like that in this short time Fraser has become a folk hero. I also like the topspin Louise puts on "People who can't take care of their kids"—it's clear that she bitterly resents the suggestion that she can't take care of her kid.

I still believe Vecchio's readout of the license plate should have been Romeo, Juliet, Delta.

( Scene 13 )

Ding against Fraser for the pronoun its. How does the lawyer know Fraser is a constable? I don't believe he introduced himself. Can she read his rank off his uniform? I'm also a little bit with Vinny on the look on his face when Fraser says he's almost out of goat's milk; I don't think Fraser can reasonably assume Vinny doesn't know that, which pushes him from helpful meddling to smug interference. I know he's disappointed to learn that Louise didn't tell them the whole truth, but Vinny didn't make her lie.

I do like the receptionist who is taking no crap from anyone, no matter how many badges they wave in her face. Administrative support staff run offices, and nobody had better forget it.

( Scene 14 )

I'm not a lawyer, but I think they can't back out. It looks to me like there's a specific clause where they'll have signed a form stating,

That I understand such child will be placed for adoption and that I cannot under any circumstances, after signing this document, change my mind and revoke or cancel this consent or obtain or recover custody or any other rights over such child. That I have read and understand the above and I am signing it as my free and voluntary act. (750 ILCS 50/10A)

It's rough on the bio parents, but I think in Illinois once that form is signed the deed is done, unless their consent was obtained by fraud or duress.

On the other hand, I'm also looking at a statute that says adoption compensation is prohibited outside of basic living expenses during the pregnancy and for four months after the expected due date or two months after the actual birth of the child, none of which is relevant here because Louise and Vinny don't seem to have decided to place Jamie for adoption until he was more than two months old. (720 ILCS 5/12C–70)

( Scene 15 )

Fraser is almost as upset here as he was when he wasn't being allowed to help Buck Frobisher. He always wants to do (what he believes to be) the right thing, and sometimes when he's thwarted he's frustrated by it, but other times it really eats him up, huh.

( Scene 16 )

I looked up this wolf-and-caribou story, and I found a couple of places where precisely this story is related—without crediting or even mentioning this episode, but using word-for-word this text, right down to giving the name of the Spirit of the Wolf as "Amorak," which is how Fraser pronounces it. But a little further digging suggests that the wolf spirit is named Amarok or Amaroq (ᐊᒪᕈᒃ), and Fraser has mixed up the vowels. It appears the legend is a real Inuit legend, though.

( Scene 17 )

I want Benton Fraser and Rose Nylund in a head-to-head Tales That Make You Go "Huh?" contest.

( Scene 18 )

He was right not to be sleeping in the same bed as the baby, but he should have taken away all the blankets and pillows. Diefenbaker was waking him up because the baby was in danger, apparently stuck under a pillow and having trouble breathing, although he recovered as soon as Vinny picked him up. (What I don't need in my television is a waxy, motionless, blue smothered baby. Thanks.) So this kid is too little to roll over reliably, which by me puts the age at closer to four months than six months, despite the glass jars of purees. (Which means Vinny and Louise were signing papers to surrender him for adoption when the baby was maybe as young as 10 weeks.)

( Scene 19 )

It can be fun looking at early work from people who went on to be big stars. Speaking of Golden Girls, for example, observe George Clooney as a young cop in 1987. So I see the kernels of very good work in this performance, but I don't know how much of that is confirmation bias, because I already know that he's very good. (In fairness, I knew he was very good when I saw him in You Can Count On Me with Laura Linney, also ages before he was ever a Marvel superhero.)

( Scene 20 )

So again, the maid was there late last evening and she's there first thing this morning as well. Same maid. What's going on with housekeeping schedules in these hotels?

( Scene 21 )

So the kid-and-money exchange and subsequent cancellation of same is very upsetting on a number of levels. It won't press everyone's buttons, of course, but I can personally feel Louise's heartache when she kisses the baby and looks at the couple who intend to adopt him. It's a kind of dull pain that comes with the acceptance stage of grief. I recognize it perfectly, although I've never given up a child of my own. (I've had to accept other kinds of grief.) A-plus performance in those few seconds. Meanwhile, what happens to the prospective adoptive parents? They are horrified when Vinny backs out and runs away, and then that's the last we see of them. I think we're supposed to think this adoption may be technically legal (although see above) but not a hundred percent actually okay, because otherwise what is Claude doing there? Vinny owes him $10k, but he also seems to have a relationship with the lawyer? Or the expensive couple? Otherwise why would he wave at them? But he was surprised that this was Vinny's solution, back in scene 1? I'm puzzled, in short. But maybe we're not supposed to have a huge amount of sympathy for this couple who are doing this adoption with a briefcase full of cash on an airport tarmac rather than through normal processes, even though they do have a respected lawyer who can make sure all the i's get dotted? We are nevertheless shown a couple who are probably too old to have bio children but who apparently badly want to be parents. At least that's the way she plays it. But then after Vinny runs, they disappear. As do the guys Fraser and Vecchio beat up with luggage; as our heroes are walking back across the tarmac, the luggage train is still there but the guys are nowhere to be seen. And Claude is disarmed, but we don't see him and Diefenbaker again either. The final disposition of the lawyer, the expensive couple, the briefcase-toting employee, the three bad guys, and the dog is left to our imagination. An odd ending.

The title seems to be a reference to the 1987 film Three Men and a Baby, in which the titular three men, oh-so-cool bachelor housemates, find a baby on their doorstep who turns out to be the daughter of one of them, left there by her mother for reasons that are never really made clear, and there's also a mix-up with some drug smugglers and eventually the three men and the baby and her mother live happily and drug-free ever after.

Cumulative confirmed body count: 7
Red uniform: Out to lunch and some of the rest of that day, but changes back to the brown uniform for the main investigative work

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